He awakened in a cave. It was pitch black dark in there.Cursing in confusion, Dylan slowly stood up, checking on his body almost immediately. He distinctly recalled being blown up to pieces, but slowly rubbing his biceps, chest and pelvis while shrouded in total darkness, made him realize that not only he was back to normal without a single scratch on him, but his already previously buff muscles had become even buffer.
The perfect recollection of his grisly death did not cause any sort of discomfort or trauma on the recently recovered mind of the young man.
“I feel better than ever! Take that, death!” he roared, his cackling echoing through the cave as he resumed rubbing his well toned muscles all over.
It was good that it was all in perfect darkness and nobody was watching, because this self-fondling would be completely gay otherwise. And he would never allow such a thing to be said, or thought about him.
If anyone were to witness him checking out his own attractive body, he’d have to kill them to make sure his honor as a straight male was preserved.
“Anyways, where is this?” Dylan asked aloud, trying to inspect his surroundings.
The cave was so dark that not a single photon could exist in it, rendering any living being inside incapable of seeing. There were no other noises hinting at the nature of the place. Dylan wasn’t impeded, though.
“I see! So I am in a cave, huh? Interesting. That must mean I’ve revived in a fantasy world! It’s like one of those adventure videogames I don’t play!” He concluded.
It was sort of a nonsensical leap to conclusions on his part, but nevertheless he was right.
Bumping against things like walls and rocks was beneath him, so he simply chose not to. He walked forward confidently and found the exit on the first try. However, a giant rat stood on his way!
“A monster encounter!” Dylan squealed, excited at the prospect of fighting and killing oversized animals. He stopped and stood for a few minutes, remembering that one time he took a flight to Australia to spend the summer punching large spiders.Those were good times. He then remembered that one time where he punched a bear, and then the bear punched back, but he was too tough to even notice it.
Dylan spent a while longer standing in place while posing dramatically and having flashbacks of his past on Earth because he was keenly aware that it was his turn, and in typical videogame fashion, the rat would be unable to attack until he performed an action.
Of course, the rat grew mildly confused about the ominously looking Dylan standing in the way, and looking menacing but not doing absolutely anything other than nodding and talking to himself.
When the rat got tired of waiting, it moved up to Dylan’s legs and bit him on the knee while hurrying back to it’s nest, inside the cave.
Dylan was shocked by the sudden action of the rat, which defied his prediction, and also, by the blue box popping in front of his eyes to remind him of the obvious.
You were bitten by a Dire Rat because you were spacing out. HP-5
But most of all, Dylan was shocked because having a large rodent’s tooth pierce into his knee, was painful! Of course, it didn’t pierce too deeply because of Dylan’s hardened skin. An attack that would have crushed a low quality armor only dealt a minor flesh wound to the anguished Dylan, who nonetheless was yelling and crying his eyes out while he rolled on the floor, grasping his barely wounded leg.
“Aaaaahhh! Fuck, fuuuck, that huuurt! What the hell! That rat fucking cheated! Scumbag didn’t even wait for it’s turn. I… I’ll have my revenge!” He wiped out his manly tears and snot from his face and stood up, still limping at the pain in his knee.
Dusting off his clothes, he turned back to face the dark cave into which the Dire Rat had crawled into. “...Heh. It didn’t even hurt. What a weak bite.” He taunted into the darkness.
Dylan could hear the sound of the rat rolling its eyes in exasperation, and this only made him angrier. “How dare you ignore me, rat!” He ran back into the darkness, raising his fist, and throwing a devastating punch forward.
You punched a wall and wrecked your fingers. Idiot. HP-2
“Shut up, you cunt! Go away!” Dylan groaned and waved away the embarrassing damage notification with the other hand, while the one he used to punch seemed to have lodged itself into the rock.
A few minutes later, his mangled fist was freed from the rocky cave’s wall. “No matter. That wasn’t my strong arm, anyways. I can kill that dumb rat with a single arm, just you watch.” He gritted his teeth and mumbled some more incoherent curses and whines.
This time, he actually bothered to find the rat before striking at it with his remaining hand. The Dire Rat was caught off-guard, even though it had seen the boy coming at it all the way from the entrance. It was just incapable of comprehending how a completely ordinary teenage human could devastate it with a simple blow. With a loud squeak, the rodent was propelled backwards and crashed against a wall, twitching for a few moments before flopping to the ground and dying.
Dire Rat has been slain. +10 Experience points.
“Hah! Hahahahahah! Take thaaaat! DYLAN WINS!” He yelled, and then, he proceeded to perform a completely fabulous victory dance while humming to himself some catchy victory tune. It was good he had returned to the darkness of the cave for this, otherwise, he’d have risked being caught dancing. After all, Dylan was a stern and serious young man with no time for frivolous actions. He had an image to maintain. Therefore, he got his serious face on and gradually slowed down his dance until the catchy tune finished playing on his head.
Winning always made Dylan feel great. It was a reminder of how powerful he was. But a sudden thought broke his good mood. The rat had died on the spot, sure, but it had merely been sent flying into a wall. If he compared it to how his killer had made him explode in the previous chapter, it became evident this was nothing to brag about.
“Wait! Wait just a fucking second! Why didn’t the stinky rat blow up in pieces like I did when I got punched?! IT SHOULD HAVE FUCKING EXPLODED!” He got red-faced as his scream echoed through the empty cave.
Dylan’s words seemed to trigger some sort of response, for the accursed blue box came back into vision.
Do you wish to unlock the skill [Explosive Punch]? Cost: 100 Skill Points
“NOW you show up? I needed this just a moment ago, you useless shit! Duh, of course I want to… Wait no. Hell no! What the fuck do you mean I should unlock it? WHY isn’t it already unlocked by default! I demand an apology! That skill belongs to me for free!”
Dylan tried to punch the blue box, to punish it for it’s insolence. He had killed people for less than this. And he’d do it again.
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
However, the Skill Box seemed to be intangible, and his killer fisting technique went through it, slamming once again against the already seriously damaged wall. Immediately, the initial box disappeared, and two more popped up.
You have enthusiastically refused the ‘Explosive Punch’ skill. It has been permanently removed from the list of Skills available to you. Are you happy now?
You punched the wall again and wrecked the rest of your fingers. Un-broken hands remaining: 0. Good job! HP-2
Terrible yells and very, very mean insults could be heard coming from outside the cave, making all the fauna and flora surrounding it simultaneously soil themselves.
“I’ll fucking kill you! Stop avoiding my attacks with cheats and fight me like a man!” Dylan demanded, spitting in the direction of the floating box, and missing once more.
Do you wish to unlock the trait [Non-Defective Brain]? Cost: 1 Skill Point
He stopped his aggression to briefly consider this offer, but almost immediately, he shrugged dismissively. “...Bah. What for? I probably already own several of those.”
Dylan certainly didn’t regret skipping his anatomy class to barge into other classrooms to pick fights in order to impress the girls.
...
Your INT stat has decreased by 1.
The INT stat cannot go below 0, so it stays the same. Lucky you.
“Did you just insult my intelligence, you useless thing?! ...Oh shit, that’s right! What are my stats? STATUS!”
Dylan’s shout opened a much larger window full of… disappointing information.
Name
Dylan Sue Species
Human Job
Normal Highschool Student Sex
MAN Age 15 years old Level 1 HP 6/15 MP 0/0 STR
50 DEX
20 AGI 20 END 20 INT 0 WIS 0 MNT 2 CHA 1 PER 2 FTH 100 LUK 100
Dylan blinked, closed the screen and then tried again. “STATUS. And get it right this time.”
He viewed the same screen as earlier. “Hey, this is not funny! These stats are too low! I want these stats re-calculated. I won’t accept anything less than a thousand points in every stat, and at least a million in Strength!”
Yet, no matter how much he begged,threatened, bargained or head-butted the status window, the values didn’t change. “You can’t do this to me, you hear! You’ll regret this, mark my words!”
You have spent too much time screaming at your own menus, taking psychological damage in the process. HP-3
“Ghhh, dammit! This is all your fault, Rat!” The irate boy started kicking the carcass of the Dire Rat he had just killed.
“...Haahh… I feel better now. Whatever. I don’t need stats to win. I’ll just use my skills instead! I bet I have plenty! SKILL LIST!”
Vengeful Spirit
Level 1 0%
Karma Houdini
Level 1(MAX) 100%
Plot Armor
Level 1(MAX) 100%
He immediately closed the screen and started kicking the rat again.
“I can’t believe this. Who is in charge of assigning skills in this world? Let me meet him already. I promise I won’t harm him nor his family.” Dylan lied.
All the reply he got was the appearance of three more blue boxes describing each of the skills.
Vengeful Spirit
Boosts all stats a set amount when the user acts with the specific intent to inflict payback on a target or a group of targets. The duration and intensity of the stat boost increase with each level of the skill.
Karma Houdini:
Unique Passive skill. All of the skill’s owner’s actions have a 80% chance of not backfiring or having any important negative consequences against the owner. Any mistake the owner commits has a 50% chance of turning out to be the right thing to do all along, yielding extremely favorable outcomes. The probabilities of success are further enhanced by the LUK stat.
Plot Armor
Unique Passive Skill. The long-term and short-term well-being of the skill’s owner is guaranteed. Causality will bend to to ensure no serious harm comes to the owner.
“These are just not good enough. How could anyone stand for having something of this level? Weak! Shamefully weak! I’d laugh at anyone who held a single skill weaker than these. And now, people will look down on me if they know about this! And then I’ll kill them and IT’LL BE YOUR FAULT! YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS!”
Dylan started going on a rant about the unfair treatment the System was subjecting to. What had he done to deserve skills like this? He had nothing flashy to impress the ladies, and nothing that would immediately facilitate instant genocide. This clearly would not do, for wooing the women and massacring his enemies was all Dylan really wanted in life. Well, that and ruling over the world, but that was more of a long-term goal, along with getting back at his treacherous ex, and at that hateful truck driver. And skills like these weren’t going to cut it.
“Menu! Skills can level up and be upgraded, right? Tell me how to upgrade Plot Armor! It’s not Unique enough for me. All protagonists have Plot Armor, and I am no mere, average protagonist. I am one step beyond that, and all my skills need to reflect that fact!”
Dylan was already preparing his feet to kick the dead rat once again, but his demands were surprisingly met this time.
Upgraded Plot Armor - Requirements (They must be accomplished in order):
1- Reach Level 100 in at least one combat oriented Job. 2- Obtain, upgrade and raise to max Level at least 10 Legendary Skills 3-Defeat a foe that is Equal or Greater than you, in terms of Raw Power. 4-????? 5-????? 6-?????
The young man scoffed at the notification.
“Pffft. Is that it? Hah, piece of cake.I’ll have all those things done in no time. I don’t even care what the question marks mean, I’ll still do it!” He declared without a tinge of hesitation.
And as such, rather than exploring this new exciting world, meet the locals, learn the culture, assist in defending the villagers from the assault of the Demon Lord or find something to eat or drink to stave off death by starvation, he decided to stay in the cave and train until he reached Level 100 in Normal Highschool Student, which was, with absolute certainty, the most powerful combat oriented Job in existence.