Miku wasn’t sure what she hated more: being hurled into another world, dealing with an overly glowing celestial claiming to be pregnant because of her, or this weirdly enthusiastic knight who kept grinning at her like she was his long-lost princess.

Actually, scratch that. The glowing celestial—Seiji Raiden—was the clear winner.

“I said NO CAFFEINE!” Miku bellowed, snatching the teacup out of Seiji’s hands before he could take a sip.

Seiji, whose golden glow pulsed faintly like a low-budget light show, gaped at her. His golden eyes flared with divine annoyance. “Are you seriously dictating what I can and cannot drink?”

“Yes!” Miku snapped, clutching the teacup like it was the Holy Grail. “You’re a celestial! A pregnant celestial! Do you even know what caffeine could do to your… glowing situation?!”

Seiji leaned back in the plush chair he had commandeered earlier, his long legs stretched out lazily. “I am literally a celestial being. Do you think caffeine could possibly harm me?”

“Well, it might harm the magical baby that you’re apparently carrying!” she shot back, pointing accusingly at his glowing stomach.

Before Seiji could retort, the third wheel of chaos entered the conversation.

“Excuse me, Lady Miku, but… magical baby?” Kaito Aoyama, the overly enthusiastic knight in question, tilted his head in confusion. His blue eyes sparkled with determination as his polished armor clinked softly. “Is that why he’s glowing?”

“Yes, Kaito,” Miku sighed, exasperation lacing her tone. “Seiji here—who, in case you forgot, is a celestial—is glowing because of a card I accidentally used. Long story short, he’s now magically pregnant.”

Kaito blinked, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. “That’s… not something they taught us in knight training.”

“No kidding,” Seiji muttered, massaging his temples. “Mortals are insufferable.”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“You’re the one who pointed a sword at me first!” Miku countered, spinning to glare at the celestial. “If anyone’s insufferable, it’s you, glowstick!”

“Glowstick?!” Seiji repeated, his golden eyes narrowing dangerously. “You dare mock a celestial?”

“Oh, I dare,” she shot back, crossing her arms. “You’re pregnant with a magical baby because of you.”

Kaito, meanwhile, was still stuck on the glowing. “Wait, hold on. Celestial? Magical baby? Why haven’t we addressed the fact that he’s glowing like a festival lantern?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out!” Miku snapped, waving her arms dramatically. “But someone,” she pointed at Seiji, “decided to drink caffeine without consulting the only person here with common sense!”

“Common sense?” Seiji barked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “You’re the one who thought I was going to explode yesterday!”

“That’s still on the table!”

Kaito, ever the optimist, took a step forward, puffing out his chest. “Fear not, Lady Miku! I shall protect you from any celestial explosions!”

“Protect her?!” Seiji exclaimed, gesturing at himself. “I’m the one who needs protection! She is the cause of all my suffering!”

“Excuse me?!” Miku screeched, turning to face him.

“Yes, you!” Seiji groaned, leaning back dramatically. “You summoned me, you activated that ridiculous card, and now I’m stuck here glowing like some cosmic ornament!”

“Are you seriously blaming me?”

“Yes!”

Kaito looked between the two of them like a spectator at a tennis match. “I… feel like I missed a lot.”

Miku pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering under her breath. “Let me catch you up, Kaito. Seiji here is a celestial—an overdramatic, caffeine-addicted celestial—who decided to point a sword at me the moment I showed up in this world. I panicked, used a magical card, and boom, now he’s glowing and pregnant.”

“Pregnant with a magical baby,” Kaito repeated, nodding slowly.

“Yes.”

Kaito blinked, then grinned. “Got it.”

“You… ‘got it’?” Seiji asked, incredulous. “You’re accepting this madness as normal?”

“I’m a knight!” Kaito declared, his grin widening. “I’ve been trained to adapt to any situation!”

Seiji turned to Miku, his golden eyes narrowing. “How do mortals like him even survive?”

“With great difficulty,” Miku muttered, before pointing at the now-empty teacup. “And zero caffeine!”

Seiji groaned, throwing his head back. “This is worse than the time I had to fight the Demon Lord.”

“Get used to it,” Miku snapped. “Because if I catch you drinking caffeine again, I’ll personally smite you.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, I dare.”

Kaito beamed at them both. “You two really are getting along wonderfully!”

Seiji and Miku turned to glare at him in unison.

“Read the room, Kaito,” they said in perfect harmony.