“You don’t hate her,” Jackie said, more as a statement than a question.

Sofia turned around to face her and slipped the number in her pocket. Jackie wore nothing but panties and a large shirt because of course, she did. “I don’t know,” Sofia replied. “I… I thought I would be angrier.”

Jackie yawned. “I’m sure there are people that would kill to be in your position.”

“Maybe it’s because I wouldn't that I’m ‘suited for it,’” Sofia parroted.

Jackie shrugged. “What's your plan for uh… a balanced diet?”

“I don’t know. You really should go to bed, it's almost morning,” Sofia retorted.

“Eh, I’m taking a sick day after being grievously wounded,” Jackie shrugged. “Any chance you can mind control my professors into giving me an A?”

Sofia didn’t bother replying to that. Instead, she headed for her room.

“Sofia,” Jackie called, the genuineness in her voice surprised Sofia. Sofia stopped to look back at her. “If you ever need to kill someone for a balanced meal… my father more than deserves it.”

Sofia never would have guessed that's what Jackie would say. Jackie rarely mentioned her parents, certainly not her father, though Sofia was pretty sure she heard somewhere that they both lived in Toronto.

In any other circumstance, she would have brushed this off and more Jackie craziness but there was a rawness to her suggestion, a vulnerability that was so unlike her. Jackie wanted Sofia to kill her father. Strange still, she could probably be persuaded.

Sofia chewed on her cheek. “Let's talk about this in the morning. When you're not exhausted.”

Jackie nodded. “Goodnight,” she offered quietly.

Sofia waited for her to go back into her room before she made for the door. She would be trapped in the apartment during daylight, she had no intention to waste the last few hours of darkness. So much had happened, so much needed to be processed. Lying in bed was the last thing she wanted to do. Maybe she couldn't recklessly run through the woods but she could certainly get into some trouble.

When she had been testing her vulnerability to sunlight she had also investigated her lack of reflection. Cameras couldn't pick her up, neither could photos. Anything she held would appear to float but her clothes and anything she wore were just as invisible as she was. It made no fucking sense but she was beyond questioning such things.

It was a short walk to the nearest retail store. Sofia glanced around to ensure the coast was clear before pressing her back to the window and jabbing backwards with her elbow.

The window cracked, Sofia’s body was able to produce far more force than a mortal’s could. She frowned at that train of thought, was that what separated her from humans? Mortality? Eloise’s words were easy to mimic.

Pulling her sleeve up over her hand she batted at a few longer pieces of glass, clearing a path for her through the large window. An alarm would probably be going on, this would all be on video, and there might even be witnesses, still, the police would be endlessly confused.

It was strange to see such a place at night. Though Sofia didn’t actually know what this place would have looked like to her anymore. It might have been empty at night but it wasn’t dark to her eyes. During the day it would have been unbearable.

She grabbed a branded bag and sauntered her way down an aisle. She missed food, human food. Shelves and rows of candy and sweets she would never taste again.

Though Eloise had said feeding on blood would make her nearly alive. Maybe she would be able to tolerate human food again. She hadn’t bothered actually eating any, the orange juice had been off-putting enough. Maybe that could be negated.

Then again with her tastes changed she didn’t as much miss eating sweets as much as what eating sweets meant. She had always had a sweet tooth, yet another part of her taken away by death.

She still filled her bag with some snacks, chocolate bars, chips, and gum. Jackie would be able to enjoy them and maybe Sofia could viciously enjoy them through her.

Sofia continued around the store grabbing various things she didn’t really even need. Dollar store makeup, a colouring book, a bottle of wine. Anything that remotely stood out to her.

This wasn’t a theft of necessity or even desire for anything in particular.

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She was pushing herself… again, this time mentally. Learning how to be… what had Eloise called them? Kindred?

She was breaking the social contract, doing what she wasn’t allowed to do for the fun of it. Easing herself into monstrosity one small step at a time.

Now it was something entirely harmless, massive corporations had the funds to spare on fixing a window. But it wouldn’t always be, Sofia had to walk the line between worlds. She needed to learn how.

Eloise had both given her so much information and frustratingly little. It felt like Eloise’s number was burning a hole in her pocket. What even counted as a real emergency for their kind?

Of course, now she was coming up with questions she should have asked. What could kill them? What would happen if they simply continued to starve? What about holy water and crucifixes? Her mother had plenty of those at her house.

Dawn was soon approaching. The world was a little brighter than when she had left. She squeezed back through the shattered window, made direct eye contact with a wide-eyed man, though her eyes were hidden by glasses, and promptly started walking home.

There was no adrenaline rush to such activities but she did return home with a bag of goodies. She pitied the poor fool who had to explain the security camera footage to their boss.

----------------------------------------

Jackie didn’t sleep in, her schedule didn’t allow for it. Back when she had slept, Sofia had never been able to run on fumes like Jackie could.

Sofia leaned against the counter. She missed sleep. She may have not needed it but she wanted it. The lack of proper rest took its toll even if only in her imagination. Spending a third of one’s life unconscious had seemed kinda stupid, now Sofia craved oblivion.

Jackie struggled to keep her eyes open and sipped at her coffee.

The sun was up now, but with the blackout curtains and some protection Sofia was pretty sure she wasn’t cooking anywhere. She had even been considerate enough to turn the lights on dimly. A compromise so neither of them would be blind.

“Fuck,” Jackie grumbled, rubbing at the sleep in her eyes.

“You really should go back to bed.”

“It will mess up my schedule,” Jackie sighed.

“You more than pulled an all-nighter, Jackie. You need to take care of yourself,” Sofia offered uncomfortably. It was not the usual dynamic she was used to.

“Look who’s talking,” Jackie chuckled.

“I drank some of your blood last night, I’m perfectly fine,” Sofia retorted. A bit of a bold-faced lie. At most, it had been a small snack, but she could endure in a way Jackie couldn’t. How fragile her friend was compared to her. It was… kinda tragic.

“Whatever,” Jamie sighed. “About last night…”

Sofia was pretty sure she knew what Jamie was referring to despite everything that had happened. “When you suggested I eat your Dad?” Sofia asked, just to be certain.

Jackie winced. “Look, I was kinda out of it.”

So that’s the route this conversation was taking. “I’m not saying no,” Sofia returned.

That seemed to catch Jackie off guard even more.

“R-Really?” She frowned.

“I need to eat, you said he more than deserves it.”

Jackie starched out her back and drank more coffee. Now actually trying to wake up for this conversation.

“This is insane, right?” Jackie huffed with disbelief.

Sofia couldn’t really believe what they were discussing either. “In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.”

“What does that even mean?” Jackie groaned. “I’m too tired for philosophical bullshit.”

“People do stupid shit in groups,” Sofia summarized with a snort.

“Murdering my father would be stupid shit?”

Sofia shrugged. “It would be stupid to get caught. Let’s not do that.”

“You are scarily on board,” Jackie frowned.

“I’m fucking starving,” Sofia growled, that inhuman timber returning to her voice.

“I thought you were fine?” Jackie retorted with a smirk.

Sofia took a deep breath. “You try barely eating for a few days and tell me how you feel.”

“So you're not fine?” Jackie smiled.

She was doing it again. Riling her up for no reason that Sofia could see. What was Jackie gaining from pissing her off?

“I am hungry, Jackie. Obviously,” she sighed in annoyance. Jackie had always been one to push people's buttons but this felt like more. “You will have to give me more though. Why him? Why your father?”

Jackie scowled, her playful mood seeming to dim. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“I can’t kill someone if I don’t know the world will be better off without them.”

“How high and mighty of you,” Jackie scoffed.

“Jackie, I… I need to draw the line somewhere. I have to be able to justify my own existence, because if I can't… then the only moral thing to do is kill myself.”

“Says who,” Jackie laughed. “You’re a fucking vampire, Sofia. You can do whatever the fuck you want. Get over yourself!”

“Without ethics I have nothing,” Sofia countered, “What good is immortality if I hate every second of it? I have to care, Jackie, it’s the only way I can live with myself!”

Jackie stood, the chair screeching away from the table. “You have everything handed to you and you're still too good for it!”

“Handed to me?! I’m a fucking corpse, Jackie, I was murdered!” Sofia yelled.

“And now your free, you can do whatever the fuck you want. No rules, no obligations. But all you do is whine and mope because you’re a fucking coward!” Jackie spat right back.

Sofia’s mind raced even as her body was entirely calm. Every anger felt different like this. How could Jackie understand? She didn't know what it was like. She hadn't woken up hollow and empty. Jackie’s body did not wither and die in the sun.

They each saw this completely differently. To Jackie it was an escape, to Sofia it was a shackle. The truth was probably somewhere in the middle.

“It's not fair,” Jackie said weakly, the anger deflating out of her. “You don’t even want it.”

“You don’t either,” Sofia replied gently as she sat across from Jackie and tentatively placed a hand on hers. “Talk to me please, I’m on your side. I wouldn’t have made it this far without your help, let me help you.”

“You trying to make me rehash shit that I do my best to forget about is the exact opposite of helping,” Jackie glared, pulling her hand away.

Sofia winced, Jackie did have a point. Her reluctance to say anything painted a certain kind of horrible picture.

“Look at me,” Sofia asked softly. Jackie did, her steely blue eyes full of determination. “Tell me he deserves it.”

“He deserves so much more,” Jackie hissed.

Sofia leaned back more than content to fill in the blanks. To come up with all sorts of horrible reasons why Jackie would ever hate her father so much. Maybe the lines she had already tried to draw were being blurred but she owed Jackie this much. To kill the man that had scared her so. Sofia was too hungry to stay obstinate for long.

“I’ll kill him,” Sofia nodded.

“No, we’ll kill him,” Jackie corrected with finality. “We step into the abyss together or whatever philosophical bullshit you wanna paint it as.”

Sofia couldn’t help the smile that found its way to her face. “To murder then,” Sofia chuckled, holding out her hand.

Jackie shook it firmly, “to revenge.”