Well, let me properly introduce myself this time, I am Yuki Satou, a Japanese-American High School student who’s basically just your not-so average 17 year old guy. And well that's all really have to say honestly. I don't really have anything else to really say.
I mean I can be considered above average among my peers in regards to grades, and I'm not the most physically active. I don't particularly have too many talents, and I'm for the most part a lazy couch potato. I have moved around a lot, but that's mainly do too my parents who are off doing their own thing for the most part.
Well that’s enough about me, now why don’t I explain this absurd situation I found myself in, or rather this stupid scenario that the entire Universe found itself in.
Let's go back a few minutes ago......
I was walking around the streets of my New York enjoying the sites, with my earphones jacked into my brand new phone that I bought. As I was listening to some music, and I could somehow distinguish someones voice through all the music. It was the voice of an old man, and even with my music turned all the way to high I could still hear him vividly, preaching about some nonsense.
I didn't particularly feel like doing anything about it though, I just thought someone was preaching rather loudly, so I started walking away. But for some reason I could still hear the old man just as clearly, so I made a little remark in my head and thought, "What gives this guy the right to be so loud."
But, then the voice rang through my head clearer than ever.
“Because I'm God."
"And, I'm Jesus.” I retorted
“No, you’re not and you’re pronouncing it wrong,”
I thought I might have accidentally said all of that out loud, so I took of my ear phones, and began looking around. But there was no one around me talking. As a matter of fact, there were others who were looking around in confusion.
But I didn't think too much of it, and simply thought to myself, "I must be going insane, yep I'm going insane.School’s a killer.”
“Why do all of you Humans think you're going crazy the moment I start talking to you. I know I haven’t spoken to any of you for a while now, but still you guys are making me look bad. I sorta made you guys in my image you know.”
The voice let out a hefty sigh, and I asked him, “If this isn’t a hallucination, a dream, or something else entirely, and you really are God, what does it matter to me? I’m an atheist.”
The voice that calls himself God just laughed and answered me,"You think I, the creator of All Life, the One and Only God of Earth, needs you to believe I exist? If I really wanted you to believe I existed, I would have done it an eternity ago. And you know even if you don't believe I exist, I’m still right here talking to you."
He had a valid point so I entertained the voice a little and asked, “Is that so? Well, whatever. So what’s on today’s agenda? Am I the new prophet?
“Yeah.”
“I refuse.”
The voice chuckled in my head,“Well that’s good, because you weren’t gonna be one in the first place”
“So what’s the real reason you decided to have this little ole' conversation with me? Is there something you need to tell me?”
“Yep, I have an important announcement to make to every single life form in existence. I’m planning on destroying the Universe you see."
And I just stood there motionless. Now, that I look back at it, this was probably the second biggest shock of my life. The first being the time I found out my middle school crush was actually a dude who cross-dressing…
But let's not open up old wounds. I guess God's not the only one not doing his job, right Admiral Ack*ar!
I sighed, and asked this self-proclaimed God,“I can’t really stop you, but if I say please don’t destroy the Universe would you stop?"
"Sure."
“This isn’t something to joke about you know.”
But he merely replied, "Well I did get this request several billion times today, so I’ve been thinking about it”
“Wait, did you take the time to ask everyone on Earth?”
“Yep”
“I see….”
“You don’t see very impressed I’m literally talking to hundreds of billions of lifeforms this very second."
“Billions? I take it you’re not only asking Humans.”
“Yeah, and I must say I know I create some creatures for the purpose of being eaten by other creatures, but to raise so many thousands of animals to the point that the only thing on their mind when their creator was talking to them, was kill me is quite impressive. Especially those people working under McDarnald's, they are quite something”
“Well you didn’t stop us…”
“Well, I remember doing this with you humans at one point too, so i found it quite amusing. You humans really do take after me sometimes.”
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
“That's…. kinda fucked up....”
“I’m a god, I can do whatever I want. Besides you Humans eat each other too.”
.....
“So you won’t destroy the world, right?
“No”
“Huh!? But you just said-”
“Well you see, young padawan,” God interrupted “I kind of want to bring the dinosaurs back, they were so much more how should I put this. Entertaining, yeah entertaining. And if I want to keep you guys alive, while doing that I'd have to create an entirely new world and that's a hassle. You know it was fun at first, but making humans wasn’t the brightest idea. Though i suppose it was my fault for giving into peer pressure, but the barbecue was too big of an event and Dinosaurs can’t match up with you humans' taste"
“You're talking about how we’re more sophisticated right? Right? Author!! Help me out here!”
And in that moment an odd event occurred. Another odd voice rang in my head at that moment and spoke to me, ”No”
“Well there you have it, and earlier didn’t you say before this flashback started you wouldn’t break the 4th wall?”, asked God
What earlier? This is a flashback? Wait, what? My head hurts... Who was that voice, who did I call out too?
"Hmm, he sure is sadistic. Well let’s get back on track", spoke God
“Well sure, ugh... my head hurts.”
“Well after taking several hundred thousand suggestions,” God continued to conversation as i was recovering from a headache similar to the one I have now and said “ And I've decided to send every one of you to an entirely new Universe!”
Ah, a new Universe, isn’t this like one of those mangas and novels that I’ve been reading recently where for some reason a God sends a normal and completely average person to another world with a weird fantasy setting, where he gets some sort of absurd super power isn’t it? But I just wanna live a completely normal life. You know get rich, watch anime, and live the good life
Oh wait God said a bit more than this hold on what was it? Oh yeah he said alongside a haughty laugh
“Ahahaha don’t worry, this Great, Benevolent, and Almighty God will give each individual the right to pick what sort of Universe you will go to. You may also pick who may come with you, as long as they agree to it."
And when i asked him for some examples he told me,
"Well... several million people wish to be reincarnated into a different gender, person, or species. A few dozen million seek to be put into a place similar to heaven. And a few other million wish to go to another world to live out their fantasies! And boy, a majority of them are not good ones….."
And as I was thinking of what I would do, I was a bit shocked and then i asked him,”Don't tell me it's those kinds of fantasies?”
"Do you want to hear some?", he asked
And you know I could just imagine him with a stupid grin on his face right now.
"Well okay, Jason Morris wants to..."
"Wait wait wait, privacy. You can’t just say the Authors fake name and pass it off as a random extra character! No, I mean we can’t just give away personal information!"
"Fine... One person would like to be sent to a futuristic world with lasers, and spaceships. You kind of like St@r W@rs, pew pew pew pewww pewwww. Another wants to be sent into a world filled with elves, dragons, orcs, and magic to create what he states is the ultimate harem of monster girls. Oh, right! And another would like to-”
”Okay that's enough, I get it-”
“That’s rude! No interrupting. That guy would like to go to a world full of slaves so he can live out his fantasies and *BEEP* *BEEP* while *BEEP* so he can *BEEP* *BEEP* to a bunch of them without any restraints. And even if he were too *BEEEEEEP*, and *BEEP*, and *BEEP* and *BEEP* an-”
“Okay that’s enough! What's with those sound effects just now.”
“Aren’t those the sounds you Humans use when try to cover up a word or something,”
“Yeah, but how in the world are you doing that?”
“I’m God, do you really need to ask? So have you decided? Do you wanna live out your fantasies?"
"Well can you just reincarnate me into a world similar to this, filled with Anime, Manga, Cartoons and the like. Oh and it’s possible make me the son of some rich millionaire?"
"Eh, you're a boring one. Well whatever, it shall be done. Just wait a second and every life form will soon disappear from this world."
I stood there listening to my music waiting for what is basically the apocalypse and the very end of the world as we know it. And just as God promised everyone around me disappeared. They all went wherever they chose to go probably. And that’s great, because it means i’m not insane!'
…
“Wait a minute... what about me!?”
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Weeeeee I edited after like 5 months, weeeeeeeeee!