What does it feel like to be sitting in your room and doing nothing ? Well, technically the answer is to feel bored but to be honest I don't feel bored. Bored is what you would say when you want to do something but you just don't know what to do.
I don't think it's the same in my case though. I don't have anything to do and I don't want to do anything either.
I have been staring out the window for well over 20 minutes now and I can say that I am not bored. The night is warm. Too warm perhaps because I had to increase my fan speed so I don't suffocate to death.
There isn't much to look out though. It's basically just an empty land that has been sitting here from the day I was born. There isn't much to listen to either apart from the neighbor's television playing some serial.
I am not complaining though ; the silence is comforting and peaceful.
I try to listen harder to what my neighbor's are playing. I don't seem to recognize it. Huh. That's funny. And I thought all housewives watched the same thing. I can already hear Anupama playing downstairs.
After another ten minutes of staring into the distant land belonging to the silent and lonely night, I realize that maybe I do want to do something. But I have nothing to do. Okay! NOW, I am feeling bored.
I decide to call my friend Vijesh. Vijesh said he would be going to Mysore and I mean – well – He DID go but – I just thought that maybe he might not go and would hang out with me and the gang - Sunil, Sujitha, Sonali and Shreya.
I dial his number and hear it ring. He doesn't pick up. Okay now it's starting to get annoying. It's bad as it is that I have over two months before college starts but it's even worse when you have no idea how to pass the time. I have binged like over a hundred anime's. I might as well break the record for the fastest anime watcher and the most number of anime's watched in a month.
I am about to start my third season of My Hero Academia when I hear my name being called.
“KRIYAAANK !!!”
It's mom. I then hear footsteps approach my room.
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“Kriyank-” I see my room door open and my mom steps in. She looks around a bit as if expecting to see me doing or hiding something that I shouldn't.
I take out my ear pods from my ear. “ What happened ?” I ask.
“What are you doing?” she asks, still thinking that perhaps I might be watching porn or something. Yup. Suspicion level 100.
“Nothing, just watching a show” I say. “What happened ?”
“I have some bad news for you.”
Uh-oh.
My college application is canceled ? I know that's not right but that's the only important thing ahead that I am kind of worried about. It's always the important stuff that go wrong every time. Isn't it ?
“Okay ? What is it?”
“Your friend Evelyn's mother called. She is not in good health.”
Evelyn ? Whoa. Where did that come from ?
“What happened ?” I ask.
“She's got cancer. Stage IV.”
* * *
I think it's been over 10 minutes since I have been staring at my phone. My eyes lingering over Sunil's name in the contact list. Should I call him or one of the girls first ? Or maybe should I just try calling Evelyn ?
No wait. What ?
What the hell am I thinking ? I don't think my brain has been this confused in a long time. It's like a box has been opened in my brain, A box filled with emotions and memories. A box that I would have rather preferred to keep shut.
Evelyn has got cancer ? Well, definitely didn't see that coming. And that too stage IV ? Since when did she have it then ? When did it all start ?
It's like someone just threw a brick at my head and I am just waking up now. How did it all come to this ? Three years led to this ?
I hear the line ring and I see Sunil's name on the screen. Guess my brain might not have noticed my hand tapping his number. Yup ; Definitely hit on the head.
I hear the line ring for sometime. I am about to hang up when I hear him pick up.
“Hello?” I hear him say.
“H-Hello ?”
“Yeah bro tell, what's up ?”
I wonder if I should just tell him directly or ask something else first.
“Bro you know, Evelyn's mom called just now.”
“What?” I hear him laugh. “ Whoa, what happened ? She called you ?”
“No” I say. “ She called my mom. She wanted to tell something about Evelyn.”
“Um-mm....Okay, what ?”
“She has got cancer.”
I hear him laugh “She has got cancer-ah?”
“Yeah” I say “ Stage IV”
“Huh?”
“Yeah.”
There's a pause. “ Hey, stop lying, dumbass” he says. I hear him scoff.
“Her mother said that it's terminal.” There's an even longer pause.
“Are you being serious right now? “ he asks. “She has really got cancer ?? I mean this is not like some kind of prank right ?”
I don't say anything. I can still hear Anupama playing downstairs. How loud does mom have to keep the volume ?
“Shit bro. Now what ?”
“I don't know” I say “I don't know.”