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Abandoned

I was too drained and weak that’s why when I saw the knob move, I just closed my eyes, anticipating my death.

“His daughter is her-”

But the voice is interrupted by a gunshot. And gunshots again.

Upon opening my eyes, I saw new numbers of bodies added, dead on the floor.

I searched the room but found no one responsible for the shooting.

Another man entered and aimed his gun at me, but I saw German on his back— and he is faster than him.

Headshot. He shot him in the head.

And I saw it with my bare eyes.

I would be lying if I’ll say that it didn’t scare me, terrified me. But witnessing the scene where the sword is swayed at my mom is something that made me less terrified to the death I just witnessed now.

Like it is nothing compared to how terrified and ultimately scared I was a while ago.

I looked at the blood flowing in his head, and it made me feel blank for a moment until something snapped at me.

Mom.

My mom needs me!

Then I stood up. Made it fast to carry my mom out of this place, out of this chaotic place. But with one try I almost kiss the ground. I couldn’t carry her!

I am too weak!

German rushed towards me and he carried my mom out of the room. We walked fast but with extreme caution. German is silently observing any movement from the different angles of the house.

But halfway from the hall, I turned back.

Aware of my sudden turn, German turn look at my full appearance and to where I am heading.

“Miss,” he called me.

I looked at him and saw how critical his condition is too. His shoulder is still bleeding, but he has a machine gun hanging on it while carrying my mom. The strap of it is drenched in blood.

“Where are you going? ” he asked, renewing his hold on mom.

I shook my head and did my best to get rid of the lump in my throat.

“I need to go back. Please, ” I begged.

“But that room and the way towards that room and is dangerous now. It will be hard for us to-”

My tears welled up and flowed again to my cheeks. I need to go back! I have to! That is the last thing I had to do for my mom!

“Please! ” I cried again.

He looked through me. I looked at him too. And as soon as he nods his head I sprinted all the way to enter that room again.

I’ve stepped a lot of dead bodies but I couldn’t care more as I know I should move faster because German, even if he’s not saying it, is getting weaker and weaker for all the wounds he acquired and all the blood he lose in this battle.

Earlier, after he carried mom, I saw something fell. I saw it but I was too occupied earlier to leave, that’s why I failed to notice it.

I searched on the floor. Kicking anything that will make me slow to find it. Until I saw it.

It was a necklace and it is clipped in a gun.

Without a second thought, I picked it up and felt the cold metal on my skin. The coldness it introduced in my system made me almost drop it on the floor.

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I held it tight and urged myself to get up. This is not the time for me to slow German down.

I rushed towards the door to follow German but as soon as I step out of it, I came face to face with a man, only a few meters away from me, and his gun is positioned to fire at me.

I hid the gun behind me and waited for the shot to take me but from afar I saw how German skillfully raises another gun and fire it away targeting the man’s neck before the man even pulls the trigger to shoot me.

I saw German throw the gun away and at my best speed, I ran towards him.

We both walked fast. And I do not know how many dead bodies we stepped into just to reach the parking lot.

Funny of me to think that we will be safe once we get out of the mansion. Because the moment we step outside I heard gunshots again, and we immediately hid ourselves in the cars.

Breathing heavily, I looked at mom and German. His veins are showing and he is critically bleeding!

“You are bleeding! ” I exclaimed at him even though I am aware that he is aware of it too. And that mentioning it now, is so silly of me when it’s been a while since I’ve been seeing him bleed.

He faced me, still breathing heavily as he assess our current situation.

“Just a small wound,” he said, smiling at me.

Probably to make the atmosphere lighter for me.

I smiled a little too to acknowledge his effort.

But that was short-lived.

Both of those smiles dropped as the shooting begins again. Making us realize the reality we are currently facing.

He moved something on his machine gun as he faced me again.

“Could you please hold your mom for a while, ” he said as he lay my mom in my lap.

He suddenly stood up and fired his machine gun, like a machine gun maniac with his grin plastered all over his face.

If only I do not know him, I would be too scared for my life.

But I do, so instead of watching him, I focused my eyes to fix mom’s position.

She is so pale now. Her lips weren’t as cherry red as before. And even with the shots and loud creepy laughs German is giving now, I cannot help myself but to cry again looking at how lifeless she is now.

She’s gone.

My mother is gone.

I hit my chest repeatedly, hoping the pain will fade away but it won’t stop. I clenched my fist on my shirt and felt all the suffering again as I hold her in my arms—dead.

Why did they need to take away the life of the people who only wanted to live in the world happily?

Why did life take her away from me like this? I couldn’t understand...

Why did we have to end up like this?

After a few minutes, German ended his firing and looked down at me. His smile fade away at the sight, he immediately carried mom out of my lap.

“We should get going. Fast. Now. ”

We walked again, taking advantage of the falling men and our men exchanging shots with the enemies.

He led us to a large monster car and the moment we entered, he drove it out fast.

I removed the hair from my mom’s face and although her face is cold I caressed it. Let my tears fall in it.

“Mom, can you please tell me a story? ” my voice broke knowing that she can never tell me one anymore.

And I cried again.

I noticed German’s staring in the side mirror. A witness of my pathetic situation, on how pitiful I am.

I do not know how long I’ve been grieving when the car suddenly stopped. My eyes flew to the window, and I notice some people outside, including my dad.

We are in a forest I am not familiar with, and it is dark that they need flashlights to see each other.

German opened the door for me. He is also the one who carried mom out, placing her into a bed I do not know where is from.

Weak, I look at dad, asking for an answer. A help.

But in the dark, he is too stoic and emotionless.

His lips were in a grim line looking at my mom. I saw no single tear fall from his eyes or even a mark of tears on his cheeks.

His eyes are just red.

I wanted to jump and hug him but something is stopping me from going. It is like he was in a too dark state.

I’ve never seen him fit so perfectly in the dark.

And it scared me.

After minutes of just staring at him, he didn’t even dare to look at my eyes.

Why is he so indifferent?

This is the time I needed him most!

He sure is with me tonight but I couldn’t feel him. He wouldn’t even take a step to get near me or hush me or even dare to look back at me.

Men carried my mom, and instead of wasting my time pleading for attention and affection he cannot give, I directed my eyes on mom again.

Mom, why is he being like that to me?

My tears fell again and I cried in silence as I watch the thing get her into the ground.

My tears fell more, hoping to turn back the time when we were happy baking in the kitchen,

dressing up for an event,

tickling each other till we ran out of breath,

and all those happy memories of the family we built for years.

Weak, my body made me kneel on the ground that I almost fall together with my mom but German caught me and removed me away from it.

How will I live my life now?

I cried again in German’s arms but despite my blurring sight, I looked up at my father once again.

Dad.

I. Am. Hurting.

Where are you?

But he didn’t move a bit. He didn’t caress me and tell me that everything will be alright. He didn’t hold me or embrace me to make me feel his warmth on this cold night. Instead, he just turned his back on me as if he is about to leave.

As if I am just nothing to him. As if he is not seeing me, vulnerable in the dark.

“Dad. Please, ” I begged again even when I am clueless why I need to beg him at this point.

I saw him pause for a while. My hope that he would finally wake up from whatever that’s running in his mind, leaps up to me again.

But he step forth again until I cannot contain seeing him walking away from me so I closed my eyes—and let those unending tears speak my pain out.

I am left all alone.

Physical pain really doesn’t equate an emotional pain.