One day when I was eleven, I woke up one morning to blood all between my legs. I started screaming. I was just so sure I was dying. It hurt too, deep in my belly. When my father came in to see what it was about he told me I was “a woman” now and I’d better start behaving like one. Whatever that meant.

One of the maids that had attended my older sisters explained what had happened and showed me how to wear a towel in my undergarments to deal with it. That was annoying. They told me it was good for having babies, but I let them know I had no interest in doing that. They laughed and didn’t believe me. I don’t know why. I don’t make things up.

Remember the cook, Inge? She had ten babies in her life. After I was taken into the hunting parties, she died giving birth to her last one, like my mother. Her husband had said, “Well, at least it was a boy” at the time. So I don’t know what all the fuss was about. You’d think my dad would be glad to have a boy as the last one. Why did I have to be a woman now?

Well, those are ideas of a little girl. Obviously, I got to understand things a little better as I got older. After my blood cycle started, my father got me a tutor. He was shocked I hadn’t had one. Forgot about me, I guess. The first tutor I had was an old wizard who had come to Thornhill and developed a bad knee and couldn’t really ride away again. His name was Affric. I liked learning from him. He taught me a lot about magic, some of it was just silly showy stuff, but he taught me a fire incantation that would start a twig burning even if it was wet, and out in the field that’s downright useful. But I found out he wasn’t supposed to be teaching me that stuff. He was supposed to teach me my family history, the history of Ashlar and, of course, our religion. When father found out about the magic I was learning, Affric’s knee was suddenly better and he rode off back home.

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The next tutor was an older man who was only from a few towns over. His name was Unroch. I liked him because he would get sleepy in the middle of his lessons and nap. That worked out for me, too, since that’s when his lessons would get really boring. I took that time to go out and find Gavendor and learn more from him instead. When I tried to ask Unroch about the insides of creatures (I gutted one for him once), he turned a little purple and ran off. When I asked Gavendor, he knew some things, so those are the other things I learned from Gavendor that seemed important.

But Unroch taught me to read and write. I learned the Wymer family history and all about the Deity’s Saints. Our main saints at Thornhill are Ilvir and Kelanen. Ilvir, the Beastmaster, because we are mostly hunters who live off the land. Plus, the lizard people live near us and, although we don’t call them monsters to their faces, well, they sort of are. And Kelanen, the Warrior, because my father thinks we can become fearsome warriors, or at least he wants others to think we are, I guess. Personally, I think he should have chosen Sarajin, Lord of Storms, since storms affect the marshland a great deal and placating him helps hunters and those of us trying to survive on the land. But I guess my father doesn’t really worry about that since everyone works hard around him to assure his survival and that of our manor.

I know it’s all partly a farce about the one Deity and his Saints. I have heard my father talk about the Old Faith with much greater respect which is founded on understanding and being in unity with the elements of the world. We have shrines to the Saints and the One God, but in secret, we all commune with the earth, air, water, and fire spirits. I feel like that’s where the magic comes from, but as I’ve mentioned, I don’t have a lot of official training in that.