51) Fun and games

My pizza, by the time I finally got to it, was room temperature at best, as well as being dried up, and even slightly burnt.

It still tasted pretty good, the coyotes thought so as well after I took my two slices and tore, or at least snapped, off bits of the rest of it. Then I watched my furry minions tear up the old carpeting in the living room as I tossed the bits for them to either catch in the air or chase after.

At least I watched Blue, Chubby, and surprisingly Acey, who would bring back the few pieces she managed to get to before the pups did to feed to Wylina who would gently take the chuck of pizza from the green girl's hands. The bits I handed off to her to choke down while I made a game of feeding the others meant she got more than her share just by waiting patiently.

The Dryad simply helped herself to a fist full of cold hot dogs from the fridge afterwards while smiling through a mouth almost overfilled with processed meat as I watched her show off the advantages of having thumbs.

I had filled up after my two slices with the salad I had started chopping up hours before and then finished cleaning up when I heard Hiram pull up in his sports car.

For once I was getting to go somewhere without a pack of furry minions as Wylina took one look into the so called back seat of the Grinning man’s little read coup and made it clear to her two pups that since she wasn’t going with me, they weren’t either.

Chubby immediately began looking for something else to keep him busy while Blue whined, but Mother Coyote was still in charge.

Slipping into the passenger side I ignored whatever the Sabatour was bragging about with his car, “I need to stop at the bank to get some cash if I’m going to need it.” Then I strapped in.

I’m glad I still did that by habit since Hiram was a terrible driver.

“Can you believe they took my license away? My eyes work just fine now, but I figured it would be easier to go and buy a new car after the cops seize this one than to try to convince the courts to let an old man drive legally again. Besides, who is going to lock up someone who already closed one dungeon when they’re going to need me to do it again.”

I grunted as I braced myself with one hand on the dashboard and the other on the armrest. “The cops. Any judge. They’ll just let you out on day twenty four, right before they need you.”

For a moment, Hiram looked thoughtful, then kept driving like a madman. “Cops got more important things to do right now than chase down traffic violators in this part of town. Might as well enjoy driving this car the way it was meant to be driven while I can.”

I can see why he got Fear Essence as his power… but then, why did I get Life?

“Answer me.” Hiram shot me a confused look, then he saw the gray box that appeared before me.

[ You have an affinity for improving the well being of others. Even if you seldom choose to use it ]

I grunted again. “So that leaves me with one more question then?”

[ I can not fully quantify how much more I can help you at this time ]

Speaking out loud proved to be a mistake as Hiram took that as permission to start yapping at me again, but the way he drove took both hands which left me in control of the radio.

I don’t know what XM is, but the readout listed music by the decade, and the 50’s station was playing Doo Wop. It had been a long time since I had heard that kind of music playing on the radio.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Of course, I hated it Doo Wop, but it was at least novel and drowned out whatever Hiram was trying to yell about as I tuned it up.

At the Elysian, Sam Saunder was looking a lot more awake, and alert as he let me and the Grinning man into his apartment.

I had been expecting some sort of hospital room. A bed that was more like a gurney with a bathroom off to one side, and a bare nod to some dressers for the inmate's personal stuff.

Instead, it looked like a typical apartment. Sam nodded at me as I looked around before turning to walk down a hallway in a slow shuffle, heading right past a walker with wheels on the front two legs shoved off to one side as Hiram kept up a steady patter.

“This used to be a regular apartment building, but the Elysian company buys up places like this and then turns them into old folks' homes. There are even a few people who just stayed on from when they lived here anyways since they were old enough to want a laundry service and a cafeteria.”

The apartment also came with two bedrooms, the larger of which was now Sam’s armory. “I got your Ithica, the same one you used before. Or I can upgrade you to a twelve gauge, since you’re getting it enchanted, you should be able to handle it.”

I mulled that over, realized I had no clue, and decided I was better off being honest and trusting the old coot rather than end up with something that was a bad choice for me, without having any idea why.

“Sam. Point and shoot is about all I know. Clue me in?”

He gave me a smile and a low laugh. “The smaller shotgun is good for killing the bats you’re going after and did just fine against the Lashers. But the bigger shotgun would work too, it’s just that shooting it will leave your shoulder bruised up worse than the smaller gun, and will tire you out faster even just carrying it around.”

Laying out a few more guns he began giving me way too much information about them, but what it seemed to boil down to was that the gun I had used last time was great for now, but if I needed something heavier later on I would have to pay, both in cash and magic Stones cut out of monsters, twice to upgrade the gun I might need later.

“Can other people use a gun you magic up for me?”

The Armsman nodded. “If I could make them so only one person could shoot them, it would be a good selling point. But I can’t, at least not yet.” He got that blank look on his face again, this time I think more because he was thinking deeply about something rather than having a ‘Senior moment’”

In the end, I took the gun I knew and passed him a wad of cash in return for some papers he printed out from a computer he had set up in the corner. He signed my copy and pointed out the date on one spot. “Don’t show it off to anyone until this date, you’ll get both of us, and worst yet my son, in trouble.”

Then I gave him three Stones.

Setting one on top of my shotgun, he laid his hand on top of it and closed his eyes as the orange colored chuck of uncut crystal began to slowly glow with a blueish white light before it vanished from beneath his palm and the blue light flashed out to in a shimmer that coated the entire gun.

Then he did it two more times, leaving the gun somehow… heavier looking.

As he picked it up and handed it off to me, I found out that if anything it felt lighter, and settled into my hand more naturally. Not like I somehow knew what I was doing with a gun so much as the weight and balance of it just felt more natural.

He smiled a little as I fiddled with it. “The first enchantment does something to the ammo that lets it do more damage to dungeon creatures. Not like it hits harder or anything, it's more like the monsters are somehow less tough against it.” He shrugged. “It’s more like shooting a melon and watching bits go flying than shooting a tin can and just putting a hole in it.”

I gave him a side eyed glance. “That’s a bit… visual.”

He shrugged. “The second enchantment sort of makes the gun stay in your hands better. You’re less likely to drop it, and even when you shoot, it kicks less.”

Walking over to his closet he unlocked a metal cabinet and began pilling up boxes on the table. “Six boxes of the highest grade of birdshot I could get, which should kill the bat things and have a pretty good spread to catch them on the wing. And four boxes of regular buckshot in case the birdshot won’t do the job. Twenty five shells a box, and if you need the buckshot, use it to get out of the place and come get more buckshot.”

As the old man finished talking, I heard the sound of a bell, and he nodded at Hiram. “Dinner time.”

And since Hiram had already paid in advance for all his meals, he wasn’t taking me back home until he ate, and I couldn’t come up with an excuse to go do something other than sit with the two of them since I didn’t have a way of getting back home until they were done eating.

As I sat at the table after refusing to buy a plate of mass produced meatloaf, which actually looked pretty good, limp asparagus, and off colored mac and cheese, Brad sat down with us.

He didn’t have a plate with him either, but instead, he had a folder full of paperwork, and a pen.

I began to think I had been set up.

Then Captain Ebler, wearing blue jeans and a polo shirt joined us, and I knew for sure that I had been set up.