Rory slapped away a pair of clawed hands as they tried to unbutton his shirt. He shook an annoyed finger up at the looming Karnakian. "I told you, I'm fine!"

"[I just wanted to check]," said The Silken Feather. She lowered her head to Rory's height and nuzzled his chest. "[I don't smell any blood. Did you hurt your ribs?]"

He clenched his jaw as he heard a chorus of snickers behind him. Ah, it was a wonderful thing to have such supportive colleagues. Rory turned and gave Oscar, Zara, and the Things a good dose of the Hairy Eyeball. The sight of Oscar's grin made up his mind; he'd had enough of this nonsense. He needed to know what the hell was going on.

Before Rory could reconsider he reached up and grabbed at the feathers dangling from the Karnakian's wing-arm. "Silk, follow me," he growled as he tugged the alien towards the opposite end of the warehouse.

The giant raptor blinked in surprise, but allowed Rory to tow her in the desired direction. Once they were out of earshot of anyone else, he rounded on her and crossed his arms.

"What is all this?" he demanded.

For her part, The Silken Feather folded her hands together and appeared as the very picture of innocence. Or, at least as much as she could manage while sporting a mouth full of teeth the size of steak knives. "[All of what?]"

Rory waved a hand back-and-forth between themselves. "This...this thing you keep doing with me! Zara was squibbed just as much as I was, but you're not fussing over her!"

The Karnakian glanced over at Zara, who was in the middle of a huddle with Oscar and Valentin. "[True, but to be honest I'm more interested in you.]" She lowered her head again, this time peering intently into Rory's eyes. That intensity didn't soothe Rory's nerves.

He sighed in frustration. "Interested how? You know...I mean, I hear stories of humans and aliens...er, yanno."

She tilted her head. "[You refer to us having sexual intercourse?]"

Her bluntness made him cough in embarrassment. "Yeah, that."

The Silken Feather sidled closer, her eyes never leaving his. Rory swallowed and forced himself to breathe slowly while a feathered arm snaked its way around his shoulders. His nose practically touched the tip of the pebbled skin at the end of her snout, and he could feel the warmth of her breath washing over his face as she spoke.

"[My dear [Rory], shall I tell you what I'm offering you?]"

Rory took a deep breath. Shit, she really was interested in him in that way and now he'd have to figure out how to turn down the amorous advances of a sapient apex predator that could kill him with a single claw-flick. "Yes! After all, I did ask," he replied with a shaky laugh.

"[It's the most beautiful phrase in any language.]"

He swallowed hard again. "Um, okay. Lay it on me?"

The Silken Feather moved her snout forward, brushing her thin scaly lips against his cheek as she whispered into the almost-terrified human's ear.

"[Fifty Percent.]"

Now it was Rory's turn to blink in surprise. "Wait, what?"

She pulled back and grinned. Not even the sight of so much teeth could break Rory's befuddlement. "[I'm offering you a fifty percent cut, silly billy.]"

"I don't get it. You want to give me half of your share from this job?"

Now the Silken Feather turned to the wall of the warehouse, hugging Rory sideways as she gestured. Somehow he knew the expansive sweep of her arm indicated the galaxy at large and not just the chipped cinder blocks in front of them. "[I'm not talking about this job. I'm talking about the future! You've got far too much skill and potential to just sit here on [Earth] doing petty [grifting].]"

Rory breathed out a sigh of relief upon hearing she wasn't about to throw herself on him. Then his eyes widened. "You mean...you and me, partners?"

"[Why not?]"

He began ticking off points on his blunt fingers. "One, I'd need to apply to the placement program. Two, thanks to my, heh, colorful past there's no way they'd accept me. And that leads to the very bigly Number Three, which is that no humans are placed with Karnakians. We'd have to do the whole thing on the sly and hope to Jeebus Christ nobody gets wind of it. If the OIH finds out they'll lock me in a room and throw away the room."

She reached over and gently poked a claw into his chest. "[You let me worry about that. Think about the possibilities! You and me, roaming the starways, stealing anything that isn't [nailed down]...and if it is [nailed down] then we [pry up the nails] and steal it anyway.]"

Rory smiled at the thought. "It would be really nice..." He trailed off as she brought her muzzle close to his ear again.

"[And as for the other thing? Well, let's just give it time. Maybe we'll find out that we're even more...compatible with each other than I imagine.]"

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"You keep slouching too much!"

Thing Two stopped her stride and glared at Zara. Such a simple thing as 'walking' now seemed like an impossible task. "Why am I doing this? Am better at sneaking through vents."

Oscar leaned over the nearby display, going through the base's blueprints for what had to be the millionth time. He looked up at the women. "Because the vents in this place have motion sensors. They're hardwired, so we can't disable those until you two can access the control room. Hence your little lesson."

The petite Russian snorted. "Am better at playing janitor, just as Silk has set up for us." Thing Two waved a hand at Zara. "And then she becomes general. Simple! Why you need me?"

Zara let forth a smile that managed to be soothing without patronizing. Thing Two's irritation smoothed over from the the sheer force of that smile.

"Did you ever see a general go anywhere without an aide?" Zara asked. "No matter how good Silk hacks the UN network, if I just show up and start marching around and yelling at everyone all by my lonesome somebody on that base will get suspicious in ten seconds flat."

Thing Two let out a growl that tried to get across the idea that she was really trying, honestly. "This is, how you say, not my bag."

Zara held up her hands. "And I understand that. You've played the role of the beaten-down proletariat, right up until it came time to show them that you weren't so beaten-down, am I right?"

"...maybe," admitted Thing Two. She stared at a nearby wall rather than meet Zara's eyes.

The blonde woman's smile settled into something more familiar, more warm and welcoming. "I understand. I'm sure I have much the same background as you. But you can't just 'walk' as you're used to. We can take care of the facial recognition systems, but the cameras might still be able to identify you by your walk. You need to act like you're supposed to be there, and that anyone who questions you is a fool who needs to be taught a lesson in manners."

Thing Two shifted her eyes towards Zara, and her smoky voice dropped an octave. "I understand. Have to admit, would love to teach such a lesson."

Zara's smile grew wider. "Good. Now, imagine that I'm the one you need to subjugate." She stepped backwards, a good distance away from Thing Two, and spread her arms. "Walk towards me, and this time imagine that the better you perform the more I get punished."

The Slav stood more upright and fixed her gaze upon Zara. This time, as she walked, she imagined a cross-hairs target emblazoned on Zara's forehead. She drew herself up as tall as she could and stared fixedly at her so-called 'teacher' with the beginnings of a sneer on her face.

After a few more practice attempts, Zara pronounced herself satisfied. Thing Two felt good for all of about five minutes, until Valentin came storming into the room. This wasn't his usual get-out-of-my-way storming, this was a good deal more, well, stormy. He jerked his head at Oscar in a silent command to follow him, and proceeded the big Amerikosy as he stormed right back out.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

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Oscar looked down at the printout and felt dread settle in his stomach. "How long ago did they order this stuff?"

"[About two days ago,]" replied the Silken Feather. The two men and the Karnakian were crammed into a space too small for them, but it was the closest thing they had to a secure room. "[The first pieces of equipment will start arriving in about three days.]"

Valentin smoothed his mustache, a tic which betrayed his anxiety. "Is there any chance the Senate has done the same hacking as you?"

The alien shrugged her crest. "[Not that I can detect, but it's certainly possible.]" She peered back over and down at Oscar. "[Do you really think [Martin] is trying to reverse-engineer the Egg itself?]"

"We've got to act as if he is," said Oscar. "Which means we've got to accelerate our timetable."

The Silken Feather started to protest. "[It's tight enough as it is-]"

"If the Senate catches wind of his plan, it's game over. At the very least the Senate will say 'screw it' to all their secrecy and make this a very public diplomatic crisis. Hell, some of the xeno Senators might just up and propose a re-invasion of Earth."

The Karnakian shuddered, making her chest feathers rub against Oscar's scalp. "[They wouldn't dare!]"

"Pointless to argue about if they might, only fact is they can," said Valentin. "If we move faster, we must not tell team true reason. We say that Silk discovered plan to move Egg."

"[You don't trust them?]" asked The Silken Feather. "[Well...I suppose that question is a little silly coming from me.]"

Oscar rolled his shoulders as if getting ready to step into the ring. "Right, I'll break the bad news to the team."

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The team took the news of the shortened timeline with surprising aplomb, although Oscar did have to throw in a bonus payment to sweeten the deal. His transportation was the long pole in the tent, and hence Thing One and the Silken Feather became even more frantic in their work. Finally, it came time to test that vehicle, which turned out to be its own special brand of horribleness.

Oscar felt overwhelming relief as the vehicle's control panel swung up and away from him, revealing the roof of the warehouse. Thing One's face appeared over the edge of the opening, peering in with clinical detachment.

"Good. You are not dead."

He unlatched the oxygen mask from his face and sat up, climbing out of the tube-like contraption. "Thanks for the concern there, friendo."

"How is ride?"

"Slower than we planned for, and very sweaty."

Thing One planted her hands on her hips and looked down at her handiwork. "Sweaty you will just have to deal with. But slower...hmm, maybe I can tune the power output to put more into the front end. But then we'd have to get bigger cables, I don't know where we'd fit them..."

Oscar waved off the notion. "It is what it is, and we'll just have to build some extra transit time into the plan. We can't afford the time to fine-tune it."

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Valentin settled the transparent collar around his neck, where it lay unobtrusively against his shirt. Rory donned his as well as he grinned at the fidgeting Karnakian. "Showtime, eh?"

"[Just please be careful,]" said The Silken Feather.

"Tch, no big deal," said Valentin. He slapped Rory on the back. "I will take good care of him, da?" With that, the Russian reached up and tapped the collar. Rory stared in amazement, even though to Valentin nothing seemed changed.

"Huh...this might just work after all," said Rory. He repeated Valentin's tap on his own collar, and with a split-second blur his familiar shaggy features became replaced with a stranger's.

The Silken Feather told them previously that the hard-light hologram should be proof against pretty much any visual inspection, but that if anybody touched their face the toucher would feel something that was clearly not skin.

The two disguised men trouped out to a pair of battered vans parked just inside one of the warehouse's roll-up doors. One of them was red with closed doors, and Valentin headed for that one. Rory headed for the other, which was white and had its rear door open. Oscar sat inside the back on top of his transportation, his tanned face set in a grin. "Ready when you are, gents."

Valentin only shook his head in reply. "Showboating Amerikosy." He hauled himself into the driver's seat of his van and started the engine.

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What with Chaudhari's expansion of their plans, Martin decided to hell with it and just stayed at the base rather than try commuting back and forth from DC. He'd found an unused dorm room next to the secure facility, an unused desk in the facility itself, and spent his days breathing down everyone's neck and generally making a pain in the ass of himself.

So it was with trepidation that the aide approached him that morning. Martin sat slouched over his desk, muttering about stupid paperwork and drinking from an extra-tall paper cup filled with coffee.

"Um, sir? Sorry for interrupting."

Martin shrugged without looking up. "Hey, I don't mind getting interrupted when I'm doing this nonsense. What is it?"

"We just got a ping from the facial recognition system. It detected one of those faces you gave us, on one of the town's security cameras."

Martin jumped to his feet. "Show me."

Within a minute they were inside the facility's security center. Martin walked up to the person manning the console, trying to remember his name. Curtis? Christian? Something like that. "What did you see?"

The subject of his question looked pale. "It was just a glimpse, sir. We were accessing the town's security cameras, just like you asked." He tapped keys as he talked, and called up a black-and-white image of a street next to a small park.

Christian pointed at a van that rolled into view. "He parks here and gets out..." As the man on the screen alighted from his vehicle, a brief network of lines crossed his features as the VI did its computery best to match the face to any in record. "He didn't trip the software at first." The man from the van moved in a stuttering, jerky motion as Christian went frame-by-frame through the next few moments.

"There, when he turns to look to see if any cars are coming..." Christian zoomed in on the man's face, still overlaid with that network of lines which represented the idiot-savant VI's continued attempts to match his face. "There!"

For one brief moment, the face shifted into somebody with much darker hair and a prominent mustache. The VI-overlaid network glowed bright with a match, followed by a name printed out on top of the screen.

"Maksimov Valentin Ivanovich," said Christian with satisfaction. Then, with much less certainty, he added "Um, what did he do? And where did he get hold of a hard-light hologram like that?"

"Shut up, I'm thinking," snapped Martin. He paced as he considered the situation. Was this a trick, or a simple glitch in Maksimov's disguise? "Can you backtrack that van to its original location?"

"No joy there, sorry. The cameras only extend to the edge of town, our boy drove directly from there to this spot."

"Where is he now?"

Christian rolled over to another screen. "Looks like he's waiting for someone. He's just sitting on a park bench."

Martin growled. This might be a feint to draw his attention. If this was his chance to take down Oscar and Valentin, he had to grab it. Besides, if this was a feint after all then if he 'pretended' to fall for it Oscar would make his move. Either way Martin could draw the bastard out.

He'd have to use his own goons, of course. Most of the facility's staff remained ignorant of what was in the basement lab, and Martin wanted to keep it that way. Now that he had a plan of action, he relaxed. "All right. How far back in time does the town's camera system extend?"

"About forty-eight hours," replied Christian.

"Good. Set the VI to see if that van crops up anywhere else." Martin rounded on the aide. "And you. I'll be off-base for a bit with some of my personal staff. The facility will be on high alert while I'm gone. If a mouse so much as farts in here you contact me, understand?"

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Zara and Thing Two walked into the supply room on the heels of Norman, the 'head janitor' in charge of getting them set up. He was an older guy with iron-gray hair and a serious beer-gut, and wore the same shapeless dark-blue coverall as the two disguised thieves. "All right ladies, this is where the magic happens. Cleanser is on the shelves over there, the faucet and hose is over here along with the buckets. I recommend hot water, it tends to make the cleanser smell stronger and the higher muckity-mucks won't climb up our butt so much about not cleaning enough. Lemme know if you need anything."

He turned and pointed at the badge clipped to Zara's lapel. "Your badge will let you into anyplace you should be. If you come to a door and it doesn't open, you don't belong in there. Likewise if you're following somebody through a door you might see a red flash from the sensor. If you see that, back up toot sweet or you'll have a squad of MPs on you before you can so much as break wind."

"Sounds ominous," said Zara. "What, do they have the Ark of the Covenant stashed somewhere in here?"

Norman replied with a shit-eating grin and a shrug. "Not my place to ask. We just mop the floors."

A soft and synthetic voice sounded from above the trio. "Attention, this facility is now on high alert. All non-essential personnel are required to remain in place until notified that the alert is ceased. Please remain calm."

Norman threw his head back and let out a phlgem-laden grumble. "Aw, fuck."

Thing Two looked scared, and Zara was pleased to see that she managed to really make it work. "Are we under attack?"

Their minder settled a big hand on Thing Two's shoulder. "Nah, this happens about once a week. Some bird probably set off a sensor or somethin'. We just gotta wait here until they give the all-clear. I'm guessing about half an hour."

The petite woman placed her hand on top of his in a surprisingly intimate gesture. "Really? Thanks, I just get kind of nervous around alarms."

Norman's face creased into something more of a leer than a grin. "Don't worry, I'm here to protect you." The two of them kept smiling at each other, right up until the point that his eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed.

Zara caught him as he toppled, easing his bulk down to the floor so that he wouldn't crack his head on the cement. "Sounds like he was getting ready to proposition you."

"Da. Or at least ask for my number." With her other hand, Thing Two pulled a latex glove out of her pocket and managed to don it one-handed. Moving with great caution, she reached over and plucked off a small square of clear plastic from the center of the palm that had just been in contact with Norman's hand. Then she stripped off the glove with the square in its middle. Only then did she relax, now that she was safe from its topical anesthetic.

Meanwhile Zara checked Norman's pulse. "Good, sleeping like a baby. It sounds like Valentin's peek-a-boo act worked as planned." She stood and unzipped her coverall, then shucked her way out of it in a move that was unconsciously seductive. Of course, that seductiveness was reduced since underneath she was wearing a blinged-out UN dress uniform instead of a bikini.

Thing Two followed suit, revealing a not-quite-so-blinged-out uniform which matched well with her intended role. As with Zara, she had a white plastic badge dangling from her lapel which would admit her to everywhere in the lab...provided that The Silken Feather had accomplished her work, of course.

The two women spent a few precious minutes to check each other's medals and insignia before squaring their shoulders and heading out the door to start the next phase of the job.