My life has been a life filled with sorrow, trouble and misfortune. Nothing I did or set my mind on, ever worked. I remember even back in primary school, I was a kid that when people want to mock others, they would use my name as a curse word. I was always crying because of that, and what made it worse was that, I never experienced a father's love. 

Seeing other kids being picked up from school by their dad, while I had to go home alone, was terrible, though with time, I got used to it. I thought this was going to change when I am old enough and independent. But I realized that, it even got worse.

A year ago, I enrolled at the university to do my bachelor's program, and I made some friends there. It was the first time in my life to have people who seem to care, and love me besides my mom. But, were they genuinely concerned, cared and loved me? This was the question I would ask myself everytime, because I was used to people making funny of me all my life, even the little ones saw me as nothing. 

"Yet, amidst the turmoil and loneliness, I found a spark of light in the friends I made at university. For the first time in my life, I felt a sense of belonging and acceptance that had long eluded me. While the pain of the past still lingered, their friendship gave me a reason to keep going, to believe that perhaps, someday, I might find my place in this world."

That love, support and the sense of belonging made a twist in my life. I was no longer a young man who was always avoiding people, afraid that I won't fit in this or that group. I nolonger felt as if no one notices me nor was I afraid of being mocked and laughed at, things had changed. But was I happy? I don't know, but what I know is that, things had changed.

As the year progressed, I began to make more and more friends, some who were genuine from what I could tell because these would want to hear more of my story, empathize with me, support me when l am feeling down, and they would always say, "dont worry, we are here for you Cedric." At times they will just call to hear how l am doing or will just pop up at my place with snacks and drinks to just chill and enjoy the moment. 

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Some friends came only because they wanted something from me. The latter would only come during group discussions, because they knew they would benefit a lot from me. 

A week before our group presentation, we gathered together on a weekend. It was Saturday morning,the air was filled with a sweet scent of blooming flowers, blue sky with a bit of fluffy clouds. The sun shining brightly, casting a warm glow over everything. It was indeed a nice day we picked to do our group study, and you could not miss hearing the sound of the rustling of leaves.

After we were done with our group project, one of my friends made a remark saying, "I wonder why you said you used to be mocked and laughed at, yet you are very bright and intelligent. Who would not want to be close to you." 

I couldn't respond to that question, I just clapped my eyes at him and was silent for a few seconds, I then looked down with a facial expression that says, "ooh man, you don't get it." At that moment, I found myself caught in a web of conflicting emotions.  

The pain of the past threatened to resurface, as memories of mockery and loneliness tugged at my heart. But I looked up again and his eyes caught mine, and in that shared moment of understanding, a wave of unexpected laughter washed over us.

You might wonder how we ended up laughing, but these guys whenever I am with them. My heart feels lighter, my burdens lifted. They have shared their stories, the pain they have endured and in doing so, they have become the light in the darkness of my past. I have hope. They have told me their journey in life and their stories changed my thinking and how I see things. 

After we parted ways, the past memories began to pop up in my mind, thinking about the humiliation of being mocked, the sting of their laughter. The loneliness of walking home alone during my childhood. These memories haunted me, haunting every step I took through the corridors of the university. I felt like a shadow, unseen and unvalued.

I arrived at my place thinking about that past life, I was feeling down and with no energy at all. As soon as I entered my room. I couldn't sit, but was pacing back and forth still taken away by those sad moments of my past life. Then I looked around and seeing that I am running low on food, I said to myself

"Oh man, Life at the university is tough especially when you come from a poor family."And that was the case with me. It was really tough but because of having friends around. They continued to give me hope and cared for me to the point that I began to enjoy life at campus. 

Out of those five guys I was close to. Three of them stood out to be very close, more concerned about me, and so, I saw them as close friends whom I could share with all that was in my heart. Peter, was one of those three.

 He was somewhat a quite guy, very big, tall, and with a deep voice. Chris, a smiley guy, simple but intelligent. Sarah, the most caring one, always using the Bible whenever she wants to encourage me on something. She was too talkative, and intelligent and was a bit chubby. These three to be honest, gave me hope and the reason to keep going. However, were they going to stand by me, I wonder.