Once I finally came to, I was hit by the smell of fresh tea and lovely perfume. I opened my eyes and winced at the sight of the sun light coming in through the thin blinds on my right. Where in the hell am I? Well, I guess I can’t completely lie to myself (or to you the reader); I do, in fact, know where I am. I’m in another world! After all of my wishing and praying, of course life would throw me into this situation without an ounce of notice beforehand.
I lifted my head up slightly to examine what kind of environment I was in. From what I could determine, I was in some kind of bedroom. And it was an enormous bedroom, if I may add. I was laying on a very comfortable bed, covered by mounds and mounds of sheets. Definitely too many sheets for what seemed like summer time seeping in through the East-side window. There was a small table to my left and, resting on it, an even smaller cup of tea, steam rising from within the cup.
I had now successfully pinpointed the origin of the smell of fresh tea, but what about that lovely perfume I had sniffed as well. I examined the room one more time and there, sitting at the left of the bed, right by my feet, was a beautiful woman. Possibly one of the most beautiful women I’d had ever seen in my entire new life. But what the hell am I supposed to say to her though? There she is, the prettiest girl of all time, just calmly reading a book while sipping on a cup of tea, and here I am: a subpar (at best) mess of a human being who just silently let out a fart under this mass of sheets.
Okay man, just try to say something, come on! Your paranoia’s coming back again! Just say “Hi”. That’s all. Alright here I go: “Buuuurp!” Oh God. What was that? Was that me? Please tell me she didn’t hear that! Holy crap!
I try not to look at her so as not to get her attention, but I know for a fact that she put down her book and looked my way with a slight gasp (which was honestly very cute), but I didn’t want to get her attention with that.
Step. Step. Step. I could hear her footsteps getting closer to me. These sounded powerful, but at the same time very fragile, like they could easily curb stomp you, but at the same time she would get hurt (are you picking up what I’m saying, reader?).
And finally, she was right next to me. My heart couldn’t stop beating fast. She knelt down next to the bed, and suddenly I could feel her warm breath on my cheek, still impregnated with the warm and comforting smell of leaf tea.
She then came closer, and put her mouth right up to my ear. “Are you hungry?” she whispered softly. “I can get you something to eat if you want.” I then proceeded to nod hesitantly, and stupidly answer with: “YeAh, I GUesS I cOUld Go fOR SOmE!” Am I really this bad at talking to girls!? I didn’t have this much trouble when I was speaking to God, but God was not giving off this sensual vibe, unlike this girl.
The girl then slowly got up and exited the large room. While she was walking away, I could see her long brown hair swaying sideways along the back of her exquisite black and red dress (which looked like an outfit that came straight from the Royal Family). Right below her swaying hair was a swaying tail. Well, it’s honestly not that surprising considering I’m in another world. And jutting from each side of her head were two pointy elf-like ears (I’m sure those had a powerful range).
The girl came back a few minutes later with a tray of food in her hands. I had already sat up in the bed, ready to dig in to whatever this world had to offer. Of course, I didn’t really want to, but if I’m going to be here for awhile, might as well enjoy some things.
I tried to avoid making eye contact with her as much as possible, but that in itself was almost impossible; my eyes couldn’t help but come back to her deep blue eyes. This girl was extremely pale though in all honesty, but that contrast worked well with her blue eyes (you could even say that they matched in a sense).
With a final glance before she arrived next to me, she gave me one of the brightest smiles and then placed the tray in front of me. Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect when she said food, but this… this wasn’t food in the slightest.
It was a grotesque mix of uncooked fish and grilled bugs garnished with a few bits of vegetables that I had never even seen before.
“Looks good,” I said reluctantly, wishing I could be back at my house, eating some meatloaf. “I can’t wait to dig into this mean… fish?” I looked for her for approval of the correct term, but she just sat next to me and gave me the cutest smile again.
So, I then grabbed what looked like a fork on the tray and snapped off a piece of fish. I brought it up to my mouth. Sweat started to drip from my forehead. I opened my mouth, and took the bite.
The taste is something that people (probably you, the reader) would describe as indescribable. The taste wasn’t bad, per se. However, it also wasn’t good, far from it.
I think the girl saw how much trouble I had with eating the first bite, she must’ve thought I was injured or something, because she came up on the bed and sat next to me. She took the tray away from me, as well as the fork. She then took a piece of the fish, a small bug, and a piece of what looked like a vegetable and brought it closer to my mouth. “Watch out! The Hume and Carriage are coming! Open your mouth!” she exclaimed happily, as if I was a 3-year-old. But, how could I not obey such a pretty lady? So, as she so happily exclaimed, I opened my mouth and awaited the arrival of the carriage and the… Hume? What’s a Hume? I wanted to ask her that question, but the food she was bringing up to me was already in my mouth accompanied by the wooden fork.
I chewed slowly, trying to keep it inside my mouth without puking it all up over her nice dress. “Do you like it?” she questioned me. How the hell am I supposed to respond to that? If she’s the one who cooked this, her cooking is god awful, but of course I can’t say that to her, that would just hurt her feelings and probably make her cry. Well, all of that’s assuming people in this new world are capable of emotions and crying.
I turned towards her, my mouth still full of food, “Yes, it’s uh… quite delicious, the best food I’ve ever ha- Cough! Cough! Cough!” Oh God! A little insect leg just went to the back of my throat while I was talking and now, I’m choking. I can just imagine; I must be doing the ugliest face ever.
“Oh no! Oh no!” the girl began to scream. She took off the black glove which was covering her right hand. “I’m sorry I’m going to have to do this to you! I swear, it’ll only hurt for a second. She backed up a bit, pointed her hand towards my chest, and then a sudden flash of light exploded from her hand.
That light then came rushing towards me. I can’t think about anything. Am I supposed to move or not? The only thing that I can do now is just trust this beautiful maiden and hope that I don’t die… again.
A slight pinch, and then nothing. I opened my eyes prepared for the worst, but it seemed as though everything around me was alright and still in its place. I patted my chest to see if anything had happened, and as I thought, nothing had changed. I looked up in surprise. There was the girl, putting the glove back on her delicate hand, one finger at a time.
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
“Hopefully it didn’t hurt you too much, did it?” she began. “I tried my best not to miss this time around, and I think I finally have the hang of it.” She seemed happy and relieved after she’d said that. “So,” the young lady carried on, “Shall I feed you some more, sire?”
My hands became clammy for a second, and I shook my head. “No,” I answered her, “The food was great… really, but I am beginning to feel kind of full after those few bites, so I think it’s probably enough for now. Thanks.” I tried to end that sentence with a smile, trying to push down the fish from coming back up.
She then nodded, took the tray away from me and brought it outside of the room. When she came back, she sat on her chair and began sipping her tea again. She was just about to pick up her book again when I asked her: “Where am I?”
She seemed surprised: “How could you even think about asking such a question?” she said. “This is the great Kingdom of Alrizia. The greatest kingdom of the northern region of Greschia to have ever existed. Hasn’t God told you any of this before your arrival here?” I shook my head once again, since talking doesn’t seem to do me much good. “I suppose I could see her not telling you much, given how lazy she is. You know I thought me and her were friends, but she barely even comes to visit me anymore, and I just… I just don’t know how to feel about that. What do you think?” She looked deeply into my eyes trying to find an answer, but how the hell was I supposed to answer her? The whole subject has changed drastically fast.
“Honestly,” I started, trying to fumble some sort of answer, “maybe you should try calling her once in a while. Maybe she feels sad about you not calling or visiting as well?”
“Perhaps the words you speak are the truth, but what is calling?” Oh man! I completely forgot that they probably don’t have the same type of technology that we do in our world.
“Oh, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. It was just something that we did in my old world.” She seemed to accept my answer, and brushed it off.
“But, going back to what we were talking about before. Where am I exactly in the kingdom of Alrisia? Whose house is this?” I asked, hoping to find a concrete answer.
“This is the great house of King Fiddler III.” She said so enthusiastically, as I tried to hide my slight snort.
“So, this isn’t your house then, right?” I questioned.
“No. I am simply a maid of the household hoping to finally be able to get out of this place and one day, go on an adventure. However, once you got here, you were supposed to have a discussion with the king about your current mission, but it seems as though, with all of your sleeping, the King has grown slightly tired of waiting, so you better be ready soon,” she said getting up from her chair. “So, I’ll leave you to it then. Oh! And there’s a pile of fresh clothes in the box at the foot of the bed,” she explained as she was walking out.
I slowly crawled out of the bed, only to realise that I was… completely naked? What the hell? Why? How? Who? When? Where?
“Why am I naked!” I tried yelling at the girl, but all I heard was a little laugh that fainted to nothing into the hallways outside of the door.
I sighed, and tiptoed my way to the small wooden box that was simply placed at the foot of the bed. I reached inside and grabbed what seemed like a beige shirt and a pair of dark green pants. I quickly slipped all of it on and reached the room door.
I peered outside to see if anyone was waiting for me there with a massive, blunt weapon. I mean, you never truly know what could happen. We all thought Rem was nice and look how that turned out. Well, I mean, I stopped watching Re:Zero during that second arc because I got too scared. But, I mean, she couldn’t have gotten nice again, right?
But there didn’t seem to be anything too troubling waiting for me. So, with the most courage I could gather at a moment such as this, I took one step outside, and then another, and then another; all the while, closely examining the magnificently woven rugs of the possibly trapped floors, and the painting strewn walls (that could also possibly be trapped) of this long and twisting hallway.
There were chandeliers hanging, what seemed to be, every meter, from the ceiling of the hallway. What if they were traps? What if a sensor went off and then one of them fell on me? I have to get out of this place as soon as possible, I really do.
And finally, after what seemed like hours of walking (possibly because I was walking slowly, paying attention to everything around me), I could perceive a light from an entryway at the end of the hallway.
I passed through the last few doors to my side, and penetrated into what looked like a throne room. Oh good! More of this bullshit that we’ve all seen a million times over. What? Am I going to be the special “Chosen One” or something? Honestly it was more like I got randomly chosen to come here more than anything, so I’m not really sure why I’d be the “Chosen One” for this mission. Okay, enough rambling for now though.
At the far end (of what I could still only guess is the throne room) sat a very frail and old looking man. And he was, indeed, sitting on a golden throne. He was bald and wore an extremely long and wrinkled purple gown. I couldn’t exactly tell what kind of expression was on his face as I was walking into the room, because his long and bushy eyebrows covered his eyes, and they were almost long enough to be his beard too.
He lifted up his shaking hand, and pointed his index in my direction.
Hmm. I guess he could see me even with those long-ass eyebrows then.
“You! Young boy! Come closer!” the frail old man spoke.
I turned around a few times in confusion and pointed to myself. “Are you talking to me? Or are you talking to your two guards over there,” I said this as I pointed to the two bulky men guarding the front door of the throne room.
He didn’t say anything back to me.
He then slowly began to stand up from the seat on which he sat with his ancient butt. Man, that thing must stink by now.
He was still as silent, and by the time he had completely stood up (with the help of his cane) he stopped moving completely. Was he dead?
I looked back at the guards, “Hey guys! I think the old guy might need some help!”
They were unfazed. They stood there, completely silent as well.
I began making my way toward the old man, when suddenly out of nowhere, the whole room went dark.
What the hell? Did someone just blow out all the candles or something?
And then, what happened next, will stay with me for the rest of my life (or will it?).
One single spotlight shone down on the old geezer. From where you ask? I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t even know spotlights existed in this world first of all.
The old man raised his head slowly, very slowly. Is he going to breakdown into a song? Cause it really seems like that’s about to happen right now.
He then followed his slow head rise by striking a pose (I could almost see the menacing spinning around him).
His chin flipped up in the air, one hand on his hip, the other pointing at me, and his legs in just an unbelievably indescribable position; I didn’t think he could be that flexible, honestly.
“You, my son,” Oh! Finally, some words from him. “You are the chosen one!”
“…….”
Noooooooooooo!
I knew this shit was going to happen, it was only natural with all of this setup.
“You see, boy, in these lands there’s a prophecy: that the one who is sent here by the gods has been chosen to bring the lands back to a sense of peace and humility. For now, times have been nothing but tough. The kingdoms to the east have been desecrating these lands for many a year now. So, wit…”
“Yeah, yeah! I get it,” I said, turning my back to him. “But if it’s gonna take you forever to explain what’s going on, I’m just gonna have to ask someone else.”
The candles turned back on, as if there was a light switch controlling them, and blocking the way in front of me, were the two big and bulky guards who were protecting the entrance beforehand.
“And where do you think you’re going exactly?!” A booming voice cried out from behind me. But that couldn’t be the old guy’s voice, right?
I turned back, and was surprised by what I saw. The old man had grown a full head of hair, had grown 4 extra feet, had gained some muscle mass (enough to rip through his purple gown), and his long beard/eyebrows had become a simple mustache.
“You’re going to listen to my little speech,” he yelled as he picked up an axe standing next to his throne. “Or we could make God send another one of you, little rats. That’s not a problem at all,” He seemed to peer deep into my soul, I was utterly speechless. “And believe me, I’m not scared of a little mess.”