The fall into Hell is hard to describe, there’s a certain feel of weightlessness and calm mixed with the feeling of impending doom. I felt my mortal body fade into nothingness, and after an eon of drifting ever downwards Lilith and I reached our destination, a place I thought I’d never see again. A place I never wished to either.

Hell itself, unlike popular belief, isn’t all rivers of lava and the screams of sinners. Although in certain parts of it there’s certainly some of that. No, it’s a personal Hell designed for the individuals, it projects their worst fears and makes it a reality. I’ve seen sinners experience the deaths of loved ones over and over again, and every time they desperately try to change the situation, they are only met with a worse outcome to. Others experience it as a never ending assembly line, where the workers are forced to build the same parts for eons, only to see that their hard work amounts to nothing as the finished products are disposed of and recycled.

Hell isn’t really about pain, it’s about suffering. For me, the confines of Hell looks like a replica of the beautiful cities of Heaven, but it’s a hollow illusion. Everything that I touch and everything that we experience decays into ashes, all of it is constant a reminder of what I gave away, of what we have all lost.

The place we arrived at, the “edge” of Hell if you will, looked like the entrance to Heaven. A majestic silver gate made from the best craftsmen stood before us, and behind the entrance was the radiant Kingdom of Heaven, but I knew that the scene before me is nothing but smoke and mirrors. As I walked closer the gate starts to rust and decay, the lustre becomes tarnished and worn out, the once crisp air starts to fill with the retched stench of death and decay, and the same amber smog fills the land.  

But that same smog was the source of my powers, the source of all of Demon kind's powers. It’s like air for humans. Even after a few moments back in Hell I could feel all of my depleted reserves fill up again. My body felt lighter, faster, as if I was alleviated from a long ache that I didn’t even know I had. I guess Hell still serves as a source of power even to someone who is officially not a part of it any more.

“Home sweet home,” Lilith said, “aren’t you glad to be back?”

“Yeah, glad to be back…” I muttered, pushing the rusted gate open, “I never thought I’d see this place again.”

“Come on, we have to get moving, by now I’m sure someone must have noticed your return, and I‘ve heard that there‘s quite the list of people who wants you dead, and that was before your departure.”

Ah, my enemies… I’ve made quite a few over my long stay in Hell, I wasn’t exactly the nicest person when I was dealing with my legion, and I was even worse when dealing with the other generals. Friends and allies in Hell are far and few in number, or almost non-existent in my case. Maybe backstabbing and plotting was the only way we could maintain any semblance of life down here, with nothing but eternity to look foreword to. The only person I’ve ever trusted down here was Lilith, and now she might hate me as well. But that’s life.

“Why are you helping me, Lilith?”

“What do you mean?” She answered, arching an eyebrow.

“You know what I mean. That Dominion back there, there’s no way he could be that sluggish. I’ve thought about it, but it had to have been you doing something.”

“Maybe you’re just underestimating yourself, Mark. You were the more skilful fighter, maybe you won by yourself.”

I looked at the demon before me, saw her sarcastic little smile and I started to remember why I fell for her in the first place. Did she still care for me, even after all that I’ve done?

“That’s not it, and you know it.” I said, “Even now you’re assisting me, you could have left me alone, and I wouldn’t blame you given the risks. So I ask again, why are you helping me?”

“How do you know I’m not leading you into a trap? Half of the Legions of Hell were out to get you, so maybe I just want to be the one to have the glory of seeing your demise. Lucifer's offering a hefty sum for your capture.”

“I know you Lilith, you’re not like that…” The look on her face as I pressed the point further was not a pretty sight, was I trampling on her pride?

“Just remember that you will be alone when you leave. And Barbas, you do not know me. Not anymore.”

She turned around and walked along without responding further, a the look of melancholy on appearing her face before moving on. Whatever we had back then was over, something else for me to regret. This is truly Hell.

Our walk to see Lucifer was a quick one, or a long one depending on how you see it. Hell doesn’t obey the same rules as Earth, there is no time or space per say, it’s all about how the observer sees it. Navigating could be a headache for the untrained, and I had almost forgotten how disorienting it could be given all the time I’ve spent on Earth. Still, after an eternity down here navigation wasn’t something I’d have forgotten.

Eventually we reached the very bottom of Hell, the frigid seventh circle, the place where Lucifer, the only one to start that bloody rebellion against the Creator, was imprisoned. The place was a giant temple made of frozen obsidian, and at its centre, chained to the ground with huge, rusting cuff is the King of Hell himself, the once majestic Morningstar. Every time I saw him I’m reminded of just how far he has fallen. How far we’ve all fallen.

Back before our fall Lucifer was one of God’s first and most favoured creations. I remembered getting lost in the beauty of the Angel, getting lost between his golden feathers shimmered with the light of creation. Now, however, those same wings are burnt and blackened, those majestic feathers charred and layered in a acrid sludge. His armour, which was once the envy of all, was now a broken, tarnished shell of its former might, and at the chest plates centre was a blacked hole caused by the onslaught of God‘s full fury. Although Lucifer has lost most of his past glory, the Fallen Angel himself was still a breathtaking sight to behold. His majestic features are still present, and his short, midnight black hair and eternal melancholy seems to match the rest of his ashen features.

“I know why you’re here, Barbas.” Lucifer said, his voice echoing into the very fabric of my being. He gave a nod to Lilith and my companion quickly left, but not before giving me a look of concern. I took a deep breath and faced the very first Fallen Angel himself.

“Then you should also know that I need your help. I need my powers back.” I said, my voice level and calm, I will not be intimidated by Lucifer.

“I can not do it.”

“What? Sara is your daughter! If you have a heart at all left in that broken, miserably body of yours then you will help me.”

“I did not say that I will not,” he said with a sad smile, “I said I can not.”

“All you have to do is to accept me back into Hell, even I know that you can do that much.”

“And in doing so you will once again be under the authority of Hell, and by association, God’s laws. Do you not understand, Barbas? The only reason you can help my child is because you are truly free from God’s shackles. When you escaped from Hell – when you were forgiven – you gained Free Will, Barbas, something that was once thought to be beyond us. You can choose! I will not allow you to be bound once more, even if that means that you will never truly be the same as you once were.”

“Then what do you want me to do? Save your child when facing even the lowest of demons is a challenge?”

“I did not say that I will not assist you at all, Barbas.” Lucifer said, taking off a small tarnished ring he was wearing and handing it to me, “Put that ring on and it will link your spirit to Hell no matter where your physical body may be. With it you will be able to feed on the energies here, and although it will not restore you to your full capacity it should be a significant asset. You are more capable than you let on, Barbas… I was jealous when you found the way to leave this prison, no, when you chose to leave this prison… when He forgave you first. But now I know it was because of my own inability to adapt that I blamed you. If you can free yourself then you will be able to free my daughter.

“Go.” he said, pausing,  “And please, save my child.”

That was the first time I have ever heard the Morningstar plead with anyone, and it took me back a little. I’ve known Lucifer since the dawn of creation, and of all that time I’ve always known him to be an indomitable individual that relied on no one but himself. He showed no weakness, even after his fall from grace, but now, looking at him, he seemed to be more vulnerable than ever before. I felt… pity for the Devil himself, the man responsible for more suffering than anyone else. I guess even Lucifer has his vulnerabilities.

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“I will not fail.” I said and slid the ring on my left middle finger before excusing myself out. I didn’t dare look.

I half expected to see Lilith waiting for me outside, but the only thing that greeted me was the wind. I was alone again; just like the old days. With a sigh I willed the gates of Hell to open once more, and I stepped out, glad yet oddly sad that the place I once considered a prison could no longer hold me back.

* * *

I arrived back to a rainy city night, the dull orange that casts from the street lamps blurred under the heavy rainfall, and the streets were empty save for a few stray souls lost in this unholy hour. I felt the familiar, comforting weight of my sword at my side and realized that I was back in my human guise as the clothes that I wore started to cling to my flesh. With one long inhale of the stale air I called for a taxi to take me back to the office.

I asked the cabby to drop a bit away from where I lived; the ride back took less than 10 minutes. I strolled the last few blocks enjoying the night air after my return from Hell. I hadn’t noticed that I had missed the human world so much. This world was not a constant reminder of my past, nor was it a hopeless pit with nothing to look foreword to but betrayals and backstabs. There was something here, something akin to faith - something I’ve never had before, yet as I walked alone I felt hollow inside, like I didn’t truly belong here. That I don’t deserve it. And maybe I don’t. After all, this is the realm of mortals, not for a monster like me. A pariah no matter where I tread.

It was kind of funny, I returned to Hell only to be kicked out again, my only friend gone and now I’m on a mission that was probably going to end in my death, it seemed fitting.

When I arrived at my office building I noticed that something was wrong. It was the lack of something that gave it away; the place was too quiet, there was no movement around, and given how busy this particular building is that (the first floor housed a pretty big karaoke business) is not a normal occurrence, even at this time of night. I cautiously edged thorough the main lobby and walked up the thirteen flights of stairs to my office floor, as there was no way I was going to risk getting stuck inside of an enclosed space knowing that something was amiss. By the time I reached the twelfth floor I noticed a slight blurring movement in the corner of my eye, and I knew exactly what was going on. I ran up the remain floor going three steps at a time, I just hope I wasn’t too late.

Shades, nasty little spectres that are made when too many souls with extreme emotions conjugate for too long, and lots and lots of them were crowded outside my door, wailing their empty screams and clawing at my wards with their hosts hands. By themselves they would be no threat even to humans, but when they gather like this they tend to drive individuals insane with a flood of negative emotions, and once someone was weak enough they would dig themselves into a hosts body and possess them, essentially using the poor saps body into mindless thralls who‘s only purpose was to exact revenge on the living.

I knew that these minor ghouls would be the first to appear after the news of a Nephilim came out, as they were Earth bound but still technically count as lost spirits and thus affiliated with Hell, but this is still way too early. Back in the day it would have taken at least a month for even the first Shade to be called out, not several dozen after only a few hours.

It’s a good thing that they did not manage to break into my office, by the looks of things it appears that most of the night staff had fallen to the Shade’s influence, becoming dead, mindless thralls. The first group of Shades without hosts noticed me and tried to drive me insane, but that was nothing compared to what I had to endure after the Fall. It felt more like a wave of nostalgia than anything else really, I simply willed Hellfire into my left hand and swept the shadows away, burning it into nothing. Seeing that there really isn’t much of a threat, I decided that now would be a pretty good time to test out my new ring. At the very least it would help me relax after the stressful day.

I shouted at the thralls ahead of me, and oh boy did that certainly draw their attention! They stopped smashing their bloodied hands on my door and turned their full attention on me. Although thralls can easily over power the strongest of people as they feel no pain and thus their body‘s natural limiters are gone, they are still fundamentally human. I could probably take on an army of them even in my weakened state, and now that I was feeding off of the vast resources of Hell I was feeling better than ever.

I kept my human guise and struck the first thrall with my fists, feeling a satisfying thud as the lifeless body flew several feet back from the impact. Unfortunately, even for my reinforced body, I broke my arm as well, and had to put a good deal of energy into fixing it. But the sheer amount of damage I did meant that my strength at the very least was back to normal. Next up was speed. I caught another thrall by the throat and threw him into the others with one hand, distracting the hoard while I backed off a few feet. Before the fallen bodies could orientate themselves I launched myself with all the speed I could muster, slamming into the collection of bodies with inertia alone. The impact rattled me more than I thought, which means that I regained some of my old agility, but I could tell that it’s not the same as before.

I rolled away and tried the next thing on my list of things to check: Hellfire. It was the one thing I took pride in, the one factor that made me a being to be feared, to be obeyed. I was one of the few that could summon and manipulate the chaotic element, and it was something that I could manage even when I left my prison. I forced more Hellfire than I ever dared into my right hand, the hand with Lucifer’s ring, and I could feel the heat growing as more and more energy was stored, just waiting to be used. But this still wasn’t enough, I could do more, so much more. I closed my eyes and concentrated on consuming more of Hell’s energies, forcing the flames to condense into my outstretched hand, to grow hotter, fiercer. The skin on my hand started to burn, to char, but I didn’t care. I didn’t feel the pain, only the raw energy building up, and it was only when I knew that my mortal body could take no more that I released that energy.

I looked down at what I had created, and it wasn’t Hellfire that I saw. It was Banefire, the very antithesis of the fires of creation, a substance that will eat away at creation, at the boundaries of this reality. As I saw the purple flame dance I couldn’t help but crack a smile. It wasn’t much, and could only extend to my right hand as only normal Hellfire came out of my left, but it was more than I ever hoped for. I felt like my old self once more, the mighty General feared by all.

I looked at the pitiful Shades standing before me, knowing full well that they were nothing but fodder. I was going to enjoy this. I unsheathed my sword with my burning hand, and the flame immediately started to lick at the weapon’s blade, completing it. I slashed out gracelessly at the first thing that caught my ire, and the body turned into dust before it could even hit the ground, the Banefire eating away the very thing that held the Shade into this reality. I watched in awe as the bodies burned. The rest of the Shades and Thralls fell just as easily, and I almost forgot about the matter at hand due to the ecstasy of the Banefire.

I had to force myself to calm down, to not get lost in that power, to ground myself back in reality, because if I didn’t I could turn into dust just as easily as my enemies have. If my concentration wavered, or if I truly gave in to its corrosive power then it would eat me up, tear me apart from this realm. As the tantalizing power finally subsided, I let myself breath a sigh of relief and turned my attention back to my poor office door, battered and bloodied from the thralls. I dusted off the dirt from my shirt, donned my professional persona and with a deep breath I walked inside.