It was supposed to be a normal day. A peaceful stroll, a soft breeze, the sound of birds chirping—and then, bam, she was in a completely different world. Not just any world, but one where people wore shiny armor, castles loomed ominously, and everything screamed “this is not your home.”

She blinked. Once. Twice. Did I fall into some cosplay convention?

Nope. She was definitely not in Kansas anymore—or wherever she had been before.

“Wait… where am I?” she muttered to herself, adjusting her glasses. She looked around at the medieval world before her. The cobblestone streets, the horse-drawn carts, the people in flowing robes, the large castle in the distance.

Okay, this is weird.

How the heck did I get here?

A small crowd had gathered around her, staring like she was some kind of rare exotic animal. She tried to blend in—because in moments like these, blending in was the best option, right?

The crowd gawked. Ugh. I knew it. I look weird, don’t I?

Before she could hide her awkwardness, a random guy stepped forward. “You!” he yelled. “Who are you, and what are you doing here?”

Oh, no. This is it. I’m going to get arrested by some knight or thrown into a dungeon.

“I—uh—don’t know!” she stammered. “I think I’m lost?”

The soldier’s eyes narrowed. “Lost, huh?”

I knew it, I’m getting abducted, and no one will ever know what happened to me. I’m going to be part of some ancient myth about a weird traveler.

Just as she was about to try and explain further (with her impeccable social skills of... um... completely freezing up and saying nothing), a very dramatic figure appeared.

A celestial. Yep, an honest-to-goodness celestial. Glowing, glowing like he’d just stepped out of a shampoo commercial, with golden eyes that looked like they were trying to see straight through her soul. He stood in the doorway, arms crossed and looking like he owned the universe—or at least this very dramatic scene.

He gave a dramatic pause. Then, as if some internal switch had flipped, he pointed a finger at her and declared, “You. You must be the one. The one the king and queen have been waiting for!”

She blinked. Wait, what?

Before she could sputter anything out—like, say, "Excuse me, but I have no idea what’s going on!"—he pulled out a sword.

Not just any sword, mind you. A ridiculously huge sword that gleamed like it was made of pure dramatic flair. His eyes shone, his posture was perfect, and if there was a spotlight, it would’ve been on him. He was clearly expecting everyone to be awestruck.

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“Prepare yourself!” the celestial boomed, raising his sword as though he was about to singlehandedly destroy a small army.

Okay, okay, I’m dead. This is how I go. Drama personified.

Her hands trembled. There was no time to think. Without knowing why, her hand shot out toward a weird glowing set of cards that had somehow appeared in front of her. Why? Why are there cards? she thought frantically. She didn’t even remember picking them up!

She swiped one from the Offense deck because, honestly, offense sounded like the best option when faced with a dramatic celestial with a sword.

She held the card up. It was a glowing, bright thing. And as she flipped it over, the words on the card made her freeze:

Make Your Opponent Pregnant.

Wait. What?!

Her brain had no time to process this insanity, and before she could even blink, her hand—still shaking—accidentally grazed the card. And guess what? Blood splattered on it. Just a little bit. Like a drop. And the card lit up like it was about to summon a dragon.

This is it. This is where it all ends. I get killed by a celestial with an overdramatic sword.

But no, she didn’t die. What happened instead? Well, the celestial... screamed.

And not just a small scream. No, no, it was a full-on, I’m-in-pain scream, like someone who’d just been hit with the world’s worst cramp.

“Wha—what is happening?” the celestial gasped, clutching his stomach and dropping to his knees like he had just been hit with the worst cosmic cramp in history.

And then, the best part happened.

Huge, glowing, and incredibly dramatic letters appeared above his head:

YOU ARE PREGNANT.

WHAT?!

She stared in utter horror as the celestial—who had been the picture of ultimate power just moments ago—doubled over, his face turning from smugness to pure, unadulterated confusion and agony.

“No,” he whimpered. “This can’t be... I’m a man. A celestial man!”

She watched as his abdomen began to shift—nope, nope, nope, please stop, this is too much, she thought—but it didn’t stop. It twisted and reshaped, and something was happening to him. It was like some kind of... cosmic body horror, but also somehow the most awkward thing she had ever witnessed.

The room was silent. Dead silent. Even the nobles are stunned. This is not how I thought my day would go.

The king, the queen, and the advisors stared at her as if they had all just witnessed an alien invasion. And finally, the king—trying to keep his composure—coughs awkwardly.

“Well, this is... unexpected,” he said, trying to suppress a laugh. “Certainly not what I imagined when we called for an audience with the celestial.”

The queen, trying not to burst into uncontrollable giggles, added, “Well, this is certainly... interesting.”

The celestial, still kneeling on the floor with his glowing pregnant belly, shot them a death glare. “This is no laughing matter!”

The queen whispered to the king, “I think we’re witnessing the universe’s greatest misfire.”

The king shrugged. “Well, somebody’s got to handle this situation.”

And then—just when the moment could not get any weirder—he turned to her and said, “Congratulations. You’re now in charge of... him. Take care of the celestial’s... situation.”

Wait, wait, what?!

“Wait, what?!” she gasped. “I didn’t sign up for this! I didn’t even want a magical pregnancy card!”

“Too bad,” the king said. “You’re the one who activated it. Now, enjoy your new celestial responsibilities.”

She gaped. How the heck do I take care of this?

The celestial groaned, still clutching his stomach. “I swear... this is the worst fate ever.”

She had no idea what had just happened, but at that moment, she realized one thing:

Her life was never going to be normal again.