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A Frog Out Of Water - Yu-Gi-Oh GX
Side Story 1 - In Which Phil Plays A Very Silly Deck

Side Story 1 - In Which Phil Plays A Very Silly Deck

It was the darkest part of the night. The moon shone overhead, but even its light, as bright as a full moon’s light normally would be, seemed muffled.

All of Duel Academy seemed muffled. The shouting from the rebuilt dorms was muffled. The distant sight of the jungle breaking under the furious clash between Midori Hibiki and an unknown opponent.

The only ones not trapped under that muffled sensation were a green-haired man, his eyes and smile dripping with pure malice, and a brown-haired boy garbed in a bright red jacket. Two creatures stood between the duelists. A knight of black and brown armor, sealed in a perfectly clear crystal that did little to hide an overflowing wellspring of malice that perfectly matched its master. The blade on its hand still dripped with fiery red blood torn from the bodies of fallen heroes.

Clear Vicious Knight (2300/1100).

On the other side of the field stood a true hero. Pride dripped from its pure black shoulder plates, the brilliant red ruby nestled in its chest providing a stark contrast to the pure white, almost otherworldly gleam of its body.

Elemental Hero Terra Firma (2500/2000).

Jaden tilted his head slightly at an angle, considering the problem at hand. The duel was close, with both duelists having only 2500 life points left. The thought had occurred to him that the situation was about to get a little bit dangerous. He could hear his friends still fighting across the island – the muffling sensation was bad, but his buddies were really good at making noise, enough noise to partially cut through it. He wasn’t overly worried about losing.

Sure, losing would suck, but another one of his buddies would come in to back him up eventually. Jaden trusted that to be a fact. Still, winning would be nice, too. Stopping whatever that weird ‘world of darkness’ thing was in its tracks would probably be better to do sooner rather than later, and saving Yusuke would be great too. Jaden didn't know much about the guy, but he was a friend of Atticus and Zane. That meant by extension he was Jaden's friend as well. They just hadn't gotten the chance to know each other very well yet!

On the other hand, Clear Vicious Knight was a nasty card. Provided Yusuke didn't have any other cards on his field or in his hand, it had a once per turn effect to gain attack points equal to the highest attack power monster Jaden controlled as a quick effect. That meant even if he pumped Terra Firma up, Clear Vicious Knight would get bigger.

Ah…. what to do.

“Just bait the motherfucker! Then get bigger and swing, swing, swing!”

Phil’s voice sprang up unbidden in Jaden’s head, causing the boy to let slip a wry grin. Yeah, sure Phil. He didn’t have anything to bait it with though. His hand was empty and Terra Firma was the only monster on his field.

“Get three dark attribute monsters in the graveyard, summon Dark Armed Dragon, use its effect to destroy that worthless monster, then proceed to win.”

Chazz’s voice was next in the line of the memories of his friends. Jaden filed that one away in the back for later since he didn’t own a copy of Dark Armed Dragon. Nor did he have enough dark monsters in his deck to use it. He also wasn’t a dragon player. His deck was about super sweet heroes doing super rad hero things.

“Use your trap card?”

Jaden peeked at his one and only face down card on the field as Bastion’s solid advice followed Chazz’s less solid suggestion. Edge Hammer was a cool trap, one that let him sacrifice an Elemental Hero Bladedge on his field to destroy an opponent’s monster and inflict damage equal to the monster’s attack to their life points. The problem was Jaden’s Bladedge had fallen in battle five turns ago, which was about four turns before he drew Edge Hammer.

“A grilled cheese sandwich for these trying times?”

Normally Jaden would have agreed with Chumley’s suggestion, but a glance behind him revealed the location of his final pocket grilled cheese. It was currently disappearing very rapidly into Yubel’s mouth, the duel spirit chomping away at it with obvious pleasure filling their eyes. A worthy sacrifice, but it left him with no munchies to fuel his brain.

“Your hand’s empty, your field is a bit bleh right now, so what about your graveyard? Anything good there?”

Jaden’s eyes shot wide open. Now that was something good. Sending a little mental cheer of ‘thanks Alexis!’ for the bit of advice in his head that had revealed itself using her voice, he quickly thumbed through his graveyard. Nothing, nothing, nothing, some cool cards but ultimately nothing, – and then there was something.

“Alright, here goes!” Jaden cheerfully called out, causing Yusuke to sneer wordlessly. “You know, it’s funny how much Terra Firma has my back, even his counter traps are helping me out from the graveyard! I activate the effect of Protection of the Elements! Since I control Elemental Hero Terra Firma, I can banish this counter trap from the graveyard to special summon my fallen Elemental Hero Bladedge (2600/1800) in attack mode!”

This was it. Jaden hated to immediately sacrifice his hero, but Bladedge knew his duty. Despite his enjoyment of the duel, this was still a shadow game. If he could wrap this up here it meant there would be less pressure on the others.

“Next up! Lemme show you my trap card, Edge Hammer! Its effect is real simple, ya see. By sacrificing my Bladedge, I can destroy one of your monsters and deal damage to your life points equal to its attack!

Jaden: 2500 Yusuke: 200

Yusuke was forced to take a step back from the shockwave caused by Jaden’s stalwart golden hero stoically putting his all into one final attack that saw both Bladedge and Clear Vicious Knight fading into oblivion. For the first time since Jaden had destroyed Clear Vice Dragon, his opponent had furrowed brows.

Jaden’s grin widened and he pointed right at Yusuke.

"Looks like you're wide open dude! Strike through the void of space with the might of a planet! Yusuke, your duel spirit misses you, so Elemental Hero Terra Firma, clear out the darkness in his heart so he can be buddy-buddy with Honest again!”

The white-armored hero had a grimace of focus set on his face, his muscles bulging as his fists were readied to strike. When the attack finally landed, it was as if an entire planet itself was crashing into Yusuke’s body, flinging him backward several feet to land on the ground on his back.

For a moment time seemed to still. Yusuke had fallen. Jaden could hear his friends blitzing through the invaders his opponent had led onto the island. Soon enough the last one would fall. But what was this sense of uneasiness settling in his gut? It was an insidious whisper purring in his ear, murmuring in hushed tones that it wasn’t over yet.

Then the moon seemed to disappear. It was still there… probably? It was hard to tell for sure with how utterly jet-black the sky had become. The world somehow became… darker than it was before, if that was possible. One by one the shouting he could hear around the island faded. First the sound of Crowler’s rampaging Ancient Gear monsters fell away. Then the angelic choruses of Ms. Hibiki’s Darklords followed, falling completely silent. More and more voices faded away to nothing.

They all faded away to silence until only Jaden was left, staring in shock at Yusuke’s unconscious body. Because, while Yusuke was still unconscious, there was movement coming from his body. Shadows seeping upward into the air from his limbs like a stream flowing uphill. The shadows resembled a spirit, something that would have normally been spoken of only in ghost stories told in hushed voices around a campfire deep in the mountains. Two long, gangly arms ending in wicked sharp claws drifted down from a torso leaking pitch-black smoke, with robes of grey and red draped around it to give the creature more of a shape. Five wings sprouted from the monster’s back to beat at the air like the creature was raging at the very existence of the world itself.

The monster’s eyes were yellow and large, almost like searchlights attempting to pierce through Jaden’s skull to root through his brain. The primal part of Jaden’s heart, one normally buried deep under the niceties of civilization, cried out in pure fear. This was the darkness his ancient ancestors had cowered away in caves to avoid. This was nothing but death given form. An existence that wished to swallow the world.

Then Yubel’s wings closed around his body. It was as if a pair of sunglasses had been placed on his head. He could still see the creature through Yubel’s partially transparent wings, but it was through some sort of filter. Now the monster seemed like nothing but a raggedy man draped in thick bundles of black cloth with some wings bought from a Halloween store found in a mall near closing time. The aura of fear was still there, of course, but distant. Like he was watching all of this happen from the other side of a glass window or a TV screen. Safe.

“And thus there are two. The Darkness of the world… and you, oh foreign object. A blasphemous tumor, nothing but a maligned combination of human and duel spirit.”

The way the monster spoke, it was as if its voice was formed by countless fingernails scraping away at a chalkboard. It was enough to almost make Jaden’s ears bleed, if not for Yubel covering his ears with their hands to block out the worst of the effects.

“What happened?” Jaden swung his head to and fro. “Where is everyone? Sy? Chum? Chazz? Phil? Bastion? Can you hear me?”

The monster hoarsely chuckled. “They are gone. Nothing but feeble souls pulled into the World of Darkness. There they shall fall. Nothing but fading leaves at the end of summer, weighed down to the ground under the might of their own failures where they shall decompose to nothing. A natural part of life, truly. I am Darkness, and as I say, so it shall be.”

Jaden opened his mouth to retort… but before he could get a single word out, he simply smiled, pointing to something behind the monster.

Darkness tilted its head, casting a glance behind it.

It was a circle in the air. Situated about two feet off the ground, it glowed blue under the suffocating blanket of the darkness summoned by the monster’s arrival.

A hand barely reached out of the portal, swatting away at the cool night air. Eventually it closed up into a fist with only the middle finger sticking out.

“Nice. I think it worked this time.” A familiar voice floated out of the circle. Soon after, a familiar head poked out of it. “Sup Jaden.” Phil poked the rest of his arm out of the circle to wave to his friend before disappearing back to the other side.

“Yup, it worked.”

“Of course it worked.” Bastion’s voice floated out next as his and Phil’s unseen conversation continued. “We poured every ounce of our willpower into its creation.”

Phil’s head poked back out on Jaden’s side of the circle. The rest of his body followed, along with the forms of Bastion and Chazz.

“Damn.” Phil muttered, looking around the area, “Who blew up the moon? I don’t even see it up there. Wasn’t the moon a full one just a bit ago?”

Jaden shrugged. “Hey. I wasn’t expecting this freaky dude to pop out of nowhere and do magic stuff. I was hoping once Yusuke went down it would be over. Well, it was a pretty sweet duel all things considered. Is everything alright on the other side?”

Phil waved a dismissive hand in the air. “Yeah, no problem. Crowler and Hibiki cleaned up fast over there. Then Bastion, Lumina, and Banner reverse-engineered the magic junk that dude used to zap us over. Took ‘em a good five or so minutes, not bad in my book. Anyway, you want a break, dude? Or do ya’ got more in the tank?”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

Jaden nodded his assent. He could go one more round in the ring if need be, but now that his friends were here there was little point in overstretching himself.

“Party time.” Phil said, extending his fist to bump against Bastion’s own, fierce grins mirrored on both of their faces.

Jaden stepped away and Phil took his place standing before Darkness. Meanwhile, Chazz and Bastion moved to stand next to their friend in the red.

“I’m up next if he dies.” Chazz suddenly commented. The only indicator that this was a joke was a faint smile on the boy’s face.

“Ah, I’ll go after Chazz.” Bastion followed up with a smirk and a halfway-raised hand.

“Yeah, yeah.” Phil waved his hand in a ‘pish-posh’ manner. “One turn. That’s all I need. Gotta let loose some pent-up anger stored up from the last time this place got invaded.”

“Arrogance.” Darkness sneered. Five cards shot out of the night sky to settle in his hand while Phil readied his own duel disk.

“Damn right!” Phil crowed back, “I’m gonna beat your ass so hard you’ll need therapy! I’m gonna give the darkness a whole set of nightmares, Phil-style!”

Phil: 4000 Darkness: 4000

“I’ll take the first turn!”

Both Phil and Darkness stared at each other, having said those words at the same time.

“Flip for it?” Phil suggested, withdrawing a 5-yen coin that shined with the color of burnished gold.

“…Acceptable.” Darkness replied.

“Nice. I call heads on account of this being my coin. It was a gift, ya know. Right from Kaiba along with a pack of Cuban Cigars. Too bad Hibiki freaked out and confiscated the Cubanos.” Phil said wistfully. “Threw them straight into the sea. Anyway, if this coin was good enough for that seer, it’s good enough for me.”

Before anyone could ask him exactly why Kaiba gifted him a 5-yen coin and a pack of Cuban cigars, Phil let out a cocky grin and tossed the coin into the air. It tumbled through the darkness as smoothly as a hot knife through butter, flipping over and over until it landed on Phil’s outstretched hand. He slapped it onto the back of his other palm and then moved his hand away to reveal the result.

“Heads. Get fucked.” Phil grinned.

Darkness remained ominously silent, so Phil grabbed his starting hand of five cards out of his duel disk before drawing a sixth card to start his turn.

"Here we go," Phil muttered and moved the cards around in his hand to keep them in a sorted fashion. “Startin’ things off, here’s Swap Frog (1000/500)!” Phil revealed the yellow and red frog card in his hand, tossing another frog card to the graveyard to special summon it in defense position.

“Swap Frog’s gonna send Ronintoadin from my deck to the graveyard on summon. Then I activate Swap’s second effect to return to my hand, which I will immediately invalidate by discarding Poison Draw Frog to special summon Swap Frog again. Swap Frog, show off your effect again! Pitch me a Dupe Frog!”

Darkness began to speak once Swap Frog hit the field for a second time, but Phil continued to speak, talking over the monster like it didn’t even exist.

“Spell card, Into the Void, activate! Since I have at least three cards in my hand, I can draw one card! Then I’ll follow that up with another spell card by the name of Dark World Dealings! We both draw one card and discard one card!”

Over and over Phil continued to draw. Dark World Dealings turned into a Pot of Greed, which gave him a Graceful Charity, which was followed up by a Card Destruction that Phil started out with in his original hand. That draw effect was turned into two more Into the Voids, a Moray of Greed (which shuffled two Ronintoadens from his hand back into the deck to draw three cards), and several more cards with ‘drawing’ effects until finally Phil’s graveyard was stuffed full of frogs – and he’d drawn just the cards he was searching for all this time.

“One for One, activate! This spell card allows me to discard Swap Frog from my hand to special summon any one level one monster from my hand or deck. Come on out, Substitoad (100/2000)!”

A toad, half pink, half black, dully croaked its way onto the field. On its back was an angel wing and a demon wing, too small to give the creature flight, but still large enough to flutter apathetically in the windless night.

“Next up…” Phil’s grin widened to nearly inhuman proportions. “Allow me to reveal the sign of your doom. Continuous spell card, Mass Driver, activates!”

In one smooth movement the half-and-half toad hopped into the air as a huge, futuristic laser cannon emerged from the ground under its feet. Substitoad landed on top of it, posing like an artillery captain about to bombard an enemy until it was nothing but a smoking piece of flesh baking underneath the afternoon sun in a length of muddy trenches.

“Ronintoaden’s graveyard effect activates! Banishing Swap Frog from the grave, Ronin springs to life on my field! Swiftly followed by the first of many plays of the game, Mass Driver! By sacrificing Ronintoaden, I can inflict 400 points of damage to your life points!”

Phil: 4000 Darkness: 3600

“Again!”

Phil: 4000 Darkness: 3200

“Again!”

Phil: 4000 Darkness: 2800

Frogs were summoned one after another only to be instantly loaded into the Mass Driver and shot right toward Darkness. Again. And again. And again.

2400

2000

1600

1200

800

400

Phil: 4000 Darkness: 0

Substitoad sacrificed its own life to load the final blast that tore through the last of Darkness’s life points, along with the creature’s head. Underneath the fading remnants of Darkness’s body, the earth rippled like a rock thrown in the middle of a pond. It rippled and then parted, revealing a brief flash of snapping, froggy jaws that lunged out, tore through the rest of Darkness, and disappeared in the blink of an eye.

“Right.” Phil looked around, at the howling laughter of Jaden, the shocked look on Chazz’s face, and the studious gaze from Bastion. The darkness of the night was fading already, the moon returning to bathe the small group under its light. “What now? Does he have a phase three, or are we golden?”

“Well…” Jaden glanced at the shimmering blue portal, “Is everyone alright on the other side?”

Phil reassuringly waved his hand. "Yeah. As I said, the teachers cleaned everything up real fast. When I was leaving, Kaiba was working on putting a duelist on the moon. Well, on that dark world's version of the moon. Just to see if any aliens want to learn how to duel.”

It was true. Duel Academy had thrown off the invasion without a single death or serious injury. Compared to similar events that had happened in the past, it almost seemed too good to be true. But it was.

“We also set up a second portal to Domino City.” Bastion added, tearing his gaze away from the fading holograms of Phil’s cards. “Anyone who is still there remains only because they want to be.”

“Milkshakes sound good?” Phil questioned the group. “I think the rest of the homies are already on their way to Domino. We can probably catch up with them real quick.”

“Yeah! Milkshakes!” Jaden cheered. Behind him, almost unnoticed, a look of excitement flashed across Yubel’s face before it was quickly stifled. Meanwhile, Bastion carefully collected Yusuke’s unconscious body over his and Chazz’s shoulders, to give him to the doctors in Domino City as soon as possible so that his recovery was swift.

“That sounds… acceptable.” Yubel eventually replied.

The group made their way back through the portal. The other side was as expected of a world of darkness. Gloomy with thick, almost suffocating air. It was near-impossible to see further than half a mile in any direction due to the dim atmosphere, though occasional flashes of light popped up at random in the distance. Lumina was waiting for them in the center of a large cluster of portals. Each portal faced another, turned slightly so that they created circles upon circles, as if the groupings of portals were nothing but small parts of a larger art installation meant to be observed from a bird's eye view.

With a slight start of surprise, Phil noted that Lumina didn’t seem to be invisible to the rest of the group as she normally preferred to be, but before he could say anything she proudly patted the portal nearest to her right on its highest point.

“This one goes right to the heart of Domino City.” Lumina proudly explained.

“The rest?” Phil nodded toward the other glowing blue circles.

“All across the world. Kaiba wanted one for each country since whichever weirdo supervillain attacked us this time teleported everyone in the world to this junk pile of a realm.”

Phil made a noise of understanding. It made sense, considering how many people had been randomly milling around even while the science team of Bastion and the homies were working away like a team of industrious ants trying to get those portals to work.

“Well, shall we?” Phil asked. Lumina simply smiled and stepped through the portal to Domino City, with the rest of the group following her in short order. The world Phil stepped out into was like a planet ablaze with light, even though it was still the middle of the night. Lights were strung up between shops, over streetlights, around signs, and even up skyscrapers like it was Christmas.

People were walking up and down the streets. Talking, laughing, and hugging. All were grateful that this… event, this proof that literal dark magic actually existed and was willing to mess with their lives was finally over. It was finally over and kept mercifully short.

Uncountable numbers of familiar faces from Duel Academy filled the crowd. All of them were battle-worn, as they had been dueling with their lives on the line all night, never backing down an inch in the face of the invaders, of what they stood for. Still they talked and laughed, showing off battle scars earned in vicious shadow duels, new cards won from terrible opponents, and off-the-cuff strategies thought up in the most terrifying parts of the fray.

All around the bustling square there were wooden tables deployed by shrewd shopkeepers taking advantage of the massive crowds. Folding tables bending under the weight of ice chests filled to the brim with ice cream so cold it caused the nearby air to fog up a little bit, picnic tables with so many plates of sizzling hamburgers fresh off the grill that even a single centimeter of wood couldn’t be seen. There were pots half the size of grown men filled with savory noodles with so many choices for toppings nearby that it was almost too much to decide which flavor to go for – salty? Savory? Spicy? Or all three?

Carefully seasoned slabs of pork and chicken spun on long spits over roaring fires. Pies, meant to be sold the next day in the town square, were eagerly pulled from the storerooms by shop owners shouting that ‘they couldn’t let a party like this go by without their famous pie!’.

However, that was only half of it. Large squads of men in freshly pressed black suits, of which the only spot of other color being a sharp blue Kaiba Corp button pinned on their chests over their hearts were deployed all over the square, in the alleys, in the streets, even in many of the buildings that had thrown open their doors to accommodate crowds the size that made Times Square in New York City seconds before the ball dropped on New Year's Eve look like a joke.

Groaning tables piled high with steaks grilled up by Kaiba Corp employees were littered around buildings in between hot-blooded duelists powered by the energy of the event challenging each other to impromptu duels while their friends gorged themselves on the seemingly infinite supply of delicious food. Each question voiced about a bill or payment was met with shaking heads, waved hands, and reassurances that Seto Kaiba himself was funding the entire event.

Behind the countless tables, the earnest shouts of workers could be heard, men and women wearing white chef’s aprons running between puffing grills, baking-hot ovens, and even several temporary campfires made with stones so that cooks could match the sheer output this improvised and unexpected event demanded. The sweet and savory smells drifted up into the air, mixing in ways that somehow complemented each other despite the foods themselves being quite different in taste. The scent alone was tantalizing. It was enough to potentially convince even the most hardened ascetic monk to renounce his vows and rediscover his love for the culinary side of life.

“Milkshakes! Come to me!” Phil shouted excitedly, “I need to freeze my tiny brain solid, the faster the better!”

It took Bastion mere seconds to find the table where everyone else was already sitting. They had made their prediction well, clearly guessing milkshakes were what Phil would immediately zone in on after a good duel. After that, it was only a matter of guessing exactly which milkshake table he would choose, as there were many. Once again they chose the right one, correctly assuming that Phil would also take the laziest choice of whatever was closest upon leaving the world of darkness. The table closest to the portal was busy, but it was also being managed by the owner of the ice cream shop on the square. Even though the shop was close by, the business-savvy owner had seen the wisdom in joining the crowd right in the thick of it.

“I gotta double-triple-quadruple mega ice cream sunday ready to rock and roll!” The boss of the table called out the order from where he labored behind countless crates of different ice cream flavors, toppings, and gallon-sized jugs of milk. The treat itself was tall enough that if it sat on the ground, the very top of the creation would stretch up to Phil’s chest.

“I didn’t think he would actually make one…” Chumley murmured in awe before he noticed Phil’s group and gave a big shout of joy, waving his heart out at them.

The rest of the group at the table quickly followed suit. Syrus jumped up and ran over to Jaden to jump up and chest bump him. Jaden obliged by running forward and returning the gesture as hard as he could, knocking Syrus several feet backward and into the air.

Alexis carefully accepted the ice cream sunday from the cheerful man, placing it down on their end of the table and shouting to everyone else to ‘dig in, because I sure as heck can’t finish this myself!’

Princess Rose ignored the food in favor of running to Phil in a very dignified, princess-like way. “My princes said you did something ridiculous today, Sir Phil.”

Phil shrugged and accepted an offered milkshake, slurping up about a quarter of it in one go before letting loose a deep, satisfied sigh.

"Damn that hit the spot. I sure did Rose. I can show you how to do it later if you want. I will warn you in advance, it's kinda boring. One of those things that is neat to see or do the first two times but after that it’s the same thing over and over again.”

Rose mimicked Phil’s shrug, her head quickly darting around Phil’s shoulder to the straw of the milkshake clutched tightly in Phil’s hands so she could steal a few gulps in a rather unprincess-like manner. Once Phil indignantly slapped her head away from his precious font of frozen life, she giggled and nodded her head.

“This princess will accept your offer, Sir Phil. That strategy shall only be used in the direst of situations.”

“Mhm. Good.” Phil smiled as they walked over to the table to take a seat next to Bastion. “You see, the main thing is getting Mass Driver in your hand and an assload of frogs in the grave to use as fuel for Ronintoaden. Then you…”

The city-wide party continued throughout the night, only pausing for the barest of moments once dawn revealed its wonder over the horizon for all to see. It was only the barest of moments, though. Once everyone present finished appreciating the sight, a high-ranking Kaiba Corp employee jumped up on top of a table, led the entire city in a toast, and declared the celebration to never stop, not until the last man dropped!

Thus the festivities lasted the entire week; a celebration of joyful faces spanning an entire city bathed in the golden rays of the sun and the silver gleam of the moon.