Please give me ur comments for my first fanfic
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1. The Start
This universe consists of many worlds. Different worlds with different species, beasts, landscapes & characters. Our hero exists in one of these worlds called Luminia, a world where humans, demons beasts & other various species exists where powerful strive and weak perish. A place full of battle and adventures where life is tested to its limits.
Our hero, Luke is son to the family of battle mages. Battle mages are warriors trained in combat and mage fights, they differ from normal mages who are physically weak and warriors who don’t posses mage force. Battle mages have both physicality and mage force to appear top of fighters in Luminia.
Luke’s father,Pluto is one of the fiercest warrior, a battle mage in Luminia. He serves under the emperor Malcus of human kingdom, Vestoria. His wife Prima is one of the top most mage in luminia. Specalizing in darkness and fire elements. Luke’s brother, Kyle who is years elder & a battle mage of top tier and is youngest genius battle mage to reach the top tier in the entire Vestoria history.
Luke is the youngest son of the family, he s not a genius but talented though he cant use magic because of the blocks in prime meridian veins that allow his mana flow in his body a condition that is a rare one, but he doesn’t gives up, he makes it up with his theoretical understanding of magic arts and mana i.e he is a bookworm. But he trains hard in the way of warrior in increasing his physical capacity.
Although no people dare to offend Luke in person due to the fear of his father but they rather annoy him comparing his brother. He used to envy his brother still he loved him though his brother seldom met him.His father was some what disappointed in Luke & his mother although cared him but everything was to a minimum. Sometimes Luke used to be distressed in his room about his inability to use magic arts and mana.
Even though he was in a large villa still he felt he was all alone. His father never called him to any feasts or parties held in his villa. He was always a separated figure in the entire crowd. His childhood friend Elena who grew up with him till 8 years has now started to fawn over his brother Kyle.
At 9 years age Luke felt this world has left him alone. Elena started to change when she learnt Luke couldn’t use magic arts as her parents advised her not to interact with Luke who was worthless in magic arts. In Vestoria magic arts where valued more than warriors with physical capabilities.
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This made luke to become determined to show this world that he is not incapable person so he sunk into books. He started gathering knowledge about magic arts and mana of this world. He used to spend his time after morning training in library reading ancient books with the help of librarian who helped in deciphering the ancient texts, the librarian came to like Luke because his determination in knowledge pursuit and his friendliness with him.
But Luke never skipped his Warrior training,he diligently trained his body in the morning with warrior’s training instructor. Luke returned to his home in the evening , he usually avoids to eat with his family and no one cared about it.
Today as usual after spending his time in library he returned to his home. There was a large number of magical beasts that were lying on the huge land of grass belonging to their villa. Magical beasts where intelligent beasts with the ability to use magic and where very strong.They had to be tamed by defeating it and making it to submit.
Luke made his way into his villa.There were lot of guests chatting & enjoying their food in the main hall.
No one noticed Luke’s presence rather didn’t bother to notice him.
Luke went to his mother to enquire, on seeing Luke coming Prima walked to him fastly and mentioned that his brother has won the tournament held annually to pick out the bright talent and select them to the imperial academy to train them to become fine warriors in their respective field. Only 30 students would annually be taken into the academy to be trained.
The annual completion would be like a fight against a primary level magical beast and finally a battle royale style for the finalists.
(Magical Beasts are classified as Primary level-Middle Level-Saint Level-God Level and other than them are relatively normal beasts)
Prima advised Luke to go to his room as she didn’t want to embarrass herself and her husband in front of guests due to Luke’s inability to use magic arts. She wanted to show Kyle as treasure of their family. Luke was hurt very deep thinking even his mother shows partiality between him and his brother.
Even his father considered Kyle as the one who will lead his family to glory, he never cared his second son as his son than treat him like a stranger. Luke understood deep in his heart “Power rules this world” and he determined to show this world that he is not powerless.
The day ended with the banquet of guests and members of royal family congratulating Kyle regarding his achievement into the Imperial Academy. Luke when he was returning saw Elena was fawning over Kyle and many noble’s daughters rounding Kyle.
He knew he was powerless so he remembered bees and birds stock flowers with honey. He needed power and he desired to obtain it at any costs