Chapter 3 - The guildmate is a lying bitch

I was preparing myself to follow Cyath (that’s what the woman called herself) outside of the town. It obviously did not last long since I barely had anything to prepare in the first place.

After offering to help me, she had gone ahead of me and had told me to meet her at the town’s gate. On my way there however, I was stopped by a very old man wearing simple dark robes.

The bald grandpa approached me and talked to me.

“You… you’re one of them aren’t you ? How many does that make ?”

“I beg your pardon ?”

“Hmm… so you don’t know yet… poor child. In addition to being summoned, you’re reincarnated, aren’t you ?

“H-how do you know that !?”

“I know a lot of things, young boy. And while the future is uncertain, I pray that you will make the right decisions at the right time. If you do, then we’re bound to meet again. Also big boobs don’t lie so beware of flat chests, fufufufufu...”

After saying such enigmatic sentences, the perverted old man vanished in the crowd.

Enigmatic characters are a common trope in RPGs but knowing that does not give me any clue to decipher the advice he gave me...

Thinking deeper about it, there was one special thing that made me curious ever since I got summoned. The act of summoning me was performed by the king himself with the purpose of using me to turn the tide of the war. But… during the character creation, it was made clear that I could be born as an Orc, Dwarf, Elf or… Demon. If the war is between Demons and Humans then how come I had the option of being reincarnated as the enemy of those summoning me ? That did not make any sense…

Either way, Cyath was still waiting for me so I hurried to the gates. I noticed her from afar when I finally reached them.

“Ah you took some time, for someone who doesn’t have anything to prepare, heh ?”

“Sorry, sorry. Now let’s go.”

“Right.”

I let Cyath lead the way and followed her through the plains that surrounded the town until we finally managed to enter a forest.

“This is the Echo Forest. They say some spirits can sometimes be felt in here.”

“Alright, so do the goblins or wolves spawn in here ?”

“No, normal monsters like these spawn in the plains we just left.”

An anxious feeling suddenly rose through me. Why did she bring me in here then ?

“Huh ? Weren’t we meant to hunt wolves and goblins together ?”

“You’re pretty naive, I have to say. Well I guess you could call it a beginner's mistake. Look, did you ever bother trying to check my guild card ? You should have, before accepting help from me. Because unfortunately for you I don’t have one. I’m sorry to disappoint but I’m just a regular thug disguising herself as a senior adventurer in the hopes of luring naive newbies like you.”

She took out a knife and pointed it at me.

“Pfff… you saw I didn’t have anything worth stealing right ? So why ?”

“Are you joking ? Your sword may be worthless but your hero clothes are pretty rare. I can make a lot of money by selling them.”

“Alright… I have no way to defeat you so I’ll just give you my stuff… ahh this sucks…”

I undressed and was left only in my underwear. I gave everything else to her.

“Now, I’m sorry but having a witness know about my undercover work will be troubling so don’t struggle and let me get rid of you quickly and painlessly.”

“Oh… not this shit again... “

She started walking up to me and all I could do was to use the basic skill “observe”. Yup, she’s level 24. There’s no escaping her now…

“Why am I so unlucky… ?”

That was the second time I was falling from getting stabbed already. It was getting old.

My vision got darker and darker until finally I lost consciousness.

Suddenly, a window popped up.

“You have died.”

“Well, no shit Sherlock ! Thanks for pointing that out captain obvious, the bloody knife in my heart wasn’t already a dead give-away, you know !”

“Respawn ?”

Oh yeah I forgot. My stats did mention I had 2 spare lives. But then again did I really want to go back to this world ? Meh… but hey nothing can be worse than staying in a dark void without being able to do anything forever.

“Yes, respawn.”

At least I’d respawn back to full health and within the safety of the town… that way I could make an easy new sta-

“You have not yet visited a church. Your body will be randomly spawned within a small radius distance from where you last died.”

Sigh.. of course it could not be that easy… Well with a bit of luck, that lying bitch should be gone by now.

I finally managed to respawn the very same way I had appeared in the royal room. However, I still did not recover the clothes stolen from me by the bitch.

Suddenly, another window popped up.

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“Durability of your underwear : -10.”

“Oh… no…”

“Hero underwear, current durability : 0/15."

Straight after reading that message, my underwear literally imploded.

And so the so-called “hero” was left butt-naked in the wild plains around the starting town…

***

As I was walking in a circle, dejected and unsure of what to do next, I remembered the old man’s advice “beware of flat chests”. And Cyath did indeed lack breasts. What a fool I was.

To be honest, at this point in time, I really felt like crying. Nothing had gone my way ever since I had been reincarnated and I was getting fed up about it.

I no longer had any clothes, money or weapons so fighting monsters was nothing but a distant idea. So how was I going to make money now ?

I tried to remember how one could make easy money in my old JRPGs. After all this world was so similar to one of these that it might be worth trying anything that I could do to get richer in those games.

Aside from selling loot, fighting monsters and find treasure chests, the one thing that came into my mind was… entering NPCs’ houses and breaking stuff to find items and money in them !

But… realistically speaking there was no way even the hero would be allowed to that… right ?

Well, it’s not I had anything left to lose anyway…

I headed towards the town and managed to make it past the gates, despite the guard’s judgemental stare due to me being naked.

I entered the first house I could find and found a vase. I threw it on the floor and broke it. But it was empty.

“Figures… after all, this is not a game, this is real life…”

I was about to leave the empty house when an old man popped out from the kitchen. Shit, was he going to call the guards !? Was I going to get arrested !?

But as I looked at his face, I recognised him. It was the perverted old man from earlier.

“I see you ignored my advice heh… Luckily you had an extra life.”

“I didn’t ignore your advice, it was just stupidly vague, you old geezer !”

“Ah was it now ? I thought since you come from a world that has games that features stuff like puzzles and cryptic messages, you’d be used to it.”

“There’s no way I - Wait a second, how do you know all that stuff ? You knew I was reincarnated too… just who the hell are you ?”

“Intrigued ? Well you just said you didn’t like riddles so I won’t beat around the bush, fufufu. My name is the great mage Elzebor and I am actually a stunningly sexy hot babe. This body of mine is just an illusion.”

“What, really !?”

“No, but you wish, heh ? Look who’s perverted now, hahaha.”

“Pfff, spare me please. So, why do you keep randomly popping up to give me advice ?”

“Truth to be told, I’m part of the reason you got reincarnated. Unfortunately, I’m afraid this is not the most secure place to discuss these matters. But know that I am greatly interested in you and what you can accomplish, young hero.”

“Accomplish huh… I don’t think I can accomplish anything in this state…”

“I can help you fixing that. But if you want me to help you, you’ll have to show me you’re worth my time. To do so, you’ll have to find me there.”

The old man took out a map and showed me a location. It was a cavern not too far from the town I was currently in.

“There are a few monsters on the way to this cavern. If you manage to make your way there, I’ll give you my assistance, hero.”

“Sigh… it’s not like I have anything to lose anyway. But you can see how I’m naked, broke and without a weapon. How do you expect me to protect myself against monsters ?”

“Your stats even as a level 1 are pretty terrible. I don’t think you could defeat the monsters in the plains by yourself, even with a weapon. So you’ll have to rely on your “Reincarnated buff”.”

“Oh yeah, I had that… but it doesn’t mention what it does.”

“The fact that you’re reincarnated allowed you to create your character right ? The reincarnated buff allowed you to open up some kind of “cheat console” that can help you… change a few things. To do so, just shout Cheat console - on ! and you’ll be able to access it. Now then, that’s more than enough advice. I’ll be waiting for you, young hero !”

Saying that, the geezer disappeared in a smoke explosion. Only to reappear a few seconds later.

“Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you -”

“You’re back !”

“Yes, listen. This world isn’t exactly the same as your games, I’m sure you’ve figured that out. So I’m not going to act like an NPC and wait for you forever in this cavern. Get there before tomorrow or else I’ll be bored and leave.”

“Oh yeah, sure !”

“Alright, until we meet again, then.”

Then he vanished again, for good this time.

I was still unsure of whether the old man was worth my trust, seeing how I had been betrayed so many times already. But it’s not like I had any other opportunity right now.