Jake's head began to spin as he spiralled through the darkness towards his impending doom.

He'd not really expected this. As a strictly non-conforming atheist he believed that the end of your life was just that. The end. Nothing. Nada.

There should definitely be no spinning. He hated the spinning.

He was quite glad when the spinning stopped, although he was less glad when the blackness subsided and he was faced with ten thousand green aliens all cheering his name.

“Jake45! Jake45! Jake45!” chanted the green aliens, spittle and saliva splashing all over the place from their shouting.

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Jake was mortified. He hated people. He hated conversation, especially that of the verbal and non-morose variety, but more than anything else he hated being the centre of attention.

Uncomfortable, angry, embarrassed and wanting to be dead more than anything he'd ever wanted before, he put his head in his hands.

Jake felt a firm prodding on his shoulder.

He ignored it. More prodding followed from a gnarled and boney finger which quite hurt.

“Go away!” he shouted, looking up at the prodder.

In front of him stood one of the green aliens who had been cheering his name. A tall, boney green thing, with a strangely flabby and warty face.

“That's no way to talk to me, your good friend Green_Turtle_Boy_369!” it said, laughing and splattering Jake with some foul smelling gooey saliva.

“Green_Turtle_Boy_369?” spluttered Jake, not noticing the foul smelling saliva on his face due to his own putrid odour. “But... you're... you're an alien!”