Jackie was still texting her, Sofia’s phone kept dinging in her pocket. Not that she could read her phone. Without her glasses and outside in the middle of the day she was not only totally blind but actively beginning to char.

Once her nerve endings melted it wasn't too bad. Far better than being cold, better than that sliver of absolute nothingness.

Sofia knew it had been an accident but it had scared her, really scared her. She had died again. Not the slow bleeding out of her first death but the instant snap of nothingness. People died like that all the time, dead before they could even realize they were dying. They just didn't wake back up.

It was the closest to mortal she had felt in months. Even burning in the sun like this hardly mattered when she would heal. If she healed. Lost, disoriented and quickly burning to death her odds weren't great. That probably should have concerned her more.

She could feel the numbness returning. The life drained out of her as her body struggled to repair the damage. She was tired, so fucking tired. That moment of nothingness was probably the only total peace she had in two months since she had…

Sofia didn't want this. Maybe Jackie loved her, maybe she loved Jackie. But was it vampirism making her more of a monster or Jackie? Jackie had been her only source of comfort since all this began, but she had also encouraged her to kill, to embrace her power, to bring Jackie along for the ride.

The one time Jackie had been truly rocked was the blood bond, Sofia had gone out of her way to fix that. Jackie hadn’t rocked her, not until now. But she had kept nudging, again and again and again.

It was becoming an endless cycle. She would shatter, and Jackie would put her back together and continue rolling her up the slope until she fell and shattered again. How long until there isn't anything left of her?

She knew it wasn't malicious. Jackie was as desperate as she was not to be alone. Sofia was Jackie’s chance to truly be seen.

It couldn't just continue like this. Jackie didn't fall apart because she simply didn't care about any of this. She did not question her own existence or her own worth, she revelled in monstrous acts regardless of how noble she claimed them to be. That's what made her a monster.

Sofia was at least a monster with a conscience, her own existence was torture. Either she became a monster body and soul, embraced the horrors and lived in ecstasy or… she could make the world a better place.

“Sofia!” Jackie cried, her voice getting closer. Sofia had almost forgotten the terrible situation she was in. Here came her saviour. A lonely woman who trusted her and put all her faith in her.

Was it time? Did she need to do the unthinkable and put Jackie down?

She could feel pressure around her. Jackie’s arms if she had to guess.

“I’m sorry, I-I’m so sorry, please forgive me,” Jackie sobbed.

Sofia was pretty sure she was being moved. It was hard to tell. The only sense she really had anymore was hearing but everything was muffled.

“Don’t leave me, p-please,” Jackie begged.

If Sofia could have spoken she would have tried to reassure her.

Blood dripped into her mouth, vitality began seeping back into her. Her whole body tingled as she took a croaking inhale. She felt the wood below her, the lingering smell of skunk. They were in the old cabin.

“It’s ok, it’s all ok, just drink,” Jackie coaxed as she fed Sofia more blood.

“I can’t… I can’t do this… anymore,” Sofia murmured.

“Don’t say that. You’ll be fine, it’s ok,” Jackie pleaded, cradling Sofia’s head.

Sofia shook her head weakly, she felt Jackie’s fingers intertwined between hers. She licked the blood from her lips. Her body was beginning to knit itself back together again, but it was slow. She was still blinded and frail. So close to peace.

Eloise had been wrong, this life did not suit her. Despair was winning.

“This needs to end, please,” Sofia croaked, her voice a little more sturdy.

“You can't leave me,” Jackie begged.

“Let me drain you,” Sofia said with a shuddering sigh.

“N-No, it doesn't have to end, Sofi, we can have so much more time. Please.”

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“You must come with me, loving me, to death; or else hate me, and still come with me,” Sofia recited, her body couldn't even sob as the moment deserved.

“What about our plans, what about your family?” Jackie protested.

“I c-can’t, Jackie, I can’t,” Sofia begged.

“What in the Thespis is going on here?”

Sofia would recognize that voice anywhere.

“Eloise,” Jackie muttered. “How…”

Sofia felt Eloise approach and crouch beside her. ‘Oh my darling, I’m so sorry,” she cooed, gently running her cool hand over Sofia’s face.

Sofia’s chest spasmed, trying to sob. “This is… a-all your fault.”

“I know, I shouldn't have left,” Eloise offered with what sounded like genuine regret. “I can read minds, not futures. I… fucked it all up.”

“Just kill me… please,” Sofia forced out. She was just tired.

“Oh childe, let's get you somewhere dark and safe,” Eloise said instead before picking her up.

Sofia snorted at her line of thought before it bubbled into a laugh. “I don’t even know how to die, h-how stupid is that?”

“You’re not stupid, Sofia. You’re more precious than you know.”

Sofia didn't respond to that. “Jackie?”

“She’s right here,” Eloise reassured. “Just thought some privacy might be for the best.”

“You eye blasted her?”

Eloise chuckled but didn’t answer her. “Here, carry that and protect us from the sun. let’s go get our friend here somewhere safe.”

Sofia sighed and relaxed into Eloise’s chest. On the bright side, she had already had a breakdown and tried to kill herself. How much worse could it get?

----------------------------------------

Sofia sat in the bathtub practically buried in bubbles. Of course, Eloise magically had a room at the nicest hotel in Gem Creek. She hadn't spoken a word since the cabin.

Jackie and Eloise were arguing outside, though it mostly consisted of Jackie yelling and Eloise trying to calm her down. The only respite had been when Eloise had practically kicked her out and told her not to come back until she had gotten whatever blood the butcher had. Despite being unfamiliar with Gem Creek, Jackie had returned surprisingly fast.

Eloise knocked briefly before entering and closing the door. “How are you feeling?”

For the first time, Eloise didn’t look pristine and powerful. She looked worn, worried, and a little singed from the sun.

“I brought you more blood,” Eloise continued when Sofia didn't respond, she held out the mug she had brought.

Sofia took it and brought it to her lips. Microwaved pig’s blood was utterly disappointing, the only saving grace was that it was just fresh enough to have a little spark left. An extra kick she really needed when regenerating so much of her body.

“How did you even find us?” Sofia finally asked, her mouth feeling dry.

“We’re family, not so different from the way you can feel Jackie. Honestly, since Toronto I’ve been… staying in your vicinity just in case,” Eloise offered.

“Well whoop dee doo, you got to swoop in and save the day,” Sofia muttered before blowing bubbles in the bathtub.

“There are reverberations to such extreme emotions if you know where to look. The last time I felt… that was shortly before Miriam’s death. I won’t feel bad about keeping an eye on you, certainly not now,” Eloise expanded.

Sofia shook her head with a sigh. “You could have just stayed. Explained shit to me, helped me.”

Eloise took a deep breath. “Perhaps. I… that's what I did with Miriam, I did not want to repeat past mistakes. You were so very strong when I found you, I thought perhaps tossing you out of the nest would be best. I was wrong, I am deeply sorry.”

Sofia shrugged. What did it even matter anymore anyway? She sipped on her blood. She could feel Eloise watching her but she didn't bother looking over.

“Sofia, please,” Eloise said ever so gently. “We’re the last two left.”

“What?” Sofia asked, that certainly got her attention.

“We’re the last of our bloodline and I haven’t heard a whisper of another kindred in more than a century,” Eloise offered.

“Oh…” Sofia muttered. She had never considered that as a possibility. “How old are you?” Sofia asked.

“144,” Eloise offered simply. It was strange to see her serious, so far she had always been playful and chaotic.

“I thought you would be older,” Sofia snorted.

Eloise said nothing but Sofia could make out a hint of a smile which flickered out just as quickly. “I need you Sofia, if I have any hope of rebuilding what’s been lost I need allies, I need family. I know you’re still angry with me, that’s why I was going to give it time but I think you need me just as much.”

“I have Jackie,” Sofia countered.

“Yes, but one person cannot be everything, certainly not someone like her,” Eloise replied.

“Someone like her?” Sofia glared.

Eloise rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to psychoanalyze your girlfriend. I’ve had a peek in her head, so have you.”

“She’s a monster,” Sofia said numbly. “I think… I think I have to kill her.”

“That’s your prerogative,” Eloise shrugged. “But people like her are the humans we can keep around.”

“We were play fighting, she punched me in the nose so hard she killed me,” Sofia offered.

Eloise chuckled at that. “I’m not one to judge, darling. But you may simply need to train her better.”

“She’s not a pet,” Sofia hissed, the first genuine emotion finally piercing through the weight of everything.

Eloise sighed and gently placed a hand over Sofia’s. Sofia hadn’t really noticed the claws before, no wonder she kept them painted. Would Sofia grow claws?

“She is a pet,” Eloise retorted firmly. “That does not mean you have to treat her any less, love her any less but you are responsible for her. It is your job to reign her in. Kindred and humans will never be equal, they are our food.”

Sofia shook her head. “This… I don’t want to be like you, like that. So detached from humanity,” she sighed shakily. “I can’t live like this.”

Eloise pulled her hand away and adjusted her sunglasses. “You remind me so much of myself when I was young.”

Sofia sighed. Was that supposed to make her feel better? She didn’t remotely feel better.

It was almost strange to see the world untinted. To see without a barrier. Sofia practically never took her glasses off. Now they were destroyed. She couldn’t hide what she was now.

The water had long cooled off, but she didn’t really care. The bathroom was dim and cozy.

“Humans are a kindred’s best friend. They live such short fragile lives, they are weak and nearly defenceless, but fiercely loyal and protective. They live so much because they die so much. They are the opposite of us, we live too long. Entropy is… inevitable,” Eloise eventually spoke.

“You are young, you think like a human, I can’t fault you for that. But… you don't know what you don’t know. Your blood will keep Jackie alive, it will also destroy her, she will adapt to immortality but still be mortal. You will be left with a shell one day and when that time comes… killing her will be the humane and kind thing to do,” Eloise continued.

Sofia had no idea where this was going.

“But for the love of fucking Christ, Sofia. Don’t you dare destroy something so rare and beautiful. That would truly be inhumane,” Eloise concluded.

Sofia had no idea how to even begin responding to that.

“She would have done it, you know. She didn’t want to die but she would have for you,” Eloise added softly.

Sofia closed her eyes wishing her body was warm enough to feel the pain. The heartache, the regret, the guilt. The fear.

“Can you… give us some privacy. I need to talk to her,” Sofia eventually replied. She had fucked up so badly, how did she even go about repairing this?

Maybe she could do this with Eloise. With the help of someone who had answers. Someone who could make her less disgusted with herself. Someone who could see the beauty where she struggled.

Jackie may have fucked up but she wasn’t the only one.