“Where in the world is Michael?” Anaya muttered as she looked out towards Mesa Bay. In the distance, she could vaguely see the bay’s namesake, the island that was home to the Water Temple. Part of her kind of wanted to visit, but, well, she wasn’t a hero.
“Probably off still doing some demon hunting,” Noriko replied, her arms held behind her head in a casual pose that she probably shouldn’t be doing in her fancy black dress with a yellow trim.
“Really?” Anaya idly swirled the glass of wine in her had, still watching the distant island. “Hm, I was hoping they would be back before the wedding. They went off yesterday, didn’t they?”
“Sometime around then. Apparently there were assassins. Ask Giacomo for the details, he should be around here somewhere.”
Anaya sighed, then adjusted the fit of her own green gown. She preferred not to dress up so much, but a king’s wedding required a certain level of fanciness just to be present at it. Even if it was a ridiculous affair held across three different boats out in Orindaco’s bay.
The wedding vessels were all lined up in a nice row, connected together by bridges from one boat to the other, and all of them were filled with a mix of nobles and security in the form of knights and mercenaries. All around, it was showy, flashy, and exclusive, all things Anaya didn’t particularly care for.
“I guess I was just hoping they would show up for this. At least then I’d have someone to commiserate with over how stupid this whole thing is.”
“Hey, you can commiserate with this gal! She’s not impressed by this either, and she’s the one with royal blood.”
Anaya smirked. “Well if we’re going to flaunt status, I could bring up that whole archdruid thing I did. You know, leading a whole nation.”
Noriko raised a skeptical eyebrow, “Didn’t you hate it?”
“Oh sure, but if it’ll help me win a silly contest with Misha, why not bring it up? Isn’t that what social status is for?”
“It is in my experience,” commented a nearby human woman, dressed up very nicely in a silver and teal gown–Oh, so that’s who it was.
“Hello your majesty,” greeted Anaya, inclining her head to the first queen of Luceneva, “I’d bow, but I might spill my drink.”
“Save it. I’m not interested in propriety right now and I doubt you two are either, archdruid and princess.”
“Ah…guess this gal was a little obvious,” Noriko mumbled, a little sheepishly.
“I won’t call you out on it, don’t worry.” She sighed, frowning towards the party. “This is the third time I’ve had to attend my husband’s wedding to another woman. You would think the bastard would at least have the decency to leave me off the invite list.”
Anaya felt her lips quirk in amusement. “My apologies if this comes off as crass, your majesty, but I don’t think decency and your husband go together.”
Queen Alice sniffed in some amusement. “No need to apologize, the man is a mangy mongrel with a libido problem. In a just world, he’d be a eunuch, but alas, that practice is outlawed.”
“...Did Luceneva ever have eunuchs?” Noriko asked, genuinely curious.
“Who’s to say? Ask a god, they’re bound to know.”
“Perhaps I might later,” Anaya said with a smile, “But before that, I’d like to get to know you some more, your majesty~”
“What’s there to know? I was raised to be a duchess with a prince for a husband, then the idiot rose to kingship and I followed along to be his queen. Not that the prick stayed loyal for long, but then he never was. You’ve seen the play, you know how ‘villainously’ I tried to keep my intended from running off with another woman, and you know that slut of a man barely held true even to his ‘lady love’. Meanwhile, here I am, pumping out five kids for the ingrate and sticking with him even as his bullshit reeks worse by the day.”
As Noriko whistled, audibly impressed by the deluge of venom the royal unleashed, Anaya simply nodded along. “I would offer my condolences, but I get the feeling you’d just get annoyed.”
“Ha, not incorrect. You can only hear so many empty platitudes before they start becoming insulting.”
“Are they better or worse than the people who think you’re a villain?”
“Worse, certainly. I’m a noble, that makes me villainous by nature.” She took a sip of her wine, smirking out towards the gathered guests milling about. “Being pitied is far worse than being regarded as vile. Vileness can be respected by the vile, but no one respects the pitiful.”
“And nobles hold respect as paramount,” Anaya noted with a small smile of her own. “So having a king like his majesty, who oozes disrespect, must be grating.”
“Of course it is, but I’m the idiot that married him, so who’s the bigger fool?”
“It’s not foolish to try to be happy.”
Alice blinked, then snorted, glancing at Anaya. “You think I did it to be happy? Wouldn’t ‘obligation’ make more sense as a reason?”
“Obligation would’ve meant having one kid with him, maybe two. Not five. And I hope you don’t take this as crude, but from what I’ve seen, they all look like him,” Anaya said, glancing towards the princes in question. The oldest was sitting with his own wife and seemed to be happily complaining to her about the party, while the younger three were scattered around, chatting with guests or flirting with staff.
“Maybe I’m just competitive,” Alice retorted.
“That could be it, but what do I know? All I saw was the play.”
The queen huffed in amusement. “Honestly, I think Rory was more offended than I was by that stupid production. My younger brother, to be clear.”
“Ah, the duke? Should I expect to see him here?”
“Oh certainly not. He’s made it a point to snub every event of Richard’s that he can get away with. I think his excuse this time was a shrubby infestation in his wine cellar. Of course, he still made sure to send a gift.”
She gestured towards one of the many wedding presents stacked into a small mountain on one of the round tables on the deck. Not much set it apart from the other presents, other than its teal wrapping and the fact that it had air holes.
“Huh. He got him a pet?” Anaya asked with a slight frown. Hopefully whatever was in there wasn’t too unhappy…
“No, no, not a pet. At least, not for Richard. Rory has something of a tradition at this point of sending dungeon vipers to my husband. I’m fairly certain he specifically cultivates a dungeon in his territory to maintain a decent supply.”
Noriko made an impressed noise. “Wow, that’s spiteful. Hey, do you know if your brother’s interested in selling any of those? Because this g–ah, this lady knows some shinobi orders back home that would be interested in buying.”
“I could ask, but I think it’s more of a hobby than a business for him. Turning into something meant for profit might remove the fun from it.”
“Ah yeah, this lady gets that. Well hey, let him know anyways and if not, just give him this lady’s regards.”
“Well, I suppose if I can’t be a decent queen, I may as well be a messenger.”
“I’m sure you’ve given it your best,” Anaya consoled, “You haven’t killed your husband yet at least, and it doesn’t seem like you’ve tried.”
Alice huffed in amusement. “I haven’t, no. Rory did try a few times, which I had to hush up. I think Circe wants him dead more than I do, but I can’t blame her for that. Gods know I’ve wanted to be rid of Richard at times, it’s just impossible to get around.”
“And divorce doesn’t exist for queens.”
“Oh, no, it has existed and will exist again, more likely than not. Luceneva prefers matrilineality, if you may remember. No, the issue is just how much political bullshit we’re all tied up in and the simple fact that it’s less of a hassle to stick with the idiot than it is to upend the country. If a noble wants to keep power, they should do their utmost to actually care for the land they rule. Such is noble obligation, and the sole reason anyone really tolerates us.”
“This gal would like to point out there are other factors,” Noriko said, raising a finger, “Like divine favor and mystical lineages.”
“Neither of which really matter. Strength counts until someone stronger comes along. The advantage nobility has over the commonfolk is that the ancestors of nobility decided on society’s rules and inertia keeps things stumbling along. Point to divine favor and you show that divinity rules, not the king, and the instance that favor is lost, he means nothing. No god could favor Richard, and yet here he is, so that clearly isn’t what keeps him in power.”
“...That’s a very cynical view of monarchy for a queen.”
“Hypocrisy is baked into nobility and I am a born noble, Princess.”
“Why is that always this gal’s nickname?”
Anaya giggled a little at Noriko’s pouting, before glancing over at the party. “Oh, I think things are starting. Okay, how do we do this? Are we sitting in rows or at tables?”
“Tables. Here, you can sit with me,” Alice offered while walking towards the nearest round table set up on the deck. Soon after they were seated, a familiar face slid into one of the unoccupied seats.
“Ciao belle!” greeted Giacomo, dressed a bit fancier than usual in a proper azure doublet, “I was wondering what you two would get up to–Oh, uh, greetings, your majesty.”
“Buongiorno condottiero, come va?” Alice replied with zero hesitation.
"...Ah…sto bene, sua Maestà,” he mumbled, looking a little stunned, before clearing his throat and glancing at Anaya and Noriko. “...Okay how did you two run into the queen?”
“She came to us,” Anaya answered honestly.
“Ahh…well, ah, I hope you are enjoying yourself, your majesty.”
“About as well as I can be as I watch my husband make a cuckold of me thrice over,” Alice answered, also quite honestly and very bluntly.
Luckily for Giacomo, he was saved from replying to that by the ceremony starting. And, well, it was about as awful as could be expected.
Anaya had been to a few weddings, some more ostentatious than others, but even she thought it would be hard to top having the bride brought down the aisle on her own personal palanquin. The queen-to-be, dressed in a vibrant gown that shifted between red, green and blue in a brilliant display calling back to Luceneva’s primarily worshiped goddesses, waved to the crowd of onlookers with a cheerful smile behind her shimmering veils. But even that wasn’t as bad as what was to come.
“GOOD MORNING, MY PEOPLE!” came the voice of King Richard Lucene, drawing the eyes of the wedding guest up towards the ridiculous statue of the king in question, where they soon spotted the king himself standing on his statue’s outstretched hand. The king was using his own palm as a platform as he spread his arms wide in greeting to his public.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Then he stepped from the palm, prompting some gasps from the crowd, and floated down to the raised dais beneath his statue in a display that would have been impressive if Anaya couldn’t clearly see a team of majors, two on either side of the platform, visibly straining as they manipulated the air to make sure their king didn’t crash into a bloody heap on the ground.
After that ridiculous entrance, the actual ceremony was pretty standard. Josephine, who looked like she would prefer to be anywhere else, was playing the role of officiant for the soon-to-be-wedded. Anaya had to admit, her ex did look good in her pontiff regalia, all sea-colored cloth and sapphire regalia. She’d even cleaned up a bit with makeup to hide the signs of her drinking, which showed she was taking the ceremony seriously, even if she didn’t like it.
“Glory be unto the King. May his majesty shine upon we who gather here under the eyes of the gods,” Josie began, her voice calm and assured without a hint of drunkenness. She continued on through the standard stuff: prayers to the gods for health and longevity, blessings for the union between partners of the heart, and an oath that the two shall ever be loyal to one another.
“I shall be,” Richard said, and it was easy to look at Alice to see just how much of a lie that was.
“And so shall I be,” Molly responded. It was hard to gauge her own sincerity, but at least she looked happy.
“Then under the eyes of the gods, I ask one final question,” Josie recited, ignoring the doe-eyed lovers in front of her, “If any shall object to this union, may their voices be heard now, or forever be silent.”
“Well I can’t very well pass up an opportunity like that.” There was a pause, then everyone looked at the sole speaker in the crowd: Avilio Veloah, leader of the Sapphire Serpents, who raised his hand with an amused smirk on his face. “I object.”
“What?” Richard blinked in genuine confusion, then frowned, turning towards Veloah. “What in the world are you doing?!”
Beside her, Anaya noticed Giacomo looked just as confused. “Boss? What the hell?”
But Avilio didn’t seem to hear his subordinate as he stood from his table with a smirk on his face. “I said I object. Though, not because I actually have a problem with this union. Honestly, I couldn’t care less if you happened to marry another bridge, your majesty. Marry a hundred, for all I care! I just had to take the opportunity the pontiff there offered me. Just like I had to take the opportunity you offered me, your majesty~”
“What? Look, whatever this is supposed to be, it’s not funny,” Richard complained, “Someone get this idiot out of here.”
But none of the guards moved. Not a single one. And Anaya couldn’t help but notice every single guard on the king’s wedding ship happened to be wearing the colors of a mercenary guild.
Avilio’s mustache curled as he smirked, before the blue-scaled nereid in his azure suit raised a hand and snapped his fingers.
In an instant, the bridges connecting the two extra wedding barges, the ones containing the actual members of the King’s guard and a number of lesser nobles, exploded into chunks of burning wood, right before the ships themselves shuddered from explosions hitting their lower decks. There were screams from the guests as the ships began to sink, but the main vessel, the one Anaya and everyone else was on, was completely untouched.
“Now now, don’t worry!” Avilio called out above the panic, “Don’t worry! The food and drink on the other ships were spiked with potions of water-breathing! So long as the guests and guards enjoyed themselves properly, no one’s died today! Well, presumably. Oh, and before any of you get any funny ideas–”
Every mercenary on the ship drew a weapon, ranging from cutlasses to flintlocks, and aimed them at the wedding guests. One White Fur merc even brought a trident, which was…a choice.
“–then my fine colleagues will go out of their way to make things very unpleasant for everyone,” he finished.
“W-What? What the hell is this?!” King Richard demanded, “What do you think you’re doing to my wedding?! You’re ruining everything!”
“I do so love your priorities, your majesty, though I’m gonna have to correct. I’m not the one ruining things. Or at least, I’m not the only one.”
On cue, two of the “guests” stood up from their spots among the tables, and Anaya was annoyed to see one of them happened to be Darius Centola. She recognized the blonde woman too, “Marlowe” if she remembered right, the leader of the local White Furs.
“How’s it that everywhere we go, there’s a coup?” Anaya muttered under her breath, earning a blink from Giacomo.
“Ah, this has happened before?”
“It happened in Gorokiva,” Noriko murmured, before giving Anaya a curious look, “This gal didn’t hear about anything like that happening in Sollamava though.”
“Oh, we kind of headed it off before it could become something, but it was still a problem at the time, you know?” Well, Michael headed it off, but Anaya was…there. She kind of helped.
As for the current, ongoing coup, yeah, there wasn’t much she could do at the moment.
“What the hell is this??” Richard repeated, more shocked this time than angry, “Veloah, Centola, and Marlowe!? All of you are betraying me!?”
“Oh no no, not at all, your majesty,” Avilio contradicted, “I’m betraying the contract I signed with your wife. I don’t have a contract with you, remember? As for these two, well…”
“Sorry Kingy, I don’t have a contract with you either,” Marlowe chirped with a big smile, “The person Darry and I are working for is Circe, and, well…”
Queen Circe stood up from her table, smirking over at her husband. “Congratulations on the wedding, Richard. You piece of shit.”
“C-Circe!? Hold on, you’re betraying me!? Why??”
“Years of humiliation from having to be married to a sorry sack of shit like you, obviously. Add in the factor of my idiot brother sinking my family’s standing on Sollamava, and really, my options go from waiting for you to put me aside for another younger woman, to just taking the damned kingdom for myself already and salvaging what I can from ‘Garotiva’.”
“And as for my own motivations, what else but money, your majesty?” Avilio smirked. “Money, and fame, of course. For who else could have as daring an escapade as directly robbing the wedding of Luceneva’s very own king? None other than the great Sapphire Serpent, Avilio Veloah!”
“Godsdammit Avi…”
Anaya glanced over at Circe’s table to see Margrave Brascul, wearing a rather nice shoulderless dress, with her face in her gloved hands before the Archduchess of Orindaco looked up in exasperation at her first mate again. “Did you really decide to go back to piracy right now? Are you seriously giving up everything just for ‘one last heist’?”
“Ah, Graves, Graves, Graves…of course I am!” Avilio beamed. “Why would I want to waste away in luxury? Only a fool defines success in monetary wealth! What of the wealth of experience, hm?”
“That’s not what that saying means.”
“But it could be! Why, any pirate worth his mettle would jump at the chance to prove himself!" Grinning, he pulled out his flintlock and aimed it at Brascul. "I hope as a favor to your old first mate, you'll sit this one out."
"I'd be more inclined to agree if you weren't aiming a gun at me."
"Ah, but I know you Graves, just think of it as a precaution because of how much I respect you," he said with a mocking grin.
Margrave just sighed though, more in exasperation than any real aggravation. “So what is the plan here? I know you like to monologue, Avi. You might as well get it out.”
“Isn’t it obvious? We just hijacked a boat filled with royalty and nobility. So while our dear Queen Circe goes right ahead with her plan to let the lovely couple here elope to a deserted island after naming her the new queen sovereign of Luceneva and disinheriting everyone she doesn’t approve of, we’ll be robbing the guests of everything of value on them before sailing off with a bevy of hostages to be sent back home at reasonable prices. You know what they say about a king’s ransom.” He smirked. “Ask nicely though and I might just take you along, Gravesy. For old time’s sake~”
“If you wanted to get back together, you could have asked instead of performing a coup.”
“But where’s the fun in that? Besides, the last coup my people tried to pull off failed miserably, so I need to regain my honor here.” He mock-sighed, shaking his head. “Really, that’s what guaranteed I’d make this big move. How the hell am I supposed to make an honest living when I’m on an entire country’s shitlist? Asher might’ve gotten rid of the evidence, but that type of reputation sticks with a man. So of course I had to double down.”
“And you’re fine with this, Asher?” Margrave asked, glancing at the elder Belsito brother, who stood with his hands in his pockets as he kept an eye on the guests.
He paused in his watch at being addressed, glancing over. “Yup. Sorry, captain, but Avilio pays me these days. Not you.” He looked over at Anaya’s table. “Though Giacomo didn’t know, in case you’re wondering.”
“I still don’t know what’s going on here!” Giacomo snapped, pushing himself up from his seat, “Don Veloah, fratello, are you seriously turning on the captain like this!?”
“It’s not really turning on Graves,” Avilio argued, “I’m just making the moves that are right for me, and your brother agrees! It’s not my fault he thought you wouldn’t be up for it.”
“Of course I’m not! This is insane!”
“All this drama aside,” Queen Alice said as she stood up too, catching the mercenaries’ attention, “I have to ask what the plan is for my sons and I.”
“Well like I said, nobles are getting sold back to their families,” Avilio answered with a grin, “I’m sure Queen Circe will have you abdicate beforehand, but I don’t think there are any plans to kill any of you, right?”
He glanced at Circe, who raised an eyebrow. “...You’re awfully naive for a mercenary boss. Do you really think I’ll just let them go?”
“Yes, obviously, because I’m going to let them go. And I’m the one with all the guns and weapons, remember?” Avilio grinned up at the queen. “I might be a scoundrel, but I’m not an asshole, your majesty. I’ll leave them on an island if you insist, but I’m not killing a bunch of royals, especially when it will bring their ducal uncle down on our heads.”
“I have to say, you’re surprisingly sensible for someone launching a coup,” Anaya said as she stood up too, prompting Noriko and Giacomo to glance at her in alarm.
“S-Sister, what are you doing?!” Giacomo hissed as Avilio turned towards her with a sigh.
“While I appreciate the compliment, I really don’t need more people deciding to talk–...Hold on, aren’t you that druid that was with that paladin?”
Anaya smiled. “That I am. Anaya Greenfall, former archdruid of Naloriva. Your friend Darius there knows me already.”
“More allies of convenience than friends,” Avilio replied.
“Oh sure, I can understand that. Darius does seem very unpleasant. Which is why I’m curious why he wants to work with you to begin with.” She inclined her head towards Marlowe. “I imagine your counterpart from the Furs is just in this for money too, but I thought you two hated each other.”
“Heh. Ah, trying to use our issues to drive us apart, huh? It’s the oldest trick in the book, but it’s cute to see you try it!”
“Yeah, real cute. Especially since I was planning to turn on this bastard from the start,” Darius admitted, prompting a pause from Avilio.
“What was tha–?”
Avilio jerked as a shot rang out, then glanced down at his chest. Or, more specifically, the hole that was now in it, before he looked up at Centola, who simply sneered at him.
Several screams rang out along with the sound of metal sinking into flesh as the Furies and Furs on deck promptly turned their weapons on the Scales in their midst, sinking daggers and axes into flesh. More bullets flew as the guests tried to duck and cover, screams of terror turning into shrieks of pain as Anaya felt herself get dragged down by Noriko while Giacomo shoved their table over.
“No, wait, my sons–” Alice tried to say before Noriko pulled her down too.
“Don’t run out there! You’ll just get hit!”
The queen looked horrified, but she swallowed it down and nodded as the shooting stopped.
Anaya hazarded a peek and heard Giacomo gasp as he did the same, his eyes locked on his brother, who was clutching the red ruin of his throat as he tried to breathe. Above Asher, Marlowe stood with a bloodied knife, turning and smiling when she noticed their stares.
“Heh. Congrats, elf. You kicked things off pretty nicely there,” she praised with audible amusement, earning a scoff from Darius.
“Please, it was a long time coming,” he sneered, thinking she was talking to him. Across from him, Avilio swayed in the wind, more holes across his chest, prompting a scowl from Darius. “You know what I hate about you, you piece of filth? That you had the audacity to consider yourself my equal, you fucking fish!
He turned his gaze towards Margrave, who was still standing, her hands digging into the table in front of her as she glared straight at the leader of the Furies. “And then there’s this bitch, acting as though she’s above me! All of you half-lifed humans, dressing as nobles, as kings, as though you’re anything more than gnats eking out a bare century before keeling over! You think you’re worthy of that crown?! You think you’re worthy of anything more than being mud drenched dregs serving the real masters of this world!? YOU’RE NOT! YOU’RE TRASH, AND I REFUSE TO ACT AS THOUGH YOU’RE ABOVE ME FOR EVEN A SECOND LONGER!”
“...huh.” Avilio looked over at Margrave, looking faintly surprised before it turned to a contrite smile. “Sorry, Graves.”
And then he collapsed, crashing straight to the ground.
“Tch, are you kidding me?! That’s what he has to say!?” Darius snapped, glaring at the bloodied body–Then he jerked back as a knife nearly went through his head. Nearly, because one of his golem bodyguards caught it.
“Tut tut,” Vesu said, wagging a finger as she smiled at a seething Margrave, “Sorry to say, but I can’t let you kill the boss.”
“...ha! You worthless half-life, do you really–”
“Really, I’m very sorry about it.”
“...” Darius pushed past his bodyguard and smirked at Margrave, his remaining two golems moving to flank him. “You’re done, Grave. This whole city? All of it’s mine. No more Lucene kings, no more human archdukes, this holy city is mine. In the name of the holy Triarch of Light, I stake my claim!”
“Can you even do that?” Marlowe asked, quite casually for a woman holding a bloodied knife and standing above the man whose throat she’d just cut, “I thought you were a failed paladin.”
“I didn’t fail! I left the order completely willingly!” Darius snapped, before grinning with a crazed look in his eyes, “And now look at me! I’ve claimed an entire city in the name of the Faith! This is proof that the gods favor me!”
And that’s when the Water Temple exploded.