No foe was ever repelled by giving up!

Neither did any army win by never retreating.

- Found on the wall of a Falntyri National Army bathroom.

===

"…please stay inside your homes, and await further instructions…"

"Thunder round the mountains, there's a storm to come soon…" Hamari quietly half-chants half-sings the old folk song. The radio fades to static briefly as another intercepted missile vaporizes in the baleful light of a nuclear blast.

All of us wear fighting goggles now. Nobody wants to be the next guy to lose his or her eyes to that shit… Even if they fucking suck to wear.

Our group sits in a small business tower, a dozen floors or so, the other entrances barred and the front door armed with mines ready to be activated at the touch of a lever.

A dozen other groups like ours reside below; nobody is dumb enough to go above seven and risk getting squashed by building shrapnel if an a-bomb blows too close.

Two days ago, a Federated division ran into Commonwealth forces, and now they're fighting way northwest of us. The way I hear it, we're either winning or losing.

To protect this city, the Steward stood up our little band of misfits among others, while quietly starting to evacuate the elderly, sick, and young… Which all happen to be his friend groups. Uptown is nearly empty now, all the rich people are running off first. 'Maybe we should've been protecting the city from him. What, we going to skeet shoot an A-bomb?'

Half of us don't have proper guns, just hunting rifles and shotguns. They opened the Reserve armory and were handing out machine guns like candy, but we have barely any antitank weapons and practically no way of shooting down aircraft ourselves, so we're stuck hoping the AA batteries do their job.

Maliai finishes field stripping her rifle again, the clip clacking in with a solid thunk. "Heard they're bringing up another couple line companies. Think any are comin for us?"

"Big fuckin whoop. There's zero chance of them in the next week. We're on our own, sunshine." I'd honestly describe Amdeyai as the bastard offspring of a surfer and weightlifter. I've known her since middle school and she's been the same ever since.

Now instead of folding paper airplanes and throwing them to snack people in the back of the head, she loads a grenade launcher and… Well, she might kill someone with it.

We're all militia now.

I don't really think of myself as a patriot, waving the grays and reds, all that. I mean, fuck, most… Most of them probably died in the first month. With an internal grimace I take out a piece of gum from my pocket, chewing on it.

The radio crackles.

"-as always dear viewers, remember to stay classy, stay sassy. Now, without any more bullshit, here's Avyysi with the nightly weather report."

I blink, looking over. "Isn't that the station from about a town west?"

"What?" Hamari clicks it to another station.

"And tonight, for five HUNDRED LOT, this brand, new, llLUXURY convertible can be yours-"

"You think you can pick something else?" Someone else in the room calls over, and I watch Hamari fiddle with the knob further-

Gunshots come from behind us, a little tinny from distance but reverberating from echoes. Suddenly as if by some unknown signal, everyone's got a gun in their hands. I swallow, and take up the same pose, aiming out the doorway of our suddenly very vulnerable little room. "That wasn't the radio."

"No, you fuckwad. Just a little static, that happens to sound like a rifle." Amdeyai's knuckles are white on her gun, body tense-

"...alright. Hamari, get me floor five, let's... Let's check this shit out."

"Right." Before anyone can say anything else, it's like someone unpaused a war film as the building thunders with gunfire and explosions.

THUMP! BANGBANGBANGBANG THUMP!

"Fuck! Who the hell is in the building?!"

Hamari snatches up the microphone. "Floor five, floor five, this is floor six, REPORT!"

"Some assholes are in here! Some kinda psycho gang or some shit, they pulled out guns-AUGH!"

The gunfire continues.

My rifle feels heavy, all of a sudden. I glance down, wondering if for some reason it's transformed into lead, and then I glance up and see Amdeyai next to the door. 'When did she move?'

It swings open, and Maliai follows her. Slowly, and then running, I dash outside, gun up-

BANGBANGBANGBANG! The rifle fire is deafening in this hallway, mixing with barely audible screams. Downstairs, I hear someone cry out, outside a defiant shout cut off in choking gasps-

'Shit shit shit, get out there!' I breathe in, and dash outside, leveling my shotgun, turning back my ears in anticipation of it's thunder-

"EAT IT PUNK!" A shout from downstairs is followed by an explosion and a wave of pressure rolling up, shoving at me like a hand made of air. Somewhere in all of this my shotgun goes off and wide, blowing half a dozen holes into the wall vaguely around my target. I don't remember pulling the trigger.

I duck back into the room just as something hisses by my head, bullets blowing apart bits of drywall behind me. My ears are ringing, and I take a shaky breath before I realize I'm bleeding from the shoulder. "...oh shit."

The edge of my vision darkens as I fumble for gauze, fingers turning to lead for some reason. Still, I manage to tie a pad around it and pick up my gun again, before there's a very long burst of nearby gunfire and then-

BLAM!

Dust comes off the roof at the explosion, the floor shuddering with the blast. For a second I wonder if the building's going to collapse or something, but then it passes with some creaks and a few bits of dust dripping off the ceiling. 'Don't like that. I'm... Yeah. I'm not gonna live in a tower in the future.'

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"AMDEYAI!" I hear another stunningly loud burst of gunfire, and then Hamari comes in dragging her by the back of her flak vest. One hand holds out her rifle, another hand is pressed to her neck in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Her hand is already soaked to the sleeve in crimson.

"Oh fuck-" I set down my gun and make to help, fumbling for the medical kit, unsealing a roll of gauze-

THUMP! The world suddenly sounds like it's all far away...

'What... what was I doing? Oh. Amdeyai. Neck. Gauze. She's hurt. I should try and fix her?' Almost like I'm in a dream, my hands bandage the wound, white fabric instantly stained red. She sighs, and then the hand drops away, rifle clacking on the floor as it skitters away a little distance.

I stare.

The fight fades into background noise.

===

Suddenly, someone's talking to me. A hand's on my shoulder. I don't...

"...one. Hey, you there?"

If it was weird being in the trance, coming out of it was downright painful. For a moment the effect intensifies and then everything comes rushing in, a sudden wave of noise and light and smells-

"Gah! I-" The next thing I know my head hurts and I'm sitting against the wall.

"-it, man, you're really outta it huh?! Here, hold still." Careful hands take my head and I can't suppress a shudder when one of them brushes my still raw shoulder. It withdraws quickly.

"Right, c'mon. You only got one toe in the grave right now, don't slip any further." An arm comes under my good shoulder and I'm helped up, carefully. I manage a glance over at the one picking me up and I find a paramedic's uniform. Just behind her is a soldier, face hidden behind goggles and a hankerchief.

"Mhmm... What... What happened?"

It's quieter for a second as she doesn't respond. Eventually she clears her throat. "Let's just work on getting to the ambulance right now okay? One thing at a time?"

Voices and sound are quiet, now that I have a moment to get used to them. Might be hearing loss. Probably hearing loss. Important question for later, probably. More important though... 'The others. What happened?'

"Alright, now be careful okay? We're going down the stairs. Tell me if you feel off for any reason, got it?" I murmur my assent as she helps me down.

"Where's my floor...?" Our boots make an irregular staccato on the steps.

"Your flo-oh. Uhm. Right, so they're being treated and evacuated outside. They'll be waiting, anyways."

'Evacuated?!' Something on my face showed worry because she hastens to add on.

"Only because you all set off all those explosions in here. Don't worry, it's a safety thing." Something to her face doesn't make me believe her. That and the masks they're fitting onto everyone.

===

I fight my body the entire way down. The paramedic doesn't have painkillers on her and they don't have any to spare anyways, but she does give me something to bite down on instead of my tongue. 'At least it's something.'

My legs want to both give out and stiffen at the same time, my ears ring here and there, and one of my shoulders just *breathes hate* the second anything touches it. Or flexes it. Or even looks at it funny.

"...are you crying?" I slowly remove the padded stick, trying not to drop it.

"...y-yeah. Wh-why? Got... Gotta problem with that?"

'Tir, this fucking staircase has to end sometime right?!' I am seriously considering finding a gun and taking out my anger on the stairs at this rate. Glossy marble and wooden railings have no right to be... Ugh. Another dulling shiver of pain throws my thoughts about, and the paramedic glances to me in concern.

"I-I'm f... fine. R-really-hgkh!"

"..."

She gives me a knowing look, and adjusts her position. Something twinges but my new pose is a bit more comfortable so I'm counting it as a win. I put the stick back in though. After what feels like hours, we finally exit torment and... "Oh."

Outside the building is a mess of vehicles and workers. Everyone is in protective anti-radiation gear, and a wide circle has been cleared out in the parking lot around the tower. I recognize the modified firefighting trucks of the decontamination unit, currently doing nothing, alongside several squads of soldiers. "What the fuck...?"

"..." The paramedic remains silent.

*'Great. Okay. This is going to hurt but I want answers more than I want to be pain free-'* With a grunt, I pull us to a stop for a moment, the world briefly going hazy as I carefully suppress a scream.

She stops, a question dancing somewhere in the back of her throat as I lock eyes with her. "Why, are we all wearing masks? Where, the shit, are my friends-"

The paramedic promptly cuts me off, her face twisting into a snarl. "Can you shut up for FIVE FUCKING SECONDS?!"

...

We stand there, the paramedic panting, eyes wide behind her mask's lenses, sirens screaming in the background as the dull chatter of distant talking rolls around us.

"...I-I-I..."

"No, I'm sorry. That... That was over the line. I... Look, I'll answer your questions when we're in the ambulance okay?" I hesitantly pat her on the back, as we continue walking.

===

It's not that long of a walk to the ambulance, actually. A dozen of them are waiting in a nearby lot, some arriving while others' doors close and leave.

"C'mon. In you go."

They put me on a stretcher, and the doors close. We start off along the road, driving for a while as two paramedics fuss over me. For some reason I'm having a hard time catching everything they're saying...

"...lost a fuck ton..."

"...id all I could but I don't think he even realized..."

"Circle below, where's..."

There's a small pain in my arm, and then when I go to move it, it's been strapped down. "Wha..."

"You're going to be alright kid. Hold still, and just focus on staying awake, okay? You like jokes?" The voice is deeper, scratchy. I wonder if she smokes? I can't smell cigars or anything...

Time passes. I don't know how much.

At some point, things just start to click. "Oh, fffuck everything hurts."

"Welcome back kiddo. You feeling better huh?" I use my nonbound arm to vaguely flail in the voice' direction. A hand carefully but firmly pushes it back down.

"Right... Ambulance... Weren't you going to give me an explanation...?"

"...uh, well, you see..." I blink against the light and slowly turn my head to look at the more familiar voice.

"What?"

She sighs, and looks me in the eyes. "That was a special forces team. They might've been armed with backpack bombs, either nerve gas or fission."

"What...?" My head spins a little, but she keeps going.

"There were probably more than one. Your group probably killed at least one but it's hard to tell. They got away and police are looking, but we don't know if we'll find them." I feel something poke into my other arm and a nice numbness spreads out from it.

"...well..."

I think about this a little. Then a little more.

Eventually I settle for something vaguely okay. "...that's a lot to take in."

There's a half-movement from one of her ears as she tries to keep her face neutral. 'Is she really about to laugh? I sounded that stupid, huh...?'

Lightning strikes beside us, and the ambulance seems to lift off it's wheels.

===