"Today, it is with unfathomable sadness, that I've called you all here to remember the lives and memory of two members of our student body that have passed on before us.” Said the voice of our school’s principal, Mrs. Temple.

It had been about four days since the incident at Damien’s house, and our first day back to school at North Shasta High.

“Jessica and David's time on this Earth was far too short and I cannot even begin to express the proper amount of grief at their departure.” Mrs. Temple continued.

The police and other emergency services had flooded the once large seeming cul-de-sac Damien lived at. Ambulances, police cars, and eventually even news vans. Thankfully most of the other students and their vehicles had fled at the start of the event, otherwise, I doubt there would have been space for even half of the vehicles that showed up to respond.

“Each of them has left an indelible mark on both our hearts and our lives. Now and into the future."

True to what the blue boxes had told me, no one else had died besides…besides David and Jessica.

"The stories of their lives and the impact they had on all of us remind me of a poem. The poem is called 'The Life That I Have', written by the great writer and cryptographer Leo Mark.”

My actions on that day last week had saved so many lives, but I just couldn’t feel good about it.

Not while I was sitting in this huge assembly of other students and teachers, all of us looking down at the principal who was standing between two large blown-up images of the people I wasn't able to save.

We were all crowded into the school's gym, and the faculty had set up a small podium surrounded by decorations appropriate for a memorial service. There were some flowers, candles, and other handmade tokens gifted by the students and others. Each was placed beneath the large pictures that had been set on two easel stands.

“The life that I have..." Principal Temple had begun to recite the poem in her usual calm and professional tone of voice. But it was clear, even for those who didn’t know her well, how much she was holding back the emotions she was feeling at this moment.

Many of the people in attendance here didn’t bother trying. Many sounds of crying and sniffling could be heard throughout the crowd of a thousand-odd people sitting here.

Truthfully I was close to joining them, but I just couldn’t…express those feelings. I wasn’t their close friend, and more than that, I wasn’t able to save them. I didn’t deserve to be able to cry for them, I wasn’t allowed to have that catharsis of crying and being comforted over them. Those feelings and that privilege belonged to their friends and those who hadn’t let them down.

"...Will be yours and yours and yours.” Principal Temple concluded her poem before pausing to take a drink of water.

It was hard though, I really felt uncomfortable sitting here with everyone else. I could feel the emotions building up inside, and the urge to let loose my own tears and feelings of guilt was almost too hard to hold back.

As I looked down at my lap, with my hands clenching up tightly in response to my repressed emotions, I felt an arm wrap around me and pull me into a tight one-armed hug.

It was Beth sitting beside me who had done it. She must have picked up on the feelings I was trying so hard not to let out.

I looked at her, moisture visible in the corners of both our eyes.

“David Nguyen was an honors student and a friend to many of his peers. He excelled in the sciences and dreamed of one day becoming a doctor, just like his father.” Mrs. Temple continued with her eulogy, now providing highlights into the lives of the two people no longer with us.

I actually knew David fairly well, even if we weren’t technically friends. He was one of the few in our grade who would ever beat me on test scores. It wasn’t always the case, and it only ever happened in biology or chemistry, but we kinda became unofficial rivals to each other in those classes.

Though I suppose that doesn’t matter anymore. More feelings of guilt and unearned loss welled up in my heart.

A new hand was placed awkwardly on my knee. This time it was Scott who was sitting on my other side. He had a cast on his bandaged-up left arm, the one closest to me, so he had to reach across himself with his right to place a comforting hand on my knee.

I smiled at him in an expression of gratitude, but seeing him still injured like this only made me feel worse.

He had been taken in an ambulance straight to a hospital from the attack. He was released yesterday, and it was only with a great deal of arguing that his parents let him come to school today.

“David will be missed and can never be replaced.”

I placed one of my hands on each of my friend's hands and silently mouthed a ‘thank you’ to them.

There was still a lot I had to talk about with them and there was more than a little bit of tense awkwardness between us.

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This morning's assembly was the first time all three of us were together in one place and away from our families.

“Jessica Anderson was a model student, a cheerleader, and a volunteer at a number of different animal rescue clinics. She was also the comforting light in the lives of her friends and so many others.”

I hardly knew Jessica other than as a member of Jackie’s group of friends. Truthfully, if you asked me a week or so ago, I would probably have said some rather nasty things about Jessica and her association with Jackie.

But now it just seemed all so petty and small.

My friends and I had never gotten along with Jackie and her crew. I’m not sure exactly how it started, but both sides seemed intent on perpetuating it throughout our time at school.

Now though, Jackie had lost one of her closest friends, and she almost lost another with Letitia.

These thoughts forced me to consider how I would be feeling if I lost one of my dearest friends, like one of the ones currently trying to comfort me.

I couldn’t imagine being able to bear it.

“Jessica will be missed and can never be replaced.”

Principal Temple paused to look down at her notes, it looked like she was either nearing the end of her speech or her ability to maintain the professional facade she was trying to put up.

“My words may feel hollow to those of you who knew them better, but my whole being ached for their loss and the pain their friends and loved ones must now endure. To them, I say, we are with you, today and always. My job may be that of a principal, but I promise to look after your needs and well-being in this as a family member would.”

The incident at the party had driven a wedge of discord into my own family. After I was finally allowed to leave the scene and return home, my parents immediately got into a fight about what had happened.

As my Dad had promised, he came clean about knowing my whereabouts that night and for allowing me to go despite my mother's earlier refusal.

My mother was outraged, I rarely saw her that mad, and never at my Dad.

Her anger seemed to be not just about going behind her back, but also about keeping things from her.

She also kept reminding him and me over and over that if we just had listened to what she had said, my life would never have been endangered.

Consequently, Dad has been sleeping on the living couch since the incident.

“If you need time off, no questions will be asked. If you ever need someone to talk to, my door is always open. Myself and the other teachers and faculty will do our utmost to help you all through this difficult time. With that, everyone is encouraged to return to the normal afternoon classes at this time. Again if anyone needs to talk with someone don’t be afraid of taking the opportunity now or in the future”

With that, the teachers and other faculty got up and started directing everyone to leave the gymnasium.

My friends and I also got up and joined the less energetic than normal crowd as we returned to each of our classes.

Scott, Beth, and I reluctantly parted ways in the hall to go to our different classrooms.

I normally had Biology at this time, so that was where I slowly made my way to, lost in thoughts of the bizarre incident and the lives it took from us.

****************************************************

Sitting down at my desk near the middle of the room and by the window, I couldn’t help but notice the most obvious absence in the class. The desk where David used to sit, a few seats in front of me and one to the left, was now and would continue to be empty.

I felt another pang in my heart at that realization, I tried to put the thought out of my mind and distract myself with whatever we might be learning today.

Eventually, the rest of the students that were going to be attending class today, made their way to their seats, and Mrs. Albrecht started class.

I did my best to pay attention to what she was saying, but I was finding it difficult today. Ordinarily, focusing on, and taking notes of everything the teacher said was a simple everyday task for me. Today though, after everything that had happened, I was finding it to be unusually challenging.

My struggle wasn’t helped by the other students whispering and gossiping about what had happened, especially those who weren’t even there.

“I heard a girl from our class took on a wolf one on one with her bare hands.” One nearby voice whispered.”

“It was Jenni, I was there and I saw it myself.” This voice I knew well, it was Luke. Fricking Luke.

I wanted to turn around and glare at him and say ‘You only came in at the end, you didn’t see a fricking thing.’

But I both didn’t want to fuel the gossip, and I didn’t want to get in trouble for talking during Mrs. Albrecht’s lecture.

Mrs. Albrecht eventually handed out the quiz that I had predicted last week. I quickly breezed through it and was left waiting for the rest of the class to finish while I checked over my answers.

As I did this another fricking blue box popped up in front of me.

Skills Updated.

I glared at the stupid thing. This little message had been popping up off and on since the party had taken place last Thursday.

I still hadn’t looked too much into what it meant. My reason was a mixture of denial and wanting to focus on the more normal things in life.

Couldn’t it give me a moment's peace away from whatever craziness it represented?

As that thought crossed my mind, the school pa system crackled on.

“Miss Morrow, please report to the principal’s office at once. Miss Morrow, please report to the principal’s office at once.

I guess a moment of peace was asking too much after all.

A chorus of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ began as I started to collect my things

“I bet she's in trouble.” One girl guessed.

“No way, they probably want to give her a reward or something.” Another boy insisted.

“For shooting a gun at a party? Seriously?” A different boy added.

Doing my best to ignore the bickering and gossip, I got up and made my way to the front of the classroom where Mrs. Albrecht gave me a small smile and nod of approval.

Taking that as an okay to leave, I did so, closing the door softly behind me.

“Now what?” I muttered.