Prologue: The Crypt of the Goblin King

“It was a fade-touched manticore.”

“It was a fuckin’ dragon, mate. Are you mental?!”

“Dragons don’t have tentacles.”

“Them was his wings! Somethin’ wrong with your bloody eyes if you think that was any kind of wyrm!”

They had been going on like that since they entered the crypt. The crypt guardian had not been either dragon or manticore. It was an undead chimera, one that had been blessed with layers of necromantic enchantments. The party had been prepared for powerful undead but that thing had caught them by surprise.

They had been nine. Three paladins, two sorcerers, a pair of Heart-Ripper barbarians from the north- Karnas thought they were twins. Then there was Succulent, the Queen’s own mage and de facto leader of the quest. The thief, Karnas, had the talent scroll that saved the lives of the survivors of the necropolis that had preceded the crypt’s entrance. When they arrived at the massive stone door to the crypt they found it defended by the chimera. Two of the paladins, Prism Champions no less, were immediately killed by a black fireball the thing shot from one of its heads. Getter, a Canid sorcerer, had tried to flee but the monster leapt into the air and smashed him into goo with its goat’s hoof. The twins attacked while Succulent was frozen by some kind of fear ray that the reptilian head shot from its eyes, and Karnas read the scroll to cast Angelic Gate making a portal through the door.. As the monster was occupied devouring the barbarians,  the four adventurers, graverobbers really, slipped through the golden rectangle that appeared before Karnas and passed into it. The surviving paladin, Collum, had to carry the paralyzed Succulent through the gate. In the dank blackness of the crypt they waited for what felt like hours. The sorcerer and the paladin had been bickering. Karnas was rethinking his life decisions.

What a shit show.

“Shut it, both of you,” hissed Succulent. She cast a light and the long dark tunnel lit up as if it were late afternoon, not two in the goddamned morning. “Thief, the crypt is most likely trapped. Draw us a map and see if you can find a safe path to the tomb. And hurry, I don’t think that the chimera can enter but I do not wish to find out.” The Royal Mage Succulent was a high elf woman, close to 300 years old if the rumours were true. She hired the party members after personally vetting them.

 She knew more about Karnas than anyone alive after using some kind of telepathic mind reading ability on him. The thief never would have assented to the violation of his own mind but the money had been too good. Last job good. In fact his hackles had been raised since he met the woman. The oversized pay-day, the secrecy, the fact that she said “perfect” after he told her that he had no living family. Every damn sign pointed to this quest being fucked and his magically enhanced intuition had been screaming at him to run as far as he could away from this whole thing. But here he was.

Karnas had already begun mapping the labyrinthine tunnels that burrowed into the depths. Most seemed to lead to traprooms. His skill at cartography was, of course, magical, and it took him less than a minute to plot a safe path through the tunnels and to what was most likely the tomb they were looking for.

There were traps everywhere.

He could use blood magic to disable most of them. He sliced his upper arm and collected the drops of blood on his blade. Once cast, the spell Sanguine Ghosts, had the ability to fool the traps that detected living creatures into going off. Little blood sprites raced away from Karnas, down into the tunnel, disappearing into the darkness. The sound of traps snapping and pounding rang through the crypt. Hopefully he hadn’t missed any. 

“We’re good, mistress,” Karnas said. His voice a gruff whisper. 

“One last push,” Succulent told the group. The four of them stood, waiting for her orders. “Raste, follow Champion Collum and watch for danger. Karnas, you’ll be behind me.” And then they descended.

The Paladin stomped through the tunnel like an idiot. How he’d ever reached adulthood was a mystery to Karnas. Your bog-standard meatheaded Prism champion. His tactics so far this quest were to stand behind the barbarians and cast the same Holy Bolt spell a few times before hiding behind cover. He’d refused to heal Getter after the goblin attack on the road here and the sorcerer had to use a potion to heal the arrow wound in his thigh. The paladin was simply an unrepentant asshole.

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So it would have been kind of funny to see him get his face eaten off by the undead lizard thing that dropped from a hole in the ceiling, landing right on top of the large man. Lizardfolk Shadow Stalker, Karnas thought as he threw his knife into the monster’s skull. The thing toppled from Collum’s shoulders making a wet slopping sound as it hit the stone floor. The Paladin was screaming, demanding heals. Fuck yourself, Karnas thought. Nobody moved. It didn’t pay to be a pompous shit bag when you were doing a crawl, when you were depending on your allies to save your life. One good turn, deserves another. The fucker had his own Healing Hands skill, “Heal yourself!” Raste said. 

Four hours later and they were almost done. Nobody else had died but not for lack of trying. Raste was a better dungeoneer than Collum but he was still fucking up and putting everyone in danger. His role was to cast detection spells and spy invisible or hidden monsters, but either he wasn’t as good a sorcerer as Succulent had thought or he was outclassed by the undead mobs that populated the crypt. Regardless, by the time we reached the tomb the Royal Mage’s mana was low. She was a powerful caster, no doubt, but she blew through her power supply as if she’d never run out. Behind them the floor was covered in rotten undead blood and gore from various crypt guardians. Her spell, Dust Mites, was horrifying. Little specks of dust that formed clouds and then ground the zombies into sausage. Writing paste was all that was left. Prism’s mercy, they’re still moving. 

“The tomb’s door. Open it,” Succulent demanded. Karnas was already searching for traps on the giant metal door. The woman was getting impatient. The door displayed a relief of Undar, the last of the great Goblin Kings. He was depicted in full boneplate armor and with some kind of knife-like phallus jutting out from his crotch. The king’s eyes were two huge red rubies. That’s the trap, Karnas noted. Anyone who pries out the rubies would unleash a spell. Fireball, most likely. At a high enough level to kill everyone in the hallway. Whatever they buried with the king must be something good. 

He used his lockpick, The Skeleton Key of the Spider’s Concubine. It went in a slot directly on the head of the goblin’s codpiece. The door rumbled and then it opened. The key itself began to glow with a golden radiance. It had just gone from a rare magical item to legendary. That’s ominous, Karnas thought, before he was blinded by the light pouring from within the tomb. Instincts kicked in and he rolled away from the doorway and into the shadows. The others were shielding their eyes, stunned.

It was as if a small sun was being born in front of the graverobbers. The light abated and Karnas stood, knives ready for one more undead ambush, but none came. The tomb was a simple cube of white stone that shone with some enchantment. It was small with barely enough room for two people and the emerald sarcophagus within.

“This is it,” Succulent said. Her voice held a tremor. Her hands were out ready to cast a spell but she didn’t move. “Mother, I will bring you home a mighty gift.”

“I’ll check it,” Karnas said but she cut him off.

“Don’t you touch it! This is your task, Prism Champion. Remove the lid and prise the scroll from the dead king’s hands. It’s there. It has to be,” she was shaking now. It was barely noticeable but Karnas’ eyes missed nothing. “Then hand it to me.”

The Paladin nodded and went in. Raste moved to stand next to Karnas and they watched from beyond the door as Collum lifted the heavy lid of the bejewelled coffin. He whispered to Karnas without looking away from the tomb. “Protection from disease, all the Champions got it, aye? That’s for what she wants him to open the damned lid.” The old sorcerer was wringing his hands. “You know what that is? What we’ve been hunting down here? We’re not supposed to know but I think I do.” Karnas said nothing. His nerves were on fire and it was taking every ounce of strength just to keep calm. “I know what the Queen wants. A lost legendary artifact. Something the progenitors of the elves made. A scroll. And what’s the spell that’s writ on the bloody thing? What’s that great oaf got in his shithooks right this instance? Go on, take a guess, thief.”

“Something worth more than our lives.” 

Karnas wanted to flee but his feet felt heavy. It was like he was in a dream, so close to waking up but still drowning in it, suffocated by it.

A magical shield went up.

Succulent cried out, “Collum! What are you doing?!”

The paladin was holding a scroll in one hand and a wand in the other. He was smiling.

 “Look at you, witch. Your stupid face. Prism’s light, if you could only see yourself!” He laughed like a maniac. Karnas recognized the wand, a wand of Prismatic Protection. It made a flat plane of ethereal armor that floated in the air. That plane had filled the doorway, cutting the others off from entering. “Oh, this is delicious. At least you’ll be able to watch this next part. At least you will see your failures all spread out before you. Many die without knowing, without seeing their fate cast in the bones. But you will witness it! Count yourself fortunate! You will die here knowing exactly what happened! And what is about to come! You’re welcome for that.” He unrolled the scroll and it glowed with a fiery light, a color that Karnas had never seen. He was casting the spell.

“I beg you, Collum. Do not do this.” She dropped to her knees. Her face had gone bone white.

“Beg more, bitch. Grovel as hard as you can, you pathetic worm!”

Succulent screamed and began to rain a storm of magic onto the shield. Streams of white fire and lightning pounded the partly transparent pane. Karnas grabbed Raste by the arm and dragged him down the hallway. 

“Wait,” the old man hissed. “I must watch!” He wrenched himself free and turned to see the final moments of this betrayal. “I’ve gotta see this,” he said and winked at Karnas. “Since we’re gonna die anyway.”

Succulent had finally run out of mana and she fell to the floor. Smoke and the scent of violent sorcery filled the tunnel but dissipated quickly. The shield was gone, so was Collum. 

“Hurm,” Raste spat. He limped over and peered into the coffin of the old goblin king. “Empty.”