Darkness, the absence of light.
As the world forms around me, that is the only truth.
The wall in front of me is pitch black, as is the ceiling and the furniture.
As I lie on the bed, it too is like graphite. As is the blanket.
I pull myself up. My hands are like a silhouette.
Why... Nothing has color?
Did they have color before? I can't seem to remember.
Where am I? It is hard to tell due to the color, but it looks like a hospital.
If someone brushed black paint all over it.
Why am I in a hospital? I don't know.
I should go... Home? Do I have one?
Not anymore? That sounds true.
Then... Is someone waiting for me?
I don't think so.
Actually...
I walk to the bathroom.
Turn off the light, that only makes the darkness clearer to see.
A boy stares at me. I don't know who.
Eyes as black as the abyss, pitch black hair.
Also... I can't seem to make any more features, as it is a shadow.
A silhouette.
Should be around nine and twelve years old. Not sure.
That reflection, that is me? It moves when I do, it should be, atleast.
I don't know my name, nor do I know my past.
What I should do now? That too is a mystery.
I guess I will just return to my bed, and patiently wait.
Time pass by as I continue to breathe.
Seconds turn to minutes.
Soon enough, someone opens the door.
A shadow.
Or better, a woman shrouded in black?
The silhoutte is that of a nurse.
She walks to me, and starts talking.
The words do not matter to me.
Because there is something wrong with her.
Inside of her... There is something... Darker?
It is like darkness is the absence of light.
Then that is the absence of darkness?
The concept of light and darkness do not exist.
No concepts exist inside of that.
A blank... A empty hole...
A void.
I fixate on it, it is wrong...
As I stare into the void, I start to hear it, to feel it...
What is happening...
Like entering through a cave's entrance, I go deeper and deeper.
> A girl is born.
>
> Her parents are happy to see her.
> She grows in a happy family.
>
> One day, she discovers her father with a younger woman.
> She tells her mother.
>
> Soon enough, what was a happy family turns into a battlefield.
> Her parents go their separate ways, she stays with her mother.
>
> Her father never as much look at her direction anymore.
> Time passes by, her life continues.
>
> One day, she meets a man.
> The man catches her eye, and she falls in love.
> The man was like a fairy tale prince, doing everything to make her happy.
> One day, she discovered he was married. He tells her that he will divorce to be with her.
> That he truly loved her.
>
> She waits and waits.
>
> One day, something forms inside of her body.
> The beginning of a new life.
>
> She never had such a smile on her face.
> As she goes to tell her loved one.
>
> On that day, he changed.
>
> What was once a kind and loving person, turned into a bitter, aggressive monster.
> He beat her up, on a fit of rage.
> He told her to get rid of it.
> Only after doing so, he would see her again.
>
> The woman hurried to do it.
> As she aborted the child of the man she loved.
>
> The man... However.
> Was nowhere to be seen.
> He had moved away, to a place she didn't know where, with his true family.
>
> Since then, she lost something.
As I look into her...
The void is located near her hips.
Blergh-
Before I know it, a vision of a discarded creature comes into my mind.
I start to puke.
The nurse tries to help me, and calls in a doctor.
What just happened... Did I just see the past of that nurse?
It is horrible... I felt so much grief, so much pain, hopelessness...
Why did I feel that? Almost like I was in her skin.
Before long, the doctor arrives.
Ignoring the fact that he too is a shadow, he looks like a normal doctor.
He asks how I'm doing, and as I reply.
His face is cold, without a hint of emotion.
As he writes what I tell him, I notice something on his right hand.
Where is it? It is there... But, even so, it is empty.
A void... That is where his void is located?
Out of curiosity, I continue to stare at it.
My heart begins to hurt.
> He finally could obtain his doctor's degree.
> His dream? To save lives as much as he could.
>
> As the months passed, he did as he always wanted.
> Saved lives.
>
> But lost some... His heart began to cry as each life he couldn't save.
> One day, a child died during a surgery.
>
> Stop, stop, stop.
>
> His heart died that day.
> The man, without his heart.
> Continued to work.
>
> Day after day, he saved some, and lost some.
> He didn't falter. It didn't matter where he succeded or not.
> The only thing that mattered is that he took a step each time a step was taken.
>
> Proceed. Forward. Proceed.
>
> That was his answer.
>
> His income didn't change whether he saved or not.
> Then... He noticed how meaningless that was.
> With the money, he found purpose.
>
> He didn't work to save lives.
> He worked for money.
>
> Months passed.
>
> Money... Money... Money...
> Riches...
>
> That was the only thing on his mind.
One day, someone appeared to him.
Said that his cold glare when performing a surgery was incredible.
And gave him a new meaning.
> Patients that died had a use.
> No death would be in vain.
>
> Their hearts, their lungs, their kidneys.
> They would become something far more durable than human life.
>
> Money.
>
> As he got more and more money...
> His void only grew more and more.
> His greed is without end.
>
> He will continue on this path, not feeling happy.
> Not feeling realized. Always obtaining what is eternal.
The man in front of me is a organ trafficker...
On that day, I noticed I was different from everyone else.
After that, they told me that I was found inconscious in the middle of the city.
I was in a coma for a week, and had only just woken up.
They don't know who I am, and due to my amnesia, they can't seem to discover.
After a few months of looking for my parents, the detectives concluded that I do not exist in any of the databases.
Someone who just appeared one day.
They sent me to a orphanage soon enough.
That was where I would live.
Each of the children had a different void.
Different size, different location.
And looking at them, I would feel disgusted.
I would feel bad, I could feel the cortisol being released in my bloodstream.
Being near another human being meant looking at their void without I even wanting to.
I felt sick near them, which is why I stayed away.
Even the caretaker grandmother had a void.
She tried to make me socialize, but to no avail.
"Did you hear? That boy do not have any friends."
"Why?"
"They say he is sick."
Sickness...
That is interesting.
Because from my perspective.
All of you are the ones who are sick.
Each and every human being is sick.
Their voids only grow as time goes by.
What a horrible existence.
Yes... That is right.
The animals are different.
They do not have voids, they exist... They are pure beings.
No sadness in a well-treated dog. That is true happiness.
True meaning.
Humans can't ever do that. Because they are corrupted beings.
One day, while strolling near the lake.
I looked at it. Clear water.
I guess non-living existences are also pure.
The monochrome world that I saw.
Where the only color that exist is pitch black.
The reflection of the sun.
The reflection of the trees.
The reflection of myself.
...
No... It can't be...
As I looked at my own body.
I noticed it.
Inside of my chest.
Where my heart should be.
There was nothing.
I fall to my knees.
"Then... I too am..."
That is right.
This is why I don't feel good about myself.
I too have a void.
The worst part is that...
It is the biggest one I've ever seen.
I don't have a family.
I don't have a name.
I don't have a soul.
Nothing... I don't have a place to call home.
A friend to spend time with.
Nothing.
"Hahaha..."
A few days after that.
The caretaker fell ill.
As death approached.
Something on her changed.
The void in her body...
It became smaller and smaller.
Until one day, she died.
Tears fell out of my eyes.
Not because I cared about her... I don't have emotions after all.
It is just that she...
Did not have a void anymore.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
How could I be so dumb.
So that is how.
That is how!
I ran away from her funeral at the same time.
Rain poured from the sky.
From the distance, there was something coming.
A car.
That is the only way for me to get rid of this empty feeling.
I take a step forward.
Tears fall from my eyes.
As my entire body is enveloped in warmth.
My feet stop.
I come close to death.
I feel death's warm embrace.
Even so, it is not my time yet.
The car continue without hitting anything.
This feeling...
On that same week, a thought continued following me.
I bought a rope, and tied a knot.
As I jumped from the chair, the knot came loose, and I fell to the floor.
Again, I could only feel the embrace of death.
Tears fell again, and the warmth...
As the days passed by...
I tried cutting my wrists with a scissor.
Ultimately failed.
But again, I felt it.
Another day, I tried gulping on many pills.
Only to puke them out shortly after.
But again, I felt it.
That feeling...
Years passed by.
Each day... I couldn't stop...
But after more than a decade, I never was able to get rid of my void.
I know, one day, when I finally reach death.
That is when I will be free from this sickness.
----------------------------------------
Fire... I need to get away... Three charred bodies-
----------------------------------------
I open my eyes... Did I fall asleep?
There is someone obscuring the light.
Good to see that the entire world is still painted in black.
In front of me, there was a man dressed in black.
A cloaked figure, with his hands on his pockets.
There aren't any other colors, anyway.
He wants to buy something.
I spend my days working at a convenience store.
A knife, I see.
I scan it and the man goes away.
I yawn... My thirty three years old body is tired of living.
As I open the cash register... There is no money in here.
What happened?
Soon enough, my boss appears.
"So, you see... I slept and there was this suspicious man-"
I can't believe I got fired.
As I return to my house, the rain continues to pour.
Cars come and go to everywhere.
I imagine myself jumping in front of them.
And before I know it. I'm nearly ran over.
Life still clings.
But death continues to embrace me...
"Aahhhhh."
This warmth... This is otherwordly.
I guess this is why she died with a smile on her face.
I continue home, I rent a apartment in a slum near work.
But now that I was fired, I don't know how I will pay the rent this month.
I open the door, and walk to my bed.
Many knots decorate the view.
The sink has many puked pills.
A brand new scissors near the bed.
I grab it and prepare to cut my wrists off.
Unfortunately, the scissors come flying from my hand and fall through a crack in the wooden floor.
"Shit, I can't even hold something without losing my grip on it."
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"
The feeling... The warmth...
When I look to the side... What?
Many bills are on the floor.
Money? Where did this come from?
Knock knock.
Hm?
Knock knock.
Someone is at the door.
I forget about the money and walk to open it.
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Before I can.
It opens on its own.
Didn't I lock the door earlier...
Actually, where is my key?
As the door opens.
A man walks in.
Who-
A hooded figure in all black.
He ignores me and walks to the table on the kitchen.
And sit on a chair.
"Hello. Long time no see."
He pulls his hood back.
Revealing the face of a man around my age. His black hair covered one of his eyes.
"Who."
"Of course you don't remember. We were from the same orphanage."
With the amount of children in that orphanage, it doesn't surprise me to see that I don't remember anyone.
"So, how is life going?" - He looks around, the many suicide attempts around him.
"Huh... I see it isn't great, atleast?" - He lifts his eyebrow to the scene.
"What do you want?"
"For now I'm just talking to an old friend.
Come, sit."
I walk and sit in front of him.
"Friend?"
"Yeah, from that place, no one talked neither to you, nor to me.
So I kinda feel we're kindred spirits of a sort."
"But I don't remember you at all."
"Well, I guess I got lucky, a family came and pitied me so much they adopted me!" - He proclaims.
"But let me tell you a story."
As I look at him.
I easily notice the void on his right hand.
> "Once... My life was bleak.
> Nothing shined at all.
> So... I made a decision.
> I would be happy."
>
> The boy, unhappy with his existence.
> Decided to find happiness.
>
> To do that. He made a list.
> Ten Goals.
>
> He researched all the ways to obtain happiness.
> And made his entire existence's goal to find it.
>
> 1 - Have a loving family:
> After developing his human interaction skill, he got good grades, and finally was able to be adopted.
> Then, he made his parents love him.
>
> 2 - Have friends:
> On his new school, he talked with everyone.
> And soon enough, he made a bond with other people that nothing could break.
>
> 3 - Have a girlfriend:
>
> 4 - Obtain a degree
>
> 5 - Get a high paying job.
>
> 6 - Have children.
>
> 7 - Travel to all sorts of places in the world.
>
> 8 - Eat all the best foods in the best restaurants.
>
> 9 - See the happiness in each of his children, and the smile of his wife.
"Then, I did it, I completed everything."
"So..."
As I continue to look onto the void...
It is still big.
"I guess nothing worked."
That is right, living is hell, only death can grant freedom.
From this sickness.
"Yes... I continue as empty as ever."
"Wait a second, what about the last item?"
I look onto his void once more.
> "10 - Discover how it feels to murder someone."
Everything seemed to freeze at that.
Then...
"But I couldn't just kill anyone.
I needed to do a good thing.
Which is when I remembered you.
Different from me, that didn't accept being sad.
You thrived in it, it didn't matter to you if no one accepted you.
You could live without anyone, you realized that sadness is the core of your soul."
He gets more and more thrilled.
"You are pure... Which is why...
I want to help you. To help get rid of the pain crawling on your back."
I see.
That makes sense.
I guess... This is what I was waiting for.
"But I won't do it if you don't want to.
You can just walk away from here, and we will never meet again.
You just need to open that door that I will let you live."
I continue, without moving a finger.
I guess this is the end...
I will finally be able to die.
My time has finally come...
Then... Why I'm sweating...?
Where is the warmth?
I start to cry.
Something has just been made clear.
This is something that I can't rely on someone else to do.
I get up. If I will die, it need to be by my own hands.
I will escape.
"I see."
I take step after step.
Voices in my head tell me this is the perfect chance.
No... I won't run away.
In each day, how many times have I tried to take my life?
I won't be resting well if I don't prove to myself I can do it on my own.
I grab the doorknob.
It won't bulge.
"Huh?"
"I said... If you open the door.
Too bad I locked it."
--------------------------------
Yes... There is no way for me to run.
That was just a test.
"I see you have tried to kill yourself many times.
A coward I will say. I atleast thought that you, my hero.
Would be thrilled to die. But you aren't as pure as I once thought.
But I will take pity on you.
I will take your life, you wanting or not."
He gets up.
From his left pocket, he grabs a knife.
The same one he bought earlier.
A brand new steel to cut my life into pieces.
"HAHAHAHAHA."
He laughs maniacally, as he prepares to stab, and run towards me.
This is the end.
There is nothing I can do.
Nothing... Nothing...
The knife never reaches my heart.
"Huh?"
"Why?"
Before I know it, both of my hands are holding his left wrist.
The knife is one centimeter away from my heart.
"I will do this without any help!"
I press on his wrist with both of my hands.
The knife falls to the floor.
It echoes on the empty apartment.
Before I know it, my hand turns into a fist.
Pounding the face of the man in front of me.
"Ugh!"
He falls to the floor.
I see it is been a while since he last took a punch.
"I see I won't ever know the feeling of stabbing someone with a knife.
Atleast..."
Hm?!
On his right hand, he brings something out of his pocket.
A metallic object...
A shotgun.
"I guess this is the end for you."
He pulls the trigger.
----------------------------------------
Darkness, the absence of light.
Darkness, forever darkness.
Even so... This place does not have it.
The absence of the concept of light and darkness.
This is the void.
Empty... Void.
That isn't the only thing lacking in here.
Time, and space also do not exist.
Neither do anything else.
I try to look on my hand.
But it don't exist either.
My body is not necessary.
Only the fundamentals are.
"Me".
That is the only thing that exist here.
The time before the universe was born.
The primordial void.
I can't suicide in here.
I need that warmth.
Where is it.
Please...
I continue to move through it.
With no end at all.
Eras pass by, but it don't matter, there is no time.
I will continue to travel in here.
Until I find something.
Until I find someone.
I found.
----------------------------------------
I open my eyes, as the universe forms around me.
Where I am? My body feels light.
I try to move, and I'm able to.
An empty room.
Everything painted black, as usual.
Atleast, that is my side of it.
There are two beds in here.
The one where I am, and an empty one.
From my side of the room, there are nothing.
Only the necessary.
Simple clothes, no decorations, nothing.
On the other side.
There are toys, there are prizes, medals, trophies.
Branded clothes... Everything...
Almost as if no one lived in here.
And someone with actual value lived over there.
I walk to the bathroom.
The world is still monochrome.
This brings a sense of deja vu.
A child... Around ten years old.
That is me... That is my body from when I woke up in that hospital.
Am I dreaming? No... This feels too real.
This is my past body.
I returned to the past.
But I never lived in such a home.
This is not the orphanage nor the hospital.
Nor the wet apartment.
Even so... There is something missing.
I walk to the bed.
And lie down on it.
Warmth... The death's warmth...
It is been a while since I last had it...
Right? I walked in that empty place for so long.
I grab my tongue with one hand.
And with the other, prepare to close my jaw.
Something tries to hold me.
I know this feeling too well.
The instinct of a lifeform.
Every time I try to get rid of my life.
This instinct kicks in.
I think it is to stop animals from killing themselves.
Even so, with a little willpower, I'm able to completely ignore this.
Instincts aren't good.
Or will you say the desire to eat a fast food is a good thing?
It takes your health away, that is a instinct, isn't it?
Instincts are just something we have as animals.
But it simply don't matter, it too is a sickness.
Here goes nothing.
As I expect to fail, it don't.
My tongue goes flying.
What-
This time... I could do it?!
I didn't cry this time.
Finally, finally...
The sweet embrace of death-
...
...
Where... Where is it?
Blood splatters more and more.
I start to choke on it.
I turn my body to the side.
The blood continues...
Leaving me behind.
What is this feeling...
I know it all too well...
Coldness?
This is it?
As the blood leaves me behind.
My body starts to get colder and colder.
I guess there is no sweet embrace this time...
Atleast... I was able to become free from the void in my chest.
There is something beautiful about dying... You know?
They say that human beings have free will...
But they don't.
We don't choose the place we're born, we don't choose our parents.
If your identity is a mix of our genetic and the place we grew in...
We don't choose either.
So... Any choices that you make as a human being, are defined by things you couldn't choose.
Meaning they are the result of the universe, not of your will.
The universe is deterministic. Even if quantum mechanics might be random.
That don't concern you as a human being.
So... Every pain, that every human has ever felt...
They didn't decide it, it was all fate.
My death today... It is also fate...
As was the emptiness in my chest.
Atleast... If I stop existing...
Become nothing... Become pure...
Fate won't decide anything for me.
The kind caretaker... The kind nurse...
The children who once tried to be friends with me...
It doesn't matter.
Because it was my fate to be alone.
I can finally die.
----------------------------------------
I open my eyes, as the universe forms around me.
...
Hmm?
This place...
The same bedroom that I woke up earlier...
Did-
"Did I just went back in time." - A voice I know all too well replies to my thoughts.
"Yes! You did." - A smug someone continues to talk.
"Y-You..."
As I look to the other side of the room.
There is someone sitting on the other bed.
A boy with black hair.
A boy with black eyes.
A living silhouette.
"Hm? Do you remember me?" - He shrugs his shoulder.
"That appearance... And voice... You're me?"
"Well... That is correct, and also wrong...
Well, let's say I am... I am your clone."
He gets up and walks to me.
"So, why did you kill yourself?" - The clone asks
"To get rid of my void... Shouldn't you know, as you're myself?"
"What do you mean by void? I don't have a single idea." - The clone asks again
"The void! The emptiness that every human being has.
It is the source of all the pain and lack of meaning.
The only way to get rid of it is through death."
He takes a minute to ponder.
"I see... Then you have one?"
"Yes. On my chest. It is massive."
"Humhum... Then where is mine?"
"Well, if you're me, then it should be-"
I look at his chest.
It is normal.
I look around his body.
Where is it...
"You... Where is it?"
"Try looking at my head."
As I focus on his head... On his brain...
It is there... But I can't see it well. It is so tiny.
"How is my void looking?"
"Small, tiny, miniscule. I can't even see any pain from this distance."
"I see... That makes sense."
"How... You are likely a lucky fool who never got any pain in his life."
"Oh. I did. I lost my best friend once."
"You didn't care about him. Because that is nowhere to be seen in your void."
"Of course I still do. It is just that I've accepted his passing away.
I got over it. He wouldn't me to be sad, which is why I continue forward."
...This smug bastard.
"Actually, this emptiness...
I had quite a lot of it once.
But then I made friends, went on a journey.
And this is where I currently stand."
"Are you saying you decreased the size of your void? By... Having friends?
Are you even listening to what you are saying? The nature of the void is different.
Having something do not decrease its size, but it increases, due to greed."
"I disagree! Greed only comes when you want more.
I am rather satisfied with what I have. Why I would want more?"
"You're... Wrong.
There is a catch somewhere."
"Enough about me. What about you.
Will you just try to kill yourself again?"
"I think so. The last time it didn't work.
But I'm accostumed, I just need to keep trying."
"Determined, I see.
Then you need to fear it."
As I prepare to bite my own tongue again, he rushes towards me.
Punching me right in the face.
"Argh!"
Before I can breathe, he continues punching.
"Argh-"
"Ugh-"
"Stop!"
His emotionless face ignores my pleas. My conscience wavers-
I open my eyes... Did I faint?
Hm?
My body is unable to move.
He tied me to the bed.
"Let me make myself clear. I do not want you to die.
So could you stop killing yourself?"
"I won't."
"You motherfuck- Okay, okay.
I have a question.
When I was punching you, you told me to stop.
Why?"
"Because it hurt!"
"Interesting. You don't care if you die.
But you do if you feel pain.
Then..."
As I try to move my body.
He takes something off.
And shows to me.
A kitchen knife.
He starts to cut my skin.
Peeling it off.
"Argh, why?"
He notices my voice, and quickly ties a cloth on my mouth.
I can't speak anymore.
He slowly cuts through my skin.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
ARRGHHH-
I can't even scream.
I need to sustain this pain.
I'm stronger than this.
Stop... Please stop...
I look to the side, as my skin accumulates in the floor.
Ugh... He isn't stopping.
He takes his time, my entire skin is removed in a little over three hours.
The torture continues.
He starts to remove more and more.
The fat on my legs.
The muscle on my arms.
Like a very skilled butcher.
I can't fall asleep.
It continues to hurt.
But I don't care anymore.
A little over twenty hours.
I won't ever move again, there is no muscle.
He had already started to amputate my arms and legs.
There is no going back.
Even so... Why I feel like this will never end.
So much... Pain.
All of the non-essential organs have been removed.
In a puddle of what used to be me, they rest.
"Can you still hear me?
I know you can.
You're clearly something else.
You retain your mind after all of this
Your determination is out of this world."
He laughs.
Even so...
"Let me make this clear.
Every time that you kill yourself.
I will do this."
I see...
"I will end your pain now
A entire day has passed already."
He plunges the knife in my brain.
----------------------------------------
I open my eyes, as the universe forms around me.
The third time that I wake up.
He is already over there.
Just by seeing him.
I feel fear.
My instincts tell me he is a monster.
To retain a steady face through everything that he did to me.
"Okay, let me make the rules clear."
Rules... Then this will be a game.
"I've cursed you.
Every time you die, time will return.
And you will wake up.
If you kill yourself.
I will torture your for a entire day.
Every single time."
"..."
"You must be asking yourself.
How do you win?
Simple, kill me.
After I die, the curse will end, and you will be finally able to die.
In other words. Fight for your Death."
I see... Then...
I will completely destroy you.
I instantly get up, running towards my own clone.
I prepare to punch him in the face, but he easily dodges.
"Too slow."
He won't hold back, that much is clear.
A fist comes flying in my direction.
Hitting me in the face.
He won't stop.
He is already preparing much more.
When the head spins too fast, you lose conscience.
Which is why hitting someone on the chin is a surefire way to faint them.
That is exactly where he is focusing on.
I try to dodge, but to no avail.
Punch after punch.
Soon enough, my world darkens.
----------------------------------------
I open my eyes, as the universe forms around me.
Again... He already comes running towards me.
I need to-
Too fast-
Stop-
He ain't stopping.
I got defeated already-
----------------------------------------
I open my eyes, as the universe forms around me.
I need to do this-
----------------------------------------
Not again.
----------------------------------------
Time and time again.
He beats the shit out of me.
After I lose conscience, he definitely kills me.
Then time resets.
No matter how many times I try to defend myself.
I can't.
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Ten Deaths... Twenty Deaths...
I start to carve his movements on my brain...
----------------------------------------
How can I dodge... How can I defend...
My mind continues to learn, more and more...
If you beat a dog every time they bite you.
Soon enough, it will stop biting you.
Due to fear.
It is the same.
Every time that I fail to defend myself.
I die.
My brain is learning.
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Thirty Deaths.
I've become able to dodge a few punches.
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Fourty Deaths
I've lasted thirty seconds.
I'm starting to copy his movements, more and more.
And use them on offense.
Each time I die, I become better.
I just need to continue for enough time.
----------------------------------------
Sixty Deaths
I've nearly hit him.
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Eighth Deaths
I was able to survive a entire minute.
And hit him a few times.
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Two Hundred Deaths
Assimilation is complete.
Our levels of skills in martial arts is the same.
Even so, I can't defeat him.
The reason is simple.
I've learned it through multiple deaths on the same day.
But he learned through actual training.
The different is clear.
His muscles have developed way more than mine.
I have the brain to fight, but not the body.
Our difference is simply of the body.
I've tried to run away from him, flee, and hide.
Start to train my body. But he always finds me and kills me.
I don't think there is any hope.
----------------------------------------
I've tried to run, currently in the middle of the road.
It is night.
I don't know the exact time.
But everything so far has happened during nighttime.
On this road. The two shadows will fight one another.
He runs towards me.
There is no way for me to win.
That much is clear.
I need to escape.
I dodge and run towards the city.
He continues to pursue me.
I try to get him out of my sight.
But he is good at seeking.
"Huff... Hufff... Shit."
He made me run towards a dead end.
I guess this is the end.
There is no hope anymore.
I can't defeat him.
Each step he takes towards me...
Copying him... Isn't enough.
And I'm unable to train.
As he approaches...
My mind finally realizes it is useless.
Despair...
I can't beat him.
Even so, something inside of me.
Knows that I will be in this cycle of death forever.
I won't ever be able to die.
Which is why... I will fight here.
I need to try something different...
But I was never the sort of the creative type.
He prepares to punch.
If I can't defeat him as a doppelganger... Then... I need to learn my own skills.
But where-
Here, in this back alley, with no escape.
Something connects inside of me.
That time when I fought back against the one who came to murder me.
It is quite similar right?
Fight or Flight...
The instinct of a animal.
I've learned it before.
When a animal don't have a place to escape to, only fight remains.
The instinct to protect your own life.
That is clear... I've negated this instinct so much in my life.
I clearly don't give any value to my own life.
Then I will never win this fight.
Which means, I need to value it.
I need to know that if I don't defeat him.
I won't ever get rid of my void.
Which is why...
As he punches me, I take a step back.
I grab his arm, just like I did with the knife back then.
But this time...
With the same strength that I cut off my own tongue.
I am an animal.
I will use everything I have to win.
So far, he only used punches, that is his style.
Boxing... But this isn't a boxing match.
I can do anything I want.
I bite his hand with everything I have.
I spit one of his fingers at him.
He clearly wasn't expecting this.
Then, I will use this opportunity to punch him in the face.
He reads my movements, and already prepares to defend.
Good, that is what I would do.
You are my clone. Everything you do, I know how to do.
Our difference is clear.
My void is bigger.
I have more motivation, I have a greater motive to win.
Then I will ignore this dumb style you use.
In real life, everything counts in a fight.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHH!"
A punch directly at his testicles. You were completely open.
Now I will use my entire body weight to push you.
He falls to the concrete floor.
I jump over him.
Game over.
Check mate.
I hold both of his hands.
But I am still free.
Human beings are evolved animals.
So we all have the same survival instincts.
In a single bite, I rip his throat away from his neck.
He tries to speak, but his vocal chords aren't there anymore.
I win.
This means, I can finally...
Die-
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The world forms around me.
I am already standing.
"Hm?"
He starts clapping.
"Congratulations, congratulations.
I never expected this much.
You're really something else."
"Then-"
"Good, good.
You've defeated me! That is great.
Now you just need to defeat me...
While I'm free to use magic."
Huh?
Magic? What is he talking about?
I knew the time loops were something that should be impossible.
He keeps sinalizing for me to run at him.
Okay.
As I prepare to punch-
"Hm."
My body stops.
His hand... He is pointing his arm towards me.
And his hand is closing.
The more he closes his hand, the more I become unable to move.
Almost as if... I'm in the middle of his fingers.
He raises his arm.
And before I know it, my body starts to float in the air.
"Let me be clear. You should have awaken your magic to defeat me.
But you didn't... You're a real piece of work.
Then... Let me change the game.
You still need to defeat me. If you kill yourself, I will come torture you again.
But you won't be able to reach my level by fighting me. It is simple, I'm just too big of a step for you to reach.
Which is why you will need to train on your own for now.
Then you come have a rematch.
Actually, there is something you will need to defeat me.
A Reason."
"What...is...that?"
"There is a place for you to find it.
School, you will find it in school.
Now, goodbye."
What?
He presses his hand.
My body is turned into a puddle of blood.
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What a idiot brother I have... I wonder if he will change.
But if he is like me, he really only needs a best friend.
I continue to watch him sleep.
I can't believe so much happened, this time he will be able to wake up without an enemy awaiting for him.
Also, I'm sure he will think twice before ending his own life.
I can leave him on his own.
He won't stop until he can defeat me.
Clearly a idiot.
You will wake up.
In school. You will find so much.
Angels that will try to kill you.
Giants that you will never be able to defeat.
And maybe, just maybe, you will find a reason strong enough.
To defeat me.
I will be waiting.
Lignum Fraxinus.