After sitting on the roof for an indecipherable amount of time we walk down the staircase, my concept of time after that month has been severely screwed up. The smoke had completely cleared out so I could see the damage, floor 288 was surprisingly unscathed, sure the staircase door was destroyed along with a lot of the metal railings, but the door to our room stayed put.

some of the carpet and paint on the walls was burnt, but other than that, it seemed fine, I didn't see this as a good thing. I go down to floor 297, it was completely charred which was a good sign, no webs in sight, the hallway roof had caved in a bit so it created a natural wall for going left, I see this as a win.

“Alright, time to die.” Zee follows me up the stairs, he is probably not going to be happy with what I'm going to make him do. I walk into our apartment, it was incredibly hot so i left the door open. The notebook was on the table, I go to a new page and begin to write down the rules for CPR as I remembered them in health class.

He watches me write for a few minutes but then gets bored, he walks to the pantry and chomps down some chips, we have way too many chips now, he is eating ‘lime chicken molten stones’ which was actually a delicious snack.

“Give.” I hold my hand out and take a couple, if I'm going to die its not going to be on an empty stomach. After I finish writing I give it to him, I used a lot of visual aids for this one so he should pick up on it.

He looks at the paper then at me, then back at the paper. I don't know what he is thinking, there's a slight tremor in his lips. “Bad shower.” He walks over to the bathroom and fills up the bath with cold water, leaving the plug in.

I wrote down that he will probably need to hold me down, wait 5 minutes then take me out, I'm not sure the exact time it takes for a brain to die but that should be it. I don't really want brain damage, but i think within the circumstances it'll be fine, id just be unaware of the horrors, would be great.

He points at the bath, “go.”

I reluctantly get into the bath, I don't know if he will be able to keep me down so I need a lot of mental fortitude right now, I don't know if ill try to break free when water fills my lungs. I lay backwards a bit, my neck completely below.

“Alice...” is all he can say before pushing me down, he is a lot weaker than I thought, my head goes below the water, for the first 30 seconds I was almost meditating.

40 seconds in, I began to feel pressure in my nose and mouth, I took a breath out and the bubbles rose up.

50 seconds in, I begin to get a pressure building up, my head feels a bit tight.

1 minute in, the pressure in my chest builds, i close my fists harshly to hopefully distract myself.

1 minute and 20 seconds in, its incomprehensible how much i want to break through, its starting to get severely difficult to not thrash.

1 minute and 40 seconds in, i begin to kick my feet against the bath, slamming them.

2 minutes in, i grab zee’s wrists and squeeze, stuck in between trying to hurt him and telling him to keep going.

2 minutes and 20 seconds in, i squeeze harder, my feet keep thrashing, i try to breathe again, doesn’t work.

2 minutes and 30 seconds in, i let go of his wrists and try to push up, i just barely get out of the water to gasp before zee uses his entire body weight to push my head down at an awkward angle, my mouth gets full of water and i feel it go down my throat.

Stolen story; please report.

2 minutes and 40 seconds in, its hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts.

3 minutes in, I scream into the water, nothing comes out.

3 minutes and 10 seconds in, my hands claw at zees arms, then at his face, then at whatever i can touch, i smash my heel so hard on the bath i think i broke it.

3 minutes and 20 seconds in, everything goes dark, black spots in my vision appears, the sun sets, tomorrow will be right.

...

299, 298, 297, 296, 295... I am back on the balcony, a clicking noise, a faceless boy of zee rests in the concrete hole I made, “nice try, but you still technically fell asleep.”

“No, no I am dead not asleep.”

“you’re a moron, a brain tumour doesn't die when you kill the brain, it comes back along with the brain. But well done, good idea.”

I sit down on the concrete and throw a piece of loose rock at him, it just goes through him.

“Rude.”

“What do you want?”

“I told you, to see you suffer, and you didn't hold up our deal, you killed the wrong person. It’s not like I was going to follow the deal anyway.”

I sigh, “okay, well when I wake up ill just kill myself for real.”

“I'm getting too friendly I think, I'm afraid you severely mistake who is in control here.” he walks over and grabs one of my fingers, “and I can hurt you. I lied.” He breaks my finger by twisting it around, “it's just better when you hurt yourself.”

I move backwards after he lets go, the throbbing pain in my finger feels like nothing right now.

“Oh, you thought because I decided to chat with you, id eventually be on your side? Switch sides because you are just such an interesting person? You know how many people I've done this to? I know you’re trying to seem interesting and be unique, but there is nothing you can do. Alice.” He steps forward as I bump into the invisible wall.

“You really thought I would be awed by your intelligence or your special circumstances? You thought the fact I'm not some primal beast you could make me want to help you. You thought this was a fairy tale, didn't you? Because you are still unsure if this is real, intelligence doesn't mean nice. You can’t follow tropes and befriend me.” his body transforms into me, my face blurred out, I'm in my formal dress.

“You aren't special, you aren't the main character, you are, in the most simplistic way I can put it, fucked. I'm not above anything Alice, I don't have standards, there isn't a shred of humanity in me. And you want to know the only thing that brings joy? Hurting you.” She presses on my ankle till it breaks.

“Theres no winning, you know what's funny? Even after death ill be with you, I'm embedded within you, you'll never be able to sleep again, isn't that fun?” She steps back.

“there's nothing you can do, it's funny how all people think this, they believe just because I can talk that I would be on their side because they are special. Every. Single. One. So special aren't you Alice? Now, stay here for a year.”

She disappears, I can't move my ankle at all, I begin crying, I think it's the first time I've cried since I got here. I'm stuck here, in a worse hell than the hell I was already sent to, for what? For what? I need to know, for what.

I wasn't that bad of a person, sure I never really tried to help anybody but I also never tried to hurt anybody, so what is this for? Why am I sent to the worst punishment possible? Who did this? Who decided it to be this way? I didn't even fucking die, I was on a crosswalk, minding my own business and I got sent here, for what? For what?

Why does this place exist? Why put good people in here? Why even make the people? Nobody fucking deserves this, we are all just beings of circumstances, for what? Why?

Is there a god? Is god some prick? Is god some asshole? Why would this exist? Is this just torture for no reason? Is this all a test? A Test for what? A test to see how much we can take before we break?

Id rather have the fire and ember and actually know I'm in hell, id rather have Satan poke me with a spear and tell me why I'm here, a reason, I want a fucking reason. Because right now, there's nothing, nothing. Absolutely nothing.

For what? Was it because I was mean to that one boy in grade 8? Or that I once shit talked a coworker because everyone else was? So I get sent into what is just a psychological meat grinder? Is that it?

None of this makes any sense, no person is this evil, no person hates humans this much, even the worst humans on earth wouldn't put people through this knowingly. So why? Why? Why? Why?

I would rather not exist than be like this, I'd rather just... go...