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Chapter 1: I Hate Isekais

I’ve always been paranoid. Just in general. With life, with love, with school, with friends, with everything honestly. However, there is one thing that’s been keeping me up at night for these past few years, and I know that once I’ll say it out loud, you, the reader, will surely laugh at me. So, this thing that’s been keeping me wide-eyed is what is known as an Isekai. The word Isekai is a Japanese term to define “another world.” But it has been used most recently as a conduit to write compelling stories of friendships, hardships, and adventures through the forms of light novels, manga, and anime.

          You must be asking yourself, why would I be so freaked out about something that happens on a screen or on the page of a book. Well, the answer is quite simple actually: Who says it can’t happen in real life? Yes, I’m serious. What if one day I got hit by a truck and woke up in an alternate dimension, or another world, with an special ability and a group of beautiful girls following me wherever I go, accompanied by one guy that we don’t really talk about, but is still part of the crew, and who might be attracted to me? Right? Who says that can’t happen? Who says that I’m not going to be called upon by the forces of another world to go and defeat the evilest of evils? That’s the type of stuff that I don’t want to happen to me. That’s the type stuff that I’m paranoid about.

          You know all of those millions of people who have car accidents every year? No one can truly know what happens after that; perhaps they cross into another world. I just want to stay in my comfortable house in my comfortable room with my not too intrusive parents who love me moderately. Who wouldn’t want to live a life like that?

          Well, I think that’s probably enough existential talk for now, don’t you think? Maybe I am just over thinking things, but I can’t help but worry.

Anyway, it’s probably time to flush this thing out. I get up from my “throne” and pull on the handle of the ivory white latrine filled to the brim in front of me, hopefully it will all pass. I glance at the red plunger next to me, hoping that the privy won’t need it. “Come on! Pull through! You can do it! Don’t give up!”, I yell at the toilet with enthusiasm.

          The moment of truth is rearing its head, I can smell it. Or maybe that’s just the smell coming from the toilet. Three, two, one. I glance one last time at the formidable plunger, and back to the white bowl, and… “It’s gone! Yeah!”, I screamed out, accompanied by a little jump for joy.

          I attempt to kick the plunger over, but that didn’t really go as planned, when my foot made contact with the handle of the plunger, I heard something crack, and then I proceeded to fall on the floor, squirming in pain.

          Bang! Bang! Oh, those were knocks on the door. “What the hell are you doing in there, big brother? You’ve been in there for like an hour! It’s my turn, get out!” I decide to obey those commands (which I do pretty often do avoid any unnecessary risks, ladies 😉). I unlock the door and open it only to see my little sister on the other side, her arms crossed and her disappointed stare stabbing me right in the heart. I can’t help but smile back.

          “There you go, it’s all yours,” I say to her with a slight grin. “It’s about time. Humph! And wipe that smile off your face.” “What ever could you be talking about, oh lovely sister of mine.” “God, don’t ever talk to me again, you creep!” She said as she slammed the bathroom door in my face. My smile just will not disappear for some reason.

          I decide to head downstairs and go to my room to cool off after that round of pure, but wonderful abuse. I lay on my bed and close my eyes, thinking of what my parents could possibly be making for dinner tonight: meatloaf or loafed meat. Yes, they are two different things. And also, yes, they are both disgusting. Okay, so next question! Yes, you in the back with the round glasses and brown hair. What’s my name? Oh my God! That is so true, I barely introduced myself yet (imagine me slightly sticking out my tongue and slapping my forehead), silly me.

          My name is Ryu Goshoyama, the Kanjis in my name meaning “The Dragon of the Imperial Palace Mountain” (just a little fact for all of you out there wondering) and I’m a 17-year-old male high-school student. There’s not much else to say really, except for the whole paranoia thing, but you already know about that.

          I get up from my bed and walk over to my desk. There, hanging on the wall in front of my workspace is a small mirror. My brown hair is slightly messed up, so I start playing with it to put it back in its rightful place! After that I start looking down at my facial features, which, to be honest, are nothing if not average or slightly above, like two millimeters above at best.

          So, what’s so special about me, exactly? That’s probably what you’re asking yourself, right? Why write a whole book (or maybe even a series 😉) based on a character as dull and boring as me? Well, you might actually be asking yourself this question a bit too early my friend, is it okay if I call you my friend? I think we’re close enough for that now, right? But you didn’t even finish the first chapter my friend, so let’s calm down a bit. You’re about to discover exactly the reason behind all of your questions in but a few moments.

          So, as I was gazing longingly into my subpar mug, my mom was yelling for me to come upstairs so, of course, I obeyed. I marched, double stepped, up the stairs.

          There, on the couch of our living room, was my sister who had just finished her shower, her slightly paler hair was still slightly wet, and she had a towel wrapped around her shoulders. She was wearing her favorite pajamas: a shirt with the design of a little cat on it which said “Hang in There!” in bold letters, and she had her favorite shorts on.

          She turned her face away from the TV (which, at the time, was playing one of the most popular romance dramas: “I Will Love You, Always”) towards me, swiftly, and gave me sight of her “disgusted” face. “What the hell are you looking at creep?” she questioned me. “Oh, nothing, really. Just enjoying the show.” I replied quickly, maybe a bit too quickly.  “Disgusting sister-complex-pervert!” she retorqued, spit flying out of her mouth, and then turned her attention back towards the TV.

          I then turned to face my mom, who was cooking in the kitchen.

          “So, what did you need mom?” I inquired. She looked away from her chopping board for a few seconds. “Oh, it’s not much, it’s just that we ran out of onions and potatoes for the meatloaf tonight.” Of course, I knew it, meatloaf tonight. “Honey, could you run out really quick and go get your frail old mother some onions and potatoes at the super-market?”

          I froze. What could I say? I mean, she does know how I feel about going outside and running the risk of getting Isekaid. God I’m so scared of it, I don’t even want to say its name anymore.

          “Now, honey, I know you don’t like going outside because of your anime or something, but at least this once you could help your mother, right?”

          “Well, couldn’t you have at least asked Yui first?”, I asked desperately, while turning to point at my younger sister, but like a magic trick, she was gone from the couch, out of sight. I turned back and looked at my mom, she was staring back at me, it was almost like a scene from that drama on TV. “Fine,” I said grudgingly, “just this once, but after that I’m never going outside again, well except for school, once that starts again.”  

          But you see, dear reader, the thing with me, is that I’m paranoid, but I also have trouble disobeying people or saying “no” to people, and sometimes, these two aspects clash, resulting in funny, but sometimes awkward, situations. Do you see where I’m getting at with this explanation. Oh, I’m sure you do, looking at how smart you are. Just between you and me though, maybe this is a bit of foreshadowing for events to come later. But you didn’t hear it from me, okay?

          I snaked my way to the door just a few feet away, put on my red and green coat (my favorite coat by the way). I then put on my red beanie and green gloves. You see, I’m a matcher. I like matching colors; you then run less risk of being made fun of for not having matching colors.

          And then, I proceeded to envelop my whole body with reflective tape, so I’m sure that every driver and walker is going to be able to see me clearly while I’m walking the dark streets, without any issues whatsoever.

          Click. The sound of the front door unlocking sent shivers down my spine, like all of those other times I heard it. I opened it slowly. A slight breeze coming from the outside came in and enveloped the living room in a slight chill. “God, I can’t do this,” I say as I close the door. “You got this honey, don’t give up on your mother now when you’re so close!” I hear my mom cheering me on from the pantry.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

          Okay, now that I’ve built up my confidence once more, I reopen the door to be greeted by that same chill from the outside. I decide to take one step out, and then another, and then another. This wasn’t too bad actually. The temperature was still chilly but not chilly enough to give you frostbite, and the roads had been recently cleaned from the piles of snow that were covering it. All in all, not a huge chance of dying of coldness or from slipping down.

          As I waddled my way to the super-market, my hands in my pockets, I was surprised at the fact that there wasn’t a single a car in view. Not a single one. I did see this old man walking his dog though. Oh, and how can I forget the lovey-dovey couple in the alleyway. They were maybe a bit too lovey-dovey though, but I didn’t interfere in their affairs, I just kept on my way to the store.

          Finally, after a few more minutes of walking, I finally made it to “Rin’s Super-Market”. There weren’t even any cars in the parking lot in front of the store. This was truly my lucky day.

          I went inside, picked up a bag of the freshest potatoes I could find at six in the afternoon, and then picked up a bag of the biggest onions, brought them to the cash register, gave the cute blonde girl behind the counter a 20 dollar bill, and she gave me back 10 dollars and a few cents in change, with her long slender fingers. She gave a me the bag with all of my stuff in it, and then gave me a slight smile as a goodbye.

          I exited the store and began to look around immediately for any signs of a car or truck approaching my vicinity, but still no sign. I appreciate that God, thank you.

          I started making my way back towards my wonderfully comfortable house. But I think the excitement of going back to my safe place started to get to me, because, for some reason I began walking faster, and if only I hadn’t started to walk faster maybe the following incident wouldn’t have happened. Yes, the exact incident that you’re thinking about. I got transported to another world.

          I was at the final crosswalk before the street where my house is, and the silence was frightening. Everything at that time was, almost, too quiet. And then out of nowhere, a truck, a bright red truck, came barreling down towards me, from my right.

          How could this have happened? I knew I was too lucky not having seen a single car up until now. But I’m wearing my brightest clothes, plus a layer of reflective tape. Can the driver still not see me? Even with all of this on?

Well, I guess my life was an okay one. I’ve already accepted the fact that I’m not going to be able to get out of this one alive. I’ve lived my life in constant fear of most things. But let me able to live my afterlife in peace and please, oh please Lord, I’m begging you, please don’t let me be transported to another world, that’s all I ask for. Oh yeah, and please take care of my mom and my little sister for me. I Know that Yui might seem pretty annoying at first, but she’s a good kid who’s just having a little bit of trouble getting used to the world of grown-ups. So, that’s all. Those are my only requests. Do I regret living my life like I did? Perhaps. But it’s a bit to late too change it now, right? But all I ask is, please, for the love of everything sacred in this world, don’t transport me to another world.

And then, nothing. Just darkness. An endless void of black. It was as though the safest environment I could have ever imagined surrounded my “life” at the moment death. But then, suddenly, colors started popping up, then objects. There were signs pointing in different directions everywhere. However, there was one thing that definitely did catch my eye, and that was the huge line of people waiting to go somewhere. Did I know where? Of course, I didn’t. I couldn’t read what any of the signs said, all of them were in a completely different language.

And then, I found myself being pushed by a huge crowd of people behind me and suddenly I was part of the line myself. This line stretched on for what seemed like miles on end, and we were only moving about 1 step every two minutes, so this was going to take awhile.

***

          Three months had now passed, and there I was, still stuck in this damn lineup. I heard from some of the conversations around me that this was the “Choosing Trial”. A very cool name for what is simply one person deciding whether you’re going to Heaven or Hell. Well, now I know at least that Heaven and Hell are real, or at least a certain version of it.

          Fine, I guess I’ll be stuck in this line for another while, since the end does not seem any closer to me than before.

***

          Six more months have now passed. God how much longer are they going to make us wait in this damn line. Well, I’m not really complaining though, because, honestly, I don’t have anything else to do right now, and this is quite the safe environment too, and I’m already dead, so that in fact removes most dangers.

          And also, because I’m dead, I don’t feel anything: hunger, fatigue, the need to relieve myself, boredom, nothing at all. It’s quite appeasing in many ways.

          And since I’m already here, I’ll give all of you a little update: I can finally see the end of the line from where I’m standing. Finally! Good Lord! Well, it’s still going to take a while before I can even get there, but it is getting closer every two minutes.

***

          And finally, after a full nine months of waiting in that God Forsaken lineup (and yes, I did count every single day; 270 days to be exact), I finally reached the end of the line, and it is, in fact, what I heard people say about it. At the end there are two massive separate doors: the one on the left had a radiant glow shining from the other side of it, and the one on the right had a solemn dark hue emanating from the other side (I think it’s quite easy to determine which one leads to where). And, standing comfortably between these two doors was a beautiful woman with long golden locks flowing from the top of her head to behind her perfectly shaped shoulders. She was wearing a long white dress that touched the floor, and atop of her blond head rested a small crown of flowers.

          I could hear her high-pitched voice ask the person in front of me to step through the dark door. He followed her orders without any fuss and made his way through the entrance. Then, it was my turn. I moved up towards the stunning girl and looked at her wistfully. She looked like she was tired out of her mind, and as though she did not want to be there, sorting through person after person.

          “Hello,” she took a quick glance at some papers that she was holding in her hands, “Ryu Goshoyama. I see that you died nine months ago after having been hit by a truck moving at full speed through a residential area. Very unlucky.” She yawned and then wiped away a tear from her eye.

          I rose my hand, prepared to ask the most important question of my death to this woman.

          “And yes, before you ask, I am God, and yes I am a woman. It’s not that surprising, get over it.”

          I then lowered my hand, having received the answer to the most important question of my death.

          “Well, since you did die in this fashion, I do have a special offer for you,” she continued. A hole in the ground opened up and from that hole came out a massive lever. With all of her strength, she pulled on it, and during this whole time all I could do was pray to… her, and hope, for all that’s good in this world, that it’s not an option to be transported to another world.

          The two doors simply disappeared into nothingness, and a single door behind her opened up. “You, Ryu Goshoyama, have been chosen to be transported to another world and be given the chance to save it, in other words: you’ve been chosen to be Isekaid.” She said trying to put on a happy smile, but failed miserably.  “No, no, no,” I spoke, “how can you do this to me, didn’t you hear any of my prayers? This is the one thing that I absolutely didn’t want to happen to me! I don’t want to be transported to another world! Couldn’t you ask the other people behind me at least?” I turned back to point at the massive line of people waiting behind me, but like magic, they were all gone, every last one out of sight.

          I turned back towards her with an exhausted look pasted on my face, there she was staring back at me. “What are you talking about?” she asked me, “You’re the last one on my list for today, and why not take the opportunity? This is a fantastic chance to recreate yourself, because, from what I can see from the files we have on you, you haven’t done much with your life up until now: no social life, no romantic relationships, and an incredibly odd and creepy relationship with your younger sister. I think you should take this opportunity, because the people of that world drastically need your help. So, please, reconsider, Ryu.”

          Oh no. What do I do now? My fear of being Isekaid and my trouble with disobeying orders are clashing with each other and I just don’t know what to do anymore (you see, I told you this would come back in the plot). What should I do? Common Ryu think, think! You have to think of an answer an answer!

          “Well, alright then, if you don’t want to get transported to another world, I guess I’ll send you to h-”

          “No!” I yelled out. “I’ll go to that other world and help those people. But I’ll be doing it fast, so once I’m done helping them with their little problems, you better send me to a relaxing place afterwards. Alright?”

“Okay, so let me get this straight then: you don’t want to go to another world, but you still want to save it?” she inquired, which is honestly not a bad question to ask. “Yes,” I answered with as much of a smile I could muster. “Well then, it’s settled.” She answered, and then the door behind her opened wide letting out greenish-blueish rays of light.

          Yes. I had made my decision. In the end my urge to obey people overpowered my paranoia, and now I’m being sent to the place I hate the most, another world.

          I took a few steps forward and peered through the entryway. I couldn’t really see anything but a few colors and some blurred shapes in the distance. I will admit, I did hesitate to take those last few steps through the door. But, as I spun my head around to give one last farewell to God, I saw her running towards me at full speed, jump into the air, and then kick me in the back, pushing me through the doorway, “Just go already!” she yelled. And then, after that, I was knocked-out cold.   

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