Spoiler :

Okay for the explanation let me get the shameful reasons out of the way first. I admit there have been times that I wasted a lot of time doing useless selfish things like read and play video games...yeah now some of my guilt has been appeased let me tell you the other more reasonable reasons.

Firstly the power outage mentioned was unfortunately not the only power outage...there were two or three others after that one...as well as over twenty internet downs caused by who knows what. During the power outages my laptop ran out of battery and during the internet downs I felt too depressed to get anything done...then got distracted by unreasonable reasons again.

Secondarily to the reasonable and unreasonable reasons were the ones that fell in between, my family kept pulling me out of the basement to do things and I also had several unavoidable appointments.

Anyway...as part of my apology this month there will be more then 2 chapters, that is besides the regular release and the one to make up for the missed last month there will be at least one more probably more chapters...

hopes you can forgives me...

Hidden History

(Wilhelm Dragonsong)

To tell the truth myself taking on an apprentice at that time as well as in such a complex way, nearly out of the blue, and then proceeding to seemingly unnecessarily test them in various ways was not for the shallow and simple reasons I told you about.

Or at least they were far from being the main reasons.

I know that I am being somewhat confusing as well as unstable but the truth be told there really was a reason behind my actions at that time even if I myself didn’t know it or even acknowledge the possibility.

Basically though the me of that time couldn’t not yet even about it, all my actions definitely had motives, that were hidden from myself.

Over a hundred years ago from this time, when I had first found myself in this world…in many ways I guess you could say that I was lost. I didn’t know where I was, but more importantly I didn’t know who I was.

Yes, then and even now, and I had no clue as to why but I couldn’t access the majority of memories of my past, before I woke up alone in a forest naked in everything including history and all alone.

Thankfully I wasn’t rendered to the point of complete infancy, I still had my instincts and some of what could be called habitual or basic knowledge. In other words I knew how to walk and move, though admittingly clumsily. And eating and drinking and such was of course a given.

Though wasn’t much besides that, I only had just bits and pieces here and there of what could be called actual ‘memories’ most of which were of my childhood.

In case you are curious, I looked basically the same as I do now. A person usually from the point of view of others who is though not quite a child doesn’t look like a complete and polished adult either.

Though despite appearances it is my guess that those memories were far from being a ‘recent’ ones, this is because what I feel when I ‘remember’ is not sadness or blurry confusion resulting from being of a very young age but clear headed nostalgia you tend to feel when something took place long ago.

But according to the woman I later came to call master in name if not in truth, for in my opinion in some ways it would be more accurate to think of her relationship with me as foster parent of sorts, or maybe an adopted ‘big’ sister, when she first met me I was more like “An innocent child” then anything close to an adult.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

But I think that my child like state was probably because of the lack of memories then anything to do with my unknown true age. I don’t think I had ever thought of myself as a child.

Strange as it might be to some…I never really thought of myself as an adult either, but though I am unsure of the state of my physical if not mental maturity I have always from the beginning since I was able to understand what was going on around me, have rejected the thought of having others make choices for me or ‘protect’ me in the way one protects a child.

Though to me, these past hundred plus years haven’t seemed that long of a time period of all the many things that happened to me or that I sought out during it, have had a maturing and educational effect on my mind if nothing else.

In regards to magic, I am given another clue to my unknown self as well providing the explanation for why I don’t consider that woman to be my true master, at least in regards to magic.

Magic has always come to me most instinctively, almost naturally. Either I have always been able to use it like that because of some sort of trait of my race, or perhaps at some point in that unknown past I had trained in it to the point like eating and sleeping it had become such an ingrained habit that I didn’t lose it when I lost my memories.

What did I learn from my Master and the academy then? Well to me it seems obvious but just in case let me make things clear. The main thing I sought to learn from both sources was ‘how to fit in around other people’.

It took me only a few years after meeting my Master to learn most of the common languages as well as a decent amount of the rules of the people of this world’s common sense, yet time and time again I was reminded through the results of actions I took as well as the many things that went over my head…that I just didn’t know enough.

In fact even now hundreds of years later I still think I do not know enough.

All of my instincts that so easily let me do magic, fail me when it comes to interacting with people actually my magic is one of the main things that causes a feeling of separation I have always felt.

Basically most of what I am capable of to the people of this world should be impossible. The fact that the group I was a part of would always call me monster, and common sense breaker among other similar titles while they themselves were called worse titles in the same line by the common populace should tell you something.

Luckily being common sense breakers themselves they were more open minded then most. My Master may not have been my teacher in magic but in some ways you could call her my Master in common sense. Though to those who knew her would probably say it was a case of the near sighted leading the blind, nevertheless I do actually owe a great deal to her, she tried her best and I must admit she did have success to some extent.

Also the others in group though quickly giving up in teaching me other things, mainly right after becoming terrified at my extreme clumsiness back then, did teach me in other ways. Vanessa’s Grandfather Ronald for example was usually a most excellent example of what not to do.

All kidding aside I am quite thankful to all of the people in that group for their kind care enabled me to act passably enough as a human of this world (though a weird one) that I was able to enroll in the magic academy no problem and even do well enough in it that I made friends and had enough fun that I decided to continue my stay there as a teacher.