Upon exiting the cave, I decided to climb up a tree in an attempt to better view my surroundings. I soon realized a few important truths. Namely, the sunlight still hurt my eyes and I think I've gotten fatter. Or ... bigger, I suppose. I like the sound of that better. Yes, I'm growing. Probably a little over a foot in diameter now, though it's hard to measure without things like a ruler.

Still, you'd think that climbing a tree would be relatively easy when your whole body was essentially a pile of liquid muscle-stuff. Perhaps I should've gone with a more slender tree and wrapped myself around it to climb up? Scaling it vertically was strenuous.

Ugh. Girl, we are putting you on a diet. No more binge eating the locals.

So I'd finally 'won' and all, but this world was still foreign to me. Even more so than my new body. If I thought about it too much, it gave me a headache. Or ... Core-ache? Whatever. The point was that while I immediately felt refreshed and less claustrophobic now that I wasn't in some dark, dank cave with dozens of creepy crawlies, I still didn't know what in Satan's red clapping asscheeks I was doing in this world. Apparently, some sort of God exists and they love to play practical jokes on mortals.

I'm just not getting the humor, y'know? Couldn't you have made me like a powerful sorceress or a dragon or something? Or at least able to talk? Hell, I'd be happy at this point if I still had Metflicks so I could binge watch all my favorite shows.

I sighed to myself. This wasn't productive.

There was a small clearing near the cave's exit, perhaps made by the kobolds or Dungeon Core itself? Either way, I spotted a carriage a short distance from the entrance. Did it belong to those people? There was no horse, no signs of life. ... Just to be safe I watched it for nearly 15 minutes, but the only thing in this area was the sound of wildlife. Bugs were buzzing, birds were singing, and all it did was slowly remind me I really didn't care for things like hiking or camping. Why did I want to come out here again?

Oh, right. Killer spiders and whatnot. Ehh.

While it was a bit relaxing to just 'lay' down atop a tree and take in all the nature, I decided it best to make plans and leave this place soon. That girl and man had escaped. Chances were high they'd send more people back to investigate. I didn't want to be anywhere near here when that happened, and I had no clue how long it'd take for 'reinforcements'. While I might be able to hide in the cave until their probe ended, I had no idea how thorough it would be or if they had means of detecting me.

Yeah, ... staying could be disastrous. Vámonos!

There were still a few things I could strip from the cave system that might benefit me, but putting distance between this location and myself now seemed essential. It was a bit of a shame considering there was a makeshift bed I could pilfer from that female kobold, but the rational part of my mind knew Slimes didn't need beds. Heck, I could mold my entire body to fill basically any spot, and the only discomfort I'd experience was if things got too hot or cold.

I still thought it wise to examine the abandoned carriage before leaving, just in case there was a map or books I could use to gain information on this world. After shuffling through the interior, I discovered that it was in disarray. Hastily thrown garments, small amounts of food, and what appeared to be medical supplies littered the cramped interior. There were two empty vials that still had a floral scent seeping from them.

With the horse gone and the inside in this condition, I assumed that knight had applied whatever functioned as 'first aid' in this world to the woman, then left on horseback. There were still the leather straps attached to the wooden vehicle. I was unsure the term, but it was obvious they were meant to be put on a horse. A harness or reins, I guess you'd say?

I scooped up some of the food in the carriage. I still had a terrible aftertaste from all the kobold chunks, so this jerky and loaf of bread were rather delicious. Almost as delicious as that chunk of white rocks. Far below the Mana Spring Crystal, though. I'm still salivating thinking about how much that one rocked my world. Ha, haa. Y'know, because it's a rock?

... Fucking hell, I need someone to talk to.

After a bit of scavenging, I decided to do what any sane Slime should and go the exact opposite direction of the carriage's tracks. There was likely a road of some sort in that direction, which meant I absolutely did not want to head over there. As the kids say, I was currently on the NOPEtrain to FUCKTHATville. The last thing I need is another crazy old witch flinging magic spells in my general vicinity. That explosive ice thing she did before dying still gave me chills! If I had gotten caught up in that, I'd be a Slime-sicle!

And so with great vigor, I continued on slowly this way for nearly an hour. I had to be very cautious while moving but was able to put a few miles between myself and that blasted cave. For now, at least, that should be enough.

"Pffthp."

I perched atop another tree and sighed to myself. It felt like I was a fugitive on the run.

Well, I suppose I did finish off an old lady and gobbled up more than a few sentient beings. I never studied law much in college, but I'm fairly sure that I'd be jailed or executed for my actions. Though I suppose all the witnesses are deceased, so barring magical surveillance I should be fine. Still, I'd love to see the judicial process for such a trial. 'We do hereby swear that Slime ate people!' to which I would respond, 'OBJECTION!' in a distinct, bubbling tone that no one could understand.

Or they'd just shoot fireballs at me. Strange and magical fantasy-esque world? Seems unlikely a Slime would get due process.

Well, guess it's about time to outline some goals for the future. Need to stay motivated. Let's try to devise a four-step plan, shall we?

Step One: Don't die. (This is the important part.)

Step Two: Find some poor sap beautiful person to be my Royal Guard and speech pathologist. Literally, anyone that won't kill me and can speak will do.

Step Three: Obtain a source of income/food to pay my future employee.

Step Four: Find a way to integrate into society or a way to live out in the middle of nowhere without someone sending an extermination squad after me.

I silently scrutinized my mental list. Was this really the best I could come up with?

Step One had been causing me enough problems, so how the hell was I going to complete Step Two? Step Four seemed nearly impossible, but I wasn't about to admit defeat. Hgnh, these working conditions are unreasonable. And I'm not even getting paid! There's no training manual or standard operating procedure for this bullshit. I don't even have a support network or staff to fall back on! Ghhh-!

No, it's fine. Relax. Let's just keep eating things. All these 'level ups' have made me feel better and stronger than ever, but I can't get complacent. I still don't know exactly how strong humans or other monsters are, especially in a straight up fight. Just because I've been stabbing things in the back when they let their guard down doesn't mean the same can't happen to me.

Speaking of which, I suppose I should try out these new Skills. Domain, was it?

I did some mental rooting around to try to figure out how exactly this Skill worked. It was strange how after acquiring a Skill I somehow instinctively knew how to use it. The first time was always a bit weird, but after that, it got easier and easier. And so ... 

—Domain!

A small amount of Mana seeped out of me into the thick tree branch below. After it condensed, it seemed to send a wave outward over a dozen feet. After that happened, I got an extremely vague sense of everything going on within that spherical area. It was almost like something was pinging my brain with a weak sonar every few seconds and transmitting a hazy image back to me.

I suppose this was to be expected since there didn't seem to be any enemies or wildlife around, but I certainly hoped something would happen if a hostile snuck up on me. Well, maybe I'll try this next time I find a stationary foe. As for Adaptive Coating, ...

Oh. This one kinda tickles. I feel tingly all over.

I held out an arm in front of me, watching the surface of my skin. I tried changing my now-pink flesh to the same coloration as this tree.

A small patch of brown formed after nearly 10 seconds. It was growing very, very slowly. I watched as point after point of my Mana went down. This doesn't seem very useful. At least, not right now... 

Ah, there's gotta be a trick to it. I'd dumped nearly a dozen Mana into it before it covered half of my body. After spending 20 Mana, my entire body was now brown. I looked at my Status.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Status Menu Name : n/a , Deathwarded Race : Small Princess Slime Level : 13 HP : 82/82 (+5.1/hour) Stamina : 24/58 MP : 29/54 (+0.63/hour) Strength : 22 Vitality : 30 Intelligence : 27 Wisdom : 20 (+5) Dexterity : 23 Luck : 33 (+5) Charisma : 6    

Ah. My MP regeneration ... it really did drop. Wow did it drop. This pitiful regeneration is nostalgic.

The Skill description said I could change my external and internal coloration, didn't it? I was only changing my skin and it was still so costly? Plus there was that huge upkeep. It was still usable, but I'd have to basically lay in place using Meditate for half a day just to recover what it consumed. I should increase my Intelligence more if I want to make good use of this.

I dropped the Coating effect and decided to hide inside a tree for a while to partially recover. I considered leaving it up and waiting longer but was still worried about pursuers. My paranoia had won out.

After I'd mostly recovered I decided to keep moving while looking for any potential prey or enemies.  On the way, I saw something vaguely resembling a rabbit. It had a rather brutal looking horn on its head but was otherwise normal. Wonder if it tastes good? Erm, not that I want to eat such an adorable bunny or anything. The thought was purely academic! Plus the little scamp was rather fast. Should've used a Slime Bullet. Tch.

My head has gotta be messed up or something. Was I always like this? Maybe getting turned into a green puddle has affected my personality somewhat. I keep thinking about eating weird things. And I swear I'm even starting to see in green. I mean, just look at that little green man over yonder! That ain't kosher!

... Wait, little green man? Doesn't he look kinda like a ... y'know. One of those. It can't be, right?

Green skin, floppy ears, about three feet tall. He was clad in some brown garb that vaguely resembled a caveman toga. Black, ratty hair was atop his head and he had numerous tribal-style painted markings on his thin arms. Two small bones pierced his ears. His fishing pole looked horrendous and crude.

Holy shit. There's an actual goblin by that river. And he's ... fishing?

Why is he fishing? Wait, so fish are down there? Can I sell fish to people? Open up a fishing enterprise? Get a fleet of tuna-hunting pirates? Ah, but I feel like I'm getting sidetracked and I lack a first mate. I wonder if this goblin is friendly enough to be one of my Royal Guard members. I sense a business partnership in the making. Goblins like food and shiny things, right? I think that's what I've read in fantasy books.

Ah! But he probably can't speak English. I am still speaking English, right? Damn, I'm not sure how much I care even if he doesn't. I'm pretty freakin' desperate here. I can probably learn to speak Goblin. Maybe it'll be like a Skill and I can become bilingual with a fraction of the effort? That'd be convenient. Oh, but I still need to give him 'something of perceived value'. Whatever that means. I'll have to get a feel for it on the fly.

Still, he doesn't look very intimidating. If anything, it looks more emaciated than those lizardfolk. And he still hasn't noticed me despite the fact I'm only 10 feet away. What if I had nefarious intentions toward him? His head would probably have gone splat by now.

No good, no good. I'll have to train him up somehow. Make him more intelligent and vigilant. Maybe I can communicate with him to have him stall his next evolution and get a nice mutation like I did? Yes, I'll have to treat my new employee with great care and attention. Alright, for starters...

—Domain!

I plopped down a Domain anchor to test it again. Rather than the empty picture I'd been getting back in my head before, this time a faint blue mist seemed to be shrouding the area the goblin was sitting. As I continued watching him eagerly and in complete detail, he sneezed and wiped a prodigious amount of snot on the shoddy fabric he was wearing. Gross...

I'll have to teach him about hygiene later. In the future, I will most certainly beat such idiocy out of his head. If things didn't work out long-term, I could just fire him and pay severance. For now though, I need a gift to fulfill the Royal Guard condition. Something a goblin would like. Something this goblin would like. But what?

Thoughts jumbled in my brain for a while before I decided simple might be best. My options were limited. This particular goblin looked malnourished. It was easy—give the gob-man a fish. Teaching would have to wait. He can become a proper fisher-goblin another day.

I slinked down beneath the water quietly and slowly as possible, so not to cause any ripples or disturbances. I'd put a bit of distance between the goblin and myself, so the chance of being detected was lower. After descending a few feet, I realized that while there were indeed fish down here, like the goblin, they were rather ... lacking.

After 10 minutes of struggling and mentally cursing these surprisingly nimble fish to a shallow grave, I'd done it. I'd caught something resembling a minnow. Now I just had to equip it to—err,  use it to bait the goblin into subservience and unfavorable employment benefits. Hmhmhmm!

Alright, I've got it all planned out. With my newly obtained pink and not-disgusting body, along with my 6 points of Charisma, you stand no chance! Prepare to be re-named Gobbo! I'm going to pet you and give you all my love until you grow up into an awesome, not-stupid goblin worker!

As casually as I could possibly manage, I strolled up beside the goblin with nervousness in my heart. Domain was still active, acting as a second layer of security and an extra set of eyes. I was in top shape should someone attempt to interrupt my recruitment attempt. The water was right there if I for some reason needed to make a hasty retreat. I cleared my throat to get his attention.

"Pllp."

With the combined sensual grace of over a hundred Slimes, I held the small fish out toward the goblin. As we locked gazes for the first time, I could sense limitless possibilities and potential in the admittedly dull, beady orbs of brown it called eyes. I gave the fish a gentle wave, letting the sunlight hit its scales to give off a vibrant luster. After holding out the fish to within his reach, I asked in my most pleading voice while attempting to activate my Royal Guard Skill. 

Please, become mine.

"Plllorpththp."

After which, the following happened.

You have taken minor blunt damage! -1HP

Ow! Y-You!

I'd been struck by a rock. He threw a pebble at me. Then he hissed at me in weird goblin language. And now he's trying to beat me with his shitty little fishing pole that I just now realized doesn't even have a goddamn hook on it! 

Seriously! It's just string! Are you really that stupid, green man? Have you ever caught a single fish with that rod? Who taught you these fishing methods?!

The following scene did not go well. After 20 minutes, I departed from that never-to-be-mentioned-again riverside. My heart and pride were ravaged. The scenario I'd painstakingly devised and had relative confidence in was a complete failure. My fish catching efforts had been in vain, and I hadn't even gotten any tangible benefit from doing so. Well, sort of. My fish did find its way down the gullet of exactly one highly-unconscious goblin, so at least that was mostly according to plan.

At this point, if I had been a lesser Slime I'd have simply ripped his head off and drank him like a slushie. But nay, I've changed. It is unbecoming of a Princess Slime to bully the weak denizens of this world. And boy was that guy weak. Alas, I am a generous woman. Homicidal violence to the natives simply won't do anymore! Along with my hard-earned fish I'd gifted to him, I also gave him some pointers on life.

Now admittedly, I may have been a bit ... overzealous in imparting my gift to the goblin. Assuming he didn't have any internal injuries, I'm sure his throat and stomach would recover from my delivery method of choice. Perhaps he might reconsider using that fishing pole after where I'd left it. Well, even after he retrieved the pole from where I'd put it, it'd probably take him a few days to sit properly. Assuming he still knew how to sit down after the facial swelling disappeared.

What can I say? This wisdom would surely stay with him for a lifetime.

Still, I can't believe he threw rocks at me and tried beating me with a stick! Freakin' asshole! I didn't need you anyway. What do I care if you rejected my proposal? I'm sure I'll get a way cooler Royal Guard than you could ever be. He'll be smart and manly and loyal and definitely not throw rocks at me. And he won't look like he's covered in rotten fish and caked boogers either! You're literally right by running water! Take a damn bath already, dirtball!

Ugh, even as a Slime, personal hygiene bothers me. Gotta find me a clean-cut Royal Guard. No slobs allowed.

It's a shame it was getting dark already. I suppose this wasn't a big deal for me since I had Magic Sensory to act as pseudo night vision, though the range was more limited than daylight vision. I was getting more comfortable traversing the wild and hadn't seen anything particularly dangerous. Truthfully, I half expected a bear or some wolves to pop out and try eating me. Wasn't that typically how these things go? Or like, bandits would appear and try to assault me? Ah well, I'm not complaining.

After picking a suitable tree near a narrow dirt path, I shuffled up it the best I could. I figured it'd be good to find a more densely populated area with monsters to 'farm experience', or perhaps just seek a quiet and remote location to level up my Skills. Either way, I'd had an eventful day. Perhaps things had gone for the best with that goblin, even. Hope the poor guy didn't get eaten after he'd passed out halfway through. His fault for being so lacking in stamina.

In hindsight, even if I could just fire him, I don't think a goblin would be terribly useful to me. I needed something ... a liiii~ittle smarter. While I stood by my previous and ridiculously low standards, I was still skeptical anyone was going to meet them anytime soon. It'd be nice if someone just kinda fell into my figurative lap so that I could recruit them with minimal effort.

Well, not like that's gonna happen or anything. The odds for such a thing gotta be astronomically low. I'll just have to keep training and hope I can evolve again soon. Hopefully, by then I'll be strong enough to pin down a man and tell him I'm not taking no for an answer. Hmhmhmm.

All in a strictly business sense, of course.

I'd carved out a small hole in an incredibly thick tree. After using Adaptive Coating to blend into said tree a bit more and putting down a Domain anchor, I found my mind wandering. While not as secure as my previous cave home, this was still pretty decent.

The night air had a slight chill and dampness to it. I began my nightly meditation in hopes of getting another Skill increase, yet soon found myself drifting off to sleep. For the first time in quite a while, I had pleasant dreams. I only hoped they'd last a bit longer.