I remember being in college and almost every day for about 4 years id drink at least 2 energy drinks, I had a fridge full of them, I'd wake up in the morning, open the fridge, take it to the lecture and drink it throughout, eat some food, go home, grab another and focus on my assignments through the night till I passed out. Architecture sucked.

4 years, yet nowadays it feels like I have around 4 notable memories from those 4 years, I remember vaguely saying something funny that made everyone laugh, I remember having just the best egg omelette sandwich, I remember going to the library and chatting with a couple friends late into the night and being kicked out, and I remember it ending.

It's funny how you can do something for so long, but if you don't actively try to make memories it becomes nothing, that's 4 years that could've been the best 4 years of my life, only 4 memories though.

“Coffee.” Zee hands me the fourth coffee of the hour, he had just watched me have an actual mental breakdown, but once it was all over, once it was said and done, I’m back to basically the same person, you’d think I’d be completely changed.

The past dream year I had a total of zero memorable memories, so therefore, it didn't exist, didnt happen, its toll is evident in my eyes, but in my mind, there is no discernible memory, just a deep feeling of dread. It is all blurry, until, and this is probably a universal truth to everyone who has had a traumatic experience, I get reminded visually, if I go back to that... balcony. If I see anything that reminds me of that balcony, if I feel the wind in my hair again. Things are just gone, if I smoke again, I'll feel sick, if I see a broken chair ill start screaming, if I breathe the wrong way or smell the wrong air or if anything reminds me of that, it's over.

Things have been removed, and I'll never get them back. Just like how I got sick of energy drinks after the 4 years in college, can't stand them, makes me feel stressed.

I don't feel heavy after this 1 year, I feel empty, nothing was added, no weight on my mind, things have just been deleted. There are just things I can't do anymore, I am just weaker now, worse, objectively a damaged human being. I'm sure a lot of the people here are.

I drink it without saying a word, I'm not even thinking, just drinking, the black coffee in my mouth, the mug in my left hand, I'm not left-handed but my right hand has a broken finger so naturally it’s in my left hand.

And just like that, it's gone.

“Make coffee?” Zee asks, taking my mug, if I have another I'll probably pass out, my teeth are stained an otherworldly colour of coffee, not flattering.

“No... Zee... I'm sorry...” my voice comes out untranslatable, I forgot how to talk, I forgot how to talk to someone who isn’t in a dream.

“I'm kill dream monster.” He fills the coffee cup again, “down, what down...? What floor?” He sounds desperate, and it makes sense, he needs me, I have information, I know how to survive... well barely, and without me he would be alone.

I've pretty much resigned myself to whatever will happen to me, it's sad to see him try so desperately to help.

“Dream monster make wave, what floor, start game?” He leans towards me, breathing into my face.

What floor start game? I think I understand what he is asking, “287.” I say in the quietest voice possible.

“Alice, Zee, go make down, 287. I'm kill dream monster.” He forces me upright, my ankle hurts so much.

Zees eyes are full of emotion, I feel bad, all of this sucks. “Now.” He says as strongly as possible in his childish voice.

Now? Really? I don't want to, I really really don't want to, I just want to relax, I want to give up, I want to do nothing.

I want this stupid curse to be lifted, my life would actually be heaven in comparison if I could sleep again without torture awaiting me. But going down to floor 287? Really?

“Okay...” I barely get the words out, he opens the door and takes us downstairs, the burnt concrete from my little explosion charring the walls black, we take ourselves to floor 296, walking the hallways like a pack of confused rabbits. The roof had caved in, and almost everything smelt like copper.

I lean on him as we travel, the further we get from the burn the more webs we see, clearly my plan was only a temporary fix. My hand touches a wall as we walk, sliding across it, flakes of the paint fall off and make a soft noise when hitting the ground.

We find an egg sack and zee holds a finger gun out, “bang.”

Again, like before, the entire hallway was covered in blood, I can't care right now though, I really can't. So now the routine was set, we walk, zee finds a face spider, he says ‘bang’ unemotionally, then it covers us in fresh blood. This had made finding a stairway difficult because the room doors are red, but the stair doors are grey, but with Zee speaking death into existence everything is crimson.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

Again and again, he kills anything in front of us, again, covered in blood, my ankle begins hurting and he takes me into a room to eat.

“Alice no strong.” He says to my face, “ALICE BAD.” He screams, “BAD ALICE.” he yells and screeches and growls. He can tell how I've given up, clearly being more emotionally intelligent than I thought.

I can't care right now, I stare at the boy in front of me, “just go home...”

“Am go floor 287, zee.” He stomps out, leaving me all alone.

Out of self-hatred I just pick up a phone and dial a number, I don't know why I'm punishing myself but I am.

It picks up, it's my mom's voice, humming a song she would every night before I would go to bed and dream happily. The irony isn't lost on me, very funny.

I go over to the Tv and turn it on, and yep, it shows me a video of the balcony, that tracks, great, yeah. I grab the tv and slam it onto the ground, my mom still humming in the background, this is stupid.

I pick up the phone, “go fuck yourself.” I throw it at the wall.

I'm going to kill myself again. I step out, Zee is nowhere to be found, I hope he went back home, but my gut is telling me he won't quit until he gets to floor 287 or dies trying, maybe it's for the best... he will respawn right? I walk around, I find a spot where the hallways aren't covered in blood and there it is, plain as day, that fucking elevator.

I walk over to it, pressing the button, the lights flicker and its gone, vanished, replaced by a grey door to the stairwell, I should be angry, I should scream. “Cool.” I step in, this one takes me down to floor 294, ‘the wet floor’ or whatever smart name I'll give it later, I'll come up with something, because I have eternity to think about it.

The area I walk into wasn't that wet, no obvious mold, there are some really nice plants here, I snap a bit of aloe vera plant off, my mom was obsessed with aloe vera, great for the skin.

This floor was a lot less linear, less hallways, more just rooms connecting to each other. I open one room which said, ‘past boy’ On a little grey plate on the white door. Another completely meaningless set of letters, much like how this place is a meaningless set of moments. I step in and it has hard wood floor, I breathe slightly and hear something behind me, it's one of those... I should give them names... ‘breathers?’ No that's dumb... ‘gasps?’ Think of a scenario, ‘oh my god there's 4 gasps behind that door.’ Okay that makes sense, that works.

I turn around, its two of them, both mid sprint toward me, arms on the ground running like primates, I don't have anything to stab them with right now, so my hands will do. I walk up to the first one and just start twisting its head, these things are so fragile. It falls, the second one I ripped its legs off, standing a bit away I take a breath in, watching it try to crawl towards me as fast as possible.

I giggle, letting more air out, it manages to grab my foot so I stomp its head with my hurt ankle into the hard wood floor, its bandaged body squishes like mashed potatoes.

This room had some filing cabinets, inside of each file were missing posters for geckos, one was named ‘juice’ and had cute little beady eyes, I folded the poster and stuff it in my pocket.

I walk into the next room, it's weird how what once scared me now doesn't, you'd think when your arm gets bitten off by a shark, you'd never go in the water again, but here I am treading the great fucking barrier reef. The next room has some desks splayed about in a vast office, the carpet is blue, and the walls are white, pure white.

There is some mold in the corner of the room, that's an issue, but I guess if I get sick again, I can just end it, that is the point of this after all. After walking for long enough i reach another stairwell, yay! Progress! I step down to floor 293 and open the door, the lights are off and the carpet is gone, going barefoot seems dangerous...

I go in barefoot despite my feet and ankles protest, there are some nails I step around with my limited visibility, there doesn't seem to be any face spider webs here, it's just empty. There aren't even any doors it's just hallways.

I turn left, more hallway, I walk, I turn right, hallway, I walk, I turn right, hallway, I walk. There seems to be only one hallway, it twists and turns but there's no splitting, it's just one long twisty line.

“HELLLLOOOOOOOO!” This'll probably kill me, it echos around, coming back at me, then fading away, to my surprise nothing happens, nothing at all, no monster repeating my words back to me, so I walk.

I continue walking, my ankle was an active issue I hadn't really thought about, I welcome the pain but also at a certain point it just becomes a debuff, like a flat tire on a road trip that just brings the feeling of ‘okay that sucks. Going to need to get that fixed.’

When does this hallway end? I continue walking, walking, walking. Nothing, I feel like I've made the exact same turns. Actually, I have made the exact same turns, is this a loop? If so where's the stairwell?

I walk, I'm pretty sure I'm just trapped now. The ankle pain is hurting my teeth somehow, it's like my brain is screaming at me to just stop already, but I'm scared if I sit down ill fall asleep.

A thud echos behind me, “argh, fuck... SHIT, not this again.” The voice of a man with a very rough English accent happens behind me, for the first time I feel kind of... happy? Unless it's a trick, this could be a trick.

“Hey...!” I say as loud as I can.

“Oh, shit is that a chick?” Footsteps walk towards me, once he is around 4 steps away from me, I can get a good look at his face. He has a scrappy beard, I can tell under it he has a pretty weak jaw. “Damn and you’re sexy too. Besides the blood.”

Okay I don't like that, he steps a few more times until we are face to face, his above mine, “What's your name?”

“Alice.” Fuck I'm scared again, I didn't think I could be scared again, I didn't think I could feel anything again.

“Pretty name, fits you...” he scratches the nape of his neck like he thinks he is the main character of some romance novel, “since we are both in a trap floor and practically dead, wanna fuck?”