«So much effort and resources have been invested, but I'm lying here, doomed to a slow death» — E████ thought as he was lying on his bunk in the hermetic room.
«You work hard, you hunch over, you lack sleep, you suffer... Here is the result! I consist entirely of pain, suffering, and despair. That "Grandpa Frost" is still waiting for our conversation, probably. My lungs feel like they're decomposing, my brain is melting, my stomach is turning, my thoughts are blurring. I don'-... I think worse. At least I don't have hallucinations...»
Many people came to visit him. Of course, the first to know about his current condition was Jeff and his "colleagues". Following them were the people in gray suits who expressed their "condolences" when E████'s family and relatives came with a few friends as well. Even his brother with wife flew in from Japan to weep [1], to which E████ replied: "M-yes, now, *COugh*, you are a real seiyu for whining [1] characters. Visit your nephews already!".
The scientific staff of the research center were entering the hermetically sealed chamber through two airlocks: in the first they put on/off a full biological protection suit of the highest level, in the second there was a chemical shower for desinfecting. People in gray and outsiders communicated with E████ via videolink. He himself was currently the subject of research by his "colleagues".
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(Unknown researcher's POV)
|2 days after infection|
«Hurray! Finally, a live patient!» «The end of experiments on rats, we will have a human subject!» — those fools were rejoicing. "Peacekiller" reacts to human cells differently than it does to other animals. The risk is too great, how can they be happy? And who is this poor guy?
What an irony! The head of research became the object of our research. Thanks to the superiors for the fashionable protective suits: in them we can easily study the course of the disease. However, we still sometimes use robots for observation, to reduce the risks to a minimum.
After reviewing the log, we found out the cause of the infection: when assembling the glove box, which our head worked with, a low-quality sealant was used. Even on such an important thing the officials managed to nag the budget!
|4 days after infection|
Yeah... It turned out that Dr. A█████n had contracted a new strain of "peacekiller". As usual, it first affects the upper respiratory tract. Coughing, sneezing, sinusitis. It forms blood clots in the bronchial tubes, leading to respiratory failure, which is not a problem for us now. The differences are quite impressive: widespread damage to the brain tissue, a strange effect on the endocrine system. This leads to impaired coordination of movement, sensory organs, and memory. Oh, and we should call the neurologists on the third floor.
How many different relatives does he have?! The head was able to recognize all of their identities, but forgot almost all of their names. Complete nonsense: he forgot his mother's name, but gave the name of the deputy head Jeff A█████n, although he claims that he does not remember. Hmm... Is it because they're hiding some kind of scheme together? Pfft, whatever. If they're working on a cure, they could bring me up to date.
|5 days after infection|
As soon as I told the morons from the lab about the new symptoms, they immediately smiled. I bet they think of it as that "plague" game! This isn't a fucking game! We're doing some serious things here. If you let this thing out, you cannot get away with a reprimand from your superiors. It's already nine in the night?! Now it's the change of the deputy.
Just now, the superiors reprimanded the security guards at the checkpoint for some old man.
|7 days after infection|
Speaking of superiors, the head began to talk nonsense about "universal knowledge", "understanding the essence of observation" and other baloney. What other "Him" is he talking about? The TV hasn't been installed yet, but he looks like he is watching a movie in his head! I used to think that our manager would never have felt comfortable without Internet access: he always discussed the latest news from the world of science and memes with the deputy. I envy...
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|4 days after infection|
The Observer could not stand it anymore. Waiting and being alone had never caused him so much pain before. He decided to come to E████ himself. Observer knew exactly where the glistening graphite-gray "peacekiller" virus research center was, where he had gone on foot.
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|5 days after infection|
And now, the old man is standing in front of the checkpoint.
— Old man, how did you get here?
— If you're lost, I can tell you the way to the North Pole!
Both guards grinned, though the joke was not funny.
— I want to visit doctor E████ A█████n. I know he is in this building.
— Tsk, visitors again...
— We have not been informed of any such cases. Grandpa Frost, turn around and leave here in a good way.
— You will not let me through, will you?
— Come back at the end of December, and maybe we'll do it.
The guards laughed at their stupid joke, but the laughter was abruptly cut off by the thud of a body falling.
— Old man? Eh?!
— Holy shit, he's not breathing!
— You, call an ambulance! I don't want dead old man on my shift!
The Observer left his physical body lying on the asphalt, and moved directly to E████ through walls, ceilings, and airlocks. By its nature, it was an indefinable entity, which allowed it to move through space instantly and unhindered.
There was one other person in the sealed chamber besides E████. Wearing a biohazard suit, that person leaned over him. The Observer decided not to show himself yet, waiting for the right moment.
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— Jeff... Are you really Jeff?
— We've been through this before. Yes, I am Jeff, your deputy and your friend. You wanted to ask me something, didn't you?
— Oh, right, right, I remember. Wait, I do not remember what exactly I wanted to ask.
— You don't, indeed. Anyways...
Jeff managed to disable the video surveillance system, using his pad and security clearence level of deputy.
— Ha-ha, that was remarkable acting. «I don't remember...», heh. You could be a great actor. You could... Well, what did you want?
— My job here is done, and the rest is *CoUGh* up to you. Finish what I began. The vac- *coUGh* -cine must be completed before the world perishes! So, I can see by your st- *Cough* stupid smile that you want to joke «The cure for "peacekiller" is 90% complete», don't you?
— Yeah, you got me there. And do not get mad on me, please. You can rely on me, I will do it myself! (looks at the screens) Your general condition is constantly getting worse, but look at this: in this test tube is your blood with a new strain of the virus and the number of suitable antibodies sufficient for analysis and reproduction! The serum can be made very soon, and then the vaccine is not far away!
— This... is... good...
— Rest peacefully while I try to save the planet. Are you asleep already? Yep, this is not what I expected from moving to Russia...
«At least, you will leave the Legacy. "The Scientist's Legacy"... I might write a book about you. After all this mess ends, of course.»
With as much care as possible, Jeff has got E████ on an artificial lung ventilator. He turned cameras back on, and left the sealed chamber through the airlocks, carrying a glass box with test tubes filled with the biomaterial needed for the operations.
E████ felt someone else's eyes on him. This is strange, given the impossibility of detecting what cannot be sensed. He was in a half-asleep state, and since he has a tube in his trachea, he tried to "think loudly". Hallucination or not, it is always better to check, you never know what.
— Now, would you mind showing yourself to me? I know you are watching [2] me.
E████ opened his eyes. He expected to see a glowing sphere, or someone like Saruman the White, but there was only himself and a bunch of high-tech equipment in the room. The time and date could be seen on a digital clock. It is 22:23 (10:23 PM) October 2█th, 203█. E████ heard a voice coming from inside his head. He realised that it was not his own voice. And that voice said: ...
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
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— We have settled on the fact that we wanted to discuss the latest developments in the gaming ind-...
Oh, I can hear that old man. I will have to report a new symptom. The TV hasn't been brought in yet, and there's no one to talk to. So, what happen, if I interrupt the "voice in my head", and then reply?
— OLD MAN?! Surprisingly, I've never had such obvious auditory hallucinations before.
— I am not an illusion. "Cōgitō ergō sum", my friend.
«I am thinking, therefore I exist». I didn't know it sounded like that in Latin. It turns out that this is not a hallucination... What? "Friend"? I have always considered myself just a conversationalist. Well, let him think so, if it makes him feel better.
— Your existence and thinking contradicts the very essence of things, but I am not going to deny it. Who... No, what are you?
— I am an Observer. I have seen the beginning and the end of countless Universes. I can no longer gain more knowledge by observing. I was limited.
Did the "Big Bounce" theory turn out to be correct? How can such a creature be limited?!
— Observing the progress of an experiment is as important a part of it as the experiment itself, and it has no limits. Observation and experiment are two components of the same empirical cycle. Without conducting an experiment, you can only study the world around you and the processes in it. I assume that you have previously used various models to study processes that require the influence of external forces.
— Truth. The computer modulation, however, does not provide such an array of data as seeing firsthand.
— Why did not you conduct the experiments yourself? "Seeing firsthand" the result of your own actions would not cause you a feeling of satisfaction? For what reason, Observer?
— I could not.
— Reason?
— I could not.
I hate it the most. When someone is actually able to do something without much effort, but pretends that they "cannot". Just think how quickly a person's attitude towards someone can change...
The Observer has universal knowledge, but he is more foolish than my brother.
What a pity.
— What is the reason?! Didn't you once tell me that watching is a burden? That while you were just observing, you were feeling the "perpetual pain"?
— I could not! I was told to... He told me, «To observe — only to observe. DO NOT MAKE CHANGES. Know a lot. Know more. You will give back knowledge after time. The time — unknown.» I could not go against His precept!
Understandable. Someone says, «Do as I say. It is right. It's easier this way.» No, it is not easier! When someone does something obviously wrong because others will be unhappy... I. HATE. IT.
Ha, so the transcendent exists. I wish to know it.
But wouldn't an entity consisting of accumulated information, though maybe not information, disappear after transfering it? The Observer doesn't think about himself at all?
— His precept?! To exist for so long only to be forgotten? To give all your obtained knowledge to someone who hasn't even given you the will to live? In the end, there's Nothing waiting for you!
— No! I do not believe [3] you!
Faith [3]... What is the power of faith against the power of will? Tsk, that phrase doesn't fit here. Maybe, destroy him with the fact of false hopes?
— I am a human being. I have the will. I can only exist in the here and now, but even so, I will leave behind the hope of a "bright future" for all these greedy, pitiful and vile people! And does he hope?
— I believe that He hopes for my return. I know for a fact that He will open the door to Nothing for me and accept me.
Eh? What is about this "Nothing"? Observer seems to be glad that he will die!
— Contradictions! What kind of nonsense is this? Do you even have feelings? Aren't you afraid of being forgotten?
— I will not be forgotten. Not by Him.
— Well, we'll see.
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— Heart, did you know that people on Earth didn't have souls?
— The consequence of the absence of mana?
— Exactly. But the Observer, like you, was a spiritual being composed of the purest mana and soul. He was so busy observing the world around him that he completely forgot about himself...
— It is upsetting.
—...Uh-huh. Stop interrupting. As the Observer entered my head, something unusual began to happen: a gradual merging of the two minds. As a result, I got some of the Observer's memories, and he got some of mine. But that's not all: his purest mana began to seep into my body. Because of my active nervous activity at that moment (And of course! With such a dispute, you can not help but think actively.) mana has become the basis of my soul. Since I had a soul, the Observer started leaking data. It has not been cut out, but copied, just like mine.
— If you had a soul, you didn't have to worry about damage to your nervous system and further memory loss, did you?
— Yes and no. Keep listening.
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|7 days after infection|
A day has passed, and nothing has been heard from the Observer. Where did he "fly" to? Really to Him? Or is he still sitting in that library, annoyed at the impossibility of conducting even the simplest kids' experiment? Serves him right!
They were supposed to install a TV set today, but it's not there! Well, I think I got a "parting gift " from the Observer — his memory.
Nobody, and there is no way to call Him — the purest reason, the consciousness before awareness. I have received transcendental knowledge "a priori", which automatically elevates me above all other minds of the whole world. This feeling... The superiority of my mind is genuinely intoxicating!
I am ashamed. It is just awful. I wish I did not know that. I don't even want to joke about "This is... Requiem.". I would have gone nuts in the fourth iteration. This is not a "Big Bounce", which implies the birth of a new universe from a compressed old one, but simply a cycle of deaths.
And the Observer obediently followed the precept for more than a googolquadroplex of cycles... I don't feel good. Oh, something new. He is so in awe of this new energy/matter that I myself feel its greatness. Mana is strong. I understand what the Observer was afraid of.
Poof, and it is like it didn't even exist! An incident of Universal scale. The realization that I need to be grateful to mana for bringing life into being makes me sick. (Or is it because of the disease?) I think it's for the best. Fantasy anime has taught me that magic slows down the technological progress.
Wow. The ecstasy of observing the greatness of evolution and natural selection exceeds my expectations. The presence of small plumage in dinosaurs is not new at all. Boring, I'll skip it.
Of course, I already knew that people are the source of evil in the Universe, but not so much... Oof, how envious Observer was! The nice thing is that the anthropology was so accurate. Haha, observing with tongue and nose! How did he pay for the food? Where is this memory? ...Okay.
Observer's indolence has changed to the feeling of loneliness too quickly. I don't understand how he can want the presence of noise sources so much. Outsiders interfere, and he consciously wants it?
In the eyes of Observer, I was some kind of messiah who told him the secret of the Universe. Oh, it's me! Still the same handsome man, with the perfect beard and hair. Let the smooth-faced ones tremble before me and my beauty! Who am I kidding: skin problems, slouching, myopia... Will they bring the TV already?! Oh, it is right here! I didn't notice.
|8 days after infection|
«...-ceiving reports of cases of infection with a new "peacekiller" strain from eighty-seven countries...»
It is all the same.
«...the graph shows how the number of confirmed cases of infection increases dramatically to one and a half million per day...»
On all channels.
|9 days after infection|
«...-mber of deaths in the last two days has increased by eight hundred thousand! People from the center "Graphite" rep-...»
Jeff failed. They say the material has been destroyed. The TV was connected to the video surveillance system, I immediately found out what happened, I am the Head Researcher after all. The truth is, Jeff was carefully carrying a glass box, and as he passed the forty-second office, the door opened abruptly and unexpectedly. All the contents of the test tubes spilled down the corridor. It turned out, that the new strain is surprisingly resistant to environmental influences, but the antibodies have been denatured, and new ones can no longer be obtained from me, as my immune system failed.
As world's peace has been killed already, and for its lethality, the new strain was called "world-reaper". Why can't they call it normally? Like, is "PAX-3█" that bad name?
I am dying, but I don't want to suffer any more, I don't want to observe the collapse of humanity. It will be very difficult for the Observer: constantly seeing how your conversationalist dies, and how everyone else follows him, cycle after cycle. Probably.
I contacted the men in gray to ask for my euthanasia to be performed by Jeff. It is banned in the Russian Federation and is punishable, as is murder, but they "treated with understanding and agreed on this issue." Jeff did everything with amazing care, as he always did.
«The distance between life and death is measured by suffering.» Without suffering, the transition from life to death is instantaneous.
I am falling asleep. It doesn't hurt anymore. Observer hadn't said anything since, and I did not want to hearhim again.
My death is dragging on. "Cōgitō ergō sum", right? But this is impossible!
Oh, no! I can't open my eyes! Is anyone here? I can neither feel my limbs, nor... I don't feel anything at all!
In general, to some extent, this is even good. The fact that I still have the ability to think is good enough.
Hm... Does this happen to all people after death? It's all very strange...
Whoa, whoa, I'm going somewhere! Where the hell am I?!
「WHERE? HERE. HERE — NOWHERE.」
No, I am here, and here is somewhere! Who are you?
「I AM ME. WHO ARE YOU?」
It ceased to be significant after my death. After... How much time has passed?
「TIME HAS PASSED?」
OH, so You are the creator of the Observer! Why didn't You give him the will and take away the opportunity to act?
「WHY? NO.」
Very informative, you know.
「KNOWLEDGE ... GIVE ME KNOWLEDGE — TIME HAS PASSED.」
No! Until the Observer himself says that he is ready to be forgotten for the sake of other's hopes, you will not get any knowledge. He may not have asked me to, but I will protect his soul! Observer can keep collecting knowledge if... Speaking of which, where did he go?
AAA!!! Why did it suddenly hurt so much?! It was as if a piece of flesh had been torn from me! A sharp attack of information hunger... It's been so long since I've felt it. (And it has receded as it had never happened.) You... What have you done?
「KNOWL-L-LL-L-L--L-L-L...」
Is it dead now, or what? Overeating is too harmful. Hmm... Although there was some pain, but I did not forget anything that the Observer remembered. Are you sure it was knowledge? Hey?
「I realized. I can do more than observe! I am free to choose my path of my own sacrifices!」
Nice. I am glad. (False.) What about Him? What happened to the Earth after my death?
「Nobody is now forever a part of Nothing. Finally, I am free of the limits! Strong soul, you also can...」
I can what? What's about that stro-... ooHOOOOH! So, I have a soul, but others don't... I myself wanted Observer to show his will, and in the end, Observer rebelled against his creator, breaking the burden of observation.
However, I knew too little about Nobody, as the first memory of Observer was the question «What am I?».
Nobody is the purest reason, the consciousness [4] before awareness [4], which created Everything out of Nothing. And yet... I am torn between awe and hatred for Him.
I obtained the a priori experience, but I lost a good conversationalist.
What a pity.