CHAPTER 19

Kavi's POV

Can you be happy and sad at the same time?

Yes, here I am!

Logan and Surya have found their mates the day after the war and they were glued to each other.

Madhu and Vibha were friends from childhood and they belong to Crimson Moon pack who happened

to meet Logan and Surya in a pack festival. Madhu is Logan's mate; Vibha is Surya's mate. These two

females were so sweet but possessive at the same time.

The females were too fast to apply for transfer. They met each other parents and everyone was so

happy. My friend and little cousin had found their other half and they are going to live their life happily.

Surya privately apologised for his earlier behaviour and also stated how he and his wolf was so much

in love with Vibha and her wolf. But his wolf and he still feel protective of me and we feel bonded in

some way. His mate understood about it without much drama but I could sense a hint of

possessiveness in her eyes whenever Surya talk to me. I noticed Logan's orange scent mixed with

strawberries and noticed his mark on Madhu's neck. The way they look at each other with so much

love makes me very happy. Surya being new to this, he is taking their relationship slow.

And my mom was staying home as much as possible and she was trying to compensate all these years

by giving more attention to me. But I asked her to behave normally after a day and she agreed. I can't

act all the time being happy when deep down the mate bond was torturing me. Though her love makes

me feel better for my sore mood caused by my mate.

Days were passing too quick but I had frozen without moving forward in my life. In two days, my mate

getting engaged to Pooja and in three week time, they planned to get married. Even though I try to be

strong, I couldn't keep myself together. I got a mail to be present at the council tomorrow. And as I

planned I spoke with Sezhiyan before five days. I still remember the event clearly.

^ Flashback ^

After the trip with Dhaya, I finished my training and mind linked Sezhiyan that I want to meet him. He

asked me to come to his office.

"What is that you want to talk to me, Kavi?"

He asked me with a frown and concern.

"Alpha, I knew your love for me. And I promised myself to tell you everything about me. But yesterday, I

didn't disclose my complete detail. And I didn't want to keep any more secrecy from you but this is

about my personal life. So I thought it was enough to tell you to avoid unnecessary conflicts. But I want

you to keep this as a secret. Because I decided about my life and I want you to respect my decision."

He looked at me calculatively and extended his hand to promise. Our palms met and he promised to

keep it as a secret and he won't even disclose it to his mate. I smiled in gratitude and pulled my

moonstone pendant over my t-shirt.

"After my grand parent's death, that witch was so grateful for them to give their own lives to save her.

So Zarina offered to give me whatever I want within her power. From the memories that Grandpa has

given me, I found many males not respecting the value of their mates. My mom's mate raped her and

another male whom she trusted had tried to take advantage over her, even while his mate was also

alive.

I have noticed the mates rejecting each other for silly reasons. So I asked her to break the bond I have

within me to my mate. She denied it and told she could not do some sinful thing like that. Then I asked

her to give me something which would hide my bond and I could make my mate feel the bond if I didn't

have that thing. She was conflicted and afraid as she didn't want to do the sin of separating the mates.

However, she gave me this moonstone pendant and told that my mate wouldn't recognise me till this

pendant was with me but a simple touch would make him recognise me and I should keep my physical

distance with him.

Her idea is wolves won't keep distance after finding their mate, but she has no idea how stubborn I am.

I found that the idea isn't bad. So I accepted this pendant from Zarina."

I paused on seeing him getting angry.

"Are you out of mind, Kavi. What kind of crazy game is this? First, remove that thing from you. Mates

are blessings, Kavi. You shouldn't do this. Remove it, now."

He yelled at me. But I could see how much he was concerned about me. I smiled sadly at him.

"Remember the promise, Sezhiyan. My mate is in our pack. I met him before two years at a rogue

tournament. He came there with our Logan. My wolf wanted him instantly and I felt our bond getting

alive. But he didn't recognise me. I wanted to know about him. But things happened and I kept the

secret within me. After the war, I decided to tell him everything and to apologise for keeping him away

all these days. My unfortunate time, he was in a hurry. He decided to go for another she-wolf. Yeah,

Akhilan is my mate. But he is no different from my mom's mate. So please don't tell anyone about it.

Let's see what destiny has for me."

There was a lot of emotions from Sezhiyan. He inhaled a deep breath with shock at first when I said

that my mate belongs to our pack. His eyes showed recognition when I described him. He looked at me

in pure torture when I confirmed his doubt and compare him to my mom's mate.

"He had waited for you a very long time, Kavi. He had agreed on this arrangement only because of his

mother's pressure. Tell him the truth, Kavi. I want you both to be happy."

He asked me almost in requesting tone. I nodded my head no.

"If he really wants to be with me, he would have made his parents understand how important his mate

is for him, Sezhiyan. They are werewolves too. And they are mates. So they would understand if he

stood stubborn. But he didn't. He didn't fight for me. He gave up so easily. I am too easy for him to give

up."

I sighed and continued.

"If he could replace another she-wolf for his mate, how do I expect his loyalty to me? I can't trust him,

Sezhiyan. His every action would make me suspect him. We can't live a normal life. It was rather better

to live alone, Sezhiyan. All I want is a peaceful life. Please understand me. I knew you think of me as

your daughter. Would you want your daughter to live a life with someone who didn't wait for his mate

and had agreed to marry another she-wolf?"

I spoke without hiding any of my emotions. He sighed in frustration.

"You said you are feeling the bond alive. So you will feel when they mate. It's pure torture, Kavi. And

you could never get the life that could be only possible with one's mate. I can't even imagine replacing

Mithra with someone else. How are you going to live the rest of your life? How was your wolf reacting?"

He asked with concern.

"Yes! I will feel them. I need to see if it is possible to break our bond. Or I have to go somewhere else to

stay. As you said I can't think of any other male. My wolf blocked me for a day. But she was always so

supportive and understood the reality with maturity. But I knew she had a secret hope that her mate

would come back to her. But the truth can't be denied!"

I said to him with an exhausted sigh. He nodded his head.

"I respect your decision, Kavi. But please reconsider it for me! All I want is a happy life for you. He is a

good man. He would give you a great life."

I smiled at him and bid bye to him and walked out thinking whether is it even necessary to reconsider

my decision. I wasn't watching my steps and almost ran into Akhilan. I was breathless and my wolf

made me take as much as his scent possible. And it was doing so many chemical reactions in me.

"Sorry! I didn't see you coming!"

I tried to walk past him. But he stopped me blocking the way by extending his hand. He has a look of

concern.

"Why are you walking like a dead person? I thought you would be back to cheerful Kavi after reuniting

with your mom. But you are looking worse than before! Do you want anything?"

He asked me with a frown.

"You"

My mouth got its own brain and I said it before I could realise. I coughed hard covering as if I didn't

complete the sentence.

"You didn't know anything about me! And I am happier than ever because I gained my mother's love

again. You stop worrying about me and concentrate on your fiancee."

My mouth was bitter after speaking to him like that. I could tell he was about to deny my words from his

body language but the screeching voice of Pooja interrupted us.

"Oh my sugar cup, I need a favour from you. Come and help me to select our engagement dress.

Eww... Why are you talking to this bitch? I don't want my mate to speak with such a whore!"

My wolf came took control to my surprise and she made me take a threatening step towards Pooja. I

knew my eyes were shining silver.

"Keep that dirty mouth to yourself. I don't have any restrictions from my human anymore. I won't

hesitate even once to tear you limb by limb. If you haven't seen me tearing my mom's mate like that,

ask him."

I realised my wolf was softening her eyes at his mention. So I took the control back. She was looking at

me in pure horror. If she has so much fear, why was she behaving like a bitch?

I palmed my forehead and walked past them. But I could feel his gaze following me.

^ End of the flashback ^

Akhilan tried to talk to me in the past four days whenever he was away from his fiancee or his mother,

but I avoided him at all costs. Everyone started asking me why I was dull. I was trying my best to act

normal but I couldn't help but go into a sad mood whenever I was alone. And the sleeplessness was

evident with my dark circles and no cosmetics was enough to hide the redness in my eyes. I was going

to my teddy's spot daily at the time of Sunset. I would lie there in my wolf form for hours. If only my

teddy was my mate, I would be the happiest person in this world. But I can't question Moon god.

Once my mom took me to hunt in our wolf form. Her wolf showered me with her love. Mukilan and

Dhaya were busy with pack works because Sezhiyan had planned to step down in a few months and

being Logan found his mate, these two were doing the works of him.

I started feeling pretty lonely though I knew everyone cares about me. Even at this busy schedule,

everyone showed their love for me by constantly looking after me whenever they could. I started using

my bike because Surya's mate goes to the same college as us. He would behave usually inside the

class but the time we had together had considerably reduced. Also, I don't want to be the fifth wheel.

And I won't deny the burning jealous within me on seeing my mate with Pooja. I just wanted to go far

away from here!

After today's college, Alpha asked me to meet him immediately. I went to the office and found Vijayan,

Beta of Blood warriors pack and Luna Shrini there. I gave the two a nod as a courtesy and smiled at

Iniyan. Iniyan jumped on me and hugged me tightly. I quickly connected to him and healed his one-

week-old bruises. He gasped then giggled.

"Hey buddy, did you grow big in seven days?"

I asked him happily. Iniyan looks a bit healthy than last time.

"Hey, Kavi! Yes. Daddy and meanie Ilamaran were not at home. So Mommy feed me well but she saw

all my wounds."

He whispered to me like he was telling secrets but I could tell everyone heard it with their supernatural

hearing.

"Is it so? Now show Mommy you are okay now."

I whispered back. His eyes lit up and he ran lifting his shirt and proudly presented his flawless skin.

Luna looked at me with gratitude and walked up to me.

"Iniyan, go out and play with other kids. Mommy will call you back after this meeting. Be a good boy.

Okay?"

He nodded and went out excitedly.

She stroked my head in a motherly way and looked at Sezhiyan. He nodded his head and stood up.

"They wanted to speak to you, princess. I am going to check with my mate. Tell me when you are

done."

He walked out leaving me in confusion.

"Tell me, Luna, how can I help you?"

I seated myself next to them.

"Hello, Alpha! I'm Vijayan, Blood warriors Beta. We are here to ask for your help."

I looked at him with wide eyes. Luna kept her hand on my shoulder and smiled at me.

"When I was seventeen, a group of rogues attacked our pack. They cunningly killed Alpha and Beta's

family. I'm the daughter of third in command. They killed my parents too. But we managed to eliminate

the rogues with the help of neighbouring pack's troops. I was so afraid of the responsibilities and the

threat hanging over us. I inherited the Alpha powers because of the hierarchy.

One evening when I was in my wolf form and running across the territory, pack's head warriors tried to

rape me. Krishan, a warrior from Black Lake pack, saved me and being so naive, I spilt everything to

him and cried on his shoulder. I didn't know he was a power-hungry person but he was a good person

to some extent. He took care of me so well. He announced that he was my mate and asked me to mark

him. As the top rank people died, I have no one to consult and I trusted him. And for the wellness of the

pack, I sacrificed my life with my mate and marked him as my mate. Because without a proper Alpha,

there would be lots of threats for me and my pack. I never happened to meet my destined mate though.

He trained everyone very hard and made us fearless with the strong army. He never involved me in the

administration of the pack. He ran it in his desire. But as an Alpha, he did a good job. He was frustrated

when I have gone into heat and I allowed him to mate with me. Ilamaran was born. He treated me well

and I was satisfied with that. Then after a few years, we got Iniyan. We loved Iniyan very much.

But when he didn't shift, things started getting hectic. Everyone started treating him differently. But I

failed as a mother because I didn't even notice my baby's struggle for the past four years. They

distanced me from Iniyan telling he needs the training to shift as his wolf and I agreed to make Iniyan

happy. I never knew Krishnan cheated on me and did such horrible thing to his destined mate until you

said them in that fight.

Ilamaran was always so bossy and tries to imitate his father. He strongly believed in mates and now he

was broken and feeling that all his life was a lie. He despises his father now. Ilamaran's commands

were never as strong as his father's. Now I knew the reason. Because of you the rightful heir of our

pack. That's why your command made all the wolf submit and they returned at the war. Now the Pack

needs you, Kavi. The pack is like a headless person now. Vijayan and I are managing for now. But we

need our leader. We need you to claim what is rightfully yours. You are born to lead us.

We knew this is too much. But you can't deny that you are our Alpha. And the pack need its Alpha now.

Think about it and make a good decision soon, dear."

She explained to me everything in a calm manner making my head spin.

What? Am I the rightful Alpha? Oh my Moon! I am his first child. So his Alpha qualities would have

been in my blood. Is that why I could beat him?

Luna and Beta stood up at my silence and left me there thinking. After a few minutes, Sezhiyan came

in and sat next to me.

"If you are going to let your mate go, at least accept this leadership. Your wolf knew how to lead them.

And this is one good opportunity as you asked. The distance would keep the bond less active. Over a Exclusive © material by Nô(/v)elDrama.Org.

period of time, you might get a chance with the other one. You can't live alone all your life. Everyone

needs someone to hold on. To love and to hold us when no one was there. Mates usually do that. But...

ARGH! Why you are complicating your life Kavi?"

He held my hand and his talk started in soft tone but ended in frustration.

"The chapter of my mate was closed, Sezhiyan. Even if he comes back, I don't think I can accept him.

He wasn't only breaking my heart but also he was participating in breaking the heart of Pooja's Mate.

Leave that! I didn't even grow up like a normal girl. I don't know anything about this Alpha thing. I need

time to think."

I walked out of his office and found Luna Shrini speaking to my mom. It seems like they are okay at

each other presence. After all, they both were betrayed by the same person. And also I learnt shocking

news that they had planned to visit the council to meet Krishnan and Ilamaran. I don't know whether

they are going to confront him but I could tell both of them cares for him. Stupid mate bond!

I need to prepare myself before meeting the council members. Let's see what happens there!

[To be continued...]