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Adventures of General J. Bottle
Chapter 3 My Way Part 1 (Volume 2)

Chapter 3 My Way Part 1 (Volume 2)

Beer Beard sat with his back against the cold, damp wall of a hideout located in the North of Omega Sector.

His body ached from the wounds he had sustained in the battle against Gesus.

The ninjas sat around him, tending to their injuries and recovering from the defeat they had suffered.

To an outsider's surprise the hideout was above ground, it was an old abandoned temple.

It was shrouded in the steel and concrete that encompassed the area, making it nigh impossible to see.

Suddenly, the door to the hideout opened, and in walked a tall, imposing figure.

It was their old master, a Master Shinobi of the Shinobi Academy.

He wore old white silk robes that seemed to have turned yellowish as bones.

A long and glorious beard flowed straight down from his face.

Unfortunately the old master's scalp was worse for wear. Shiny… but nothing to boast about.

He strode towards them, his white robes billowing behind him.

"Ahhh… Beer Beard, my old student," the master Shinobi said in a deep voice. "Still on the path of revenge I see… So? What happened this time?"

Beer Beard looked up at his former master, his afro giggling at the motion. "Shitz’ hav’ya gone blind too ol’ man?! We got our ass whuuped!"

The master Shinobi nodded slowly. "I see… I see… But do not lose hope. There is always room for improvement.”

“You and your ninjas must train harder, and become stronger. Only then can you hope to defeat Bottle."

Beer Beard and his ninjas listened to their master's words, but there appeared to be some resentment in the air..

Beer Beard spoke first, “Ol man… this ain’t gonna work no more.”

“Ninjitsu, poison, shurikens?! Hell! Throwin a table at em would be betta!”

The ninjas seemed to sympathize with Beer Beard to some extent.

Their weapons and tactics didn’t work. At least not against Gesus.

They trusted their master's guidance and training, but they couldn’t imagine becoming as strong as a SUPER-human.

One of the other ninjas spoke, “Unfortunately I agreeu, we are stronger but nowhere as powerful asu those who have betrayed their fleshu, their humanity!”

The others also seemed to agree, shaking their heads.

The old master turned to survey the room, after stroking his beard, he looked back at Frank who was shaking in a corner. "Tell my Frank, how many this time?”

“...” silence prevailed in the room as Frank merely looked blankly back.

But from it Mike raised his voice, being one of the more senior members he didn’t hesitate to respond to his old master, “Twelve dead, eight injured.”

The old master nodded silently, “Hmmm, Trust me my pupils… when I say It brings me as much sadness as you, I mean it."

“But also trust me, when I say the way of the Shinobi should not be taken lightly!”

The tone changed, everyone knew what was approaching… a lecture…

But to everyone’s surprise the old master opened up a cabinet and pulled out a cup and teapot.

Using a one handed Ninjitsu art he blew fire into a fire pit and set up the teapot.

[Fireball Jutsu!] (VOOSH!!)

The display was awe inspiring to everyone, reminding them of the first time when they were at the academy.

The Shinobi academy had seen better days, there was a time when it was a militant force for hire by various nations.

One such nation was the Hair Kingdom but those days were long and far gone.

The green tea smell felt strong, gently touching the noses of everyone.

Mike who had been watching like everyone else managed spoke first, possibly due to his rank within the clan.

“M-Master, d-do you not have anything to say?”

After taking a sip the old master spoke, “Unfortunately not, Mike… What I have taught is all that I know.”

“W-What!” “How can this be!” Many of the ninjas seemed to struggle with what they had just heard.

Frank, who was sulking, raised his head, “B-but what about jutsu(s) used during the wars?”

The old master sighed deeply, seeming to be distraught but responded anyway, “Unfortunately those jutsu(s), will most likely never happen again… I am sorry Frank.”

“The other Shinobi academies… face a similar fate…”

Beer Beard seemed to sulk with everyone.

Although he was not an official Shinobi, the old master took him in when he was a kid and taught him all that he knew.

He couldn’t help but feel saddened by the news.

“Oi, ol man… W-Wha happ’en ol’ man…?” Beer Beard said with a concerning face.

“Yes, tell us! Why are we unable to use the jutsu(s) from days past?” Mike replied.

The old master took another deep sigh, but this time he gulped the remaining tea in his cup and proceeded to speak.

“Well… as you know the secret arts are kept in scrolls with an advanced sealing jutsu. I myself got my hands on the original copy once I became a Master myself… several dozen years ago....”

“However, I was unable to open it.”

(!!!)

Audible gasps could be heard in the room, many of the ninjas faced each other seeing each other's reaction.

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“Feeling anger and shame, rage came over me… I threw them into the river… and never found them again…”

The story abruptly ended, and the old master proceeded to pour another cup of tea as if nothing had happened.

“Yo… Ol’ man… wtf?” Beer Beard replied.

The ninjas also seemed to be irritated by what they heard, so they began to talk amongst themselves.

Several ninjas appeared to have enough, and they proceeded to leave the room.

Frank spoke, “Where are y-yuu going?”

One of the Shinobi spoke back, “We had enough Franku, we cannotu follow this fool any longer!”

Frank froze, and sat back down unable to respond.

Many others joined the suite, and soon there was only Frank, Mike, and Beer Beard.

“U-uah! It's my fault!” Frank squirmed.

Beer Beard looked back at the door in which all the other ninjas left and turned back around contemplating whether he should also leave.

Feeling a little ashamed but hoping for some type of silver lining Mike spoke to the old master, “Master please, the story must be fake! There must be some lesson you are trying to show with this isn’t there?”

“You can try to look for it yourself if you wish, the river has long dried out however.”

“Where!” Mike replied.

“West of here, you will find a graveyard and beyond it lies brittle ground. Look there…” The old master said.

Mike clenched his fist and slammed it against a wooden pillar. (SLAM!)

“Uh! Fine I shall find this scroll myself and open it! I did not train to become a Shinobi just to lose to some drug infused subhumans!”

He out of all the other ninjas carried with him the spirit of fire, having seen a different master Shinobi in his youth defeat an army alone he was determined that the way of the Shinobi would be his way of life… his ninja way

“Frank! With me!” Mike shouted

“Uh- okay!” Frank followed suit, he was the younger brother of Mike, who also witnessed that Shinobi master in his youth.

Although Frank’s determination seemed to waver, he had a good heart almost too kind for this day and age.

As Mike and Frank left, Beer Beard and the old master were alone.

Beer Beard wished to leave too, in fact he was about to until he motioned to sit by the old master.

“Sigh~ what do you want, ol’ man? Can’t ya see what you just did? Look at tis! Everyone left!”

“Ah… It may be so, yes, but only for a moment…”

The old master started to pour a cup for Beer Beard

As the hot tea steamed out of the cup, the old man proceeded to hand it to Beer Beard.

“Tell me Beer Beard, what do you remember about your childhood? About the Hair Kingdom.”

Beer Beard paused as he was about to grab his cup of tea and looked at the old master, “Ol man… I didn’t grow up in no’ kingdom I grew up in da streets.”

The old master contemplated whether to continue, “I see…”

“Well it is true there is nothing for me to teach them… but to you, there are many things I have held secret.”

“O’h really?”

The old master suddenly stood up after finishing his cup of tea, surprising Beer Beard.

Come, let us talk after we get something to eat.

“Ah hell yeah, now we talk’in”

>>>

The smell of freshly cooked noodles filled the air as the old Shinobi master and Beer Beard sat at the noodle cart, their bowls of steaming hot noodles in front of them.

The sounds of the busy street were muted by the slurping of noodles and the occasional clink of chopsticks against bowls.

Beer Beard savored each bite of the broth, letting the flavors dance on his tongue.

In some ways it would be no better than a cup of noodle, it wasn’t deep, nor did it have any type of extra ingredients, but there was a charm to it.

The old Shinobi master watched him with a small smile on his face, pleased with the enjoyment on his former student's face.

As they ate, the old master shared stories of the Hair Kingdom.

He spoke of the lush beards, mohawks, cannon heads, afros and other wonderful hair that resided in the Hair Kingdom.

He told of a time where many different styles of beards and hairs lived together in harmony, and that the hair people sported with pride, each one as unique as the person who wore it.

The Beer Beard listened intently, nodding along as the old man’s descriptive detail became blurred by the slurping of noodles.

“W-wai’t ol man… hol up.”

“Hmm?”

“You telling me I have a father’n mother?”

The old master trembled when Beer Beard mentioned his father, which Beer Beard noticed.

After clearing his throat the old master continued, “Black Beard…”

“Black Beard?” Beer Beard repeated.

“Yes… that is the name of your father… one of the four emperors within the Hair Kingdom.”

“Dam’ you tell’in me I’m royalty?!”

The old master stroked his beard, “Well… it was more of a title than anything else… but look at your afro Beer Beard.”

Beer Beard raised his one good eye to look up, “Huh… I always do remember you tell’in me to do mah hair like tis.”

The old master nodes.

“That came from your mother’s side, and your beard came from your father. In fact some of the rings you wear are gifts from your mother and father.”

Beer Beard took a look at his rings, they were all gold rings, some with letters and other designs. “Hmm, dang… I didn’t knew that… I jsut wore’em cus you gave’em to me.”

Beer Beard looked up back at the old master, “W-why you telling me this ol’ man.”

“Because I made a promise to your father Beer Beard… that one day, you would save the Hair Kingdom from the Hair Hunters…”

“Whoa whoa whoa, ol’ man… I don’t plan on saving no kingdom, I’m here to take over da world baby! WHOA!”

Just then someone else who was sitting next to them laughed, “HA Ha ha ha ha!”

“Take over the world? Hell you should join us, ja? Ha ha ha!”

There was a man wearing his barbershop outfit with a smiling bear apron, grinned slyly at the two men.

His bald head had streaks of tattoos resembling arrows in all directions.

"Ja, ja, I heard you talking about the Hair Kingdom," he said, tapping his feet.

"You know, I've been hunting hairs for years, and I've never thought there was a survivor such as yourself."

Beer Beard looked puzzled and decided to leave the table, but just before he could the stranger spoke again.

“Ah! My apologies, names Potato.”

Beer Beard hesitated, but the old master spoke up. "SHIT! BEER BEARD GET DOWN! HE’S A HAIR HUNTER!"

In that moment Potato unsheathed a comb underneath his sleeves swiping horizontally at Beer Beard’s luscious afro with surprising speed.

(SWOOSH!) (CRACK!)

Potato’s attack was halted by the fast reaction of the old master, blocking with his arm he was able to save Beer Beard’s afro, at the cost of some deep cuts caused by the combs.

"Heh, I hardly recognized you, Potato."

Potato snorted, “H-huh? Y-your alive?!”

“Ninjutsu art! [NAKED PALM BLAST!]” (BOOM!)

Using his non blocking hand the old master pushed against Potato's chest with his palm causing a surprising amount of force to push Potato, slamming him against the ground.

“Yo, what the hell is going on ol’ man!” Beer Beard said.

Potato tapped his feet together, causing sharp silver combs to flick open from the top of his dress shoes.

Potato dusted off some dust. "Ja! Ja! What happened old man? Balding at your age? Oh wait! I remember, it was taken from ya! Ha ha ha ha."

The old master gritted his teeth and glared at Potato. "You were always too arrogant for your own good, Potato. You think you're invincible just because you can hunt down some stray hairs?"

Potato smirked, his bald head glistening in the light. "You know it, old man. And you should know better than to get in my way."

Beer Beard watched in shock as Potato roundhouse kicked at the old master with his comb shoes.

But the old master was quick to dodge, and he countered with a swift kick that sent Potato sprawling to the ground once more.

"You may have taken my hair, but you'll never take my spirit," the old master said, his voice seething with anger.

“But as for you… What happened to you Potato… You used to go with your friends to the barber shop every friday'.'

“And yet you kept your mohawk, while your friends would get trims, braids and other exotic styles.”

Potato picked himself up, grinning wickedly. "Historys History old man, If I were you I would be more focused here then back then ja?"

With that, Potato flicked his sleeves again, and two hot rod combs appeared, both glowed as if two suns were setting.

“So be it!” The old man quickly formed a jutsu with his hand, but compared to what he showed before this one was far more unique.

“SECRET ART OF HAIR, [BOWL CUT!]” (CRASH!) The old man grabbed his noodle bowl and threw it at Potato, causing it to shatter.

(SLAM!) “ACK!”

The old man then proceeded to throw more items at Potato, from chopsticks to spoons.

Which soon became ineffective when Potato started to spin the hot rod by the cord, creating some type of barrier.

As Potato was getting ready to attack from the corner of his eyes he saw Beer Beard pull out a gatling gun from his afro.

(!!!)

A loud whirring sound blurred out all of the noise, “Ol’ man get down!”

(WHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)

(BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)

(Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink)(Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink) (Clink)

The Noodle shack was being ripped piece by piece as if a winter hail storm was eating chunks of it.

Potato ran as fast as he could using his skills and martial prowess and weaving through various obstacles escaping the barrage of bullets and out of line of sight.

Beer Beard quickly attended to the old master, grabbing him and lending his shoulder to assist as they both escaped.

As soon as Beer Beard felt safe he set the master down.

Panting Beer Beard looked at the old master, confused and slightly afraid.

"Wat the hell was that all about?"

The old master sighed and shook his head.

“Beer Beard… I have told you much of the Hair Kingdom… But the current Hair Kingdom is far… far different…”

"The Hair Hunters were responsible for the downfall of the Hair Kingdom. Sent by Kuska, the son of Max V. Vermillion.”

“Your father and many others tried to stop this but failed...”

“They hunted down anyone with hair and forced them to shave their hair. I was one of the lucky ones who escaped, but I've been on the run ever since."

Beer Beard frowned. "A-And you think I'ma the one who can save the Hair Kingdom?"

The old master nodded. "You have the power, Beer Beard. Your hair is like no other. With it, you can defeat the Hair Hunters and restore the Hair Kingdom to its former glory."

Beer Beard looked at his reflection in a nearby window, admiring his impressive afro. "Hell’ I never thought my hair could be so important.”

“B-But so what? The’y ain’t my people, hell the other ninjas, Frank’n Mike are more like my people."

The old master smiled. "I’m glad you think that, Beer Beard."

“I will still teach you… the choice will ultimately be yours of course…”

“Huh? Teach’me wat?”

The old master smiles again, “The Super Secret Fist of the Beard Beard, of course.”

And with that, the two set off into the night, back to the ninja academy.