Chapter 299. Going for a Ride.
Even though the cart was powered with mana, it still made that familiar clacking sound as it climbed up an incline toward the opening in the mountain. We were essentially crash test dummies for the amusement park, and I saw a goblin worker planting trees on the mountainside give us a sad shake of his head as we passed. Even he knew we were in for it.
I realized something then; the carts had appeared around the corner of the mountain empty. Did that mean everyone aboard for the last test died, or were they somehow unsummoned on the other side of the ride? Whatever the reason, I was about to find out.
The track leveled out as we entered the dark cave. Glowing crystals, probably powered with mana of some sort, lined the ride. It was still dark inside, but there was enough light to see the cheap, painted wooden cutouts they had placed for “ambiance”. A sign near the cave mouth told me what I was looking at.
Follow the brave team of adventurers as they journey into the dragon’s lair and seek the treasure within. Will they survive their adventure, or will the dragon have a fresh meal to enjoy?
There were four wooden cutouts, painted to look like an orc warrior in plate armor, a human woman in chainmail with mace and shield, a halfling rogue in leather armor with a sword in hand, and finally, a goblin wizard in dark robes with a wand in one hand and a longsword in the other.
The track turned and we were led deeper into the fake mountain. We began to climb as we entered a stretch of the ride with no mana lights. In the pitch black, we reached the top of our journey and then the carts began to race down the track, picking up speed as we spiraled down. Now, lights reappeared, flashing onto more cheap wooden cutouts of the adventurers battling various minions of the dragon.
When we reached the bottom of our drop with a firm jolt, the ride smoothed out. The gnome next to me yelped in panic. I could see him flying up and out of the cart, the lap bar proving no impediment to him begin thrown out. A quick grab allowed me to snag onto his robes and haul him back into his seat, where the gnome grabbed the lap bar with a death grip and nodded his thanks.
I still couldn’t speak, but I was able to nod in reply. I smiled, realizing we probably looked like two dudes who thought they were too cool for anything other than a nod of acknowledgement. The tracks then led us slowly through an open cavern, where the lighting was better and the party whose adventures we were following had set camp.
If I knew my amusement park rides, we would be in for another climb and then the grand finale. As we started the climb, wooden cutouts of small dragons shot from the walls and toward our carts, with badly recorded growls sounding out as they moved. It was here that we hit our first snag. Apparently one of the cutouts wasn’t secured properly and the wooden dragon-shaped plank launched itself into the rear cart.
Things happened too fast for me to see the impact, but when I did get turned around in my seat, both occupants in the rear car were no longer there. Presumably, they had been killed and turned into mana vapor as they were unsummoned. The ride ground to a halt and we were stuck there, able to do nothing.
Thankfully, my cart was in the front and well past the dragon hatchling cutouts that kept flying forward and back. It was probably only a matter of time before another one broke free of its restraints and crashed into a cart. Suddenly, the cutouts all retracted and the lights overhead glowed brighter.
A trio of goblin workers emerged from a side tunnel. I’d never worked in an amusement park, but I had met several people in California that had at one point or another. The rides like this one were usually riddled with hidden passages allowing the maintenance teams to access the rides.
“I thought we had that one squared away. I guess Jeff was right and we need to double up on the mounting brackets on these things,” one of the goblins complained as he pulled out an iron bracket and headed toward the broken dragon cutout. The other pair of workers hauled in a replacement cutout, telling me that this was probably a regular occurrence.
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“Hey, new guy, head back to the control room and tell them the ride is clear. Make sure they keep these things on inactive, though. I don’t want them hitting us while we’re working,” one of the goblins said. The smallest of the trio ran off deeper into the mountain to follow his orders, and a few minutes later, our journey resumed.
We clacked and clattered our way up the big incline, and once at the top, began what felt like a breakneck journey toward a cavern lit with open flames alongside the glowing crystals. Here I could see four live versions of the adventurers that had been depicted throughout the ride.
Instead of bravely facing the dragon, they were sitting down and eating what must have been their lunch. They gave us a casual glance as our carts streamed past them, and pretty much ignored us. I guess the park realized that painted wooden cutouts weren’t going to be enough for the paying passengers, and the goblins intended for a bit of a live action show to spice things up.
We now hurled toward the “dragon”. This time, it was just a metal framework, and I had to guess that there was probably some illusion magic to bring it to life when the ride was finally ready. Nobody was going to be satisfied with the erector set looking thing in front of us. What did have me worried was how the jaws of the contraption continually seemed to snap down, almost hitting the rails.
Our path was right through the things mouth, and I had a good feeling that this is where most of the previous passengers had met their fate. The jaws clamped down as my cart passed under. A loud crash sounded out as the jaws closed on the car behind us. The connection between our car and the rest of the train snapped and we surged forward as the others slammed into the now broken dragon maw.
We moved past before I could get a good look, but it didn’t appear that there were many survivors. My gnome riding buddy looked at me with terror in his eyes as the ride slowed and I could see the light of day as the exit neared. I couldn’t say anything to reassure my companion, but I figured the worst was over.
Rides typically now slowed down until you reached the debarkation area. The whole process was about getting everyone efficiently off, so the carts could be sent to pick up the next group of customers. A final, painted wooden cutout greeted us as we left. It was the goblin wizard, and one arm was animated to wave. As we passed by the wizard, a final sign was placed before we exited the mountain.
The battle with the dragon was fierce, and only the great and powerful goblin wizard Braznil has survived. Before you leave, make sure to get your plushy version of your favorite characters from the ride. As a special deal for new guests, the plushies are now buy one, get one free for a limited time!
It seemed like the goblins had the merchandizing piece of the amusement park experience down pat. If they could keep the rides from killing most of the guests, they might actually be able to turn a decent profit. We passed outside, and as my eyes adjusted to the bright daylight, I could see the landing where the guests would normally get off the ride. There was even a gift shop placed so the guests would be forced to walk through it before they could leave.
Instead of stopping there, our sole surviving cart made its way back to the loading area where the goblin Jeff waited for us, a look of disappointment on his face as he saw the state of the train after this brief journey through the mountain. As the ride slowed to a stop, I could see the goblin Kriznip return with a fresh batch of summoned victims.
“Damn, we’re going to have to have maintenance hook up some more carts,” Jeff said as Kriznip pushed the “safety” bar aside so we could exit.
“Yeah, and the mages will need to be summoned to make sure the mana drive crystals are charged up enough. That’s going to take some time, and I doubt that you’ll be ready for this lot before their summoning expires. Where do you want me to take them?” Kriznip asked.
“I’ll check, give me a second,” Jeff said, chanting a quick spell and pawing at the air like he was working on a tablet before continuing. “Okay, they need more test subjects at the Vortex of Doom, send them down that way.”
“Fine, but that ride’s in even worse shape than this one. What genius thought it was a good idea to introduce a real live pond grabber to the ride?” Kriznip complained.
“Yeah, I can’t say that has worked out very well. Supposedly, they’ve got its feeding and pacification spells sorted out now, but I guess that’s what this group will find out for us,” Jeff said.
“All right, buddy, see you after work for some drinks? I hear the commissary is bringing in some stronger stuff to keep us all happy,” Kriznip asked.
“I’ll be there, see ya,” Jeff replied in a friendly manner as I joined the other group of summoned beings that were marching toward whatever the Vortex of Doom was. If it was as well constructed and maintained as the dragon ride, I didn’t have a good feeling about our chances of surviving.