I think it's been over ten minutes since I have been looking at the red curtains at my window. I don't remember when we had bought it but I do remember that we used to have yellow curtains before this.

My gaze passes on to the shelf of books near the window. Mom said that it was a bad idea to keep the book shelves there because the books might get knocked down by the wind but honestly it hasn't happened till now.

Plus I don't have any other space in my room also to have the shelf. Because right of the window is my bed and across it, beside my desk is my almirah.

I look down at my phone screen reading the Evelyn's message again. Last night I didn't what to do. I couldn't stop thinking of it. Her in the hospital.

She might have probably lost all her hair by now. After I guess an hour of thinking of the day we stopped texting each other and how I could have ended things differently, I decided to look her up on insta.

I found it pretty quickly. My hand then decided to tap on the 'FOLLOW' button and so it did. I watched the blue button turn to gray 'REQUESTED' and I waited , staring at the screen, thinking that perhaps she might have seen it and accepted it at that moment itself.

But nope.

She accepted it today morning. I immediately sent a message to her. I don't know why immediately but I did. And then again I sat staring at the screen expecting her to text back immediately.

But again nope.

Now finally I see her message :

KRIYANK :

Hey.

EVELYN :

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Just a simple 'Hey'.

Well that's troubling. Because now I have no idea what to say. Should I say 'I am sorry' ? Should I ask 'How are you?' ?

I decide to just tell her from the start.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

KRIYANK :

Your mom called my mom. She told us about you.

EVELYN :

Yea I know.

Okay now what ? What do I say next ? I feel like I am in some sort of race where I have to come up with something fast. My heart hasn't beat this much fast in a along time.

I keep staring at the screen. Should I apologize ? Should I just tell her how I feel ?

No. I don't want her to think that I am trying to get her to come back or something. And in no way in hell she is going to forgive what I did. Perhaps her texting this might be the only form of forgiveness I get. The only form of mercy. But I decide to text her anyways. I don't know why.

KRIYANK :

Listen I am sorry. I just don't know what to say.

EVELYN :

It's ok.

KRIYANK :

I am sorry about what I did.

She doesn't reply after that. I wait for some more time and see but no. She has gone offline.

* * *

“And then she went off offline”.

“Jeez man. I mean what did you think ? That she is just gonna forgive you just like that??” Sunil asks.

“Well I definitely did not but I just thought she might say something.” I reply.

I hear his mom in the background and Sunil covers the phone microphone to say something back.

“Anyways, Sujitha spoke to her” Sunil says. “over VC.”

Why did he have to tell me that ? I feel a stab of pain in my chest. I guess I should be angry that she didn't call me. She only replied through texts that too a maximum of three to four words. But I am not.

I am not angry. I am just disappointed. Because I know I deserve it.

“Ohh” is all I say.

“Yeah – she said that she has already lost all her hair.”

“What type of cancer is it?” I ask.

“Suj said its some immune system cancer. I looked it up. It's something like 'lympho-' something cancer.” he replies.

“Ohh.”

There's a pause. “So what do I do now ?” I ask him.

“Wha-why are you asking me ? How am I supposed to know?”

I sigh.

“You know what would be a bright idea? He says. “If you write her a letter.” He scoffs.

I let out a laugh “Yeah sure.”

And then I start to think – 'that's not such a bad idea after all'. Maybe I should write something to her. I don't know what but maybe I should.

“Bro Kriyank” Sunil says “ I think it's better if you don't think about it too much.”

“Yeah” I say. How can I not think about it ? Even if I don't want to ? It's the only thing that comforts me. To know how I messed it all up. And that's the thing ; no matter how much I don't want to, I still do want to go back there, maybe with the thought that if I change it in my mind it will change in reality too.

“Like maybe you can try apologizing to her again but....i don't know, I mean the doctors say she doesn't have a lot of time, so I guess it's no use bothering about it too much. You can't fix any of it now” he says.

That's true. I mean I can't get her to come back. Her life will end, like all things do in this universe. But maybe I can end it beautifully. Perhaps I can do something to make her world not so ugly after all before she goes.

Evelyn ; For such a beautiful person like you, you deserve a beautiful end to your story.