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The Grand Escape

I am trapped here. For a few moments, I stand there in shock as the reality of the situation sinks in. O my God, my master, may he be struck by a thousand lightings, didn't just leave me here.

He trapped me here so I won't be able to escape. Then he will come to collect me when it suits him. That is if he hasn't forgotten about me.

Panic washes over me but strangely a part of my mind is also calm. I imagine that if I was still in my old body my heart rate would through the roof right now.

But that part of my mind that for some reason isn't panicking is saying something else. If my master, may he burn in hell, wanted to trap me here there are easier ways to do it.

He could just command me to stay put. There was no need for him to go out of his way to block the exit with the giant round boulder in front of me.

No, this feels more like a kid hiding a toy from his siblings in his back garden. He will cover the toy with dirt but not to trap the toy. The dirt is there to disguise the toy from the other siblings.

Look at me. Comparing myself with a toy. How the mighty have fallen. Anyway, the reason for his decision isn't important.

The important thing is how to get out before my master, may he never feel the touch of women, comes back.

I approach the boulder to get a better look at it. Just as it looked from afar, the boulder is one giant mass of rock. Where did he even find something like this? It's not like giant rocks are everywhere. At least I don't think so.

Let alone the fact of how did he move the boulder here or how he enters here. There isn't a moving mechanism that I can see at least.

Ok, escape plan number one. Push the boulder. Maybe I am strong enough to move it. Spoiler alert I am not. Thank God that I don't have muscles anymore or I would definitely have pulled a couple of them.

Escape plan number two. Punch the boulder. Results? After a few hundred punches I finally made a dent. A dent in my Teddy bear hands that is. The boulder is completely fine.

F*ck this boulder in particular. Aren't golems supposed to be super strong? Moving giant boulders is what golems do.

Escape plan number three. Dig around the boulder. Yeah, escape plan number three is put on hold at the moment. Teddy bear hands don't have fingers. I can't dig without fingers. I also can't use any equipment for digging without fingers not that I have any anyway.

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Crestfallen I return to the room I first woke up. Maybe that isn't my only way out. There could be other things that I might have missed too.

As I walk with small strides towards the room I realize something interesting about my eyesight. I can see at the back of my head.

I didn't realize it earlier because it felt so natural to see this way. My brain or whatever passes for a brain in a golem body was still processing the information like I used to do as a human.

Basically, I was ignoring the data input coming from behind and only concentrating on what was in front. Now that I am concentrating on my eyesight I discover even more unique characteristics of my vision.

I am able to see all around me in all directions but only for a certain distance. A few meters at most and then beyond that my vision turns to black immediately.

Unlike human eyesight where after certain distances objects start to turn blurry until you can only make out a vague outline or until they blend entirely with the horizon.

As I am musing about the specifics of my eyes I enter the room that I first woke up in. I don't know why I am disappointed when I see that nothing has changed.

I just left this room an...hour ago? I don't know ok I don't have a watch. Anyway, the stupid mattress is still there. As is the bookshelf. Seriously who brings a bookshelf inside a cave only to store one book in it.

Like doesn't my master, may he fall in a dark pit, has anything better to do. Well, now that I think about it no one in the right mind would block an entrance with a boulder instead of just putting a door.

*Sigh*, Of course, he isn't normal. No one creates a golem just to leave it in a dark cave. Maybe this is normal in this reality. I can't keep judging things by Earth standards.

Happy thoughts, think happy thoughts like maybe a cave in will happen which would crush me to death. It's not entirely impossible, right? I don't think my luck will be that good but one can hope.

With nothing better to do, I reach for the book. Well, I try to. The funny thing is the book is stored on one of the top shelves. I can't reach it. Why must my master, may his wife cheat on him, have to put the book on the top shelf.

Like can't he put it on the lower shelves, even the middle shelves are ok. You know short people no, short golems want to read too. It is not our fault that we are short.

In frustration, I punch the bookshelf and unlike the boulder, it breaks. The section where my teddy bear punch landed has a missing chunk of wood now.

The wood of the bookshelf must have been rotten because after that punch the whole bookshelf started making creaking noises. Just like dominoes, the bookshelves collapse with me under it. The wood planks fall on me and break.

Dust and splinters fly everywhere but other than that I am fine. A bit dusty but not damaged in the least. Not even a dent in my metal body. I didn't even fall. I am standing like nothing it was nothing.

To think that for a moment I had my hopes up. Lots of people die crushed underneath a falling bookshelf. It seems that my metal body is impervious to falling bookshelves.

So I am strong enough to shatter rotten wood but not rock. I raise my teddy bear hands to get a better view of them and I make the most terrifying discovery since I woke up in this body.

The dents in my hands from punching the giant boulder at the entrance are gone.

Great I have an impervious body from falling rotten wood and a self-healing mechanism.

How is a golem supposed to kill himself?