Sofia emerged from the bathroom wearing the hotel bathrobe and Eloise’s backup glasses. As promised Eloise had left, actually giving them privacy.

Jackie sat on the bed, “F-For the record, I was totally eavesdropping,” she offered with a small smile.

“I’m sorry,” Sofia sighed.

“Is that an apology or a warning?” Jackie asked.

“I’m not going to kill you,” Sofia sighed.

“Not until it’s time,” Jackie retorted, Sofia grimaced.

“I know you don’t like it, God knows I don’t like her but… she’s probably right,” Jackie pointed out.

Sofia shrugged, more in acceptance than anything else.

Jackie chewed her lip. “I didn’t mean to hit you, not like that.”

“I know,” Sofia replied, adjusting her robe. Jackie's panic had been enough of an apology. Somehow she had been more scared than Sofia was.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” Jackie offered.

“There’s nothing to fix, Jackie. I’m not angry with you.”

“That’s worse, I don’t even know where to begin with apathy,” Jackie huffed.

“Let’s just… forget today happened,” Sofia suggested, rubbing her face with a hand.

“Sofia, you tried to kill yourself… that’s—you have a pattern of hurting yourself,” Jackie replied, her hands restless in her lap. One of her arms was bandaged.

“I know,” Sofia replied weakly as she sat beside Jackie. “I… I don’t know if we should do this,” she began, building up her courage.

“Do what?” Jackie asked.

“Be a… thing,” Sofia clarified, waving a hand between them. “I don’t know if it’s healthy.”

Jackie’s throat bobbed. “Ok,” she replied, failing to fully hide the tremor in her voice.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t give you what you want. Let alone what either of us need.”

Jackie nodded stiffly, trying to maintain her composure.

“If Eloise hadn’t shown up I would have drained you and you would have let me,” Sofia added. “That’s… bad.”

Jackie nodded tightly. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” Sofia cut in, taking her hands. “I love you… but I think we need space. This isn’t good for either of us.”

Tears streamed down Jackie’s cheeks despite the fact she wasn’t making a sound. “What-what the fuck and I supposed to do? I don’t even have an apartment anymore.”

“I’m not kicking you out. The house is big enough for you to have your own space,” Sofia replied.

“I can’t stay with you,” Jackie huffed with disbelief.

“I don’t want you out of my life,” Sofia said resolutely.

“I… I can’t stay… not…” Jackie just shook her head. “I can’t just dial it back.”

Sofia sunk her teeth into her cheek to stop herself from saying anything. She never wanted to let Jackie go, but they would destroy each other. If this is what Jackie needed then this is what had to happen.

When you love something, you let it go.

Sofia had to let her go. It still hurt when Jackie pulled away from her.

This whole thing had been a whirlwind, they had come so close to crashing and burning. Sofia had to end it. If she didn’t they wouldn’t ever walk away from this.

As horrifyingly romantic as it was, it was horrifying.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“I’m gonna pack my things,” Jackie offered quietly.

Sofia didn’t stop her from leaving but her gaze lingered on the door. Her heart would have ached if it wasn’t cold.

She longed for Jackie to come back but Sofia had been the one to tell her to go. Worse was the feeling she should have done that a long time ago, that this never should have happened in the first place.

She couldn’t love Jackie properly, not in a way that wouldn’t destroy them. It had to be this way.

“What did you do?” Eloise asked the moment she returned.

“I broke up with her, she left,” Sofia replied, sprawled out on the bed.

Eloise shook her head. “Seriously?! I tell you not to waste what you have and you just toss it away?”

“We wouldn’t have survived each other,” Sofia replied flatly.

“Oh for Christ’s sake,” Eloise grumbled as she hung her parasol up on the coat rack. “You do know pushing people away is exactly the opposite of what you should be doing?”

“She would have let me kill her, Eloise,” Sofia retorted. “We went from friendly roommates to willing to die for each other in two and a half fucking months. It was never going to work, at least she’s alive this way.”

Eloise took a deep breath but this time no lecture came. “How very kind.”

Sofia shrugged. “I need to get home before my parents start to worry. and tell them Jackie is leaving. Fuck man, we were here not even a day before everything fell apart.”

“Everything can change in an instant, and you had your wake-up call.”

“I thought… being home would make me feel normal,” Sofia admitted. “That somehow it would make everything ok.”

“And when it became clear that was not the case it was the straw that broke the vampire's back. I understand,” Eloise offered, hanging up her jacket.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” Sofia asked.

Eloise pursed her lips and considered it for a moment. “No,” she replied simply.

----------------------------------------

For the first time since this all began Sofia was genuinely alone. She had a phone number, one Eloise wouldn’t dispose of after a single call. She still had Jackie’s number too, she wasn’t strong enough to delete that.

Coming home had been terrifying. Part of her wanted Jackie to be there still, part of her wanted her to have already left.

Jackie had already gone. Her suitcase and belongings were packed and taken with her.

Sofia sat on her bed. “Now what?” She asked the empty room.

Eloise had told her to spend some time with family, to talk some time for herself.

But home wasn’t home anymore. The last of her chains had fallen away. Sofia was entirely free.

She could still find a way to die, to end it all but… what was the point of that?

She could do whatever the fuck she wanted, it seemed like a waste now.

When she wasn’t in the company of humans she didn’t hate herself quite as much. Her family was still around, and Sofia knew she couldn’t stay.

The only path forward with any meaning or purpose involved Eloise. The woman who had murdered her.

That wasn’t entirely true. There was something she wanted to do. Her flesh was cold and lifeless, she doubted she would even pass as living if someone really looked at her. She needed to hunt.

She could feel Jackie still, the thread thinning with distance. She wasn’t in Gem Creek anymore. How long until Sofia wouldn’t feel her at all? How long until the bond faded?

Part of her still felt like she should have turned Jackie, that maybe that would have fixed the imbalance. But… the idea of Jackie as a vampire scared Sofia. That said enough.

Sofia sighed and hopped up from her bed. It was evening, she couldn’t stay here any longer. She needed a goal, something to work towards. Eloise had offered her that.

Maybe it was time to see how a vampire lived.

Before she called Eloise she pulled out her phone to text Jackie. She didn’t want to leave things on a bad note. She didn’t want them to be over either. But they did both need a break, things had been too much too fast.

“I still want you in my life, Jackie, please do keep in touch. Our story isn’t over yet and hopefully, our paths will converge again soon. I wish you the best.❤️”

She read her message over far too many times before she sent it. If Jackie needed physical space then she would accept it, as long as it wasn’t over for good. They had gone through too much for this to be their end.

Sofia’s phone bleeped with a reply a minute later. “I’ll miss you even if we both need a break. Don’t replace me while I’m gone, you won’t find a better Renfield than me. XOXO.”

Sofia smiled down at her phone. Jackie had left before they were even able to talk things through further, a habit she honestly might have picked up from Sofia. But just knowing that this was temporary let her relax a little.

Who knew what they would be the next time they met. But regardless of their type of relationship, they were blood buddies to the end.

Sofia called Eloise.

“I told you to be normal for a while,” Eloise sighed in answer.

“How long until the bond fades?” Sofia asked.

“I suppose I should have seen this coming,” Eloise muttered. “Really who knows, it’s physical as much as it is psychological. Considering your… relationship I would wager it will linger a long while.”

“I already feel better,” Sofia retorted. “So… what’s the plan? Am I just gonna shadow you around to see how you do things? Are we going back to Toronto?”

Eloise sighed. “No, I figured you would want to spend time with your family.”

“If I’m not doing something I’m going to lose my mind,” Sofia groaned.

“You want to see what I do? Fine, I’ll send you an address, meet me there at 8 pm,” Eloise conceded.

“I’ll be there,” Sofia replied, just happy to have something to do.

She texted her parents to let them know she would be out late tonight with Jackie before she headed back home. Considering Jackie spent a week in hospital their visit was unfortunately very short. Oh… had they forgotten to mention that? Oops.

Sofia glanced over at the side of the bed where Jackie had slept. They had been there one night, not even one night without conflict. She had left Jackie to go out and then… everything in the morning. A break was definitely needed.

She couldn’t help but hope they would be able to make it work one day. Sofia had no plans to replace her. But only time would tell, she needed to adapt and Jackie needed to grow if they had any hope of that happening.

And well… even if that wasn’t an option maybe they could just be friends or friendly. Hunting partners anyway, she wished they had gotten in a hunt before everything had fallen apart. She wished they had had more time. She wished so many things that didn’t matter anymore.

She needed to move forward, to start building a life for herself. Eloise hopefully gave her security. One couldn’t reach love and belonging in the hierarchy of needs without both physiological needs and safety. She had been lacking the second one, even with Jackie.

Trying to psychoanalyze her own life was a fool's game. But Jackie alone could never be everything, the same went for Sofia. They both needed more stability to build upon so they could be their best selves.

Sofia’s parents were not the most thrilled with Sofia skipping out on the first family dinner in months but they didn’t push it. If Sofia was here for the summer they would have plenty of other opportunities. Sofia had no fucking idea what she was going to do to handle that, she couldn’t eat human food. An occasional nibble made her feel a little queasy. A meal, projectile vomiting seemed likely.

She slipped out of the house well into the evening. It was light still, she was famished, not the best combination. But with the appropriate attire, she would manage. She adjusted her new sunglasses, Sofia was pretty sure they were better than her old ones. She would ask Eloise about the brand later. She somewhat preferred this style anyway.

Sofia took off down the driveway. Her body became lighter with every step until she was practically gliding down the road. She was getting better, more misty. Another thing to bother Eloise about later.

She was putting a lot of faith in Eloise, she liked to think she was a good judge of character but one never really knew. But then again, Eloise didn’t want anything from her but her alliance. She didn’t even seem particularly keen on hanging out with her even if she did show some fondness.

Sofia didn’t have much of an option but to roll the dice. Still, she had a good feeling about things. Despite the ache of the loss of Jackie, she dared to say she was almost optimistic about things.