"HELLO CAPTAIN UNDYNE-MA'AM!" Martlet flung the door open with her feathers in a mess, momentarily spooking Undyne.
"Uh, hey Martlet, you good? Just here to see how your kids doin, no need to treat me like your boss right now! FUHUHUHU!"
"R-right, I'm sorry but Clover's asleep right now-maybe this could wait a bit-"
"Hey mom? What's with all the shouting?"
Martlet's eye twitched.
"Well, not anymore clearly!" She laughed out loud again and gave Martlet two good claps to the shoulder, both of which almost sent her to the floor.
"I figured I had some time this morning before the guard assembled to swing by, looks like your kid agrees, heh!"
By now, Clover had walked down the stairs. Martlet felt rather powerless to stop this meeting. Really what was she supposed to do? Clover was up and about without issue and Undyne was looking right at him. There really was no excuse here... So the question remained, how exactly could she run damage control...?
"HEY! Kiddo! Are you ready for the most intense morning of your life!?"
"Uh-that might not be the best-"
"BAH! What better way to recover then with SOME PASSION!? Monsters are made of MAGIC, HOPES, and DREAMS!"
"I..." Martlet nervously glanced side to side from Undyne to Clover, the latter of whom was staring at Undyne with that glazed over look in their eyes once again.
Alright, what's the worst that could happen? Not like captain Undyne is going to fight my kid or anything, right?"
"Okay just... Try not to do anything too crazy...?"
"No such thing as TOO crazy." Undyne gave her biggest smile and walked inside, her armor dematerializing as she walked in. Martlet hadn't realized it was magic armor, neat. Though, she noted what exactly Undyne had said. Nothing "too" crazy... That didn't bode very well.
"Alright kid! Are you ready for a dose of Undyne herself!?" Undyne quickly stomped over to Clover, who was at least now looking at her.
"You're... Undyne, captain of The Royal Guard, right?"
"In the flesh kiddo! How's it feel to meet one of your idols for real?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't really remember that much about you. I've had amnesia ever since my accident a few days ago... I mean, I read about the Royal Guard though! They're pretty cool!"
Undyne smiled at Clover's words, but then frowned and looked back at Martlet. "Martlet, is that true?"
"...Yeah, Clover's been getting better over time though! Some things seem to be able to jog their memory, but it's been slow progress."
"Is that so...? ALRIGHT THEN! Here's what we're doing! I know a way to look right into somebody's SOUL!"
Martlet began to pale as she said that. "Look... Look into somebody's SOUL...?"
"YEAH! A window STRAIGHT to who you really ARE! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT IT IS!?"
Martlet continued to stare off into the distance. It seemed like this was it. Undyne would see Clover's SOUL and it would all be over. How could she get them out of here? Would they be fugitives in hiding? Traitors to the crown? She closed her eyes and waited for Undyne to finish her question.
"COOKING!"
"Eh?"
"NOTHING is more passionate than cooking! A monster's true FEELINGS come out in FULL FORCE in the culinary arts! I'll have your kid better by the time I need to leave!"
"I-uhm-sure???" Martlet agreed without any further delay. That was like, a million times better then what she thought Undyne was going to say.
"ALRIGHT! THEN LET'S GET STARTED! We'll make my BEST dish, a fresh plate of SPAGHETTI!"
"Oh-I uh, I don't... Have any noodles..." Martlet mumbled in the face of Undyne's BLAZING passion.
"WHAT!? That WON'T do rookie! GO ON THEN, GO GET SOME! Me and Clover will get everything else ready, HEAR ME!?"
"Y-yes captain!" Martlet nodded fervently, and dashed out of the door.
"ALRIGHT KID, ARE YOU READY!?"
Clover was still staring at Undyne, this sudden excitement had come out of nowhere! He couldn't quite say he was ready but... Something about the energy of this fish resonated with him. "You bet I am."
...
"ALRIGHT! GET READY KID, WE'RE GONNA MAKE THE BEST DAMN SPAGHETTI THIS WORLD'S EVER SEEN! AND IT ALL STARTS WITH THE VEGGIES!"
Clover blinked a few times, was that music he was hearing? He shook his head. Back to the moment!
Undyne flung open the door to the refrigerator, sending a few things flying to the ground. "BAH! WHO EVEN GETS A REFRIGERATOR?! HOTRIGERATORS ARE WHERE IT'S AT! WHATEVER. HEY KID, ARE YOU READY YET!?"
"You bet I am, always ready!"
"GOOD! THEN COME ON!" Undyne within very short order, laid out a cutting board and placed tomatos along it. "SHOW ME YOUR POWER KID! MASH THOSE VEGGIES UNTIL THEY'RE PASTE ON THE WALL!" She raised a fist in the air as she held out a bowl. "Or well, paste in this bowl, BUT YOU GET THE POINT! GO FOR IT!"
With all the might Clover could muster, he raised a fist and sent it careening towards the tomatos! They impacted with a dull thud, lightly squishing the vegetable they'd made contact with.
"HARDER!"
"NGGH! Clover obliged and grunted with the second impact, making a bit more of a impact in it.
"I SAID! HARDER!!!"
"RAGHHHH!"
KABOOM! In an explosion of red, Clover smashed one of the tomatoes spraying its juices against the board.
"AGAIN!!!!!"
BOOM!!! Clover smashed the next tomato with even more power then the first, pulping it to almost nothingness.
"I SAID!!!!! HARDEEEEEEEERRRR!!!!!!!!!"
"ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Tomato sauce went flying every which way, the final tomato utterly annihilated by Clover's blow. It would seem he'd need to take a bath after this.
"...That's fine, we'll just scrape it into the bowl after the stove is heated. NOW! SPEAKING OF THE STOVE!"
Both Undyne's and Clover's gazes snapped in the direction of the stove at once. "WE NEED FIRE JUST AS HOT AS THE PASSION WITHIN OUR SOUL'S KID!!! TURN UP THE HEAT AS FAR AS IT CAN POSSIBLY GO!"
Clover blinked a few times as he reached for the stove, before his hand stopped midair. "i-wait, wait, what? I don't wanna burn down the house..."
"Hah? Don't worry about it kid! Monsters build with PASSION! If this house burnt down from a little FIRE then us monsters wouldn't be MONSTERS! COME ON! TURN IT UUUUUUUUUP!!!"
WITH HIS DOUBTS EVAPORATED BY THE FIRE WITHIN HIS SOUL, CLOVER REACHED FOR THE HANDLE... AND TWISTED IT AS FAR HE COULD!!!
"THAT'S NOT ENOUUUUGH! WE NEED MOOOOOORE!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" SOMEHOW, DESPITE HAVING ALREADY REACHED THE LIMIT OF THE HEAT POSSIBLE WITHIN THIS STOVE, HE TWISTED THE DIAL UP EVEN FURTHER!
THE FIRE REACHED UP, MORE AND MORE, A TORRENT OF FLAME SPOUTING FORTH FROM THE STOVE!
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
THE MUSIC IN THE ROOM SPED UP MORE AND MORE, MATCHING THE FLAMES, CLIMBING HIGHER, AND HIGHER, UNTIL-
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING!?"
...
Undyne smiled nervously as Martlet stared at the room incredulously. She'd turned the stove down... Eventually. With each twist of the dial she grew more and more exasperated. It took eleven full turns to finally turn it off, somehow.
Now she was staring at the tomato sauce splattered everywhere, which included Clover who was tinted red.
"I... I was gone... For TEN MINUTES! And you two almost burned down the house!? Undyne, what were you thinking?!"
The prior fear of Undyne being her superior and well, wanting Clover's soul, probably, was thoroughly extinguished. She was simply too freaked out to care about it.
"Uh, sorry, I never really was that great at cooking. Guess I just got a little bit carried away, heh."
"A LITTLE!?"
Undyne sighed before she frowned. "Alright, I know when to apologize. Martlet, sorry for the trouble. I just can't help but get fired up about stuff like that you know? It's not every day you get the chance to help a kid who's lost their memory. Not exactly the most common issue you know?"
"Captain, I'm sorry but this is really-"
Clover raised a hand slowly, purposefully avoiding eye contact with Martlet.
She sighed and pinched at her own face, but eventually relented. "Yes Clover?"
"Don't... Don't be too angry with them. I'm just as at fault, I went along with it. I could've stopped this all at any time."
"Clover... While I appreciate the honesty, you weren't the adult in the room-"
"Please?"
Martlet sighed, before nodding very slowly. "Fine, but you need to go take a bath And you need to change clothes. AND I'll finish the food myself." She frowned as she said that. "Oh and don't think I didn't miss you not fully preening yourself yesterday mister, I better see those feathers fixed up before you're out of the bathroom!"
Clover's eyes widened at that last bit, but he quickly nodded and turned to walk up the stairs.
"Hah, y'know Martlet you're a whole lot more fierce when it's about your kid-"
"Don't think you're off the hook yet either!"
...
At long last, Martlet had finally tapped into what she would call, being a momma bird. Her own boss was avoiding eye contact, so she figured she had to be doing something right. The upsetting part? She couldn't even revel in it. No, she had to clean up, finish cooking, she'd probably have to go get clothes for Clover... She had to do... Mom stuff.
This really was happening all too fast.
"I really am sorry about the-"
"Look, it's fine, really it is. I appreciate you trying to help Clover out, but for now could you PLEASE just-sit!?"
Undyne sagely did not respond.
Martlet breathed in and out as she got to work cleaning. How had they even done this? Red all over the wall, what, did they take a mallet to the tomatoes!?
She did her best to steady her breathing once again. Getting angry wouldn't solve anything, be reasonable, be the bigger person. Wipe off the walls, wipe down the counter, pour the noodles in (they hadn't even had the noodles in before turning on the stove! Who does that?!) and then turn the stove up to a REASONABLE temperature.
Martlet sighed, it was going to be a bit.
...
Clover wisely followed orders and worked on finishing off the preening well before he was done with the bath. Just to be safe, he went over each and every one of his feathers. It'd end up taking a little bit longer to do it this way, but better safe then sorry. The thought occurred that he hadn't grabbed fresh clothes for after he was done, but surely his mom had him covered there, right? Definitely.
"Not sure if you grabbed clothes, but there's a fresh pair of clothes outside of the door! Come downstairs when you're done!"
Speak of the devil! She didn't sound too angry about him not having done what she'd asked, maybe it wouldn't go horribly wrong? Well... The chances were probably still against him, best to be done as quickly as possible.
Clover redoubled his efforts, and after a solid fifteen minutes, he felt he had done an adequate job of establishing a certain level of cleanliness. He dried himself off, pulled the clothes inside and after a few more minutes, he was good to go!
He just hoped his mom wouldn't be too harsh on him.
...
"Hey, mom? I'm done! I preened myself and everything."
"Okay, lunch... Breakfast?" Martlet paused for a few seconds, before yelling up the stairs again. "Brunch is almost ready!"
"Hurry up kid, only so much spaghetti for all of us! Fuhuhuhu!"
"Coming!"
Almost flying down the stairs came Clover, barely preventing himself from stumbling.
"Here you go." Martlet smiled and handed Clover a plate full of spaghetti. That couldn't be right, where was the disappointed stare? The shouting? He was almost afraid to take the plate, were they going to shove it in his face or something? Wouldn't be the first time.
Except... It totally would? What the hell was he thinking about? Clover rubbed at his temples as he took the plate, what in the world was bothering him like this...? Martlet would never... His mom would... Would... Would never...?
He sat down on the couch next to Undyne, who was now slurping up her own spaghetti.
"Hey, your mom is a pretty good cook! If you learn from her I'm sure you'll be better than me in no time kid... Not exactly a high bar, heh!"
"Thanks, I'd have appreciated it more though if you just let me do it to begin with." Though in truth, she probably wouldn't have had the confidence to do so if she hadn't been forced to step up to begin with.
So, an odd trio sat. A member of the Royal Guard, the Captain of the Royal Guard herself, and also a human unbeknownst to one of the two aforementioned monsters. All united under one common flag, spaghetti. Good spaghetti.
...
Undyne stood up after finishing, she smiled as wide as she possibly could as she turned around after setting her plate down, locking eyes with Clover once again.
"Alright kid, I know cooking didn't go over all that well, but I've got one more way for us to get to the bottom of everything... One more way to really peer into your SOUL!"
Martlet couldn't help but sigh. Had the captain always been such a... She didn't want to say idiot, cause they weren't, but... Such an airhead? Maybe they were more similar than she thought...
"And that-is through a BATTLE! I want you to give me your best shot kid! REALLY lay into me as best as you can! Use as MUCH magic as you can! I wanna see your BEST...! Your..."
Oh.
Oh no.
Surely, the Captain of the Royal Guard wouldn't be going around starting battles with random children, right? Right. However, that apparently did not apply to children who weren't random...
"Martlet... What the HELL is that!?"
Undyne's gaze quickly shifted into a glare as they pointed at Clover's chest. Martlet's world quickly faded to black and white, Undyne pulling her into the fight on Clover's side...
"IS THAT THE GOD DAMN HUMAN!?"