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A Frog Out Of Water - Yu-Gi-Oh GX
Chapter 52 - A Gambling Town Called Reno

Chapter 52 - A Gambling Town Called Reno

“-ke up! Phil! You have to get up!”

Phil shakily opened his eyes to the sound of Lumina yelling in his ear.

“Wha?”

“Phil! No time! Get your stuff and run! Men are walking around to inspect the train!"

His eyes shot wide open as Lumina’s words sent a massive spike of pure adrenaline coursing through his body. Phil cursed and leaped to his feet. Being discovered here… that would be bad. It would mean a trespassing charge, which would then get turned into an illegal immigration issue since he didn’t have any form of ID. He looked around frantically. Stuff, stuff, where’s my damn stuff…

The grocery bag backpack and a can of beans that must’ve rolled out of his bag during the chaos of the duel. Phil took a moment to appreciate the surprisingly sturdy creation of his before looping the plastic straps around his shoulders. If the bag had broken? Well, that would have been nearly the worst-case scenario. Doubly so, Phil figured as the sound of approaching voices filtered into his ears.

Time to get the fuck out of dodge.

Phil carefully peeked over the side of the coal car he was in to get a handle on the situation. Three men, two of them wearing police uniforms while the third looked like some sort of train conductor, were walking by each car of the unmoving train. They took a few seconds to peer over the sides of the cars to review the contents and then continued on to the next one. Phil carefully moved to the other side of the coal car and hoisted himself over the side to drop to the ground.

Then, keeping low to the ground so he could see the feet of the men poking out from under the train cars, Phil ran as fast as he dared across the train yard towards the town in the distance.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Phil walked into the town feeling rather impressed with it all. It had appeared to be some sort of desert-like town when he saw it from a distance, and once Phil read the sign stating it was Reno, Nevada, he was proven right.

A few skyscrapers were reaching into the sky, but they were nowhere near as tall as the ones he had seen in Domino City. Mostly the city seemed dominated by a large number of places to gamble your life away amid the dry, arid scrubland that surrounded the city.

“So.” Phil sat down with a huff on the first slightly shade-covered bench he saw.

“So.” Lumina replied, sitting next to him with an equally exhausted huff.

“How long was I out? All I remember is that tunnel coming out of nowhere, ducking to avoid it, and Dimitri not reacting in time.”

“Dimitri’s foot clipped your head pretty hard on his way off the train. Knocked you out good. The duel spirits of Bokoichi and Dekoichi got bored and left the train soon after that. I’m assuming they were being powered by the duel and couldn’t sustain their existence in the mortal world when it ended. Once the spirits left, the train transformed back to its normal state. It stopped moving around… what was this city called again?”

“Reno.”

“Yes. It stopped moving around Reno. That group of men that were checking the cars came over soon after the train stopped.”

“And… Dimitri?”

“I don’t know how, but the last time I saw the poor kid he looked half-dead and was struggling to stand up. Frankly, I still can’t believe that he survived being thrown from the train. We must have been going at least a good hundred miles per hour. It had to have been because of Dark Necrofear. You humans are too fragile.”

Phil leaned his head against the back of the bench and softly cursed under his breath. “I shoulda’ just played Paleofrogs and said to fuck with what it does to me. If I had more time, Chaos Warriors would have pulled in the win, but it took too long to navigate through his stall cards. Poor kid. Shit. He didn’t even seem to be able to tell what was real and what was not.”

“But then you probably wouldn’t have been in the shape to sneak out of the train when those guys were searching through it.” Lumina reminded Phil.

He knocked his head against the back of the bench and closed his eyes. “Yeah. Fair point.” Phil stood and stretched his arms out with a groan. “Good thing I also checked the Reno train schedule while I was in Sacramento. If, for some reason, the train I was on earlier does not continue on its way, there’s a connection leaving the city tomorrow around noon that should take me up near St. Louis. It’s hard to say for sure what will happen, though. Those guys that were checking the train… they might have been checking for damage. Trains normally are not supposed to go as fast as ours did when it was possessed, so the speed might have caused some problems. The dudes in the police uniforms also make me think that either Dimitri or I could have been seen on top of the train, or that one of the staff got hurt. Actually, on second thought it might be best to wait for the train tomorrow. I don’t feel comfortable taking a train that has the authorities paying attention to it.”

“I see…” Lumina muttered unhelpfully. “By the way, that guy’s been staring at you for an uncomfortably long time.”

Phil raised his eyebrows and questioned Lumina while making sure not to move his head. “Which one?”

“The dude wearing the cowboy hat in the window of that bar across the road.” Lumina replied and pointed the man out.

“Gotcha. I see him.” Phil moved his eyes to glance at the man in the window. “Oh, and he’s waving. He’s got a duel disk, too.”

Phil lifted himself off the bench with a sigh. “Might as well see what he wants since I’m gonna wait on the train. If it turns out he wants a duel, doing it in the bar sounds better than another damned train duel.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Phil slid into the cool interior of the bar and immediately made a beeline for the man in the cowboy hat.

"Howdy." The man slid a sleazy grin across his face and waved Phil cheerfully over to the table he sat at near the window.

Phil cautiously stepped over and waited for the cowboy man to elaborate.

“The name’s Conspicuous Sam.” He drawled and chewed on a wooden toothpick. “I see you have a duel disk, and you definitely ain’t from around here.”

“And why do you care?” Phil replied.

“Because the good ol’ boss man told me that he got a hot tip about some stranger from Duel Academy comin’ across the sea to mess with his operation. I got me some orders to stop that from happening, you see. Now, I’ve been sitting here since a buddy of mine told me that he foresaw someone interesting coming through town. He’s a psychic, you see. All that mind mumbo jumbo bullcrap. He said, ‘Sam, ol’ buddy ol’ pal, best get yerself over to Reno. The weirdo that the big boss got tipped off about should be there in a few months.’ So, I hopped on a plane and’ve been here since.”

Conspicuous Sam took a satisfied drink out of the glass of alcohol laid out before him. “And here you are.”

“You’re here on Tragoedia’s orders?” Phil confirmed and took a seat at the table.

“Yuppers.”

Conspicuous Sam then snapped his fingers with a jaunty expression, causing the lights in the bar to dim as the shadows began to swirl and whisper around the two duelists.

“Sorry fella, as much as I’d like to have a few drinks with you and share a few jokes, ol’ Sam’s got a job to do.”

Phil: 4000 Conspicuous Sam: 4000

“Oh, for fucks sake.” Phil muttered as he drew his starting hand. “Two shadow duels in a row. How hard is it to get some bloody peace and quiet?”

Conspicuous Sam nodded with a wry grin. “Darn tootin.” He walked over to the bar counter and swiped a full glass of liquor from the shaking bartender. “Ya know, summer’s supposed to be a vacation for people like me. It seriously wasn’t my idea to head out for a work trip. Though,” Conspicuous Sam shrugged lightly, “the gambling’s been fun here.”

“Did not ask, do not care.” Phil responded in irritation. “I’ll take the first turn. I summon Blade Knight (1600/1000) in attack position, set three cards face down, and end my turn.”

His opponent let out an impressed whistle as the knight in shining armor appeared with a roar of challenge.

“Hey hey, starting things out real rough, huh? Why not take the duel easy? Enjoy a gamble or two?” Conspicuous Sam took a long swig from the glass he stole and grinned. "I activate the spell card Cup of Ace! I get to do a little flippy of my coin, and that determines if I draw two cards or if you do. Come to Papa!"

A bright golden coin danced between the cowboy’s fingers. It was as large as a quarter, but the color of the object made Phil think of something more similar to an older coin made from gold that was used in some sort of ancient civilization.

“Woohoo!” Conspicuous Sam hollered in joy as the coin landed on heads. “I draw two cards! And now, it’s time to rig the odds just a little bit further in my favor. I activate the continuous spell card Second Coin Toss, which allows me to redo one coin toss per turn if I don’t like the results! Then I’ll go ahead and summon Gambler of Legend (500/1400) in defense position. Now, the thing about this gamblin’ fella is that he’s a man after my own heart. I activate his effect, which allows me to toss a coin three times and apply an effect according to how many heads and tails I get! Oh, and it gets better, since if I use Second Coin Toss’s effect on something that makes me toss multiple coins, I get to redo all the tosses!”

Conspicuous Sam’s voice grew louder and more energetic with each word as he readied his golden coin.

“One heads!”

“Two heads!”

“One tails!”

He narrowed his eyes dramatically. “Welp partner, it’s not the best outcome but I’ll keep it. Two heads and one tails means that I get to make you discard a random card from your hand.”

Phil emotionlessly discarded the card Conspicuous Sam pointed to.

“I think I’ll finish things up by placing two cards face down. I end my turn.”

“I draw.” Phil muttered. He glanced at his graveyard. The Exiled Force would have been nice to have around, but it wasn’t a necessary card in order to win. “I summon D.D. Warrior Lady (1500/1600) in attack position. Since I have one card left in my hand, Blade Knight gains 400 attack points. D.D. Warrior Lady, attack the Gambler of Legend!”

‘Ohoho!” Conspicuous Sam laughed loudly. “I activate both of my face down continuous trap cards! Lucky Punch and Proton Blast! Once per turn, when you declare an attack, I get to toss a coin three times. If I get three heads, I get to draw three cards. Three tails, and I take 6000 points of damage to my life points. Proton Blast, on the other hand, lets me activate different effects each time I get heads when I do a coin toss.”

Phil’s eyes flashed with understanding. “Sorry to say, but in response to the activation of Proton Blast, I activate my face-down Mystical Space Typhoon, targeting the Proton Blast!”

Conspicuous Sam scowled as one of his traps was destroyed before it could resolve, but he eventually pulled out his coin and began flipping for Lucky Punch.

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“One heads!”

“One tails.” Conspicuous Sam’s face fell in disappointment.

“And one heads… you know what, I’ll go ahead and use Second Coin Toss to try again!”

Phil rolled his eyes as his opponent went for the second try.

“One tails. Dagnab it.”

“Two tails…”

Conspicuous Sam’s face fell even further. “Damn it all. Come’on Betsy! You can do it! Give daddy just one heads!”

The coin flashed in the dim light of the bar as Conspicuous Sam threw it higher in the air than he had in any of the previous tosses. The coin landed on his wrist, and he slapped it onto the back of his hand…

The cowboy let out a wild whooping noise.

“Heads! Thanks a’ million Betsy!”

Phil rolled his eyes and let out a noise of disgust as D.D. Warrior Lady destroyed the Gambler of Legend and his Blade Knight swung at his opponent directly for 2000 points of damage.

Phil: 4000 Conspicuous Sam: 2000

“Pass turn.”

“Awww ain’t you just a sweetie.” Conspicuous Sam drawled and began his turn. “I normal summon Twin-Barrel Dragon (1700/200), which will activate its effect to toss a coin! If I get two heads, I get to blow up one of your cards. Twin-Barrel Dragon! Lock your guns onto Blade Knight!”

Once more the golden coin flashed through the gathering shadows.

“Heads numero uno!”

“Heads numero dos!”

As soon as the second coin toss was finished, the two-legged blue machine on Conspicuous Sam's field moved its head, which was literally just a large twin-barreled derringer pistol, to fire at Blade Knight. Two shots were all it took to completely destroy Phil’s monster.

“Now! Twin-Barrel Dragon, destroy D.D. Warrior Lady!”

Phil simply shrugged in the face of the attack. “Whatever. D.D. Warrior Lady’s effect activates to banish both her and your monster after damage calculation.”

Phil: 3800 Conspicuous Sam: 2000

“Damn shame.” Conspicuous Sam muttered crestfallenly. “I place one card face down and end my turn.”

Phil drew a card while his opponent reached behind the counter to reveal a bottle of vodka larger than a grown man’s head to drink.

“I summon Breaker the Magical Warrior (1600/1000), and activate his effect to put a spell counter on him for a 300-point attack boost. That attack boost won’t stick, however, because I activate his other effect to remove a spell counter and destroy your face down card.”

The red-armored knight on Phil’s field let loose a wicked grin, pointing its sword at the face down card in question and blasting it with a beam of purple energy to reveal the fading form of the Fairy Box continuous trap.

“Breaker, do me a solid and attack this idiot directly!”

Conspicuous Sam flashed a grin in the face of Breaker’s descending sword strike. “Ah ah ah, that triggers my Lucky Punch!”

Yet, the draw three was not fated to happen this turn as ‘Betsy’ the golden coin proceeded to betray Conspicuous Sam twice in a row, with only one heads toss to save him. Just like the previous attempt, he also declined to use Second Coin Toss’s effect on Lucky Punch.

Phil: 3800 Conspicuous Sam: 400

“Marvelous!” Conspicuous Sam wheezed out the words between bloody breaths. He took multiple gulps of vodka from the large container in his hands, using it to steady himself amid all the physical damage brought by the shadow duel. “It feels like I’m trapped in an unrelenting barrage of strikes! Barely able to keep up, even with my lucky little ringer Betsy backing me up! Haha, lad, you must’ve had a fun time on the train ride here. Hell, I wonder if I’m just plain lettin’ you down. Can’t have that, can I? I activate Monster Reborn to resurrect my Gambler of Legend once more! Betsy, it’s time to rock and roll. I activate the effect of Gambler of Legend. Gimme those heads baybeee!”

Phil watched on with narrowed eyes as Conspicuous Sam tossed the first of the three coins. He had a bad feeling about how cheerful his opponent was despite being on the losing side of things for nearly the entire duel. Either Lady Luck was about to be incredibly stupid, or Conspicuous Sam was about to cheat.

“One tails! Two heads!” The cheerful cowboy declared. “That won’t do, not at all. Betsy, you gotta do better, partner. I activate the effect of Second Coin Toss to try again.”

“One heads!”

Phil’s head bobbed up and down as he closely watched the arc of each and every coin flip.

“Two heads!”

“That makes three heads, brother!”

Conspicuous Sam flashed a set of pearly white teeth. “And you know what that means? Gambler of Legend gets to destroy all monsters you control. It’s only one, but hey, one is better than none! Now that you lack monsters to defend yourself with, I sacrifice Gambler of Legend to tribute summon Blowback Dragon (2300/1200). Blowback! Activate your coin toss effect!”

The air hummed and whined as another metallic beast, one that looked strikingly familiar to the earlier Twin-Barrel Dragon, appeared on the field with a roar of anger. Phil hesitated, but eventually, he signaled that the summon and the effect activation were both okay.

Conspicuous Sam’s coin flew into the air a total of three times as the gunhead of the dragon pointed right towards one of Phil's face down cards.

“Two heads and one tails.” Conspicuous Sam grinned at the results. “Blowback Dragon, send my friend’s face down card straight to the shadow realm!”

Phil rolled his eyes and sent the face down Sakuretsu Armor trap to the graveyard.

“Blowback Dragon, strike at my dastardly opponent! Hit him real good!”

“Nope.” Phil narrowed his eyes and flipped over another one of his face down cards. “Mirror Force. Your monster goes bye-bye.”

Conspicuous Sam grimaced. “Hm. Shame. I’ll pass turn over to you, then.”

“I draw.” Phil glanced at his cards. The main problem left on the field was Lucky Punch. If Conspicuous Sam got lucky enough to draw three cards, there could always be a chance for him to see a monster with an effect in the hand to prevent damage, like Yugi’s Kuriboh or Syrus’s Kiteroid. Unfortunately, there was little Phil could do about that slight chance at this point in time.

“Fine. I banish the light attribute Blade Knight and the dark attribute Breaker the Magical Warrior from my graveyard to special summon Chaos Sorcerer (2300/2000) in attack position.” Phil eventually decided. “Chaos Sorcerer, attack directly! Finish this game!”

“Woah! Hey there! Hey hey hey!” Conspicuous Sam shouted and raised his hands. “Lemme see what Lucky Punch has to say about that. Betsy, gimme them three heads please!”

Both duelists watched with bated breath as the golden coin was flipped for what was potentially the final three times.

“One tails…” Phil muttered. That fact alone instantly put the situation out of the woods.

“Two tails, and that makes three.” Conspicuous Sam finished. “Welp, that sucks. Second Coin Toss, do your thing. Let’s try for round two.”

“Damn. I forgot about that annoying card.” Phil’s eyes widened as the realization hit him square in the forehead, that his opponent had an extra chance to turn everything around.

“One heads! Two heads! Three heads let’s gooooo!!!!”

Conspicuous Sam jumped up and down before taking a victory swig of his drink and drawing three cards.

“Ha. Perfect! During the damage calculation, I activate the effect of Kuriboh, discarding it to stop any and all damage from this particular battle!”

Before Phil could even blink, a bundle of brown fur and green arms hurled itself in between the blast of white and purple light shot from Chaos Sorcerer’s hands and Conspicuous Sam. The bundle exploded into an unfocused cloud of scorched fur, and the cowboy’s life points were left unharmed.

“Looks like I still have one more turn to see some serious luck!” Conspicuous Sam said once Phil set a card face down and ended his turn. "First off, I activate the effect of a monster in my hand, Couple of Aces! I'm gonna toss a coin, and if it's heads, this sweet card-sharkin' couple gets summoned to my side of the field. If tails, then you get them, partner.” Conspicuous Sam grinned and quickly flipped his golden coin in the air to reveal a heads result.

“Nice. I’ll special summon Couple of Aces (100/100) in defense position. Then, I activate its effect. Since Couple of Aces was special summoned by its effect, I get to draw two cards.”

Conspicuous Sam’s eyes widened with glee. “Damn son. I’ve been betting my life on so many coin flips today, seems like fate’s decided I need a change of pace. I summon Roulette Barrel (1000/2000) in defense position and activate its effect!”

A mechanical gun barrel that looked more like an anti-aircraft gun mounted on a turquoise metal platform rose out from under the wooden floor of the bar as Conspicuous Sam began to explain its effect.

“Here’s the deal. I’m gonna roll a six-sided die two times. I’ll then choose one of the two results and destroy a monster on the field that has the same level as that chosen result. Netty, would ya mind giving me a good ol’ sixer so I can drop that damned Chaos Sorcerer?”

Similar to the ‘Betsy’ coin that was used earlier, ‘Netty’ the six-sided die was completely golden in color, causing it to flash fancily in the dim light of the bar as Conspicuous Sam threw it down the bar counter to roll to a stop about ten feet away from him. The motion was then repeated after the cowboy flicked his wrist to summon the die back to his hand to roll again.

“Ohhh, that’s gonna be a four and a one. No sense in killing my own level four Roulette Barrel, so I’ll choose the ‘one’ result. Shame, but hey, maybe that was Netty taking care of my bad luck before I activate my next card. Polymerization! Show me the goods! I send Barrel Dragon and my second copy of Blowback dragon to the graveyard to fusion summon Gatling Dragon (2600/1200) in attack position! Gatling Dragon, activate your effect! I’ll make a total of three coin tosses and destroy a monster on the field for each delicious heads that I get!”

‘Netty’ the die was swiftly exchanged for ‘Betsy’ the coin. Conspicuous Sam let it flash through the air three times, frowning as he got three tails and activated the effect of Second Coin Toss to try again. The second attempt proved to be far more successful but in the slight favor of both players.

"Two heads… interesting." Conspicuous Sam wryly scratched his chin. "Alright. I can work with that. Gatling Dragon, aim shot number one at Chaos Sorcerer and shot number two towards Roulette Barrel. It's a shame to lose it, but there isn't much I can do since the effect's mandatory. Now. Gatling Dragon! Attack my opponent directly!”

“Phil! Watch out!” Lumina shouted anxiously from the sidelines.

The spiked wheels of the three-headed metal monstrosity rumbled as the gatling guns that served as noses for the beast revved up once more after eliminating Chaos Sorcerer and Roulette Barrel. However, just as the monster was about to strike, Phil spoke up.

“Naw mate fuck that. I activate the effect of my spell card. Scapegoat! Reveal yourselves, my fuzzy friends!”

Right in the nick of time, the barrage of gunshots was intercepted by one of the four brightly colored fluffy goat monsters Phil summoned to defend himself.

“Fine by me.” Conspicuous Sam shrugged. “I throw down a face down card and end my turn.”

“Draw card.” Phil looked thoughtfully around the field. He still lacked a way to remove Lucky Punch or the face down card that his opponent had slapped down at the end of his last turn, but at least the Gatling Dragon wasn’t much of a threat. At least, not when his next card came into play. “Since I still have three level one Sheep Tokens left on the field, I activate the spell card Metamorphosis! I send the orange Sheep Token to the graveyard to special summon the level one fusion monster from my extra deck, Thousand-Eyes Restrict (0/0) in attack position! Thousand-Eyes Restrict! Give Gatling Dragon the super suck!”

The orange fluffy sheep on Phil’s field exploded with an unholy scream of pain. Its guts wiggled and twisted to form multiple leering eyes as a terrible eldritch monstrosity floated out of the smoke caused by the shadow game. One giant eye stalk ending with a golden orb that looked strikingly familiar to the Millennium Eye poked out from where the creature’s head would normally be, and a circular gaping maw of teeth and hunger filled its chest. Once Phil gave the order to activate its effect, swirling lines of wind could be seen rushing through the air as the metallic beast was dragged into the toothy mouth with the irresistible force of a black hole.

Thousand-Eyes Restrict (2600/1200).

“Now that Thousand-Eyes Restrict has gained attack points equal to what Gatling Dragon had on the field, I move to my battle phase.” Phil calmly called out. “Thousand-Eyes Restrict! Attack for game!”

“You wish, partner!” Conspicuous Sam called out. “I activate the effect of Lucky Punch, and I also flip over my quick-play spell Roulette Spider, which will allow me to roll sweet Netty one last time and apply an effect depending on the number I see.”

Conspicuous Sam narrowed his eyes as the golden die revealed its roll to be a three. “Shame. That would normally redirect your attack to a different monster I control, but I sadly don’t have any monsters since you stole my Gatling Dragon. Right. Betsy, would you be a dear and let me draw another Kuriboh? Ain’t no gambling halls in the Shadow Realm, so it’d be a shame to end the day stuck in there.”

Phil watched with bated breath as ‘Betsy’ the coin sparkled in the warm light three times in a row.

“One heads!” Conspicuous Sam counted out. “One tails. And two tails. Second Coin Toss, do your thing!”

Lumina began to bite at her nails with anxiety as she watched Phil’s opponent flip the final three coin tosses.

“One heads!”

Phil’s eyes narrowed to tiny pinpricks.

“Two heads!”

Lumina couldn’t help herself. She grabbed a nearby drink that definitely wasn’t hers and took a gulp to fortify herself.

The coin flashed into the air, flying far higher than any of the previous coin tosses Conspicuous Sam had made in the past. The arc was beautiful, and Phil could almost swear that he could hear the faint sounds of a woman singing in the distance, even though the bar was empty aside from himself, Conspicuous Sam, Lumina, and the terrified bartender huddled behind the counter.

Conspicuous Sam dexterously caught the coin in his palm and slapped it onto the back of his wrist.

Phil’s eyes widened once the result was revealed.

“Tails.” Conspicuous Sam echoed the words sadly. He looked towards Phil and tipped his hat as Thousand-Eyes Restrict tore his chest open with a quick swipe of its claws to let his guts spill out onto the wooden floor.

“Shame.” Conspicuous Sam wetly coughed out the words and sagged to the ground as his life blood poured out of his body. Phil walked over to the dying man and looked him in the eyes.

“It… was fun, at least.” Conspicuous Sam struggled to say the words.

Phil nodded. “If you say so. Any last words?”

“Well…” Conspicuous Sam let loose a bloody grin. “Have fun dueling the rest of the boys… Tragoedia sent after you. He’s stalling you. Dunno what for. And… that crazy bitch Dark Necrofear will keep on your tail if you haven’t killed her already.”

“Noted.” Phil replied. He stood and watched as the light faded out of Conspicuous Sam’s eyes. Once the man’s body stilled, he leaned over and methodically riffled through his pockets.

“A pack of smokes… pass on that. Roll of quarters. Score. Bus pass for Reno, not needed but I’ll keep it just in case. Oh. And that’s a bag of cocaine.” Of the golden coin and the die that Conspicuous Sam used, Phil picked them up and studied their features. The die was simple enough at first glance. Six sides, golden in color, but it was not heavy enough to actually be made of gold. It seemed to slightly move in Phil’s palm, even though he was keeping his hand steady. The coin was a little bit more alarming. Though it was roughly the size of a quarter, the heads side of the coin featured a picture of a crying woman, while the tails side featured an image of a decapitated dog’s head. Similar to the die, the golden quarter weighed nowhere near enough to make Phil think it was actually made of gold, and the object seemed to move slightly in his steady palm.

Magic? Phil internally guessed. Perhaps, but I don’t know enough to be sure. I’ll keep them around and ask Banner when the school year starts up again.

Phil stood, tossing both the cigarettes and the bag of cocaine over his shoulder to the bartender as he turned to leave the building. “Sorry for the trouble. I’ll be on my way. Oh, and if you sic the cops on me, I’ll make sure you end up like that cowboy guy on your floor.”