Pain. Then darkness. I see my life flashing before my life. A ten year old child stomping on ants and filling the ant hole with water from a hose with the power on to the max. How nostalgic... Me growing up and going to high school and bullying the fat nerdy kid,

smoking grass(weed) with my friends, and cranking up the rap/nigga/gangsta music in my cherry red ferrari. sigh... good ol' times.

I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. My name is Jacob Obama, son of the President of the United Fucking States bitches!

I like to believe that I was quite the good child. I brought home straight A's, was actually quite athletic, did tae kwon do and fucked bitches and got money. Being the son of the President definitely had its perks.

One day I decided to go to a bar with my friends. We were having a great time and got hella drunk. I was hitting on a girl but for some reason she kept on rejecting me and I got pissed and grabbed her arm to try to take her to my car, then she screamed for help. I got into a big fight with this one guy and voila. I get stabbed and bleed to death like a faggot. I hope those douches go to jail and live their lives in misery.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

(Sigh...) So here I am in the darkness not knowing what the fuck is going on.

(A long, long time later...)

I started wiggling around a bit.. (Strange I can't feel my arms or legs...) I feel something crack/break. Excited i decide to squirm around some more and I see the light. I finally break free from my prison and see a huge ass ugly mother fucking ant in front of me. So i do the logical thing. I scream like a little fucking bitch.

I'm scared that that thing is gonna eat me but it just carries me to another place filled with a whole bunch of other little maggots.

I come to the realization that I reincarnated... as an ant... fuck... fuck my life...

What the hell did i do to deserve this?