Based on the amount of cooking Barbatos had left to do, Melody decided to take the time to shower. Fortunately, the room had been cleared by the time she returned, so there was little to interrupt her efforts to make herself presentable. The warmth and cleanliness of the shower really improved her mood, and she felt more alert rather than falling back to sleepiness. After brunch, they were scheduled to pack up and return home. Her longing for the place surprised her. Although she had been calling it ‘home’ for some time, it was mostly because saying ‘House of Lamentation’ every time she mentioned it would have gotten old fast. But, now it felt like a second home to her. She wondered what it said about her that she was able to win over high-powered demons more easily than her own siblings.

Cleaned, dressed, and groomed, Melody made her way back to the Grand Hall for the final meal of the day. The table was set, but the food had not yet arrived; which meant that she wasn’t late, much to her relief. Everyone was there already, including Solomon without his apron, engaging in bits and pieces of conversation. They didn’t seem to notice her entrance, because she overheard Asmodeus and Mammon talking as if she wasn’t in the room. Then again, it didn’t seem to stop them during the times they were aware of her, so it was hard to tell.

“I mean, if you want to get lovey-dovey with Melody, then why don’t you just do it?” demanded Asmo, leaning back in his chair and glaring at Mammon in a decidedly cranky fashion, his tone irritated to match. Then he laughed, his expression turning to wicked glee. “Really, you’re making yourself look like a total fool. Actually, scratch that, you are a total fool.”

“Wh… hey!” Mammon immediately blushed, turning his head slightly so he wasn’t directly facing Asmo anymore. “C-c’mon, as if I’d ever get lovey-dovey with a human! The odor would rub off on me and then I’d smell like human!” Melody tried not to sigh out loud; there was that smell problem again. She’d just had a shower too. There was the brief temptation to point out that he hadn’t been worried about that when he was dancing with her last night, but, she knew she’d never say anything like that. If she spoke her mind, she’d be in a lot more trouble than she already was. Besides, she really had no expectation that Mammon would want to…

“Um, I notice you didn’t deny the part about being a fool…” muttered Luke. Before Mammon could protest, however, Barbatos entered the hall, pushing a food cart with brunch on it.

“Good morning everyone,” he greeted politely. “Oh, I’m sorry. I suppose it’s not correct to say good morning, considering it’s past noon already.” Even when Barbatos was calling people out for being rowdy the previous night, he did it so smoothly and politely that Melody could only envy him for his delivery.

“Is that sarcasm I hear?” asked Satan, clearly less impressed with Barbatos than Melody was by the shaking of his head. “…Anyway, where’s Lord Diavolo? I haven’t seen him yet this morning.”

“He’s still in bed. He and Lucifer stayed up talking well after the rest of you went to sleep, you see,” returned Barbatos, unruffled. Melody thought she saw a faint twitch of one of his eyebrows, but she couldn’t be certain. Satan paled just slightly, and Melody wondered if she had missed something.

“Can we get to the part where we eat now? I’m hungry…” Beel’s complaint was expected.

“Ah yes, pardon me. Brunch is ready and waiting,” Barbatos said with a slight bow, already starting to place all the plates, bowls, and pots on the table. Everything looked and smelled right, much to Melody’s relief. She hadn’t felt hungry at all until she saw the food; her nerves had been acting up.

“We were supposed to have food from the human world on the last day of the retreat, right?” asked Simeon, looking at everything Barbatos was spreading on the table. He gave Melody a smile as he said this, the expression more about encouragement than anticipation. Asmodeus, however, looked frankly dismayed, even panicked. Melody froze; had she done something wrong somehow?

“Wait, don’t tell me that this means…” began Asmodeus, but Solomon cut him off.

“Yep, you guessed it. It means I did some of the cooking as well.” Solomon was smiling.

“Indeed. Melody was in charge of making today’s human world fare, and Solomon helped out,” Barbatos clarified, modestly leaving his own part out. Melody took a few moments to explain what the food was, and how to prepare it. She had decided to make crepes and fixings, both savory and sweet, so that people could eat according to their tastes. Barbatos had even dished things up on color-coded dishes so that those who were less aware of human realm food would be able to make good choices. Mammon leaned forward, surveying the items on the table with a sniff.

“Hmph. So, there’s stuff Melody cooked, huh… ? Well, I’m hungry enough that I guess I could tolerate eating some of it.” Mammon’s lack of verbal endorsement was something Melody knew she should expect. If only she could convince herself to not have the knee-jerk reaction of disappointment. It would be even better if she could convince Mammon to be more honest, but, she doubted that was going to happen any time soon. From the way his family reacted, it seemed like this habit had been formed a long time ago.

“Why not be honest and say you’re looking forward to trying it? Ugh, this is why I can’t stand demons.” The fact that Luke voiced what she was thinking was a bit surprising to Melody, but then he followed up with his own declaration that he didn’t like demons, even after warming quite a bit to Beel. Oh well. She wasn’t going to tell him at this point that he was a little too similar to some of the demons he proclaimed to dislike.

“Mm, this is great. I’m ready for seconds,” mumbled Beel, having already taken one full helping and finished it off. Melody knew he wasn’t picky, so it wasn’t the best endorsement, but at least he didn’t dislike it, so she gave him a smile.

“So, which of these dishes did you make, Solomon?” asked Asmodeus.

“This one here. Oh, and what you see on that plate there too,” Solomon answered, pointing to each in turn as he spoke. The food did look good, and though Melody could recognize most of the main ingredients, she wouldn’t know they were seasoned until she tried some. She was curious if they were more traditional dishes from where Solomon was originally from or something he had learned along the way. She was about to ask, but Asmodeus had another question.

“So Melody and Barbatos made everything else then?”

“Correct. Everything from here to here was Melody’s idea, but I was the one who did most of the actual cooking, per her instructions, so she could go freshen up and not keep everyone waiting,” Barbatos informed them. Now that the question was put to him directly, he didn’t deny his involvement. In the background, Leviathan was dishing himself up and getting excited about exactly which anime he had seen similar foods in, making sure that he made his own serving look as close to the anime version as possible. Mammon, who was being much less particular, had already served himself and was trying it out.

“…H-Huh… So Melody made this one? I-I guess it’s all right…” Mammon muttered between bites, his words not even able to hide how pleased he sounded.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

“Asmo, aren’t you going to try any of that dish there?” asked Satan, gesturing towards one of Solomon’s dishes. It looked like some sort of salad, the kind of thing Asmo often tried to eat, for his health of course.

“That? Well, Solomon’s the one who made that, after all…” protested Asmodeus, trailing off, as though his words meant more than they seemed to.

“Nobody likes a picky eater,” admonished Beel. Leaving food untouched was practically a crime in his eyes.

“Okay then, you go ahead and eat all you like, Beel. Be my guest,” retorted Asmodeus. Beel, who usually left salads for last, since they rarely filled him, wasn’t about to let it just sit in the bowl, untouched. So, he dished himself up a generous helping and started munching away. Partway through, he stopped abruptly, expression stunned.

“That’s odd. Beelzebub froze. The food must be so good that he’s in shock right now,” said Simeon, taken by surprise. Somehow, Melody didn’t think that was the case, the expression on Beel’s face wasn’t one of joy or even the thoughtful indecision of someone trying to place a unique or complex flavor.

“Solomon’s cooking looks so good that I decided to upload pictures of it to social media. Mmm, I can’t wait to try this! It’s going to be SO epic!” There was a flash of the DDD as Leviathan took a picture of Solomon’s dish before he skewered some on his fork. “…All right, food! Your end is nigh! Prepare to be consumed!” Melody found herself laughing over this; when Levi got into this sort of mood, it was quite endearing to her. But, then Levi froze as well, his eyes wide, expression dismayed. This was not a good sign. While Beel was likely to be stunned into silence by good food, Leviathan was more likely to put out some novel-length praise of anything that caught his attention positively. Everyone else seemed to think that this was a sign to try to food as well, but Melody couldn’t organize her thoughts fast enough to the others from following Beel and Levi’s leads.

Mammon found his voice first, managing to describe the dish in the most gruesome way, such as having needles poke his tongue or his stomach being on fire, declaring that it wasn’t even food. Satan, for his part, described it as a weapon of mass destruction. Simeon tried to actually describe the flavors themselves, but it ended up so contradictory, Melody couldn’t even imagine the taste. However, she was certain she was not going to find out for herself. Luke just held his stomach and looked like he was about to be sick.

“Even Beel is sitting there paralyzed, and he can eat anything…” noted Satan, shaking his head. Asmodeus was almost gloating though; his warning had been very oblique, but it had been there.

“The food looks so good, though. It’s hard to believe that it can taste so bad, huh?” he whispered the second part as an aside to Satan.

“Now now, don’t compliment me too much, okay? You’re going to embarrass me,” Solomon said, his expression oddly pleased. Melody did a double take. How could he be such a powerful and threatening sorcerer, but still completely miss what was going on around him right now?

“Look at Solomon. He’s eatin’ it like nothing’s wrong…” grumbled Mammon, half in disbelief, half in awe.

“Mmm, the flavor isn’t bad. Looks like my hard work paid off.” It was true, Solomon wasn’t even flinching as he ate. Maybe there was just something in it that tasted bad to demons and angels, but not humans. Melody wasn’t sure she was brave enough to test that theory.

“I know. As bizarre as it is, Solomon seems to have no trouble at all eating his own cooking,” Asmodeus said to Mammon, feeling some odd sort of joy in the chaos that had erupted. He held out a forkful of food to Solomon. “Solomon, this looks good too.. Here, open wide and say aaah…” Solomon looked a little surprised but did as he was asked.

“Mm… thanks.” Again, there was no change, and he ate the food contentedly. Satan watched in complete disbelief.

“…So he doesn’t even…?

“…Nope…” said Luke.

“…Doesn’t look like it…” agreed Mammon.

“Solomon’s cooking is so insanely bad that it’s become the most memorable part of the whole retreat. Wow, Solomon… that’s epic! Loool.” Levi got in the final word. The rest of the meal passed in relative silence. Leftovers, a rare occurrence whenever Beelzebub was involved, were saved for when Lord Diavolo and Lucifer woke up. Though Melody strongly suspected that Barbatos got rid of anything Solomon had made. Handing such dishes over to the Prince would not be wise.

The members of the retreat returned to their rooms and started packing their things. Eventually, they all met together in the grand hall, a collection of bags and woes. Of course, there were arguments, but that seemed par for the course. At least it didn’t devolve into another fight, which was fortunate, for pillows were less accessible here, and Melody was sure someone would get seriously hurt if they started throwing luggage around. Fortunately for everyone’s personal effects, Lucifer and Diavolo finally arrived. The Prince bade them all a hearty farewell and thanked them for coming. Although it was the polite thing to do, Melody felt that he meant every word of it.

The ride back was uneventful, more or less. Melody ended up squished between Mammon and Levi in the backseat, but half-dozed through most of the trip. Oddly the two were relatively docile with their pacted human creating a soft and sleepy wall between them. As much as tension was common between them, often escalating into a shouting match or a chase, neither seemed particularly keen on disturbing Melody. Perhaps it was the pact, perhaps it was because she had grown on them, or maybe they were just aware of how much trouble they’d be in with Lucifer if they hurt her because they couldn’t rein in their tempers. Lucifer stopped briefly through a drive-in to get enough food to make up for the failed brunch at the Castle.

All Melody wanted to do was haul her luggage back to her room, unpack, and fall asleep in blissful solitude. Sharing a room with Simeon had been pleasant enough, shoulders notwithstanding, but Asmo had been a rather nerve-wracking roommate. Even after the pact was made, she knew she wouldn’t use it just to make herself more comfortable; only if she was threatened would she employ it, and that was still questionable. However, her luck from the smooth ride home didn’t hold over. As soon as they were in the door, the status quo resumed. Mammon was already enthusiastically cataloging everything he liked about the House of Lamentation.

“I mean, doncha agree? There’s really no place like the House of Lamentation, huh Melody?” As soon as Mammon made it a direct question, Melody felt she couldn’t just ignore it. Especially since it really seemed to hurt his feelings with how frequently his brothers did exactly that.

“I completely agree; there’s no place like it,” she said. While she didn’t like how big and stuffy it was sometimes, she couldn’t say it was like anywhere else, even if it was only for the fact she had nearly died at least three times under its roof. Mammon seemed pleased with the answer, and Melody started breathing normally again as he started to enthuse about his home once more.

“Don’t be so dramatic. We were only away on our retreat for three days,” said Satan, expression caught somewhere between bewildered and exasperated. Although the comment was directed at Mammon, Levi was the one who was set off by it, accusing Satan of being dismissive of his prolonged absence from a great number of his Ruri-chan figurines. True, Melody had helped him smuggle in a few extras, but, even between the two of them, several had to stay behind. He then went into very explicit detail about how painful it was to be separated from them, comparing it to being ground down into burger patties and grilled. Still, as much as Melody hated when he raised his voice that way, she was still in awe of his dedication.

“Ahaha! Look how serious Levi is! He’s honestly mad right now!” Asmodeus laughed, not taking his brother’s anger to heart at all. Melody suppressed a sigh, wondering why she had entered a pact with him again. It felt like Asmo really hadn’t learned anything at all during those three days.

“There aren’t words to describe how much I can’t stand you guys…” grumbled Satan. Melody flinched, wondering if she was included in that. Of everyone there, Satan was the one she had the hardest time reading. The others showed the color of their sins quite often, but he usually didn’t push further than being mildly peeved at people. In addition, he made very few references to her, and any time he did address her directly, she always felt there was some sort of motive involved. But to what ends he worked, she couldn’t tell. While it was true she wasn’t close to Lucifer either, he was clearly motivated by keeping order and not bringing shame to Lord Diavolo’s name. Satan was a wild card.

“Patties… Now I want a cheeseburger…” said Beel. Melody felt bad for him; he hadn’t gotten to eat as much as he would have liked because of Solomon’s food. Being put off his appetite hadn’t diminished it, just delayed it. Unfortunately, even that simple statement started another argument, headed by Satan, all about how terrible the human world food had been. Melody tried not to feel hurt about it, since as far as she could tell, hers had been fine. Maybe even good. But Solomon’s had been so completely awful that it rendered hers almost non-existent.