“No I'm not,” replied Green_Turtle_Boy_369. “You're an alien. I think you'll find that the definition of an alien is somebody from another planet, and as you are on our planet, you are an alien.”

“OK,” admitted Jake. “You're right. But from my point of view you are an alien. I expect anyone I meet in Lapine Death Corps to be human, that's just sensible.”

“Well it's not really. Lapine Death Corps is a Crawk game. It was made by my Dad who is a Crawkling. I'd never even heard of the Moon of Everlasting Lightning until you played it.”

“Crawk? Your Dad? I thought you hated the Grand Zombie-Master? I just brought down all the computers in the Outer Galaxies for you so that you could lead a gaming revolution against him.”

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“Oh that! No that was just a ruse, sorry. You actually brought down all the computers in the Outer Galaxies so that the Crawkling fleet could penetrate the Outer Galaxies Defence System and launch an attack. We have been hoping for such an opportunity for years.”

“What?!” exclaimed Jake. “An attack?”

“Yes. We're invading the Outer Galaxies and it's all thanks to you, Jake. That's why everyone is cheering your name. You're a hero.”

“But I don't want to be a hero...” Jake muttered as he put his head back in his hands. The Outer Galaxies was a safe haven for all who lived there. It had taken millions of years and countless wars for the Outer Galaxies to become impenetrable to non-civilised nations. Its multitude of people and races protected the White Centre, the source of all that is good and pure in the known Universe. And he, Jake Spencer, who had wanted nothing except to end his life of torment, boredom and misery had helped the most notoriously evil race in the history of time to invade.