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A Fair Exchange
Chapter 27: Scheduling Chaos

Chapter 27: Scheduling Chaos

Melody sat down on her luggage, careful to make sure it was the bag that only had her stuff in it. Asmo wasn’t the only one who had taken advantage of her kindness. She had a few items of Levi’s as well as some things for Beel. She was surprised that Mammon hadn’t approached her at all, but she guessed he was so used to having to hoard what he had that giving her anything would be too difficult. In fact, it probably had never occurred to him. But, she wouldn’t take it personally, and she was just as happy to not have to carry even more stuff. She wasn’t all that strong after all.

“The aim of this retreat is for demons, angels, and humans to intermingle so that each may gain a better understanding of the other,” Barbatos said, his voice smooth, professional, and impersonal.

“Well, as we’re stayin’ the night, I say the best way to intermingle is by havin’ a pillow fight!” said Mammon. Generally, Melody wouldn’t think it was a bad idea, though it wasn’t really her type of entertainment, having a pillow fight against demons seemed a worrisome prospect.

“Now then, I’ll begin by explaining what we have planned for each day of the retreat.” Barbatos continued along as though Mammon hadn’t said a word.

“Wha… so you’re just gonna ignore me?!” Mammon wasn’t happy at all, but Melody leaned up slightly to say something to him.

“He’s just doing his job, Mammon; it’s okay,” she whispered, hoping her tone was soothing without being condescending. After all, she was just a human. Levi began to snicker, but she shot him a questioning look that actually stopped him before it turned into a full on laughter. He looked away, a bit shame-faced, but she made sure to give him a smile as soon as she could catch his eye again; she didn’t want him to think she was taking sides. She just wanted to hear what was going to happen without too much interference.

“After you’ve taken your belongings up to your rooms, we’ll begin with a tour of the Demon Lord’s Castle, where you’ll have a chance to learn about Devildom history.” Melody tilted her head to the side, realizing she hadn’t actually taken that subject. Was it something that they didn’t want to trust to a human student? But, she didn’t stop to ask, letting Barbatos continue with the schedule. “We’ll be serving Devildom cuisine for dinner tonight, and I’ve taken the liberty of volunteering to prepare tonight’s meal myself.” Barbatos actually smiled at that last part, and Melody reflected that it did wonders for his face. Usually he looked as though his expression was permanently ironed into polite neutrality.

“Mmm, Barbatos’s authentic Devildom cuisine…” Barbatos wasn’t the only one smiling; Beel was looking very attentive now, smiling as he mused over that tidbit. He was even starting to drool, so Melody fished out a handkerchief and handed it to him. Levi shot her a look of relief; sometimes when Beel started drooling it would end up on anyone nearby. It wasn’t one of his more charming qualities, but Melody was sure it was a struggle to stop himself.

“Tomorrow we’ll be having a scavenger hunt. Each day, we plan to have a representative from one of the three worlds prepare a meal for us. So, tomorrow, Luke will be making food from the Celestial Realm. I’m sure it will be quite a treat.” Melody was curious what kinds of foods the Celestial Realm would have. More pressingly, she wondered how much work had to be done to get the ingredients down here in the Devildom. Even though Diavolo wanted peace, it didn’t meant that trade was frequent or stable between the three realms. “Incidentally, there will also be a dance following dinner tomorrow.” Ah! That must be the formal dinner then. And the dance after. Melody was a bit concerned; she just hoped that Celestial Realm food would be easy enough on her stomach. She had a sinking feeling she was going to be the plainest one there, and without any real ability to dance, she really wasn’t certain she would enjoy the event at all. Still, she planned on trying her best; she didn’t want to disappoint Diavolo.

“Then on day three -the final day- we’ll get to enjoy food from the human world for lunch, which Melody will be preparing for us,” Barbatos continued smoothly.

Wait… what? Melody didn’t remember anything about that. She wasn’t prepared! Nervously she started wringing her hands.

“But… I don’t remember hearing anything about this at all,” she couldn’t help but protest. Was this one of those nightmares, where you had to do something, and everyone was aware of it but the person the expectations were placed upon? She looked around helplessly. Barbatos finally showed a crack in his calm demeanor, looking surprised.

“I did send notice regarding our plans,” he pointed out. Melody believed him, so her eyes moved elsewhere, catching a dark scowl on Lucifer’s face.

“Mammon, I believe I told you to let Melody know about this?”

“H-Huh? W-Wait a minute, didn’t I, um, mention that?” Mammon asked, starting to break a bit of a sweat. Melody shook her head. “…No?” He turned back to look at Lucifer, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, can you blame me? With everything Melody went through, it wasn’t right to tell her immediately, and then, I guess it slipped my mind after,” he said, working to justify his failure. Melody could see his point; she was kind of a skittish mess for a while. Still, it was awkward being told after arriving rather than before. She couldn’t be mad at him though.

“There’s no need to try and make anything complicated,” Solomon observed. “Even something simple would be an interesting treat for them. I haven’t gotten to eat human world food in a long time. I’m really looking forward to what you make, Melody.”

Melody gave Solomon a grateful smile, more for his effort to help than any actual help received. In fact, his words just gave her more questions. How would she get the ingredients? What exactly were they expecting from ‘human world’ cuisine? It wasn’t as if earth was terribly unified. There were so many different cultures and regions, all with their own styles of food. Speaking of which, what the heck had Solomon been eating all this time if he hadn’t been eating human world food. He made it sound like he had stopped eating it long before he made it to the Devildom for the exchange program. What was up with this guy? Melody didn’t have time to worry too much longer though, as Barbatos was moving along as though no interruption had taken place.

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“Well then, why don’t we move on to the room assignments?” Another subject that made Melody jumpy; she was the only female there, as far as she knew, which means she’d be sharing a room with a guy. True, she’d already slept in the same room as Beel, but he didn’t seem nearly as threatening once she got to know him, so she could only hope it would be the same for her temporary room mates. Since Luke was already invited to the retreat openly, she wouldn’t have to fret about hiding him in a closet, so she doubted this would be a repeat from last time. “Lord Diavolo will be sharing a room with Lucifer.”

“You have your own bedroom here. Why share a room with me?” Lucifer looked surprised by the widening of his eyes, and the small sound of confusion he made wasn’t one Melody had often heard. Only one room assignment in, and there were already issues. But, at least she didn’t have to share a room with the demon who had, so far, come closest to killing her, and with the most intent.

“Why do you think?” said Diavolo with his trademark laugh. “Because this is a retreat, of course!”

“You certainly seem to be looking forward to this,” remarked Lucifer, again having that look of someone resigned to the inevitable.

“Luke, Beelzebub, Leviathan, you will be sharing a room,” Barbatos continued to list off names.

Melody’s face fell. Two of her pacted demons were ticked off the list, plus Luke. Three people who she felt were ‘safer’ were not an option for a potential room mates. She barely heard the three of them commenting on their room assignments, as she held her breath, listening for the next set of names.

“Simeon, Asmodeus, Melody, you’ll be sharing a room.” Whose idea was this? Melody had to press her lips tight to stop herself from gasping. Why, why would they put her in a room with the Avatar of Lust? The prospect was frightening. Perhaps they felt Simeon could keep him in line? While Melody wasn’t actually afraid of Simeon, she didn’t know the angel very well at all. Then again, that was the point of the retreat, wasn’t it? But, then why bother putting Lucifer and Diavolo in the same room? By now, her head was spinning, trying to sort all of this insanity out.

“And Solomon, Mammon, Satan, you’ll be sharing a room as well. And that covers everyone.” Apparently Barbatos himself didn’t count, as he wasn’t on the list. This didn’t overly surprise Melody, however. She imagined Barbatos probably needed to go to sleep late, wake up early, and thus every hour of rest was important. Being a butler sounded like hard work to her. Although her mother employed a couple of maids to keep the house clean, they weren’t quite so ostentatious as to need a butler. Diavolo was a Prince though, so it wasn’t surprising at all.

“…Yo, Asmodeus. Switch rooms with me!” Mammon seemed just as dissatisfied with the arrangement as Melody herself, and she shot him a faint smile. As boisterous as Mammon was, she still felt safer around him than Asmodeus. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the pact, or because Greed scared her less than Lust, or because she just felt that Mammon was softer under all his bluster than he seemed.

“…What? Why?” Asmo seemed surprised at the request. Mammon, however, simply glanced away.

“Because, um… y’know… Solomon looks like he snores, and… and Satan’s feet probably stink…” Even if that would convince Asmo to switch, Mammon’s tactics were not helping him overall.

“Well, that’s an awfully rude thing to accuse me of. And it’s not true,” objected Solomon, looking quite indignant. Melody couldn’t blame him. While snoring wasn’t something most people could help, and it was unfortunate, it was also something very annoying for any potential room mate.

“My feet don’t smell. Mammon, the truth is that you want to be in the same room as Melody, don’t you?” Satan said, coming to the defense of his feet. Mammon blushed, and seeing his blush, Melody found herself blushing also. Was that the truth of the matter? She couldn’t say. She wasn’t sure how to feel about it either. Grateful? Worried? Thrilled? It was hard to tell what his motivation was. Especially as she watched him turn into a bit of a sputtering mess.

“Wh?! You idi…! N-No I don’t! Why would I want to share a room with Melody?! I mean… a human?! And when you sleep in the same room as a human, their smell ends up rubbin’ off on ya. So you should be grateful I’m even willin’ to trade with ya! You should be HONORED, actually!” Melody was almost completely certain this was nonsense. For one, no one had complained of her smell before, and she was sure that several of the brothers would not have held back if she was irritating them in any way. Secondly, Solomon was human himself, so either way, Asmo and Mammon would each be sharing a room with a human, unless Solomon himself was the one to swap places. Unless Solomon somehow didn’t count because of how old he was. She doubted that, however. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, Mammon was just terrible at being smooth.

“Ah… I see. So that’s why you want to switch rooms, is it?” asked Asmo. Then he smiled quite a cheeky fashion. “Well, in that case, the answer is no. Too bad!” Melody suppressed a sigh. As transparent as Mammon was being, she was kind of hoping Asmo would agree. She felt she understood Mammon better than Asmo. On the other hand, Asmo had promised to help her with her hair and things on the night of the formal dance, so at least he would be close by for that situation. Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad?

“WHY NOT?!” Mammon wasn’t going to give up that easily, however, despite declaring he wasn’t actually interested moments ago.

“Maybe because I enjoy seeing that bitter, frustrated look on your face?” Asmo teased with a giggle. Another hope dashed; that sort of petty answer did little to soothe Melody’s worries at sharing a room with him. Mammon growled at the answer, which only made Asmodeus laugh harder. “Yup, that’s the one! I really DO love that look!” It was settled; this retreat was going to be a nightmare. Goodness knows what kind of mean things he was going to tease her with!

“How long do you all plan on goofing around? Let’s go. Time to take your belongings up to your rooms.” Lucifer already sounded like he was done with his brothers’ antics. And while it put a stop to the teasing, he certainly didn’t seem to see any reason to question the room assignments, other than being put in a room with Diavolo, so either he thought Asmodeus would behave, or it was only her physical survival he was concerned with. Either way, he would not be saving her from sharing a room with Asmo.

“OWWWW! Hey! Lucifer, stop! Quit pullin’ me along by the ear!” Mammon protested as Lucifer did just that. Melody shot him a sympathetic glance, and a self-depreciating smile. She couldn’t help him, and he hadn’t been able to help her, but at least he had tried, and she appreciated it… even if his motives were selfish. “Ugh, COME ON! What’d I do to deserve this, huh?!” What indeed? As far as Melody could tell, Asmo had been the one being more petty and catty, but he seemed to suffer no repercussions at all. Sure, Mammon could be loud, but that didn’t seem like such a bad thing, in comparison.