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19 - Beta

Beta

      I opened my eyes to find no light, but somehow, I can still see.

      Looking down, I see a seemingly infinite number of red threads going out of me. One looks worn and frayed. I reach down and pluck at it. It hums and reverberates until a light shines through. I follow that light as I watch those threads veer off into space. They all branch out like tree roots ever-growing outward and occasionally some of them come back together and continue on.

      'Tis a wonderland, is it not?

      I look around.

      You won't find me, Eve.

      "... What is this?"

      A place you aren't supposed to be. Although, you're never one to hold back with surprising me.

      "What are these... strings? And where is Kay?"

      Those strings, as you so inelegantly called them, are Fate's Threads. A little cliché, in my opinion, but that is hardly my concern. As for Miss Smith, she is the thread you currently see before you. So close is it to snapping. So long have the Beta chewed and chewed her through.

      "The Beta? What do they have to do with this place?"

      That's how they feed, dear. You should know tha- Wait! Yes, indeed. You're here even earlier than the beginning of a new route. How rare! This absolutely has to be recorded.

      Ah. Forgive my manners. My true name is… well, not conceivable by you and yours. Though "Nar" was given to me once. But you know my human form by another, "Kyle Bartholum" is the name you chose.

      "What the hell? What could you possibly mean?"

      Oh. Oh my. Well, this is awkward. I'm going to just go now.

      "No, you fucking don't. What is going on?!"

      Always so stubborn. This is about Miss Smith, yes? Her thread is nearly ruined. Only the Beta can truly modify Fate's Threads. Smith's is all but... gone. Before long, it will snap along with her soul.

      "The Beta… change peoples' threads? Their... fate?"

      A simplistic way to think of it, but close enough. The threads are their means of sustenance. A singular Beta won't go through even one person's thread in that person's lifetime. But when they conglomerate, and they do because of these complex reasons, reasons I won’t bother to explain to you. When they conglomerate, all you need to know is that havoc ensues. They are parasites, ones who hungrily devour entire universes, ever-thirsting, in search of home.

      "You know all of this!? And you don't help us? You don't interfere? Kyle doesn't help us? You're both monsters!"

      Such words can only sting so many times. I am but a humble recorder of events. And Scribe knows not of the events. Neither does Temper, Knight, Mother, or Silence. Indeed, only Loyalty, Queen, and Moderator know the whole truth.

      Well, Queen is the exception to the rule and Loyalty is an experiment.

      But I digress. Give up on Kay Smith and land your killing blow. Or else watch her fall to Eld and become even madder still.

      "I refuse."

      Then you will die.

      "I won't!"

      You're so stubborn. Why can you not just let even a single story go according to plan? Why must you always, always act off the cuff? But I don't hate that about you. If Fate finds us, I'll be in sooo much trouble. Her temper is legendary. Just ask the Titans. Bah! Follow this thread and you will find Miss Smith.

      The red thread from before shimmers faintly and starts to writhe toward the light.

      Mayhap you can change her fate in only the way a Beta can. But be warned, her fate has always been twisted. Her love of decadent violence is who she has always been and who she will forever be fated to be.

      I nod toward the sound of this being’s voice. Whoever it may be, wherever it may be. As I think to take a step forward, my body moves alongside the thread. I sense myself getting further from the voice from before and closer to my destination.

      "I do have one more question before we are separated."

      I promise no answers.

      "I assume all these threads belong to other people then?"

      Indeed. Everyone there was, is, or could be.

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      "Then why do they all seem to come from me?"

      The light overtakes me. In the distance echoes a final statement that leaves me cold.

      Of course all things are connected at the beginning.

      My mind is wracked with confusion. Neurons fire off, trying to process information no mortal was supposed to have knowledge of. What does he mean by that? What was going on?

      Scared. I was scared – legitimately, fully, scared. I have never been so frightened in my life, and so many things are coming down around me, things I can't explain are being revealed. Some secrets the world has kept hidden are starting to peek through. I thought I had gotten through everything when I resolved my situation with the Rei of my world. I even decided I would stop denying my feelings for all the others. But this is too much.

      "Kill?"

      "Kill," an ominous voice echoes.

      "Kay?" I don’t know who the voice belongs to and I’m still disoriented.

      Before me is a mass of black sludge, with only Kay's head peeking through it. The whole thing seems to pulsate and move with life.

      "Kill!" Again it shouts, except this time, a massive tendril comes down at me. I steel myself and meet the tendril with my fist.

      "I did not come here to fucking fight!" I scream as we collide.

      The tentacle explodes into ooey, gooey bits. The Kay-beast repeats herself again, and once more I cause sludge to rain down from the sky. Again and again, she lashes out at me to no avail.

      All the while, she chants the word "kill." I can't resist thinking back to those words from before – what did this "Nar" mean by all people starting at me?

      I slam into another tentacle

      I am just a normal girl.

      Another explodes.

      Well, I mean, I was.

      Six more tendrils rush me and I take them all out as I continue towards Kay.

      I was, at least, until I was taken to another fucking world.

      Until I was given a title I neither asked for nor deserved.

      Two more tendrils, and I arrive at Kay. By now, I’ve long surpassed anger. I am feeling my sorrow, and I feel so manipulated. Beings I can't possibly understand are toying with my life.

      I muster the effort to climb up Kay’s disgusting prison. My fingers slide through pockets of puss and force them to pop. The yellow-green goop within washes over my fingers.

      Avoiding the urge to throw-up, I continue to climb up her tower of disgust. But…

      As I reign supreme over my would-be mountain, I look down at Kay and see her twisted form. She has never once stopped repeating her mantra of “kill” until now. Her wild eyes and her smile that cracks to them, turn toward me. Her pointed, grotesque teeth snap at me from a distance much too far to accomplish anything.

      “Kay. I’m sorry you ended up like this. I’m sorry that you were defiled. I’m sorry Ame wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

      But what do I do? Nar suggested I put her out of her misery, but I won't. I refuse. This horrid pustule prison did not exist during our fight. This cannot be the real world. This has to be a world of spirits or souls, if I'm interpreting everything right.

      "All things are connected at the beginning." He told me.

      I can understand how, in a way, I'm the beginning of this horror story and the pain brought to this world. People I don't know, and have never even met, are connected to me.

      I need to breathe. I need to focus. I need to accept that I am something else. I need to accept that there is more to me, and that I can do this. I need to be the spark that starts it all.

      The ember.

      My resolve strengthened, I resume my task once more. "I will bring you back to me Kay!"

      I plunge my arms into the oozing pit. The sickening sounds are nothing to me as I feel more of Kay. Using all of my strength I pull and I pull. She screams that she will kill me and bites at me like a rabid animal, but I ignore her protestations and pull.

      Nothing is happening. Damnit! I refuse. I will pull until the end of time if I have to in order to save her. I look her in the eyes and I watch my reflection as it struggles. The girl before me shows so much determination that I refuse to be beaten.

      “Kay! I love you! You will not die here, I swear it!”

      For the first time, she stops talking. A measure of lucid recognition crosses her face. I will accept that as proof of my struggle and I will use it to fuel me on. My muscles feel like they're ripping free from one another and my bones, but I do not waver. My spine itself feels herniated and my eyes have taken on an unusual color of red, but still, I pull.

      I see my eyes reflected in Kay’s and they terrify me – red pupils and a redder sclera. I must have... popped something, but that's okay. That's all it is. Everything is okay if I save Kay. My very life will be given if that’s what it takes.

      I feel a warmth inside of me as a lost memory reaches the surface. At least, I think it’s mine. It’s hazy and disjointed, but it’s me, and I am so, so alone. It’s me, with Kay and everyone else.

      It’s me avoiding that loneliness at all costs. This is me following through. With one last yank, with my entire being in it, a power I do not recognize as my own or that of Rei’s surges through me and a dark aura envelopes me. With my strength renewed yet again, I am able to force Kay enough to feel the slightest of movements.

      Elation takes over and I pull again. After that initial crack in her curse, it became so much easier. A few minutes later and one last tug, and Kay comes rocketing out. The momentum of her finally dislodging carries me backward with it and we both tumble down the sickening darkness.

      She lands on top of me and we are face-to-face. Her wide-eyed stare slowly focuses in on me. “You are…” her voice carries just enough for my ears alone. She doesn’t seem to understand what has transpired, but that’s okay. I would rather have her alive than for her to recognize who I am.

      “I'm here.”

      I reach out to tuck some of her hair behind her ear so I can get a better view of the beautiful woman before me. The smallest hint of red washes over her cheeks and a serene silence takes over us both.

      The world we’re in starts to crumble as cracks splinter their way through the area, and everything is washed away with only a single, ominous memory hanging on:

      Mayhap you can change her fate in only the way a Beta can.