Chapter 104

The Reality of a Hero

At the courtyard of the place where Connie and her party were housed, Akula was sunbathing while singing a song. It was a song about the bravery of her people. A song that had been handed throughout the century through word of mouth.

At a certain point, her voice rose in volume and pitch that it was closer to a wail. She clamped her ears with both hands as her wail undulated and vibrated, like the sound of ancient war cries ringing over the plains.

Her eyes were closed as she tried to inundate herself with the song. But at the climax of it, she suddenly stopped. The echo of her voice still lingers in the wind.

“Beautiful.”

Akula turned to see Connie appearing from a corner. She was sitting on a strange wheeled contraption that was being pushed by Martell.

“Forgive me for not clapping. I’m not equipped to handle such a thing currently,” she moved slightly her right splinted arm. “How is your body holding up?” She asked as she gestured to Martell.

“It should be my question to you. Humans are weaker than Centaurs.”

“Can’t argue with you about that,” she said with a small laugh.

She noticed the Centaur looking at the wooden wheelchair she was sitting on. “Convenient, isn’t it? I’ve never been on one of these before. Allenca sent it over just this morning.”

“The Maiden of Water seemed very supportive of you.”

“She has her own reasons, I suppose. Never mind that. I haven’t gotten my answer, Akula.”

“...I’m not back at full strength. But I’ll manage.”

“Zalkhin Altanghazar was bedridden for a while,” Martell said helpfully.

“I am sorry,” Connie bowed slightly. “I’ve heard from Illumca what you did. I’m sorry that you had to endure such a painful experience. And now you even got implicated with my matter.”

Akula shook her head, her delicate veil moved gracefully as she did. “No. Compared to being humiliated by Kurosaki Yuuji, it was nothing. I simply did what I thought was right at that time.”

“And even then, I owe you much more than that. As a Tonsulde, and as a woman,” she let out a small sigh.

“Haha, you owe me nothing,” Connie laughed. “I consider you as a friend. And there is no such thing as owing between friends. Or do you not consider me one?”

“No! Of course not! It’s my pleasure to be friends with someone as strong and as kind as you.”

“Well, I’m not sure about kind…” Connie trailed off, then continued. “So, as a friend. Tell me,” Connie leaned to the side as she nodded at the Centaur. “If it wasn’t because of being made to suffer the indignity of House Arrest…What got you so down then?”

“I – I’m fine, really!”

Connie and Martell looked at each other for a brief second and then she shrugged slowly as her shoulder still felt a tinge of pain when she did so. “I may still be blind to the enigma that is women, but you are such a bright person that it’s easy to see when you are brooding.”

“I’ve just been...thinking a lot…lately. With me being unable to exert much strength due to the aftereffect of using Irrimchur, I had too much free time.”

“Ah…” Connie leaned back. “What were you thinking about?”

“About myself. About the Heroes. About being a Tonsulde. And…my dream,” she said, arms folded under her bountiful bosom.

“You remember that I am here to offer my services to the Hero, right? I thought…that I understand about them. I grew up listening to the stories my nanny told me, learned the songs and dances that praised the Heroes of yore. So, I came here, dreaming of the Heroes that I will serve. Heroes like in the stories.”

“And…?”

“I…don't know what I feel…”

The strong and courageous Centaur now looked fragile and vulnerable. A hint of tear glazed the edge of her beautiful brown eyes.

Seeing this, Connie glanced briefly at Martell, who was confused by the sudden action.

“Martell, can you help Illumca with her training?”

“Eh? O-oh. Okay, yeah. Excuse me then,” Martell hurriedly said and left the courtyard.

Now that the two were alone, Connie asked again. This time, she went straight to the point.

“Were you disappointed when you met the Heroes of this generation?”

“Disappointed?” Her eyes fell downcast when she pondered the question.

“Khikhikhi,” she laughed derisively as she shook her head. “It was more than that. It felt like my dream had shattered.”

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Ever since she was little, she had dreamed of serving a Hero. She spent nights in the plains under the stars, watching the bonfire burned hot as the adults danced the old dance and the elders wailed ancient songs. Their wailsongs filled the vast empty plains with the images of their Hero fighting against Demons and monsters, defeating invaders, and conquering their enemies.

Her tribe had no concept of writings, but they had scrolls of animal leathers. Ancient and precious artifacts where paintings of the feats and adventures of their Heroes were drawn. She would often sneak into the elders’ tent and coaxed them to show her the scrolls. She could watch them for hours and imagined herself inside the scrolls, going into adventures with those Heroes.

And yet that dream had been dashed into nothing. Crushed. Broken.

Within the short time that she arrived in the Stone City, she met the Hero of AL-Khemiya. The kind but cowardly Kim Sooyoung.

She went to the ball and met Akira Sakagami. She did not have any impression of the Hero of Calendia. To her he was just a teenager ignorant of the world, rough and unpolished. And before him was…Kurosaki Yuuji.,

Even after seeing the frigid corpse of Yuuji Kurosaki on the way back to Courandhel, she could not help but shudder at the memory of his hands touching her body against her will. To be so helpless in the face of the Hero’s Charm Gaze. It disgusted her; repulsed her.

Seeing her nails digging into her skin, Connie moved her left arm to touch her. Her finger barely brushing against her. The simple action caused Akula to feel a jolt and she realized what she was doing.

“How pathetic,” she said weakly. “For a Tonsulde to be so weak...my father would be disappointed.”

“It was not your fault.”

“It’s still my own weakness that made me fall under the Charm Gaze.”

“…” It hurt her to see someone bright like Akula fall so deeply into the chasm of self-pity. But she did not know what to say. Words of consolation were not something she was good at. Then, Connie thought of something.

“Akula. You say that of the Heroes you met, none of them are worthy of your service. But to the people of each of the respective Kingdoms, they are their Heroes.”

“So, I want to ask you this…what is a Hero to you, Akula? What do you want the Heroes to be like?”

“To me, a Hero is just and brave. A model of righteousness in a world mired in injustice. Someone who would fight injustice without ever wavering.”

Connie laughed at this rather innocent view. “Hahah! That’s a very textbook example of a Hero. Like the character of a bedtime story told to young children.”

The blonde-haired girl’s expression suddenly became serious. “If you come here expecting to meet someone with those qualities, then you will never find them,” she looked at her straight in the eyes.

Connie finally had a grasp in Akula’s understanding of a Hero. The term itself in this situation is essentially meaningless. Here, a Hero is someone summoned from another world to help in vanquishing the demons. Doesn’t matter if they are evil, debauched, or good. They are all Heroes.

“Akula, what you want here is not a Hero as we understood them to be. But an ideal. Those Heroes you mentioned in the stories, they were not Heroes because they were summoned. They were Heroes because they are an idea. An idea that has been polished and told again and again until they became an ideal.”

Confusion ruled Akula’s head. Her face was now showing doubt even under that veil.

“But an ideal is something unreachable. You forgot. The Heroes are humans too,” Connie was reminded of what Sergio said during their fight. “They have their wants, their dreams, and their own ambitions too. Yes…even their own doubts.”

“A Hero should be free of doubt!”

“Haah…picture this,” Connie spoke with slight exasperation. “A woman who lost her husband in a war resorted to sell herself to unknown men to feed her starving baby. Is this infidelity? A man kills the wife and daughter of the man who killed his family. Is this justice?”

“That’s not - ! You are mocking me!”

“This is not me mocking you. This is me showing you reality.”

“I thought you are better than this, Connie! I thought you were a friend!!” she cried out, her breathing clearly agitated.

“I am your friend, so I am telling you this,” Connie said calmly. “You cannot find what does not exist. Instead…why not become a Hero instead? Instead of serving the so-called Chosen One, why not become the one who choose?”

“Who said that you have to be blessed by the Goddess to become a Hero? If that is your criteria of a Hero, then Kurosaki Yuuji is a Hero!! Is that what you want your ideal to be? Is that kind of person fit to be your Ezenu?”

It was biting. It was cruel. It was a denial of her dream.

“NO!!” the Centaur roared as she lunged forward and knocked Connie off her wheelchair, her prowess as a Centaur was evident in the pain she caused Connie as she grasped her tiny shoulders and pressed her onto the ground. “NO…! I can’t…become one!”

“Why not?” she said, enduring the pain of the Centaur’s grip.

“Look at me!” Akula removed her veil and pulled the side of her lip up with her finger. Under her veil, she had rows of large teeth like a shark’s. “Look at these teeth! Look at me! My body is riddled with scars and my teeth resembled a monster’s! One look at me and people will think of me as a monster!”

“…and?” Connie gazed at her without a reaction to her little outburst. “Does it matter what they think?”

“What?”

“Is the ideal Hero in that head of yours something so fragile and weak that the view of others would weaken his – no – your resolve?!”

“I – I…”

“Do not reduce yourself into something you are not,” she stated firmly. “You are no monster. There are many who wore the mask of goodwill while inside they are irredeemable monsters. And you are not one of them.”

“If you are talking about looks alone...then I am more of a monster than you,” Connie smiled warmly. “You have shown me your doubt, your secret. So, I’ll answer that trust.”

A crack appeared on both her cheeks and she opened her mouth. Her eyes turned serpentine red along with her hair. Her tongue slithered in the air, lapping at Akula’s face.

Akula’s face was frozen in surprise. She slowly and gingerly released her right hand and caressed the edges of the opened cheek and felt the cold wetness of Connie’s saliva. It was not an illusion. It was real.

“Am I a monster, Akula?” Connie asked when Akula’s emotion had settled.

“No - ! No, you aren’t -! You are a good person!”

She helped her even though it would make her enemies with a Hero, and even dared to avenge the wrongs that had been done to her companion without even caring if the other party was a Hero.

If upholding justice is not the mark of a Hero regardless of the hardship that one will have to endure, then what is?

“Good person? You are far off the mark there. I am just true to my Dao. To my heart. As long as you are true to your heart, screw what others think!” she then took a deep breath and said. “Also, can you get off me? You are quite heavy.”

Seeing Connie wince, Akula realized what she was doing and quickly released her. She helped her up and put her back on the wheelchair.

“I’m sorry. I forgot myself!”

“Don’t worry. You are angry because it meant something to you. No one can fault you for that,” she said. She gazed at Akula’s face and smiled. “I like you better this way. Now that we’ve bared everything to each other, you should stop holding back.”

“Holding back? H-how did you know?”

“…You are not really good at being a liar, are you?”

Just then, they heard someone coming over.

“Mistress!” Martell shouted as he ran over to her side. “Someone from the castle is looking for you.”

“Looks like they have decided on the date of the trial. Are you coming, Akula?”

“I still need some time to think,”

Connie looked her face, now refreshed and somehow tranquil. Then gave her a wave. “Take all the time you need.”