You know the worst thing about writing nonsense? It's when it comes true, it stops being nonsense and it starts making no sense.

If you're reading this, welcome to my diary, the only thing that does and will make sense from now on; everything you read will be strange to describe the least, a suspension of sanity to describe the most. You may believe you're going insane reading this...ironically I have tested it and yes it has driven three people insane, so good luck.

The story starts in the past. I like the past tense, this whole chapter will be in the past tense because the past was a better time. Or at least a less distressing one.

As I stated the story starts at the morning of June 32nd 2018 and it began at a pub down in depths of Devon with me already six brandy's deep slouching on a barstool trying to scribble the epilogue words in another random notebook. Here you can have the last line (transcribed from my drunken scribbles):

'And so summer ended on the 38th day of the middling month, the world with it.'

An innocuous statement, a drunken ramble you could say. Not really an interesting one not going to lie but then again writing fun and raunchy literature isn't exactly done at a bar. 

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I was in one of my moods; stuck with words and unable to get a properly pieced paragraph that evoked emotions out and to cure my literary disease I went drinking...well ok that's a lie I was needing a drink so I went drinking simple as. Mergeniss as per usual gave me a glass of brandy and kept them coming. The only benefit to being in that pub is that Merg knew me and he kept the brandy flowing. He was a good orc, kept the cups clean without spit and everything. 

It is a real shame he got his face blasted off point blank range with an AA-12. Yeah I wasn't expecting that to happen...well truthfully about half n half; it was unexpected that a trio of gangly tree-men kicked down the pub door smoking a leaf and wearing pinstrip suits trillby's included...but their actions of waltzing up to the bar, picking up Merg and demanding to know where Jericho is before blasting off his face when he squeals "I don't know"...that I actually kind of knew was going to happen.

Now how you ask? Turns out I have superpowers. Yeah not a good one either, well could be good if I used it right but it wouldn't be much of a story if I did...or well a disaster. My superpower? Everything I write becomes true...everything

...

..

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Oh my fucking god.

And so the scene is set, and from there we shall begin, I'm thinking present tense, keep you ignoring the quite fucked future. enjoy!