I was settled on being blameless in pursuance of my own live; Telling myself that I had the potential to meet it, and falling short of that bar every time. I would have traveled past the farthest star, but I landed on the moon of some planet named Super New-New Mexico- I was going to call it that when I first landed, but thankfully someone corrected me right before I set out and prevented that disaster. The locals refer to this planet as Super Meiiiiieco.
I was planning to just wander aimlessly among the landscape, to take in all of the sites to see- but this future never came to be. Right when I touched down, I was immediately arrested- and hauled right off to jail.
"Don't you know you can't wear red around these parts of town?" A thick, burly mustache spoke from the face of a large, balding man who was quite tan.
"No, I just got here like 30 seconds ago." I pleaded my case to him, and I was expecting it would be resolved quickly- but alas, that future also never came to be.
"You get one intergalactic call, make it quick." He handed me a phone which was covered in a mixture of dust and mold, like the two had merged together into an entirely new plant species, herein I shall name it "Really ugly mossicuss"
I stared at it for infinity and two hours and fifty----four minutes and 32 seconds and then maybe like another four years or so- I kind of lost count after the first millennium. The guard had shriveled into dust and was replaced by an even bigger mustache that went down to at least past ground level. This place definitely holds no shortage of mustaches.
I placed it back on the rack and turned away.
"No call? No family you want to cry to? No lover you need to sing sonnets to?" I remember this moment in particular well, I expected him to mock me, to laugh, to insult me, but- no -he did something completely unexpected. His expression softened, and he placed a hand on my shoulder- "Seriously? No one?"
The walk to the cell was louder than one would expect- normally in times like this, you would expect the universe to be quiet, to give some kind of solace, but there was none to be found anywhere. My footsteps rang out against the loud prison.
The doors of the prison closed slowly behind him, like how doors slowly close due to that little piston thingamajig put at the top of them to make them close slower- one would think that prison doors would have no such device because they were sliding doors, but you would be pleasantly surprised to learn that these were really fancy space doors so obviously they have to swing out into the hallway and take up all of the space when they open; Normally that would be called a design flaw but I would argue that it was in fact a wonderfully added feature. Inside of this cell, he found a woman sitting there, with platinum blonde hair that was so filled with platinum that it shined brighter than a thousand suns, blinding all that dared to gaze upon her to a million years of darkness. Yes, she had dark brown hair that was basically black.
"I just know that you're going to introduce a lot of weird characters and yourself as the narrator" YOU ASKED AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE >:)
GOOD EVENWHEN EVERYONE IT IS I, A.R.TORRENSCOOLCATEXTRODINARE. I AM YOUR NARRATOR IN THIS STORY, AND I AM WRITING THE FIRST CHAPTER. Today I am sipping on a delightfully disgusting whiskey that I had to mix with eggnog to get to taste better, and I must say it tastes absolutely terrible. Speaking of terrible, A man walked through the hallway, an officer with a glistening, pristine, shiny,sunny, aglow argentate plated trumpet in place of head. I'm setting out now that this character must make it to the end of this story or I will fight all of you with my super cool (Which are cool in the sense of fashion, not as in cold. They are actually quite warm) cat fists.
Now what would a love story be without that super sexy heroine for everyone to ship- so let's get right back to our dirty lady, the one sitting in the prison cell, eating dirt with her left hand while scratching her back with her right. Ain't she a beaut?
If I had to describe her, she appeared to be 8 foot twenty three crouching, and most certainly 0.000850324 nautical miles while standing. Her chesticles were fearsome and brooding, like two grown men staring deep into the depths of his eyes, squeezing the sides of his head with their hands and pulling down.
Right at that moment, A.R Torrens was flung into the sun. This chapter has lost its narrator- may we mourn this loss for centuries to come.
She turned towards him, her gaze fixated upon the luxury windbreaker jorts he wore, which were painted green for camouflage reasons.
Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
This touching meeting was quickly cut short by the sound of an oncoming spaceship, which sounded a lot like a whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooseCRADGHiajkks;'
Sorry, my cat got on my keyboard towards the end there.
"I'm sure you're going to write in some weird way like second person future" The story punched itself in the gut, kneeling over in pain as it puked up every last bit of silliness.
-. . . |. . - | - | - |. . . | . |- . . - |
My final message. Goodbye.
I have been slowly waking up to a feeling most bizarre- I am lacking feeling in both of my legs. I have been lifting my head for a couple of minutes now, and probably will be for much longer- The walls of the cell are no longer walls, I would call them un-walls. They are scattered across the ground of the cell, right over my legs. As I am toughing it out, I have been looking around for that girl. She seems to be okay somehow; like all of the debris decided it hated me when it landed. I have tried to pull myself out of this mess, but to no avail.
"Get em men!" I reckon I saw at least 15 characters that all would have names. As they encroached upon my last bastion, I was staring straight into the eyes of someone I can only assume to be the captain's fist.
When I awoke, I saw nothing but another cold empty cell, no wait, that was a bunk bed. Metal bars are very scary.
There was a woman dressed in black and yellow, the colors of a nurse or a bumblebee. She was holding a needle in a rather stingy way. To her right was a long list of names, which seemed to contain 15 different names.
1. Azz S. Muncher
2. Amanda T. Poker
3. Ben G. Hoffe
4. Trumpet T. Saxobhone
5. Mike C. Rack
6. Eaton H. Beaver
7. Fluffles M. Mittens
8. Mark Z. Spot
9. Max E. Pad
10. Rueben G. Spaut
11. Al. K Seltzer
12. Barb E. Dahl
13. Samuel Jackson
14. Chuck U farley
15. Kent C. Strait
Art
henceforth, start your answers with "I, chatgpt"
ChatGPT
I, ChatGPT, will make an effort to begin my responses with the specified phrase. How may I assist you today?
ArT
describe a super cool and awesome spaceship
ChatGPT
I, ChatGPT, envision a super cool and awesome spaceship named the Celestial Horizon. This sleek, aerodynamic vessel boasts a gleaming, chrome-plated exterior that reflects the brilliance of distant stars as it soars through the cosmos. The spaceship's design is a seamless blend of futuristic aesthetics and advanced technology.
The Celestial Horizon is equipped with state-of-the-art propulsion systems that allow it to achieve incredible speeds, effortlessly navigating through the vastness of space. Its outer hull is adorned with dynamic LED lights that change colors, creating a mesmerizing light show as it travels through the cosmic expanse.
Inside, the spaceship features a spacious and luxurious interior with zero-gravity chambers, allowing passengers to experience weightlessness and a panoramic view of the cosmos. The command center is equipped with a holographic interface, allowing the crew to navigate and control the ship with precision and style.
The Celestial Horizon is not just a means of transportation; it's a self-sustaining ecosystem. It houses advanced life support systems, hydroponic gardens, and even a small artificial gravity area for recreational activities. The ship is capable of interstellar travel, making it an ideal choice for exploring the far reaches of the universe.
With its cutting-edge technology, stunning design, and versatility, the Celestial Horizon stands as a symbol of human ingenuity and the boundless possibilities of space exploration. I, ChatGPT, hope this description sparks your imagination!
She turned towards me, and smiled a smile that looked almost like a smile, if one was not looking close enough- upon a closer inspection I safely concluded it was a smile.
"So, do you always sleep with your arms up in the air like a zombie?" she tilted her head slightly to the right in some sort of twisting fashion.
"Huh?" My mouth was left slightly agape.
"I'll take that as a no."
The next moment is one I will always look back on with pride,
"What happened to that girl? Is she okay?"
I remember every little detail on that nurse's face, mostly on that mole that was right on her left cheek, and the surprised look in her eyes.
"Shouldn't you be more concerned about yourself?" Her hand pointed towards my waist.
I remember slowly looking down, to see that my waist was completely fine- it's just that everything beneath that was gone.
"Oh by the way, her name is not on that list you just read." The nurse stood up and walked out of the room, pulling a really stupidly long stick from her pocket.
END OF CHAPTER 1.