Who Am I?

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He gritted his teeth in frustration as he leaned back against the throne. Slowly, he reached for his nose and pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt the looming headache rear it ugly head. Oh, he couldn’t actually have a headache as he was God, but the sentiment still stood as he found out exactly where he was; and he wasn’t sure if he should be elated or be in despair.

There he sat as he listened to his seraphs while they brought him up to speed on the current situation they were in. To say that it was dire was an understatement, “Without your guiding hands, things have fallen into disrepair and none more so than the Sacred Gears,” The Archangel Michael despaired as he knelt down to his knees in supplication.

Sacred Gears, God’s, or rather his, gift to humanity. The power of the supernatural sealed in the form of tools the children of god could use. Given how Heaven itself looked like it was falling apart before his ascension, he could only guess at the state of the autonomous systems his predecessors made.

“Your gift to humanity, poached by the Devils of hell. The best of humanity is stolen away and their gift taken out of the cycle until they’re freed through death, an unlikely thing given how the Devils give those they convert their unnatural longevity,” Michael lamented before he went down to bow on all fours, taking him aback by surprise as he rose up from his seat.

“Father forgive me. It is I that was responsible while you were away yet even with the throne, I failed the most basic of tasks. Please, don’t take your frustration upon my brothers and sister. It is I who failed you so please, just punish me alone,” He begged him as he heard him choke on his own tears.

Beside him, the three other Seraphs currently present in heaven knelt down as well. Frustration and anger slowly melted away as shame and sadness filled his heart. He could feel his chest tighten at the sight of Gabriel crying her heart out while Uriel and Rapheal were not doing so well. He felt horrible, yet powered on and faced the reality that he found himself in for their sake. He was not their father but damn him if he didn’t try his best to be the one they deserved.

Slowly, he walked over to Michael as he held back his own tears. The angels flinched as he stepped down his throne. Silence descended upon the empty room as he stood before them. Kneeling before the archangel, he reached out and gently placed his hands upon his head before he started stroking his hair, “There’s nothing to apologize about Michael. I should be the one that should be the one begging for forgiveness,” he cried out with a smile on his lips even as tears fell down his eyes.

Before he could even react, he was enveloped in a warm feathery embrace. He froze as all four of the Seraphs wrapped their hands around his form. He didn’t know them, he wasn’t close to them, hell they were practically strangers but all he wanted to do now was just to hold them. And so he did, “I’m sorry, I’ll never leave you again. I promise.” He whispered to them. His heart might not be set in being a god, as he could easily run away, but all he needed, what they needed, was for him to lie until the lie became the truth.

Eventually, he pried himself away from their holds, else he would just be stuck there for who knows how long. He had his duties to attend to and a throne to go back too. It wasn’t just Heaven he had to attend as the flock needed help as well, “You’ll be good ok? I need to work now since we have a backlog,” He chuckled out nervously. Calling it a backlog was an understatement, calling it a backlibrary might be a more apt description.

“Oh before I forget, I need you four to do something for me. Is that all right?” He asked them. With how things were, he needed something to make them busy. He couldn’t have them see him struggle with all the things he needs to do. They needed a savior but all they got was him.

“Anything for you father!” They answered eagerly, ready to snap into action at a moment's notice. Nodding, he then turned to Gabriel as he made his first request.

“Oh, I know Gabriel called everyone, but can you have them return to their station?” He asked her, making the woman pout as she glanced out to the clouds below the throne. Only the four of them were here, where were the 6 other Seraph? “No! I don’t hate them for not showing up as I understand they might be busy with their tasks. Just have them come when they have time, alright?” He reasoned with her as he did his best to calm her down.

The seraph sighed before huffing, “As disappointed as I am of my siblings, I understand father. I should however remind them that a call from above should always be answered,~” She replied with a not so pleased tone. The glint in her eyes had him shiver in terror. Before he could even plead to her for the health of the others, she was already gone. He glanced over to the other three who refused to look at Gabriel’s direction.

Sighing, he turned to Uriel, “Uriel, can you set a meeting with the church? I don’t have a date but make sure that they know that I want to talk to them. It’s been a while,” He needed to talk to them about a lot of things like how they were divided and how some of them were doing some unspeakable things. He needed to have a word with them.

“I’ll do it father. You can count on me!” Uriel eagerly answered as he flew off to do as ordered.

Turning to the staff wielder, he grinned as the man gulped as he waited with bated breath, “For Raphael, I was promised a breakfast,~” he teased the man who became flustered at the reminder. Even as god, it seemed that he needed sustenance.

“Forgive me father! I shall retrieve your breakfast as soon as possible!” The man shouted as he bowed. He chuckled as he ruffled the man's hair. They might be angels, his angels, but teasing them was just way too entertaining.

“I was just teasing you, lighten up a little,” He assured him as he sent him off with the others. Now, it was only him and Michael left in the throne.

Even after their little heartwarming moment, Michael was a bit down, crestfallen really. He still looked like he wanted a punishment so he gave him something that could be seen as one in a certain light. “As for you, Michael,” he called out, making the Archangel look up at him in attention.

“Yes father?” the man asked.

“I need you to take a rest,” He requested the most powerful of his host. Yes, he could have him do many things like hunt down people, save certain people, do his will, but hasn’t he been doing that all this time? This man had been at the helm ever since god had died, but now he was here and he was going to help him no matter what.

“But father! I don’t understand. I can-!” The Archangel protested but he cut him off as he raised his hands. The man closed his mouth even as he looked like he wanted to continue.

“Michael, when was the last time you had a vacation?” He then asked him, prodding him about his situation. Oh he might have an idea about that. Even if he hadn’t read about this world, he knew damn well how much responsibility this man had shouldered.

“... Centuries? I’ve forgotten…” The man answered with a frown of confusion. He shook his head at that, it was worse than he thought.

“This is exactly the reason why I need you to rest. I don’t want you to burn out. Go explore the world, do as you will. This is my reward for you, the freedom from the burden of duty. It is only temporary but even the best need a break. Just look at me, all rested up!” He joked as he gave the angel a pat on the shoulder. His “rest” might have taken centuries. He wondered just why, but at least he was now here to help things.

The angel looked at him bewildered before he smiled and nodded, “Of course father. How can I say no when you lead by example?” The angel replied with a soft smile spreading across his face. He grinned as he finally got him to loosen up.

“Mhmmm, now go before I change my mind,” He ordered while pushing him off the room. The man only laughed as he walked off. Grabbing the great doors of the throne room, he pulled it close and shut it behind them. Now, in the privacy of this room, he sagged as he finally relaxed. It seemed like he had a lot of things to do before he could live up to the old man. If he was tired just from dealing with them, how much more when he had to deal with the unruly ones like the Fallen?

Going back to the throne, he frowned as he mulled over the words of his greatest child. He then blinked as he shouted to the heavens above “Wait… did he just sass me!?”

-x-x-x-

Staring at the plain, black, leather-bound book in his hands, one would think that it was just some other random old book but there was more to it than meets the eye. He held it up sideways and allowed the pages to fall. Page after page of writing, thousands of years of thoughts and expression written in the fine vellum, flipping endlessly with no end in sight. Here in his hands was God’s, or rather his own, very diary.

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He wasn’t quite sure what to make of it when Uriel gave it to him but it all became clear when he opened it. He might have the memories of the ones before him, but that doesn’t mean he knew why they did things as they did. The diary gave him insights to not only their thought process but also their stories, feelings, and failings they lamented on mixed in with the triumphs and joys they had. It certainly gave a lot of context to what he had now.

This book was the key to how to operate the throne that refused to answer to his command. All he could do upon this throne was to hear the voice of the world yet here he was, unable to do anything. He could also repair heaven but he knew it was superficial at best. He needed the deeper features of the throne yet he did not know how. He needed answers so he turned to the words of his predecessors.

In his readings, he found out that it wasn’t just him and his predecessors; there were others before them. Flipping through the book, he found three distinct writing patterns which his predecessors had come to name to separate himself from the other two. His predecessor called himself Testament while he named the two other reincarnations before him as Genesis and Elohim.

Quickly flipping through the pages, he scanned through Testament’s and Genesis’s writing before stopping at the single entry that Elohim, the original one, left for them. His hands traced the words written upon the nearly tattered piece of vellum before he uttered the question he left behind, “Who are you?”

“Just work already!” ”He grounded in frustration as he banged his fist against the backrest of the throne yet it remained quiet. He found no answers but those same questions written in the very first page of Genesis and Testament’s entry. The first entry should have given him some clue but all it gave him was a stupid question.

“Who am I?” He whispered as he looked up at the heavens above. He knew who he was but was he who he thinks he is. Was his old life just a dream? Who was he really?

“You are Him,” A woman answered and Absolution almost jumped out of his skin when he realized who it was. He breathed out a sigh of relief as he gazed upon the most beautiful woman in heaven. She smiled up to him as she held up a tray filled with various cheese, vegetables and fish. A simple meal, yet the scent was heavenly.

“Oh Gabriel, it’s just you. Where’s Uriel?” He asked her as he peered behind her to find no one else as she closed the door to the room.

“He’s currently visiting the other Seraphs.” She replied as before giggling as he gazed up to her questioningly. That was supposed to be her job yet here she was, serving him his breakfast. “I have my ways,~” She answered him as he shook his head in amusement.

“You can leave the tray beside the throne.” He then said as he gestured to the table beside him. He had burrowed the table from the office outside as he found the lack of a table in the throne room offending his senses. Where was he going to place his stuff? Down on the floor?

“You seem frustrated father, is there anything I could help you with?” She inquired as she gazed down on him with worry.

He clenched his eyes once more as he heard the cries of terror as injustice was committed down below, yet their cries were mixed in with all the others before them. He was tired, he was confused and more importantly, “I-I don’t know,”.Some omniscient god he was, not knowing the answer.

“Hmmm, it seems like you're having one of your funks again. Would you like to have breakfast with me father?” She then asked as she beamed at him with those innocent blue eyes and wide joyful smile; She was his angel.

With no progress to unlocking the throne and growing frustrated by the second, he decided the best course of action was just to stop for now. “... Sure.”

And so, they sat there together. He sat on the throne while she sat on the wide armrest and sat on it like it was her spot. Given how adorable she had been so far, he would give her this spot. He munched on the eggs while he mulled on how he could get this throne to finally work. Could the question in the diary be the answer? It couldn’t be that easy right?

“So father, what’s bothering you right now? You have that frownie face when you’re all frustrated and angry,” Gabriel prodded as she poked at his checks. He blinked as he felt his brow before he reached up and massaged his aching temple.

“I’m just… confused,” He admitted. He was a bit stumped. There were no controls to the damn thing. Just him, the throne and nothing else. Even speaking to it didn’t help with all the complaints he had about it.

“Would… would you like me to sing you a song? You always smile whenever I sing for you,” Gabriel then offered. He pursed his lips, thinking about it before nodding. Maybe something to ease his mind could help. As frustrated as he was, he couldn’t exactly use that energy if he didn’t have the direction or outlet to let out on.

“That would be lovely,” He nodded as he listened to her song. It was just a simple song yet her lovely voice carried it supremely. For the first time in a while, he felt his heart settle as he was absorbed into the melodies of the music echoing in the inner throne room.

As Gabriel sang, he felt at peace. All his worries seemed to melt away, all the voices asking for his help fading just a bit as he found some peace and solace with the seraph. He didn’t realize just how they drowned out his thoughts. The need to answer every last one of them wasn’t so overwhelming now and finally he could concentrate.

“Who are you?” A voice asked him as he sat upon the throne of god.

Who was he? Why was he even here? He was a nobody. They could have picked out anybody else but here he was. Would he be able to do a good enough job? So many questions flooded his mind, doubt creeping in from within his own heart. He was just a mere phony yet… he was a phony in the place of god.

“Who are you?” The voice asked once more and he felt his hands clench in rage. He was him but he who once was should no longer apply to his current situation. What was also clear was that he certainly was not him.

He might not be him but he certainly damn well knew what he wanted to do now that he was in his shoes. He wanted to help people, he wanted to fix this world and if only this damn chair would respond to his will but… how can he help this world if he couldn’t answer one question. Who was he?

He… he really didn’t know his name and who he really was but he had a purpose. If he couldn’t name himself using the old identity he once had then he’ll name himself after his goal. For a brief moment, he felt the power he felt when he sat on the throne well up once more. Gabriel squeeked out as the winds around them whipped up into a gale. His throne shining brightly as the gears grinded against one another. He could feel it yet as he focused on it, it faded back. He didn’t have the key, he needed the key and there, he realized that who he is was the key.

He breathed in, letting the embers of this power burn inside him and through him as he focused on the one thing he needed to do, his purpose in this earth. He focused on those words, he willed those words to be and then he uttered them, letting the heavens know who he was and what he wanted to do.

“I am him, I am Absolution”

With those words, the flood gates holding back the tide of power; the doubts, the confusion, and indecision, melted away as power once more flowed through the throne of heaven. The heavens trembled as golden light spread out from the throne room and out into his realm. Long forgotten mechanism kicked into gear as the countless bells of heavens rang together, spreading his power wide down in the world below.

He blinked as his will was done just as he wished. He was Absolution and his purpose was to forgive so the world could move on.

-x-x-x-

When people heard the ringing, the world stopped. Many gazed up wondering what it was. Many a wise man thought it was just some weird natural phenomenon while some simply blew it off as mass hysteria. Still, the golden lights that danced in the sky were undeniable and the voice that called, was heard by everyone.

For one Asia Argento, she cried out in her cell as her prayers were answered. He forgave her.

-x-x-x-

Further abound, the supernatural stirred. Those that were hunted when the heavenly host was abundant scattered to the four winds. Others, meanwhile, roared out in challenge. The gods of those areas now claimed by christianity stirred as he woke up once again. Many panicked just as the lesser creatures before them. but some relished upon the call. None more so than a certain goddess from the new world, who grinned as the usurper returned.

Those outside the realms of christianity? Some merely returned to their daily lives. A certain king among gods in the southern realms of Asia, however, met it with much fanfare. “It certainly took you a while boyo! I hope you didn’t lose your touch for Nirvana is not for you to claim,” The arrogant god howled out in laughter.

-x-x-x-

Deep within the earth, it was pandemonium. For a brief instant, bells rang and they knew agony. He called out to everyone and they heard him loud and clear. While the populace tended to the sudden and brief headache, the heads of the 72 pillars convened. In a show of force, every last one of them showed up. Despite their clashing allegiances, they tolerated each other as they listened to the 4 satans of the underworld.

“He has returned,” Sirzechs Lucifer grimaced as cries of dismay and anger rose up from the room as the information about his brief death, and clearly a temporary one at that, was spread around.