> Country music is like a stinky poo. It's bad and I hate it and Dad makes it in the toilet.
>
> - Evans Kidderson, age 4. Son of music producer Tracy Kidderson. Whether the music in question is produced in the lavatory remains unconfirmed, but considered likely.
I was under attack. My very life was threatened. After the frankly disastrous ritual, I received a number of notifications.
Achievement UNLOCKED!:
A Portal to Hell:
You summoned a demon! Like thousands of dungeons before you, you realize that the denizens of Hell are a usefull tool... for a price. Caveat Emptor.
(This achievement has no apparent benefits.)
Achievement UNLOCKED!:
Great at Parties:
Of course you summoned a succubus. Everybody loves succubi. That's their whole deal. Don't worry, we'll keep this just between the two of us ok? No judgement here. Perfectly natural.
(This achievement's effects have been overridden!)
Achievement UNLOCKED!:
Oh DAMN!:
You managed to freak out a demon! How? Why? It takes a lot to make the incarnations of evil think you've gone too far, but you certainly did! We'd tell you not to do it again, but I think we all can agree that whatever kind of sick you are, probably can't be cured.
(This achievement may nullify other benefits.)
Notice: You have attracted the interest of Kelly. (Titles ommited)
Achievement UNLOCKED!:
Betrayal most foul:
Relationships are important. The bonds of friendship, loyalty, love. These things empower us. They spur us on to greatness. The simple knowledge that you have someone's back, and that they have yours. Plus friends are much easier to sacrifice to the hells than enemies, but you knew that didn't you?
(This achievement has no apparent benefits.)
I got a red box. Me! Somehow this clearly faulty ritual I had been provided got me a RED achievement! It took away my benefits! I'm not 100% sure I wanted whatever benefit I got, considering the effects of that crazy cockroach one, but it was MINE! Naturally, I reached back out to Konnokxzoz to demand an explanation.
I was placed on hold. Which was a massive problem. First, the hold music was quite terrible. (I've never really been a fan of the whole Screams of the Damned as a genre, and the piano they got to replace the lyrical section was just slightly out of tune.) Secondly, this connection costs mana. While I did get a decent influx from Stephanie's... departure, as she herself at least did seem to be imbued with mana, most of my mana stores had gone into casting the ritual in the first place. The small trickle of regeneration provided by my title was just barely smaller than the amount required to maintain the connection. I was slowly losing mana, just for being on hold.
Normally technical support is quite friendly. They absolutely could have made this a toll-free call. They even did refund the initial cost of my reaching out to them once they read my aura and thought I was a hero. I waited until after they had refunded the cost of the call to disabuse them of that notion. Regardless they switched my call to a toll-free line after that. Now though, they were charging me.
So I had a decision to make. Do I cut the call, or do I stay on hold and hope they connect me before my mana runs out and my regen shuts off forever? On the one hand, I do still need technical help. On the other hand, I'm stuck as a damaged core on a mana-less wasteland surrounded by filthy insects and will almost certainly die unless I can figure out how to get shit moving. Those might be the same hand. Also, I might be thinking about things that are supposed to be in the no-thinky box. On the actual other hand, if I don't get connected soon I'll die a slow and horrible death from mana loss.
I just realized it. While the Hells are usually hesitant to try and kill dungeon cores, that's mostly for fear of getting a bad review. I can't even leave a review because of my lack of mana. The absolute FIENDS!
How dare they? They're actually trying to kill me! The absolute NERVE of them! I'm gonna stay on the line and absolutely INSIST on speaking to a manager about this outrageous assassination attempt. Decision made!
I waited, feeling the mana slowly leech out of me a tiny bit at a time. Drip by drip. Ounce by ounce. Soon I wouldn't even have enough mana left to cut off the call. The point of no return. Slowly approaching. My doom. Death. Final termination. The Big Cheese. Not sure if that last one was right. This was bad. The music changed to the next track on the album. It's a classical cover of "Sonnets of Branded Flesh" I hate it so much.
...
I may have made a mistake. While I was distracted by the hold music I slipped past the point of no return. I can't disconnect the call anymore. I was gonna die.
*click*
Achievement UNLOCKED!:
HELLO:
Not everyone get's the opportunity to see their death coming. Fewer still have the courage to choose to face it. You did. For no good reason at all. Seriously stop trying to die!
(This Achievement has no apparent benefit.)
xXRealmDestroyer25489Xx (Secretary)
Hi! Thank you for holding, how can I hinder you today?
I already said why I was on the line earlier didn't I?
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
@RealDungeonCore9753
I would like to speak to a manager about a failed ritual.
xXRealmDestroyer25489Xx (Secretary)
I see. Would you mind If I put you on a brief hold?
@RealDungeonCore9753
Ohgodpleasedon'tIdon'twannadiiieeeeee!!!!!!
There's an uncomfortably long pause.
xXRealmDestroyer25489Xx (Secretary)
Um... that's very sweet of you, but I would prefer we keep this call professional ok?
I did get a dossier on your... tastes.
@RealDungeonCore9753
I'm not flirting with you! I just don't have the mana to sustain the connection!
xXRealmDestroyer25489Xx (Secretary)
Oh...
There's a very long pause. My mana slowly draining away. I probably only got a minute left at this rate.
xXRealmDestroyer25489Xx (Secretary)
I mean. It's not like I am interested, but you could have hinted that you were flirting.
At least a little.
Dignity. I must keep my dignity. Later. While not dying.
@RealDungeonCore9753
OK fine, I WAS flirting a bit.
xXRealmDestroyer25489Xx (Secretary)
That wasn't really very believable you know.
@RealDungeonCore9753
It totally was! Believable! I'm super believable.
xXRealmDestroyer25489Xx (Secretary)
Ya know, if this is where your social skills are at I kinda get why you need
to be into cockroaches.
Ignoring the critical hit to my pride. I must push on!
@RealDungeonCore9753
Ok look, I'd absolutely love to shove your soul into a cockroach and absolutely
ravage you, but right now I'm dying and I really need to speak to a manager,
if only just so that I don't actually die!
...
xXRealmDestroyer25489Xx (Secretary)
First of all, that was better. Second of all, ew, gross. I guess that's on me
for bullying you into that. That's on me, and I regret everything.
I totally see why Kelly would be into you.
*click*
And now I'm on hold again. At least I was switched to a toll-free line. That's nice. Not dying. So very nice.
I think most of that conversation will be placed into the no-thinky box. For the rest of time. Now I'm just stuck here on hold, surrounded by cockroaches. Slimy disgusting cockroaches.
...
Wait a second. These roaches are disgusting. Filthy insects. Trashbugs. Vile horrid things best left unseen.
I don't even have to fight the urge to call them beautiful anymore! I hate them again! Oh thank the System!
I NO LONGER LOVE COCKROACHES!
You have made a discovery.
Achievement UNLOCKED!:
Betrayal most foul:
Relationships are important. The bonds of friendship, loyalty, love. These things empower us. They spur us on to greatness. The simple knowledge that you have someone's back, and that they have yours. Plus friends are much easier to sacrifice to the hells than enemies, but you knew that didn't you?
(Deceased Affinity with betrayed parties. No other known benefits.)
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It has been three days and I am still on hold. That's perfectly ok and not at all annoying. The hold music is fine. I do not despise it. Even when it changed to techno-scream. It's delightful that they've auto-tuned everything beyond the point of recognition. I've always enjoyed Screams of the Damned as a genre. It definitely isn't grating and repetitive. I am happy.
Weirdly enough I actually am happy. The cockroaches are mostly leaving me alone, although they do still seem attracted to The Dark Crevasse. My mana has slowly regenerated now that I'm on a free call line. The humans seem to have left this place abandoned for whatever reason. Best of all, however, I've made a discovery.
I'm healing. While I hadn't been able to store mana beyond a certain level due to the damage I sustained on arrival in this realm, as mana flows out of my core and into the dungeon around me, the missing chunk of my core was being slowly re-grown. I had initially thought that I was going to be cracked for a long time, as magicite crystal normally cannot grow unless immersed in highly concentrated liquid mana, but it would seem that because my core was itself producing the mana that the bleed off through the crack was repairing itself.
As a distinguished core from the AKM track, I of course hadn't been expected to take Forms of Mana, so I couldn't say for sure why that was. It's a course for weirdos who can't just use their natural instincts to shape mana after all. I would suspect however that I wouldn't be able to grow my core through this method since it seems that so far I'm only repairing the damage to the existing crystal. With enough time in my dungeon, I do believe that it should be possible for me to eventually heal enough to be able to create my first monster.
There was even more good news. As mana filled The Dark Crevasse, the dungeon would normally begin to expand. This is in fact how I would normally expand the boundaries of my dungeon, albeit deliberately rather than passively. However here some strange force would prevent my expansion beyond the confines of the area beyond the cabinet. That was... unusual to say the least. Luckily after the second day on hold, the strange lights above had turned off and it had gone away!
After some initial ballooning, my dungeon covered a small bit of the room I entered this realm in. I was able to recover some of the cast-off shards of my core and found I could absorb them to accelerate my healing process. While I don't think I haven't recovered fully, that kickstart inspired me to push ahead and expand to include the entire room.
It appears to be some kind of abandoned shop. The strange light appears to have come from small glass tubes embedded into the ceiling. The architecture is fascinating. The ceiling itself is a layered structure, a frame of metal and wood creates a gap between the true ceiling and a series of large square tiles made of a strange highly ordered organic material. It is in this gap that metal boxes containing the light tubes are embedded and connected by a series of metal cables encased in some kind of rubber. The walls are made from a frame of wooden planks, masterfully crafted, but only crudely, perhaps hastily, fastened together and then concealed by plaster, painted over in white. The wooden floorboards I noted under the cabinet continue throughout the entire space.
Various shelves and cabinets fill the entire room, coated in a thin layer of dust. Conspicuous gaps in the dust hint at various products having been hastily removed from shelves several days ago, likely part of the initial commotion I heard several days ago. The only other sign of recent human presence though... is a large bloodstain pooled in front of the counter at the back corner of the store, right in front of the cabinet I first formed my dungeon under. Someone died there. Probably why the store was abandoned. Although that happened right after I arrived.
I probably got my first kill! Before even founding a dungeon no less! A testament to my glorious ability and potency I'm sure. I think one of my achievements may have even mentioned something about that. Unfortunately that I didn't get any mana for it though.
The room is strange. I'll have to investigate this realm and figure out more about my new home.