Chapter 1 - The king is an asshole
My name is James Smith, a 23 years old british otaku. As usual, I was on my way home from the convenience store after buying my favourite food for dinner: quick-to-make burritos.
It was dark out there but I was not afraid. I knew a little bit of self-defense and no one would dare attack someone like me who had a tall build and scary face.
Or so I thought until a man walking behind me stopped me and tried to pickpocket me.
“Gimme all your money immediately if you don’t wanna suffer !”
Unlike any normal person, I did the stupid thing to do and tried to resist. I mean, I worked hard for this money so why would this random dude get it ?
“Or what ? What are you gonna do bitch ? Stab me ?”
The mugger took out a knife and stabbed me. Shit.
As I was falling on the ground and my vision was getting darker and darker I started regretting my action. Looks like I wouldn’t get to listen to my favourite Cocaloid songs while eating a burrito tonight.
I never woke up after that. All I know is that my consciousness was stuck in an endless pitch black void without any sound or light.
Is that what it feels like to be dead ? That sucks. I didn’t have an amazing life but still I was happy with myself.
So… what’s next ? Being sent to Heaven ? Hell maybe ? Was my soul going to disappear ? Or stay here forever ? Or maybe reincarnation ? That would be cool. Please don’t turn me into a spider if that happens; I hate spiders.
***
After what felt like an eternity, something finally happened. A bright light surrounded my consciousness and suddenly I was able to hear, feel and see again. Looks like I was reincarnated, just like in these light novels and anime.
Now as a fully fledged otaku, I already had a plan in case something like that ever happened to me. You see, it’s all good to be reincarnated but to waste that chance by being clueless is simply stupid.
There are a few things to assess first. What had I been reincarnated into : I couldn’t see anything around me except light so I guessed my reincarnation process wasn’t fully completed. Maybe I needed to fulfill a few more criterias first ?
Suddenly, a message popped up in front of me.
“Oh I see, this must be one of those reincarnations with RPG-like elements ! Nice !”
I was feeling more and more excited about this.
Ok let’s do this carefully. If this is some kind of character-creation process, then I want to be as cool as possible.
The message was displaying a keyboard with what I assessed to be letters although it was the first time I had seen them. Somehow though it felt like I knew how to read them.
“Reincarnation process step 1: Name selection. CHOOSEYOURNAME_”
It looks like I was able to choose a name for myself. CHOOSEYOURNAME was the default name displayed so I was going to need to locate the “Backspace” button to delete that and overwrite it with my own name. However, I had no knowledge of what kind of world I was going to be born into so choosing a fitting name was kind of hard. I was also still a bit cautious around the unknown alphabet so I decided to use the button in between the “Enter” button and the “Backspace” one.
I had seen multiple games like that before and I was almost 100% sure that it was a “Randomize” button. Sure I didn’t get to actually choose but at least I was sure it would be somewhat appropriate.
I clicked the button and waited. Soon enough, the message changed.
“Step 1 successfully skipped. Your new name will be CHOOSEYOURNAME.”
“WHAT THE FUCK !? Could it be it was a “Skip” button instead of a “Randomize” one ? What the hell kind of RPG has that in its built-in keyboard !? Shit… now it looks like I’m stuck with that stupid name !”
As I was already mortified by my stupid mistake, a second window popped up.
“Reincarnation process step 2 : Race selection.”
Alright, no more mistake. There were pictures associated with the different choices so I couldn’t mess up there. There were the Elf race, Human race, Orc race, Dwarf race and Demon race.
Although I was tempted to make myself a Demon - who looked like dark skinned humans with horns and wings - I had to play it safe here. I picked the human option and the window closed itself.
“Reincarnation process final step : Auto-scanning of your statistics.”
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“Process complete. Displaying your new statistics.”
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CHOOSEYOURNAME, Unspecified class.
Reincarnated buff - active.
Human
Level 1
HP: 10/10
MANA: 12/12
INTELLIGENCE : 29
STRENGTH : 25
CHARM : 11
LUCK : 2
LIVES REMAINING : 2
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I was given a brief time to analyze my stats. Although that was kind of useless since I could not compare these values to anything yet so I did not know whether they were good or bad. I was guessing however that since it showed my level as “Level 1”, there was potential for growth. One thing I noticed though is that I had a “Reincarnated buff” and two remaining lives. Did that make me overpowered by any chance ? I really hoped so. Being OP is badass.
Soon after, I “spawned” into a room with some typical RPG hero clothes on. In fact, they looked very much like the ones the hero from Dragon Next 6 was wearing in the game I bought the other day.
My gamer instinct pretty much made me understand immediately I was going to be the generic hero fighting the demon army or something like that.
I looked around me and noticed some human nobles, as well as people who I concluded were the king and two princesses. The king was an old man with a white beard and broad shoulders. One of the princesses was a blonde while the other one had silver hair. Both of them were really beautiful and had long straight hair with a diadem on their head. The two sisters both also had very defined curves that were very much to my liking. They were all wearing very refined clothes.
Hopefully I’d get to bang them after I complete the main quest.
The king stood up when he saw me and started speaking first.
“Welcome to the world of Arkmandia, young hero ! I’m sure you must be confused but I have to urge you, for the world is in peril. A war between the Human race and the Demon race has ravaged our countries for far too long. We finally decided it was time to call upon a hero from another world to help us. Do you understand so far, young hero ?”
“Yeah, yeah I get it. There’s a big bad demon lord and you want me to defeat him to bring back peace to the kingdom. Easy peasy.”
“Your way of talking is a bit weird but I trust in your ability, seeing on how fast you understand the circumstances. By the way, these are my two daughters, Limia and Esmeralda.”
Esmeralda was the blonde and Limia was the white haired one. I’d remember that.
“Alright, just tell me where he is and I’ll go kill that Demon Lord for you. I of course expect fame and wealth after that.”
The king looked surprised after hearing me say that.
“Haha, hero what a fine joker you are. Since you’re so quick on the uptake you obviously must have noticed that you were a mere level 1. The Demon Lord on the other hand is the only living being to have reached level 100 so you’ll have to slay countless monsters to reach that level. Of course, you’ll start with slimes. My daughters can show you the ropes if need be.”
“Ah… I guessed it would be that way. Grinding is omnipresent in RPGs isn’t it ? But yes please I’d be more than happy to have your daughters teach me !”
“Alright, now before anything else, I would like to know your name hero. What is it ?”
Hearing the king ask for my name suddenly made me uncomfortable. But there was no way around it. If I’m lucky, maybe it won’t even sound stupid to the people of this world ?
“Yes, my name is CHOOSEYOURNAME. I’m glad to serve you, my lord.”
The king looked at me with a straight face. Then he looked at his daughters. Then right back at me again. Then he bursted out in laughter.
“HAHAHAHAHA, Ah.. ah.. I’m sorry… I shouldn’t be laughing at the one I’m asking for help… but seriously ? That’s your name ? Hahahaha… how stupid would it sound if it was to be passed down in the legends ? The Human race got saved by CHOOSEYOURNAME ? Hahahaha !”
“...”
The daughter called Esmeralda seemed to notice my embarrassment and she turned towards her father.
“Father please… let us not upset the man we have been through so much trouble to summon.”
The king looked like he managed to recover his composure upon hearing that.
“Yes, you’re right. Haha… my apologies, hero… hero… HERO CHOOSEYOURNAME HAHAHAHAHA I’M DYING HAHAHAHAHA !”
“That’s it, I’m done with your bullshit. I’m out !”
“No come back, hero hahaha ! We need you !”
Feeling exasperated, I stormed out of what turned out to be the Kingdom’s castle.
Unfortunately, my tragic days as the hero were only starting.