[ Two years before Shac meets the Yellow Duckling. ]
× × × × × × × × × ×
“Uh… Did I forget about something?” Ivan scratches his head, struggling to recall what seems an important thing.
Currently, he is standing outside, taking a walk. But something seems to be bothering him, that’s why he made a sudden stop.
Mhm… can’t remember it, must be something unimportant.
He can’t remember it.
Troubled, he continued his way, disregarding the thing that he can’t recall. As he is walking, he finds himself looking at the vast area of grasses on the side of the road.
If I were a goat, this place would be heaven.
Suddenly, he made a stop, he saw something that caught his eye. “Is that…” He raised his eyebrows, focusing on what seems to be a small creature in the grasses.
Curious by the sight, he made his way to the grasses to approach the small creature, it didn’t take too long before he reached it. And grabbing it is easier, as it didn’t try to run.
“Well well… what are you doing here alone?” The small yellow duckling is on his palm, sitting. “Doesn’t look like you have anyone nearby here, that shouldn’t be the case.”
He tried looking around once again, but couldn’t see another single duck. “There’s no one nearby…”
How did he even manage to roam around here alone?
Having a class this morning, he places back the duckling to the grass. “Take care.” He said, as he bid farewell.
-quack-
As he is about to go back to the road, the quack of the duckling made him look back. “Oh…”
Seeing the yellow duckling again, he smiled. “Bye.” Ivan once again bid a farewell to the yellow duckling.
Now, bidding farewell to each other, they each walk to their respective destination.
× × × × × × × × × ×
That night, Ivan went to bed feeling content. The encounter with the duckling had brightened his day in an unexpected way.
But, as the clock struck midnight, everything changed.
… … …
“Ah!?” Ivan’s eyes snapped open, a silent scream trapped in his throat. His lungs felt like they were burning, desperate for air, but couldn’t get it no matter how he tried.
Sweat drenched his body, even when trying to clutch his chest violently, he couldn’t get any air in. He was not able to breathe.
I can’t… breathe…
Panic surged through his body, and his heart pounds violently. Slowly, the darkness of the room seemed to close in, suffocating him further.
“U…gh…” His fingers clawed at his throat, leaving red marks as he desperately fought for oxygen.
SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT
His vision began to blur, and darkness creeps behind the edges of his eyes. The quiet night was interrupted by his frantic breaths and the rustling of sheets as he thrashed around.
This is it, he thought, terror gripping his very soul. I’m… dying.
Ivan’s body began to convulse, his eyes rolling back as the lack of oxygen took its toll. He tried to call out, to scream for help, but no sound escaped his lips.
The world started to fade, slowly, as his consciousness slowly slips away.
× × × × × × × × × ×
“Haaah…” Gasping, he sat up in bed. “What was that!?”
Ivan couldn’t understand what just happened, but it didn’t stop him from trying to breathe in for air. “I’m… fine?”
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The next day passed in a state of confusion and uneasiness, as he had just woken up from being suffocated due to the lack of air.
Breathe in, breathe out, multiple times, it looks like everything is fine… He is still alive.
Was that a dream? he wondered, unable to distinguish dream from reality. Yet one thing was certain, the incredible pain he felt that night.
But…
When midnight came again, the same terrifying experience repeated. And again the next night. And the next.
Again
By the fifth night, Ivan was frantic. He tried staying awake, but exhaustion always claimed him, and midnight always brought suffocation.
Again.Again
On the tenth night, he left his home, hoping a change of location would break the cycle. It didn’t.
It didn’t. It didn’t. It didn’t.
Again.Again.Again
After nearly two weeks of nightly deaths, Ivan’s mind was deteriorating. Each night was a carbon copy of the last, always ending in that moment of breathless terror.
But what can he do? He doesn’t know, there’s no way he would know. How many times has he died now? He’d lost count.
Each death, each suffocating moment, was etched into his mind like a scar. The panic, the helplessness, the terrifying sensation of life slipping away… it all came rushing back as he once again woke up.
Ivan stumbled out of bed, his legs shaky. He pressed his forehead against the cool window, trying to slow down his thoughts.
He sighed. “When will this end?” But no one decided to gather their thoughts to answer his question.
Outside, the sun began to rise, unaware of Ivan’s pain. Another day, and another pain.
In the bathroom mirror, a stranger stared back at him. “This is… how I look now?” Red eyes, and a face etched with terror and exhaustion. Was this really him? How much more could he take?
He felt sadness upon seeing this different version of himself.
It’s been a while, I should take a walk.
Seeing his miserable state, it made sense for him to take a walk. Otherwise, he would just be rotting inside the house, doing nothing.
“Ahhhh…”
Ivan walked, head tilted back, unsure of what to do. He wandered aimlessly, without a plan, simply wanting to take a breather.
The vast grasses stretched out before him, calm and indifferent to his suffering. And there, just as he knew it would be, was the duck.
But something was different. The tiny yellow duckling he’d first seen was growing, changing day by day, even as Ivan relived the same 24 hours over and over.
Now it’s white… Such a mystery…
How was this possible? He didn’t know, but for some reason, the duck seemed to keep growing day by day.
The duck’s growth became a fixation for Ivan, a mystery that both confused and intrigued him amidst his repeating nightmare.
Although the duck seemed to be the only thing constantly changing, how could it help him escape his death? That’s what he wondered as he continued walking aimlessly under the morning sun.
As night fell, familiar dread wrapped around Ivan’s gut. Scared, terrified, nervous… Death was coming. Again.
He thought about all his futile attempts to escape, trying not to sleep, changing locations, but the result was always the same. Always suffocation. Always terror. Always death.
The cycle continued, Ivan dying countless times, watching helplessly as the duck grew from a yellow duckling to a white adult.
Again.Again.Again.Again.Again.Again.Again
× × × × × × × × × ×
Then, one day, everything changed.
Fuck! Why am I here again?
Once again, Ivan walked aimlessly, as if someone had been telling him all this time to walk, walk, and walk in the same direction.
The same morning, the same road, and… the same vast area of grass, where the duck could always be seen wandering.
What am I doing here? he asked himself, unsure of what he was supposed to be doing. Losing the ability to think straight, he found himself doing nothing but walking in a straight line.
But his body was fine. He didn’t need to eat, and he didn’t feel weak either. So, what was the problem?
I don’t know…
His mind was eager to escape this body, but it was still trapped, unable to do anything.
But, as always, it was as if someone was pulling the strings behind his back. Once again, he found himself staring at the duck in the grass.
What!?
There was something different about it; he noticed something about the duck that he wasn’t accustomed to.
He ran toward the duck. “What happened?” he asked himself as he approached the motionless duck lying on the grass.
To his surprise, what he found was a dead white duck.
Wait, what? Why is it dead?
Looking around, there was nothing that could have attacked the duck. He checked the body, no wounds, no blood. But then he noticed something out of place.
“An egg? Huh…” He was puzzled. “This shouldn’t be the case…”
This was the first time he found an egg behind the duck, and combined with the duck lying motionless in the grass, it was even more perplexing.
“I guess…” He rested, looking up at the sky. “Today is different, huh?”
Seeing the strange things happening to the duck, he never expected to find it lifeless or to discover an egg, it’s the least thing he expected to happen.
Although he was looping through the same day, only the duck had been constantly changing, growing day by day.
But it shouldn’t be old enough to die, it’s only been about two weeks… There’s no way it died for no reason.
With trembling hands, Ivan picked up the egg. “I guess I’ll take you to a new home.” He decided to return to the house, carefully holding the duck’s egg.
This made him realize that today was something different, and brought a smile to his face, making him forget about his death for a while.
× × × × × × × × × ×
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he didn’t die that night. He woke up not remembering dying or anything…
“Did I…” He immediately ran towards the kitchen. But when he arrived, something was missing, the egg was gone.
It’s gone!?
“Did you eat the egg, Evie?” Ivan asked nervously, his stomach twisting with anxiety.
“Yeah.” his sister responded casually.
“Why did you eat it?” Ivan’s voice cracked with disbelief.
His sister shrugged, oblivious to the egg’s significance. “I was hungry.”
Hearing what Evie said, Ivan stood there, stunned. His mind raced, trying to process the situation. The weight of the past weeks crashed down on him, the hope that had briefly ignited now extinguished.