Dylan stomped his way down the mountain, letting himself fall down a convenient waterfall, which caused him to take about points 60 damage, give or take some. It was hard to tell since the Status Screen was still under maintenance, but it’s not like Dylan needed it anyway. Dylan doesn’t need anyone.
Damage notwithstanding, the trip down the waterfall also washed off all the grime and dirt he had gathered during his Training Montage. He had some bitches to impress, so looking cleaner than usual was important.
“The NPC girls in this place better be gorgeous, or I’ll be cross.” He spoke aloud, hoping it’d get any reaction from… well, anything. Not having anyone around to talk to was boring. Which is why he wanted to get a harem in the first place. It wasn’t because he felt lonely or anything.
For a moment, the level 100 Highschool Student thought he had heard the distant growls of the Status Screen’s monotone voice, but he shrugged it off with a scowl.
In little less than five minutes, Dylan had already arrived to Batteri village. He snorted at the stupid name the village had, and kicked open the door that led into its humble Item Shop.
“Welcome, traveler! How can I help-wha?” The clerk blinked twice, looking at the extremely buff, soaked teenager that otherwise was extremely ordinary and un-noteworthy. And pretty much naked, except for some rags that remained from his previous highschool uniform before the swelling of his muscles ripped those. “Er… If you need gear to suit yourself on, t-the Armor Shop is next door.”
“I know that.” Dylan rolled his eyes and stared hard at the shopkeeper. “I need money for that, though. And you’re going to give it to me. Here, I’ve brought you this crap. How much Gold will it get me?”
Dylan brought out of his rag’s pockets, 100 Small Rocks, 50 Big Rocks, 80 Branches, 500 Rat Corpses, 10 Slime Cores, 6 pounds of Rat Excrement, and 10 more pounds of Excrement of Unknown Origin, and placed them on the shop’s counter. This last literal piece of shit was actually his own excrement, but he wasn’t going to tell the shopeeker THAT. It was his own little game-breaking exploit. He could produce countless of those for free, then sell them in the shops for easy free money! Or so he thought.
The clerk observed the surreal scene and, managing to say calm, brought a hand to his goatee and examined the dubious merchandise. He was a fairly old looking man, with a typical merchant-like moustache and a bit of a fat, round belly. His slightly pointed ears seemed to twitch in disgust as he averted his gaze from the adventurer’s ‘loot’.
“Hmm… I’ll give you 10 coins of silver for each Slime core, totaling in 100 Silver coins for all ten of them. I’ll also ask you to take all the other garbage away from my counter. Where were you carrying all that stuff, and why did you expect I’d want it, anyway?”
Dylan’s veins on his forehead popped out, and his eyes seemed to bulge out as he stared down to the shopkeeper.
“Are you trying to scam me, you trash tier NPC? You and I both know that’s not how this shit works. I bring you random stuff lying around, and you give me GOLD from it. And… you don’t need to know where I was carrying all of that.That’s for me to know, and for all else, to wonder. Now pay up, fuck-face. Gimme your Gold. Now.”
“With all due respect, sir, we do not trade gold in this establishment. Gold is a scarce metal around these lands and there isn’t enough of it to be used as currency. So we use silver, instead. Would that be an issue?” The shopkeeper tried to keep up the strained smile he was forcing himself to put up. He had dealt with troublesome customers in the past, but this was completely unlike anything else he’d faced in all his career as a merchant. Placing a bag full of silver coins on the counter, the old man silently prayed that his rather high Charisma attribute would be enough to spare him from any more shouting.
Dylan wouldn’t have any of it, though. “You think you’re smarter than me? What kind of trash RPG world doesn’t have Gold as its only type money? Multiple currency is an idiotic concept. It isn’t even realistic. Even the ‘Real’ world has only one valid kind of money, and that’s Dollars.” He made the $ sign with his hands, which the owner of the store didn’t quite understand.
“I don’t know what an RPG is, nor what a ‘Dollar’ is. I can also assure you that this world is certainly real. Now, if you please, I have a business to run, and I’ve already paid you for the slime cores. So move along now, and take away that,” he pointed to the pile of rocks, sticks and shit “with you, or I’ll call the guards.”
Dylan showed a wicked smile, knowing he had just earned a suitable target for his skill [Vengeful Spirit]. He took the money, and the slime cores, which he had not intended to part with anyways, and readied himself to assault the man, and leave.
However, something caught his attention, making him forget about the insolent merchant for a moment. The narration was about to shift perspectives and start talking from another person's point of view, and this profoundly angered Dylan.
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“[Vengeful Spirit]! Wahaha! Die!!” a thunderous yell had echoed across the hills. Immediately afterwards, the ground had shaken, and a loud BOOM shattered the eardrums of the villagers who happened to be outdoors at that moment.
Guild Master Duracell slowly removed his hands from his ears and looked at his surroundings. Everyone in the headquarters seemed frozen in place, restlessly glancing back at him, in a panic.
“Oh no! Are… are we under attack?” Sally , the receptionist, squeaked from her desk, her face growing as pale as the snow. “Wh-where are the Rank A parties? S-someone call for help!”
“Sir! Should I ring the alarm? I’ll rally my best men! S-set up a perimeter! They won’t take us alive!” Gladius, the overly hammy Captain of the village’s Guards, tried his best not to panic, as he stood up from the floor.
“Father! The time has come! Wait here and stay safe! I’ll drive away the Demon King and his army of undead and monsters! I’ll prove myself in this battle!” Renata, the Guild Master’s daugther grabbed her lance and rushed through the door.
She didn’t make it very far, though, since Duracell quickly grabbed her from one of the many belts her adventuring outfit had, and yanked her back into the Guild, closing the door at the same time as a second BOOM shook the world, shattering the windows of the building. “Haha! You’re no match for me!”
“Stay put, you! This is not the time for that!” Ignoring his daugther’s complaints, Duracell raised his tone, activating his [Commanding Voice] “Everyone, settle down! We still don’t know what we’re up against. Gladius, have your boys activate the magic shields and wards around the village’s walls. Send a squad of scouts to surveil the area and report to me in five minutes. Sally, issue an emergency [Quest] for the novices to escort the civilians into the shelter. Gather the veterans here to hear the report from the scouts.”
Gladius and Sally set to the task immediately, as Duracell’s skill helped them regain focus, temporarily removing their [Fear] and [Confusion] status.
“What about me, father? What should I do!” Renata demanded, eager to join into the action.
“You remain where you are and wait with me until we figure out what’s going on.” He sternly admonished him, disapproving her urge to get into harm’s way.
“B-but!” She puffed up her cheeks and whined as her father took the lance off her hands.
When the scouts arrived, a short while later, Renata was still pestering the Guild Master, trying to get her weapon back. “Ahem!” one of them cleared his throat, and the girl went quiet, something for which the remaining members of the guild silently thanked the heavens.
“Well, then.” Duracell waved at the scouts. “What is the situation out there?” Everyone in the room held their breaths, and readied themselves for the worst. While they knew an assault from the Demon King’s forces would come sooner or later, this was much earlier than expected. They were simply not ready to survive an attack like that.
“The noise came from the mountain. We’ve sighted some sort of hulking primate quickly descending from the territory of the Dire Rats as it decimated parts of the landscape with it’s bare fists. The waterfall is ruined, sir. Most likely, we face a new species of [Elite Monster]. It was headed towards the village. We expect it to arrive in roughly twenty minutes.”
“Hmm.” The Guild Master mused, recalling certain recent events. “The territory of the Dire Rats? That’s where we sent that one rescue party to look for the missing rookies. Do you think it could be related?”
The scout nodded, grimacing. “I believe so, sir! A rare breed of monster could have caught our trainees off-guard, defeated them, and leveled enough to [Rank Up]. Afterwards, it either lured our rescuers into the cave and ambushed them there, or approached them using some manner of stealth skill. And now, it hungers for our civilians. It likely sees us as easy pickings.”
“My goodness. And, if the voice we heard earlier belongs to that thing, it is capable of mimicking, or worse, understanding our language. We’re dealing with a cunning predator here.” Renata chimed in, earning a displeased glare from her parent at her butting into the conversation. Still, her observation was correct and it was certainly weighing on Duracell’s thoughts. The concerned leader took a seat, gears already turning in his mind to work on a countermeasure to this incoming threat.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
Relief gradually showed in everyone’s faces. A lone monster venturing out of it’s hunting grounds was a situation they could likely handle. It would still require careful planning and the arrangement of some elite hunting team.
Gladius twirled his big, manly moustache as he considered the possibilities. He stood up, and called for the Guild Master’s attention. “Sir Duracell! There is no time! The beast will arrive soon! Please allow me to lead the group that will hunt down this wretched, vile, murderous primate. We must beat it before it arrives to our gates- Eh?”
A hand was placed on the man’s shoulder pads from behind. As it closed into a fist, the shoulder pad folded along with a nasty CRUNCH sound.
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“Yo, who’re you calling a ‘primate’, bro?” Dylan gave a chilling smile as he pressed downwards, driving the scrapped piece of armor into the Captain’s shoulder, who shouted in terror, in a way that was in no way manly. Then Dylan kicked him in his brilliant shining Mythril Armor, denting it and and sending him through a wall. Then everything devolved into chaos.
Archers aimed their bows at him and fired, yet Dylan dodged everything with masterful evasion.The mages cast all sorts of magical projectiles at him, but they simply bounced back against his skin, and ricocheted back to the casters, crippling them faster than they could blink.
The scout, who had tossed down a table and barricaded behind of it next to the Guild Master, stammered, in disbelief. “H-how is it here already? At the pace it was running at, earlier, we should still have had at least fifteen minutes to prepare!”
A hand tore through the wood and grabbed the scout, lifting him up from the neck of his shirt. “You see, that’s where you’re wrong, fuck-face. When you saw me on the mountain, I was simply marching forward, calmly. I only started running when I heard you talking shit about me. I stopped a moment to do business at a shop, then you guys went and stole the spotlight from me. It was foolish of you! Now, die.” the highschool student cackled as he lifted the scout further up.
As he was going to smash him against the ground, He felt a soft impact land on him from behind.
You’ve been punched. -0 HP
“Let him go!” a brunette girl bravely stood up to him, nursing her now wounded hand with her free remaining one, shooting him a threatening glare with her green eyes. “Your opponent here is me, monster! Fight me like a man!” She pointed at him, issuing a [Honorable Challenge] at the violent young man.
You have been Challenged by Renata Duracell.
Dylan dropped the scout on the floor and turned to face the foolish girl. He eyed her up lustfully, his grin widening the more of her she saw. A good body, a pretty face, and a lot of spunk in her personality. Just how he liked them. “Oooh? Like a man, you saay…?”
“Renata, no!” Duracell cried out, fearing for his daugther’s life. “Get away from him!”
The young Knight was now holding her lance with both hands, trembling as Dylan stepped closer. “Hmmm… yes, you’ll do. Tell me, baby. You hang around here often?” He winked, seductively. Truly, he was the master of seduction.
“You won’t- E-eh…? W-what.” Renata thought she had misheard. Then she thought the buff, imposing, bloodstained male in front of her had attempted to glamour her with some sort of spell, and stood her ground. He winked again.
“Those foul tricks won’t work on me, you brute! Have at you! [Righteous Fury!] [Power Strike!] [Skewer!] ”
She thrust with her lance after activating three costly skills, praying it’d be enough to drive him away from the wounded adventurers and her father.
You’ve been attacked with a lance. -0 HP
You've gained the skill Piercing Impact Resistance.
Dylan laughed as multiple messages displayed to him that his 9999 Endurance stat had completely blocked the damage. All the lunges had accomplished was raise his resistances further.
Your Piercing Impact Resistance has become Level 5.
Looking down at the desperate girl, he took the lance away from her, tossed it to the ground.
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Renata felt the temptation to cower, to brace herself and close her eyes, expecting retaliation. But she clenched her jaws and kept her glare up, not backing an inch. She might be a foolish girl, but she was certainly not coward.
In her view, the Words of the World notified her that one of her stats had risen.This wasn’t all that unusual, actually. Though, the message she saw left her as baffled as she had been when Dylan had tried to flirt with her.
Your MNT stat has increased by 10.
You’re very brave, Renata. But really, now. For all you hold dear, try to play along to this moron’s nonsense and don’t antagonize him any further. A solution to this mess is being worked on. Please, try to pacify him for a couple of minutes. Buy me some time.
Did… did the words of the world just… plead to her? A goosebump ran through her back. Something was very off about this. Just who was this man...?
“What are you looking at.” Dylan demanded to know, frowning at the girl. “Are you admiring my biceps? Because, you should be.” He flexed in front of her. The poor girl blinked twice, at a loss for words.
“Uh… I… sure. I guess?” Somehow, her fear of this strange man was beginning to wane. Perhaps it was a direct result of her mental fortitude receiving a considerable boost a few moments ago. And instead of fear, annoyance was rising. She could take a wild guess of what Dylan wanted from her. And it made her shudder to consider it. “Look. Are you... Are you trying to court me?” She awkwardly took two steps backwards, to size him up, trying to prevent the cringe from showing on her face.
The boy made another ridiculous pose, flexed again and winked once more. “Yeah.” He said, with a completely serious face.
Everyone watching this exchange went wide-eyed. “What! There’s no way that-” Guild Master Duracell started to protest, livid. Renata interrupted him, before the boy could turn around to face her father.
“Dad! Shut up! I got this!” Then she took a moment to think of how to proceed. “W-well! If you want to go out with me, first you will stop terrorizing the villagers! Then, you will go take a shower and put on some clothes! T-then, we’ll see.”
He looked at her, and she looked back.
He growled. "You women are all the same. Always with idiotic requests and rules. 'Please don't kill my father', 'please wear clothes when we go out'. 'Please let me talk with other people'. " He put on a high-pitched voice and imitated Renata's voice, mockingly. Then he went back to his usual tone of voice and spat on the floor. "Pah! As if you could tell me what to do! ...You're lucky you're hot." His voice turned suspiciously suave. Was this the result of a... high charisma stat? She grimaced.
The filthy, hulking highschool student looked at Renata lecherously, and sniffed at her as he moved closer. She prayed that this farce would be enough to buy the Words of the World enough time to stop him. If they couldn't... She didn't even want to think what would happen to her next...!
(Renata, I'm back. I want you to wink at him. Don't ask, just do it. Please. ....Sorry.)
Even more enigmatic input from the Words of the World. Renata had always imagined whomever was behind these messages was someone important and powerful. Which is why, to see apologetic messages from them like these felt bizarre. Reluctantly, she did as she was told and winked at Dylan.
And then, the boy's eyes twinkled and he blushed a little.
You've gained the skill Seduction.
You've been granted a Title: Femme Fatale. The effect of your Charm stat is tripled when interacting with males. Your CHA stat has raised by 20.
Renata took a minute to wrap her head around these notifications.
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Dylan stopped on his tracks when he was about to pounce on the girl when a blue screen blocked his view.
"I fucking hate it when invasive pop ups get in the way of watching porn! And this is even worse! Don't cockblock me, System!"
You have a timed quest: Fulfill Renata's conditions.
1 - Do not engage in combat with the villagers until the quest's deadline. 2 - Take a shower 3 - Put on clean clothes.
Time limit: 14 minutes 59 seconds.
Reward: Renata Duracell becomes the first member of your harem.
"...Wait a minute. This is...!" Dylan almost choked. He darted into one of the doors of the Guild's headquarters. Then, out of it and into another as he looked for the bathroom desperately. All of this took place while everyone else stood in place, tense, afraid of getting on his way as he tackled each closed door open.
A last, he found a shower, and hurried to clean off the grime off his body. Like a sparklig, naked lightning, he dashed out of the Guild and broke into a nearby shop.
He came out of it wearing the finest, fanciest clothes, looking quite dapper as the shopkeeper ran after him, outraged at the theft of his wares.
Dylan sneered and ignored the fool, while yelling "Quests!"
Fulfill Renata's Conditions:
All requirements met. Quest complete.
Renata Duracell is now part of your harem. 1/6 Harem Slots filled.
Congratulations! You have unlocked the secondary class Pimp.
"Nice." Dylan nodded to himself, sagely. His smirk widened as he walkd back into the Guild, where Renata sat on a chair, gazing in disbelief into a system message of her own.
"T-this... has to be a joke...R-right? RIGHT?!" She whined as yet another timid system message containing apologies popped up in front of her. "No way..."